Cork City Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Cork City Marathon

1. SMART

I think that it is very important to have clearly defined goals when doing a marathon. Like any good influencer I had an A, B and C goal to ensure that I remained motivated no matter what happened. The A goal was to destroy Viv, the B goal was to give Viv a bad beating and the C goal was to barely beat Viv. These were excellent goals as they met the SMART criteria of being Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.

2. Scope Creep

I think that it is amazing how much your goals can change on the morning of the race. I cleverly parked at the Q Park on Carrols Quay which is far better than any bag drop being 200m from the start. I jogged up to the Metropole for my warmup pretended I was staying in the hotel and used the bathroom there. When I was jogging back down the construction site that is MacCurtain street the crisp cool air reminded me of Seville or Valencia in winter, the perfect weather for a sub 2:30 attempt, sure I might switch to the A+ goal and go with Shane Collins I thought.

3. Elites

I think that it was great of the Cork Marathon organizers to have an elites section. I got an email the week before saying that we were to meet at 8am outside Elverys for a photo before being guided to the front of the race. Unfortunately, I missed the photo which was terrible as I looked very elite in my oversized orange sunglasses and red Nike singlet. I had to leave the Leevale singlet at home because it is constructed of sheep wool which isn’t great for anything above 12 degrees. My favourite part of being an elite was the WWE style walk on to the very front of the marathon which was only right really. Viv and Andy Goulding didn’t think they were elite enough so stayed with the masses.

4. John Quigley

I think that John Quigley’s article about the shortest possible route was possibly the most important piece to read before the marathon. Once we got underway, I quickly forgot about my A+ goal as I could already feel the heat and quickly settled into the sub elite group with Andy and Viv. We spent the first 10 miles of the race trying to do what John Quigley had advised. Viv clearly hadn’t read the piece as he nearly took me out on the skew bridge trying to run the wrong line. We hung along the center wall of the tunnel and tried our best to imagine where John Quigley would have measured a line. We weren’t too far off as we ended up only 0.3 miles over.

5. Edgar Allan Poe

I think that one of the main advantages of Cork is that you can have someone on a bike deliver you gels and bottles Deliveroo style. I had Conor McCauley with my simple still Italian water and Maurten gels. Viv had his son Darragh with a bag containing substances that if mixed in the wrong order could probably have taken out anyone within a three-mile radius The potions began to be mixed just after 10 miles. “take out the purple sachet and mix it with the bottle containing the clear liquid”. He was calling it Dioralyte but sure they used to call EPO Edgar in cycling so God only knows what it was. Interestingly the Dioralyte was never offered to either myself or Andy so it must have been good.

6. Bottle of The Day

I think that the best bottle I got all day was from Donal Coffey. The bottle was delivered just after passing the Marina Market. It was ice cold having been purchased from the petrol station. Myself Viv and Andy fought over it like the crows fight over chips outside Hillbillies. I had to give out to Viv as he nearly dropped the precious bottle by trying to catch it from the bottom while passing it over and back.

7. Andy Kipchoge

I think that Andy shouldn’t feel too bad about the point where he was dropped. If you compare marathon courses Cork is quite similar to Boston in where the hills are. Just like Kipchoge in Boston, the hills at the 18 mile mark were the crucial point for Andy. The decisive moment came on the hill before you turn left up the little lane before the zig zag chicane. Viv is a fright for pushing the pace on hills as he likes to keep the pace the same not the effort. With this little surge Andy became detached. I was nearly caught out but I quickly bridged back up to Viv and neutralized his Dioralyte fueled attack. Andy was left to fend for himself.

8. The Taming of the Viv

I think that if I ran every marathon with Viv his PB would be under 2:30. I did some excellent coaching of Viv over the last 8 miles. He is a fright for pushing the pace on hills, I think he doesn’t realize it but every time there was any bit of a rise the increase in effort came. The problem with this is that it spikes your heart rate which won’t come back down. I had to calm him down on every hill. Then on the Straight Road when he saw someone coming back to us he was like a sheepdog after spotting a big wooly sheep up ahead. He was about to put in a huge effort to close the gap immediately. “Relax Viv” I told him which he did, “We have ages to catch him” which we did.

9. Should I Stay or Should I Go

I think that racing someone in a marathon is great fun. I was so tempted to try and get rid of Viv along the Mardyke with two miles to go. I probably could have started increasing the pace there but foolishly I decided to wait for North Main Street. Psychologically I think he might have wilted if I’d gone to the front on the worn red tarmac. Instead, I let Viv stay in front which was a big mistake as on the narrow section opposite the Mercy as it’s impossible to pass.

10. 505

I think that I knew the game was up when we reached the bottom of North Main Street. I was just about able to stay in touching distance of Viv down North Main Street. When we reached Fast Als Viv picked it up again and started to look like he does at the end of a 5k, up on his toes gliding along effortlessly. Despite the hopeless position that I had found myself in I tried my own all-out effort with choppy hands which was at least a nice way to finish a marathon. When I looked on Garmin later, I found that Viv covered the last two minutes at 5:05 minutes per mile pace. I hadn’t a prayer.

pHOTO: gRAHAM MEIKLE

Ardmore 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Ardmore 5 Mile 2023

1. History

I think that a lot of local running history is being lost. I am almost certain that I ran this race about 10 years ago but there is no record on Strava or google of any result. It must have been between 2011 and 2014 as this is the horrendous period of running that was deleted off my watch because back then there was no bluetooth and you had to plug your watch into a computer which I never did. It must have been a good race because I’ve always wanted to go back to Ardmore.

2. Marathon Weather

I think that it is great that proper Cork Marathon weather has arrived. They should adjust the times from last year to reflect proper conditions. It will never be 11 degrees with drizzle in Cork in June again, never mind magic shoes, magic weather is worth way more, probably 5-8 minutes. Cork Marathon weather is however great for running short races by the seaside like Ardmore.

3. No Frills

I think that West Waterford run a great nice simple race. I like races without chip timing as it reminds me of the Ballycotton 5 mile series. €10 to enter, a simple number, a looped course, and a few lines on the road. Nice and simple where little could go wrong. It was sort of like going back in time to a race in 2010, even Sergiu turned up to make it exactly like 2010.

4. Catch That Van

I think that the starter did a great job in starting the race then running after a moving van and hopping in on the go before being caught by Sergiu. The race started in the middle of nowhere on a straight stretch of country road facing the sea that was perfect for a road race on a Friday evening. It was one of those pointless roads that doesn’t have any real purpose apart from connecting other small roads and facilitating excellent road race loops.

5. Steady Sergiu

I think that I will have to go back to starting sensibly. On my way to start I met Pat Fitzgerald and Noel Murphy both of whom have destroyed me in the last 400m of races. Because of this I decided that the only tactic was to go off as hard as I could with Sergiu and see how far I would get. Sure you’d never know Sergiu might have been tired and might have relaxed a bit after a mile. After a mile it was clear that Sergiu wasn’t interested in relaxing so I had to come up with a different plan.

6. Plan B

I think that the course for the race was perfect for my race plan. Once I had become detached from Sergiu I waited for the rest of the runners to catch me. I got to the little sharp hill in the town before being caught which was perfect as I could have a little rest on the hill and let them come past me. Only Pat and a runner from Carrick on Suir came by so I latched onto the back of them and prepared for four miles of suffering.

7. The Climb

I think that the climb back towards the start saved me in this race. Because I had been caught, I was able to just sit behind Pat for the mile long climb back up to the start. He was going at a pace that was just about bearable so I hung on a waited for the climb to end. We passed a signpost for Whiting Bay which is the beach where we used to go to as children so I thought about that while suffering.

8. La Calme

I think that the section from mile three to mile four was my best part of the race. When we reached the top of the hill at the crossroads Pat and the guy from Carrick on Suir decided that they weren’t going to do anymore running so I went back into second and tried to push the pace a bit. I could see Sergiu up ahead turning the corner at the end of the straight road that we had started on and counted 60 seconds until we reached the same corner which wasn’t too bad. Then we turned the corner which was the trigger for Pat and the Carrick on Suir to start the downhill sprint for home which was a mile away.

9. Fourth Again

I think that there are certain advantages to finishing fourth in races the whole time. Fourth is a great position to finish in if you are terrified of contracting sickness in halls after races and if you have a two year old who normally needs to go home immediately after races. I had no hope of third in Ardmore as Pat and the guy from Carrick on Suir put 20 seconds into me in the last mile. I was happy out in fourth safe from any marathon ruining diseases but without a prize.

10. Seaside Chips

I think that the best part of going to a race in Ardmore when there is Cork Marathon weather is the chips at the seaside after the race. I haven’t had chips in Ardmore for nearly 15 years. The chipper we used to go to was closed so we had to go back up to the finish to Shipmates by the pharmacy. It was just as well the race started at 7.30pm because the chipper closed at 9pm, the guys from St Catherine’s nearly got caught out. If they want to have a prize for fourth at the race next year a free bag of chips would be great.

Photo: DC IMAGES

John Buckley Sports 5K 2023

10 Things I Think About The John Buckley Sports 5K

1. Deflation

I think that this must be the most ridiculously under-priced event in running. €5 to enter a chip timed 5k on a silly fast course with 1000 other runners is pretty good. It has been that price since I started running in 2008. It is immune to inflation, the only inflation that has occurred has been due to magic shoes which we aren’t allowed to talk about.

2. GAA Parking

I think that I was unlucky to encounter a GAA security guard during my attempts to park in the secret car park. The security guard seemed to have some sort of sixth sense of whether you were a GAA person or not, I wasn’t in a saloon Toyato Corolla so was probably in trouble. “This is a private car park” “Go and abandon your car on the grass outside like everyone else”. He didn’t say the second part, but he didn’t care where I parked as long as I left his car park, so I did and eventually found the last space which was right by the finish. Kieran McKeown helpfully moved the barriers, so it looked like I parked properly.

3. Marina Park

I think that the paths around Pairc Uí Caoimh are great for warming up, it was nice to warm up and see how runners are so much tidier at parking their cars than the GAA crowd, there was almost no ridiculous parking. Because I was mad late because of work and the GAA security guard I had only 10 minutes before 8pm when the race was supposed to start for warming up. Luckily based on past experience, I knew that the race doesn’t actually start until about 8.10pm so I took my time and got two miles in before the start.

4. No Stress

I think that the start line of a 5k like this must be terrifying if you aren’t over 6ft tall and not up the front. I waited until after Jerry Forde had gone to go behind the line. Everyone in running that I like to beat was on that start line. When the BHAA siren on the left gently went off we sort of started like a wave from left to right which was just as well as the Marina is no more than 5m wide and more potholed than a country boreen.

5. Black Singlets

I think that it helps when you have done sessions on a route when it is included in a race. The first mile was straight down the Marina back towards town, Sean Doyle took off in his nice Cork City AC singlet followed by a group of four or five fellas in black singlets. Black singlets shouldn’t be allowed, you can’t tell who’s who in a black singlet. I was a good bit back with the familiar company of John Meade, Michael McMahon and Barry Twohig dancing around the potholes in my magic shoes.

6. Trevor Cummins

I think that it was very helpful of Trevor Cummins to cycle to the 2km mark to give us the split time. I can’t remember what time he said but it was very fast and most importantly fast enough to result in a great PB by me which would annoy Michael Herlihy tremendously and also result in lots of Strava comments. I considered the time briefly and continued on in pursuit of John Meade.

7. Tailwind

I think that the conditions couldn’t have been any better for the race. It was nicely warm and not very humid, there was a slight cross headwind for the first mile with no wind for the second mile and a light tail wind for the finish. I barely noticed the wind in the first mile as I was hiding behind John Meade and Michael McMahon, when we got onto the road past the Marina Market I made it my business to get to the corner at the top still in contact for when the tailwind would start and hoped that I would be able to drop them with the wind on my larger back.

8. Go on Viv

I think that it was looking good for a great PB by me with about 500m to go. I had been dropped by a vicious surge by Michael McMahon and John Meade but had held onto Barry Twohig so I knew I was doing ok. Then Barry overtook me just before we reached the Marina Park. Then I heard the ominous sound of “Go on Viv” just behind me. He couldn’t could he?

9. ChatGPT

I think that if ChatGPT was used to analyse the Garmin files of all the runners in the race Viv’s file would be flagged as not normal. It would not fit any algorithm no matter how badly programmed and overhyped. The speed at which he danced by me with 200m to go was frightening. His vicious powerful attack resulted in an 8 second gap in 200m which is not normal as I didn’t slow down that much. I suppose he was extraordinarily motivated, but it was extraordinary and terrible for my morale and ego.

10. Jeremy

I think that a lot happened in the last 200m of the race. Being beaten by John Meade, Michael McMahon, the two Barry’s and Viv was already terrible but worse was to come. Just after Viv breezed by Jeremy pounced on my demoralized body and breezed by delighted with himself. At this point I gave up and just jogged home which was a mistake because I just missed a great PB by me. It was a terrible result, beaten by everyone, no PB and no nice top 10 t-shirt. I’ll get revenge in the marathon I hope.

Photo: Niall moran

Cheetah Run 5K 2023

10 Things I Think About The Fota Wildlife Park Cheetah Run 5k

1. Great Place for a Race

I think that Fota Wildlife Park is one of those places where when you go there when you unfortunately aren’t running a race you constantly think this would be a great place for a race, they should have a race here, it would be great. As usual I am a great judge of where a great place for a race would be and it is great.

2. Pointing

I think that there was some excellent car park pointing at the race. Eagle A.C were out in force doing excellent stewarding, the best pointing of the night came from Derek O’Keeffe. It was friendly but authoritative pointing, the best type of pointing, leaving the driver of the car both sure of the direction and happy with the direction.

3. Warm Up

I think that I knew I was in trouble when I started the warmup. I warmed up with Sheldon in my new Runner’s Diary T-Shirt which Rhona got me for my birthday and insisted that I wear, despite the excellent high-quality fabric and colour of the t-shirt I felt terrible as I had the misfortune of contracting a disease from Billy during the week. I didn’t think it was a particularly bad disease just one of the normal inevitable head colds that you get from a two-year-old that make planning races impossible and make you consider wearing a mask around the house.

4. Scurrilous Race Directing

I think that it is very bad that race directors are willing to go as far as offering free entries to my enemies like John Meade to ensure that I don’t finish in the prizes. I’m a very nice man and a benevolent social media influencer who doesn’t look for any free entries, yet John Meade was invited on a gratuitous basis to the race to beat me. I know this because John Meade told me. It was just as well that John Meade was otherwise engaged otherwise I would have been very motivated to win.

5. Actually a Cheetah Run

I think that the event is well named. On the start line there was a high-quality field with past champions like James Grufferty and Kieran McKeown in attendance, I’m unsure how many of them were invited in the anti me conspiracy but a podium looked unlikely. We took off down the hill in the opposite way to which I usually have to carry Billy back to the car past the Giraffes before plunging down the hill where a Cheetah actually ran alongside us very fast which was nice.

6. Coldplay

I think that after 400m I started to panic. I couldn’t breathe because of a combination of the tree pollen and Billy’s disease. I was running with Kieran McKeown about 50m off the back of the lead group of 6. Kieran being the excellent coach that he is, could hear my shocking breathing and told me not to panic so I didn’t. The Kieran McKeown coaching service must be the only service in the country where the coach instructs his athletes from the race. Aidan Noone was given in race instructions to hop on my back which he did which was great coaching.

7. Kangaroo Route

I think that it is difficult to look at the animals when you are running a 5k around a wildlife park. Aside from the Cheetah the only animals I saw were Kangaroos that were bouncing along beside us. Aside from the difficulty in looking at the animals the route itself is lovely, it probably isn’t the fastest 5k in the world, but it has everything. Tiny little climbs, big little climbs, gravel and smooth tarmac. The Vaporfly 3s were a bit slippy on the gravel road but lovely and bouncy on the smooth tarmac around the park. The potholes on the bumpy gravel road were filled in with very black tarmac which made them easy to spot.

8. The Other Barry

I think that all races end up in a similar pattern. I spent the last 3km of the race engaging in all too familiar activity attempting to catch a Barr’s singlet. This time it was worn by Barry Twohig instead of John Meade. I though that I was closing on Barry as we went down the hill past the Lions and in with a chance of 5th but Rhona said that at the end the gap was huge and that I must have been seeing things. It was an impressive performance by Barry, he will have to be added to the long list of people for beating.

9. Heavy Me

I think that I felt like Billy normally feels at the 4km marker. Anytime I have taken Billy to Fota he starts to give up just after the penguins and the back breaking carrying starts. Sometimes if you are lucky, you can get the train back from the penguins and save your back. Interestingly the walk and run back from the 4km mark feel very similar. I have suffered a lot in that last kilometer.

10. Kudos No Comments

I think that the last 500m of the route are particularly challenging. I was in no mans land, there was no one in front of me and I couldn’t hear anyone behind me. I struggled up the hill by the Cheetah back out onto the smooth flat tarmac where the Giraffes live and tried to sprint but I couldn’t because I had no air. I could see that the clock had ticked over the magical 16 minutes which results in no “well done” comments on Strava just kudos. I couldn’t breathe at all at this stage so I was happy to get across the line in 6th the and my usual first of the non-prize places. I’ll be back next year and the year after and probably every year if I’m let.

Banteer 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Banteer 5 Mile

1. Memories

I think that the terrible thing about races that happened before the invention of Facebook is that you aren’t sure if they happened or not. I’m almost certain that I have run a race in Banteer before but I have no idea what or when. I remember it had something to do with Michael Herlihy but that’s about it. Banteer looks a lot different to my vague memories, much more modern with the most square footage of astroturf pitches per head of population in the country.

2. Racing Backbone

I think that when you do something like three races in five days which is universally considered an idiotic thing to do you need to come up with some sort of self-justification for it. I seem to have survived it unscathed like I did the last time at Christmas so I will call it the Racing Backbone, a key component of any moderately good local road racing athlete. Maximise your chances of winning a race when no one else shows up by implementing the Racing Backbone in your training program.

3. Pierre-Ambroise Bosse

I think that Anthony Mannix’s wearing of a Cork Track Club T-shirt instead of a singlet was very French 800m track runner behaviour. Personally I can’t understand why anyone would choose a t-shirt over a singlet but perhaps Ian O’Sullivan has a wind tunnel at MTU and has discovered something that the rest of us don’t know yet.

4. Safety Briefing

I think that the safety briefing before the race was excellent. More races should do this, it doesn’t matter if most of the people don’t listen as long as a few do. It drastically reduces the chances of a Great Ireland Run debacle. The critical points are where does the course go and what side of the road do we run on.

5. Operation Follow Anthony

I think that after the relative success of just following the other runners in Youghal I decided that I would try the Donie Walsh tactics once more and just follow Anthony Mannix irrespective of the pace. Once we passed the Skoda dealership where the road was greasy and slippy from all the oil leaking out of the new electric cars it was just myself and Anthony.

6. Skoda Enyaq IV 80

I think that it is a pity that Michael Herlihy wasn’t able to make it to Banteer as he would have enjoyed seeing the crucial role that an electric car played in the race. The route ran out from Banteer for about 2 miles before turning at a cone. When we turned at the cone which was cleverly taken away and put back afterwards for the electric car to turn, we ran back the same way which meant that it was crucial that the other runners stayed left. There is no better vehicle in the world at making runners stay left on a road than a beeping 2.5 tonne electric SUV.

7. Eddie Dunbar

I think that it is amazing that Eddie Dunbar came from this part of the country and is now a professional cyclist specialising in climbing mountains. This course would not have suited Eddie Dunbar. It was very flat, almost entirely so. Very fast, someone like Michael Harty would eat the road up and run under 24 minutes I have no doubt.  

8. Back to Banteer

I think that I did well to get back to Banteer after three miles attached to the back of Anthony Mannix like a trailor. I felt fine although Anthony looked like he was under no pressure possibly due to the aerodynamic advantage bestowed by his t-shirt. There was a man at the side of the road at about 5k saying 16:12 which seemed very fast, but I suppose it was very flat.

9. Flawed Thinking

I think that there is a major flaw with the Donie Walsh strategy of racing. The strategy works really well when your surname is Walsh and not so well when your surname is Coakley. By the time we got to four miles of relentlessly flat road I was beginning to picture myself sprinting away from Anthony Mannix down the home straight. Unfortunately I had no idea how I was going to achieve this as holding onto the back of him after 4 miles was pretty much full effort. I carried on anyway in hope, sure you’d never know he might just blow up.

10. The Kick

I think that it is a pity that there wasn’t someone filming the race like the last battle we had down in West Cork when I won. Unlike the last time there was no dramatic descent for me to make a move on and win. Instead with about 800m to go outside the electric car dealership Anthony gradually increased the pace to below my limit of 5 minutes a mile and I was swiftly detached and left to run home solo much to the delight of the local Anthony Mannix fan club that were in attendance at the race.

Youghal 5k 2023

10 Things I Think About The Youghal 5k

1. Clustering/Blocking

I think that the Norweigan’s might be onto something with their double threshold sessions. This is my version of it, double racing. I’m not quite ready to do two races in the same day but with the third generation of the Vaporfly there is almost no soreness the day after a race. Marius Bakken talks about the gap between the sessions allowing the muscle tone to reduce so I will say the same about the day between the races. People who started running in 2019 have no idea about what running races used to be like.

2. Round the House

I think that Kilkenny and Youghal are probably the two best 5ks in the country. It’s no coincidence that they both use the roads in the centre of the town and have really old buildings. The Youghal route is probably a bit faster as it is totally flat, the only problem is the proximity to the sea and the slight breeze that the sea brings.

3. Disgrace

I think that turning up to a race when you’ve run a race the night before takes away all the pressure. When you have run a race the night before people like Nick O’Donoghue feel under pressure to beat you and think that it will be a disgrace if they don’t which it would be. Also Mark Walsh doesn’t feel like he can sit behind you for the entire race.

4. 400

I think that the first 400m of the race was the only normal part of the race. We took off from outside the Walter Raleigh Hotel in a normal fashion and ran down towards the town. When we reached the Y junction where we went left the pace suddenly slowed up. Wind had been detected which meant that no one wanted to run into it. Nicky seemed to be unaware of the terrible wind and took off in front of the group. I followed the attack, but it petered out within a few metres when he realised the futility of running into the howling vicious East wind.

5. 1k Rep

I think that the race was a lot like doing a session, the lull in proceedings after Nicky’s initial pointless attack lasted until we turned right and felt the wind at our backs. We ran full tilt down the back straight for 1km until we turned right again at the top of the town and turned back into the terrible vicious wind which resulted in another lull in proceedings. There were eight of us in the group all spread across the road with no one wanting to push the pace.

6. Floating Under The Clock Gate Tower

I think that the second time under the Clock Gate Tower was the slowest we ran during the race. The eight of us were bunched up across the road with no one really making a significant effort. It was kind of odd given the obsession with times that no one seemed to care how “slow” we were going. It felt like about 5:40 pace. It was tormenting me to stay behind but I felt like trying the Donie Walsh tactics at least once especially as he had told me to before the race.

7. The East Cork Assault

I think that the problem with running “slow” in a 5k is that accidents can happen. Mark Walsh was lucky that Nick didn’t take him out just before we started the last fast kilometre. It was probably my fault as I asked Mark to let me out as I was finding it uncomfortable to be at the back of the pack. It was quite a stumble but he stayed upright and it was quickly forgotten when we turned onto the back straight with the howling wind at our backs again.

8. Back Straight

I think that Donie might be very right about the sit and kick method of racing. It is a very pleasant way to run a race. The last time down the back straight felt amazing, unlike any last mile of a race I have run before. We had the wind at our backs, and I felt wonderful I made my way to the front of the group of  eight but unfortunately Tony Forristal was feeling more wonderful and quickly went past followed by Mark Walsh.

9. Eight Becomes Four

I think that I had the best seat in the house for the race to the line. I got to the final corner just on the back of Mark, Pat and Tony which I knew was essential with the vicious headwind that we were going to have to finish into. I was hoping they might play some more games in the wind as there was still about 800m to go but there was no messing, and the lads took off spread across the road in a group of three. I was quickly dropped and left to battle the wind on my own.

10. Watching the Clock

I think that it’s interesting that when you don’t worry about time in a race the time still comes. I spent the last 400m desperately trying to hold off a closing Nick, Aidan and Youghal AC duo which I did. Pat prevailed over Mark and Tony which was very surprising as Mark is a hard man to outsprint. Despite all our “slow” running and messing we still managed to clock under 16 minutes which goes to show that racing and clock watching result in nearly the same thing. The only difference is that racing is far more fun.

PHOTO: GRAHAM meikle

Pfizer 6 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Pfizer 6 Mile Road Race

1. Cork Marathon

I think that this used to be the race that you found out who was doing the Cork City Marathon. Now that everyone doing the marathon avoids racing at all cost and hires a private coach I am none the wiser as to who is doing the Cork City Marathon. Perhaps everyone is doing the 10k and I will win comfortably with time to high five Michael Herlihy in the finishing straight.

2. Car Park Warm Up

I think that after the excellent car park at the race in Midleton last week, the car park for this race could potentially take the title of best car park at a road race in Cork. It had a lovely smooth tarmac surface with easy access to the registration and a short little loop for warming up. They even had signs to ensure that you reversed parked so that you could make a quick getaway after the race if your child was cross.

3. No John Meade

I think that it was a great pity that John Meade was too tired to do the race. He had said that he would do it but exhaustion after school got the better of him so I was left with Viv as my only known adversary. In the excellent car park I met Shane Collins, then I saw Barry Twohig, Darragh, Tadgh and Fergus at the start. To be honest I was hoping no one would show up and I could win for once.

4. Downhill Start

I think that the start of the race was worrying. It is always problematic when you look back and see the finish further back up the hill from where you are starting. This significantly reduces the chance of a great PB by me, but as it was the infrequently run distance of 6 miles I wasn’t too worried as no one knows what a great time is for 6 miles. The race went off without any drama, the BHAA’s siren method is much better than a countdown.

5. The Bridge

I think that I did a good job in reducing the field during the first downhill mile. I didn’t go too mad but mad enough to put Viv in the rear-view mirror. I was left with the sound of three other Vaporflys by the time we got to the bridge to the naval base, Barry, Darragh and Shane. I knew that as all three are a bit smaller than me I hadn’t a hope unless I got rid of them before we got to the mile long hill up to the finish.

6. The Park

I think that the loop around the park was lovely. It is a very nice park when it isn’t windy. When we found which direction we were going in the park Darragh made a move, I waited for Shane and Barry to follow when they didn’t so I had to make an effort to catch up to Darragh which I did. Shane was very clever and let me do the work to catch up to Darragh and sat in behind me. Barry seemed to be a casualty of the park as we were now down to three Vaporflys.

7. Collision Avoidance System

I think that the corner where we turned right into the park was a little dangerous. It was fine when we were going into the park but when we were coming out all the other runners were naturally taking the inside line clipping the apex of the bend like Formula 1 drivers. We had to cut across to the other side of the road which wouldn’t be the most natural method of cornering to get around the bend without hitting into anyone. I’m not sure what you could do to prevent it, perhaps put a cone with a sign at the corner to make sure everyone stays left.

8. Hang On

I think that I knew I was in trouble when I was struggling to hang onto the back of Shane and Darragh as we ran through Ringaskiddy. I was reasonably ok on the flat but very certainly the third of the three. I could see the hill rearing up in front of us which did not exactly fill me with hope. I’m almost as bad at hills as I am at sprinting.

9. Super Domestique

I think that I could be Leevale’s Super Domestique. If Shane Collins and Mark Walsh are the Mark Cavensdish I am the Mark Renshaw like leadout man. I haven’t a hope of winning a race in any sort of sprint as I don’t like the track as I get injured if I run on it because my legs are too long for the bends so I have no speed. When we got to the hill which is where my leadout man analogy fails Shane took off, Darragh initially went after him but was quickly distanced leaving the three of us equally spaced out on the climb back to Shanbally.

10. Hang On

I think that the last mile of race where you have been dropped on climb and you know that Viv is prancing up the hill with approximately 50% of the energy required for you to get up the hill is terrible. I felt like I was crawling up the hill which I probably was. Eventually I reached the summit where it flattened out without hearing the silent glide of Viv going past so I was safe in third which isn’t bad. I couldn’t stay for the podium as Billy was cross, luckily I had reversed parked so I could get away quickly.

Photo: Derek costello

Midleton 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Midleton 5 Mile

 1. Best Course in Cork

I think that the Midleton 5 mile route might be my favourite race route in Cork. It is a beautiful route, lovely rolling hills, nice smooth surface for most of the route and a little bit of country roads to mix it up. The start is near a huge car park and there are excellent places to warm up. You could hold a national championship there I imagine, it’s nearly perfect.

 2. Adidas Pro 3.0

I thought that the rain on Thursday night might have resulted in a few Adidas Pro 3.0s appearing after Kipchoge’s defeat in Boston. An Adidas shoes hasn’t been seen in race in Cork since about 2004 which is amazing as they used to be very popular. The new Adidas shoes with their Continental rubber are supposed to be much better in the rain than Nike shoes, although this probably doesn’t matter on Irish roads which are grippy no matter what you are wearing. On the line despite the heavy persistent straight down rain there were no Adidas, the odd Asics with everyone else in Nike Vaporflys.

 3. Fivers

I think that I should have registered online before the race. Cash is a disaster. The entry fee was €15 which is fine but they had no fivers and everyone either had €20 or €50. I had to wait for about five minutes while someone found a fiver which was very stressful and probably cost me a few seconds in the race. Fail to register online, prepare to fail.

 4. 1,2,3,4

I think that the guy that did the countdown for the race should be forced to watch the Sesame Street Youtube video of 1,2,3,4 on loop for 6 hours like I have to as punishment for messing up the countdown to the start. It was unbelievable. He went 7, 6, 5, 2, 4, 3 ,5, 1 or something like that. Only Pat O’Connor understood this new system of counting and got a big head start on the rest of us. Perhaps other races could copy the system, it would stop fellas going on 2.

 5. Pointing

I think that I could get a job at races as the person who leads the race the right way for the first two miles. I’m very good at leading the way and knowing the course. I know Midleton very well and because Michael Harty didn’t race I had to lead the way. I pointed to everyone where we were to go at the two slightly of confusing junctions. I did an excellent job and everyone went the right way. The route was painted on the road in case I wasn’t there which would probably have been fine too.

 6. Los Lumpos Lazios

I think that it was incredibly lazy of the group to let me set the pace for the first two miles. I’m very tired from having run too many races and I’m nearly 37 which is quite very old. There was a massive bunch behind me after two miles, possibly 10 runners. If I had of been fresher, I might have been able to run faster to get away from them but about 5:20 pace was as fast as I could go.

7. Great Move

I think that knowing the course in great detail made knowing when to make a move much easier. I knew that after 2 miles the route goes left down a sharp hill by a farm so just before we got to the turn I went for it as fast as I could. I got a bit of a gap but unfortunately immediately after the downhill there is an uphill, so they all caught back up to me again. I might have gotten rid of a few of them but not Meade and not Mark Walsh. Michael McMahon said they were all just laughing at me which isn’t nice.

8. Castle Meade

I think that it was possibly impossible to beat John Meade on this course. I knew that I had to have a gap on him by the time we were on the hill by the castle at around 3.5 miles. When we started the hill I could only see Anthony Forristal and Mark Walsh which made me happy. Then John Meade drifted up the outside effortlessly looking like he was only getting started. This upset me greatly, I should have concentrated on Mark and Anthony but I prefer beating John Meade so I focused on him too much.

9. Instructions

I think that Donie Walsh is the master tactician when it comes to running races. There is probably no one better in the world. When we got to the turn back onto the closed road with about 800m to go I was unfortunately just behind Mark, Anthony and John. We passed Donie who gave the relevant instructions to Mark “Just do what you did to him last week”. Which is exactly what Mark did. I did nothing and ended up 4th again.

10. Pointless

I think that no matter what tactics I used in the race it was going to be pointless. The terrible thing about racing Mark Walsh is that you have to be fitter than him to beat him as he is too clever. It’s no use to be the same or a little bit fitter as he will outsprint you in the last mile. It’s the same with John Meade, you have to have them distanced well before the finish. I should probably go and do perfect training for a while and come back and beat them but by the time I’d have that done the races would all be over. I’d say I’m forever doomed to finish 4th for the rest of the year, at least there was a prize this time.

Photo: Joe murphy

Limerick Half Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Limerick Half Marathon

1. Spain in 1600s

I think that it’s a little known fact that I’m actually from Limerick. I spent my childhood going to Limerick instead of Cork because the road to Cork hadn’t been built by the EU back then. Limerick back then was like Spain in the 1600s. It was a golden age with money from Dell and a pedestrianised shopping street called Cruises Street with excellent shops like Easons, O’Mahony’s and Game. Then the road to Cork was built and I haven’t been back since.

2. The Cresent

I think that it was exceptionally easy to access the race. My mother had miraculously managed to collect the numbers in UL the day before so I arranged to meet Michael McMahon at the Cresent Shopping centre which is where I used to go to the Cinema before the road to Cork was built. The Cresent should be advertised as parking for the race as it was exactly an arrow straight 2.5k from the startline which is a perfect warm up and warm down.

3. Blindboy

I think that everyone from Limerick sounds like Blindboy when they are given a microphone. I had to go and check that the guy with the mic wasn’t actually Blindboy because he sounded identical. When I found him I was none the wiser as he wasn’t wearing a shopping bag over his head and Blindboy is know to do a 10k so it could well have been Blindboy.

4. Great Limerick Run

I think that organisers need to learn the lesson of the fiasco that was the Great Ireland Run. If there is time to have a priest read a nice prayer and someone from the generous sponsors to give a talk then there should also be time to tell us some basic information about the route like does it go right or left at the start and what side of the traffic cones are we to run on. It all worked out fine in the end.

5. Maunsell and Somba

I think it didn’t take long for the podium to be decided. After about 400m the Kenyan and Clonmelian checked out leaving myself and four others to decide third place on the podium. The third place on the podium was decided after three miles when Chris Jeuken pulled over to put his AirPods in at a water station leaving a gap to a fella in a white singlet who’s name I don’t know. We spent the next 10 miles trying unsuccessfully to close the gap to the white singlet leaving four of us battling for fourth.

6. You Make My Dreams Come True

I think that it was a little suspicious that there was a busker on the street playing You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates. I had been listening to the same song on repeat in the car on the way down because my Spotify was malfunctioning. It was a bit too Truman Show. When I was listening to it in the car I was thinking how I could make the song into an ad about my Vaporfly 3s.

7. The Four of Us

I think that the group that formed after the departure of the unknown guy in the white singlet was an excellent group. It contained Michael McMahon, Mossy Bracken, Chris Jeuken and myself. I was definitely the most tired of the four so I sat at the back struggling to hang on for the first six miles. Then my legs sort of woke up and I was able to contribute to taking the ever so slight Limerick headwind and telling the other lads what to do. We stayed together right until the last mile as a group of four.

8. Gaelic Grounds Defeat

I think that it was fitting that as we past the Gaelic Grounds the Clareman Chris made the decisive move that ended up with him taking the all important 4th place for which there is no prize, a pointless victory. Michael McMahon was the only one who could attempt to follow, myself and Mossy were left to run home solo.

9. Humidity

I think that high humidity is my least favourite climactic condition. I hate humidity, it is a highly potent and selective inhibitor of great PBs by me. There was tremendous levels of humidity in Limerick, it was nearly as bad as the Charleville Half Marathon a few years back. Humidity has an odd influence on a race, it slows you gradually even though you think you are going the same pace. It’s terrible, I much prefer running great PBs by me in February.

10. 1st Limerick Man

I think that I might have been the first Limerick man home which would be nice having not been back in Limerick for years. I was very impressed with Limerick and the race. It had everything, a nice course, excellent marshals, buskers who knew what I was listening to in the car, good atmosphere and crowds. It’s every bit as good as Cork all it needs is a better road from Mitchelstown.

Rock 'n' Roll Madrid Half Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Madrid Half Marathon

1. Rock ‘n’ Roll

I think that a race run by Rock ‘n’ Roll was a risky choice after the Great Ireland Run 10k Fiasco. Rock ‘n’ Roll doesn’t exactly instill an image of a Spanish Michael Herlihy carefully meticulously organizing a road race for runners. It conjures up images of a fun run with music which is fine but not what you are looking for when you want to run PBs. Luckily in Spain it’s sort of like the Spanish Michael Herlihy has ignored the Rock ‘n’ Roll bit and just used it to cleverly pay for the race organization.

2. A Big Cobh

I think that Madrid is a lot like Cobh. The hills in Madrid reminded me of the Cobh 10 race. Maybe Sonia O’Sullivan isn’t mad to think that the Cobh 10 could replace the Ballycotton 10. They got lots of Kenyans and Ethiopians to come to Madrid and run up and down the mad hills of Madrid, why wouldn’t they come to Cobh?

3. Toilets

I think that someone needs to invent a solution to toilets at races. The queues are always ridiculous. Madrid was no different, if you didn’t need the toilet when you got into the queue you’d need to go by the time you got to the front of the queue, the only big event I’ve been to that didn’t have this problem was Berlin due to the ample bushes. Perhaps races should only start in areas with bushes.

4. No Marathon

I think that I have never been so glad not to be running a marathon. In a moment of madness in the aftermath of Tokyo marathon I decided that it would be an excellent idea to do the full marathon in Madrid. Then I told Rhona and I quickly changed to the half. It’s very important to have someone to stop your nonsense. Unfortunately because of this I didn’t get the nice number with my name on it with the fada and had to use a generic number even though the half and the marathon started at the same time and took the same route up until 20k. Thankfully they still kept me in the first wave. When I stood on the startline and looked up the road at the big hill I was very happy to be running a half marathon.

5. Two Miles Uphill

I think that the first two miles of this race are like the opposite of the Boston Marathon. It is a ludicrous start to a race and would prompt massive complaints in Ireland. It goes straight uphill for at least two miles before flattening out a bit up beyond the Real Madrid stadium. You’d almost want to do strides before the start because it’s hard to get going uphill. I sat in with the women’s marathon group until we got to the top of the hill which had the added advantage of getting some TV coverage.

6. Plátano De Canarias Series

I think that Spanish runners like half marathons a lot. Half marathons must be the most popular distance in Spain, they love them and I can see why, they are an excellent distance that you can recover from quickly and do lots of. They even have like a Peugeot/Kia Series of them which is sponsored by a banana company from the Canaries. I think I’d be leading it if I’d done Barcelona Half which is a pity.

7. Lucho Herrera

I think that I felt a little like Sean Kelly during the race. I ended up running with two Colombian runners who were doing the marathon. They were ridiculously incredibly good at the hills but absolutely appalling at going downhill. So for about 8 miles we yo-yo’d back and forth until we reached the turn off at the Puerta Del Sol for the half and marathon. They went right and I went left. Just as well as the finish was uphill and no matter how much I’d have channeled my inner Sean Kelly I was never beating these Colombians on any form of incline.

8. M8 / M7

I think that the organizers of the Great Ireland Run should be sent to Madrid on a how to design a running route course. The split between the half an marathon was extremely well done. It was like the turn off for Cork on the M7 except that they made the gantries and signs for people like my mother. The gantries and signs were huge, obvious, in different colors and repeated for about 2 km beforehand so that you couldn’t possibly go wrong. There were lines painted on the road and people shouting. Very very good.

9. Dundrum South Madrid

I think it was great to see an Irish club organizing a trip to a race abroad. At the finish I met a few fellas from Dundrum South Dublin who happen to be Leevale’s enemies in the Peugeot Series which is like the Plátano De Canarias Series without the half marathons. Unfortunately races in Spain don’t count for the Peugeot Series which is terrible as I beat them and would have won the race for Leevale as Paco was running in the 10k so we could have made a good team. They had gone to the Real Madrid match the night before which was apparently the worst match in the history of football and terrible preparation for a half marathon.

10. 24th

I think that 24th was an acceptable finishing position in the half marathon. I can’t really figure out whether I ran well or not as I’m comparing it to Seville which was run in near zero temperatures on a completely flat course. It’s almost like if time is your only reason for running you should only run races from November to February as once it gets above 15 degrees and there are any few hills it’s impossible to run a great PB by me and people who weren’t there will think that they would have beaten you which is very annoying.

Great Ireland Run 10K 2023

10 Things I Think About The Great Ireland Run

1. 10am on a Sunday Morning in Dublin

I think that 10am on a Sunday morning in Dublin is not a great time for a National Championship. Nevertheless I had tapered my run the day before to 8 miles and was looking forward to trying to run a PB over 10k and perhaps win a medal in the hotly contested all important moderately old man M35 category. I was so excited I booked a hotel right at the gates of the Phoenix Park so I could run up to the start.

2. 25-30 Minute 10k Runners

I think the first inkling I had that things were not going to go well was when I met Alfie on my run up to the start. Did you see they have a sign 25-30 minute runners at the start? he said, They must be expecting Jacob Kiplimo or someone. Sure I suppose they had Bekele in the past, must just be an old sign.

3. No Team

I think that it is impossible for a club from Cork to field a team in Dublin at 10am on a Sunday morning. Nevertheless we managed to scramble together a team of four. Now I was even more looking forward to not only a potential M35 medal but maybe a national title. That would be great wouldn’t it, on a Sunday morning at 10am in Dublin.

4. 3k Marker

I think that the second inkling that I had that things were not going to go well was when I saw the 3km marker a few 100m after starting. “Ah that makes sense we are going to turn right off the main road and go back through the start” is what I thought. Then I saw the 1km and 2km marker accurately placed and marked. All very good, and a nice group perfectly paced by Emmett Dunleavy. It was all set up for a Great Ireland Run for me.

5. Applied Maths

I think I started to get a bit worried as we turned and ran down the main road through the park. Not long after seeing the 1km marker I heard the woman on the mic telling the people to hurry up and get started. 2000 people is a lot of people to get through a start line, we were due back through the start after about 2.5k so it was going to be tight, especially for Jake, Jake O'Regan that is not Jacob Kiplimo. I presumed they’d done the applied maths. I was doing the maths in my head and thinking this is going to be tight.

6. Small Yellow Cones

I think that it is very hard not to follow the bunch in a race. As we ran down the main road just past the 2km marker up ahead I saw the Gardai bike turn in right to go back through the start as I had thought. Strangely Jake O’Regan didn’t follow. Then I saw the bike do a u-turn come back out and drive off after Jake back down the main road. When our group reached the right turn we were supposed to make it was all blocked off with small yellow cones. Small yellow cones to a group of runners running 5 minute miles is like a gate to bunch of sheep, it means do not pass so we didn’t pass and continued straight on. I knew we were gone wrong and said it to the lads but no one really took any notice, small yellow cones mean only one thing, baaaaahhh.

7. Parallel Universe

I think that it is an odd feeling to be 3km into a 10k race knowing that it has all gone terribly wrong and that it isn’t going to count. Nevertheless I was in a nice group and moving well so I kept following them like a sheepdog chasing a bunch of sheep. Heywood was with me so I thought at least I can try and beat Heywood. Then Heywood dropped out so I had nothing to run for. Not a lot was going right. I continued on anyway, sure what else would you be doing a 10am on a Sunday Morning in Dublin in the Phoenix Park.

8. Jake Kiplimo

I think that it was interesting to continue on in the race anyway. We never saw another kilometre marker which I knew meant that we were running backwards around what was supposed to the actual route. As we approached the finish again and made the right turn we should have made the first time it was great to hear the world record for 10k being broken on a Sunday morning in Dublin at 10am. Personally it was great to experience seeing 27:57 on the clock crossing the line in a 10k. Funnily enough it feels exactly the same as about 32 minutes.

9. Disappearing Act

I think that rule number one for a race organiser when something like this happens is to own it. I wasn’t too upset or cross but you’d like to vent anyway it being a Sunday morning in Dublin at 10am when you’re from Cork, so along with my much more Roy Keane like Cork compadre Eoghan we spoke to an official in an AAI jacket and politely told him that we weren’t impressed by the organization. We walked away after making our point. When we turned around they had disappeared into thin air or perhaps the big white tent not to be seen again. You wouldn’t blame them I suppose.

10. Fyre Festival

I think that if Netflix want to make a documentary about the Not Great Ireland Run I’d be happy to participate. Netflix have made documentaries about less, it could be very good, I could sit on a chair and rant with a glass of whiskey, Brian Murphy from Kerry said he’d participate too, they’d probably have the budget to send a camera crew to Kerry. I’m not sure what they’d call it though, perhaps 10am on a Sunday Morning in Dublin.

BHAA PWC 5K

10 Things I Think About The BHAA PWC 5K

1. Storm Noa Session

I think that I would have done a wonderful perfect session at lunchtime if it were not for the storm on Wednesday morning. The great thing about BHAA races is that you can decide to do them at lunchtime on the day of the race because there is no pre-entry or selling out, just rock up with a fiver and away you go. I think a lot of people had the same idea, it’s a lot easier run a race in the wind than do a session in the wind.

2. One Albert Quay

I think that the modern building on the other side of the road from the place where the Sextant used to be before they pointlessly demolished one of the few nice buildings in Cork is a wonderful place for race registration. Registration was very efficient, and I didn’t have to talk to anyone except Barry. The BHAA numbers now have timing chips which is great. I parked over at the train station because I don’t like the traffic on the bridge and I was kind of late.

3. Vaporfly McKeown

I think that I should get a commission from Nike and or Lifestyle Sports for convincing Kieran McKeown to buy the Vaporfly Qubed. I am a wonderful salesman, I could do excellent shoe reviews on YouTube except that I don’t like running in different shoes and it wouldn’t be a great YouTube channel that only reviews the New Balance 880, New Balance 1400RC, the Vaporfly and the Dragonfly.

4. The GPS Vacuum

I think that it is great that we are back racing on the loop that became the unofficial time trial loop during the emergency. There were so many unbelievable times run on the Monaghan Road loop over 2020 and 2021 that people might have qualified for the Olympics there on Strava even with the new standards. On the start line for the 5k I received confirmation of what I already suspected; the loop is a GPS vacuum. My watch would only go orange, never green. Orange means proceed with caution or a pinch of salt.

5. Barry’s Move

I think that I was surprised to lead the race off the line. There was a very strong tailwind which combined with excellent new magic shoes made it possible to get to the front. It wasn’t long before James McCarthy no doubt targeting Ballintotis next week and Eric Curran overtook me. I held third until just before we got to the top of the road where Barry made a sudden surge to bridge across to Eric which I had to respond to because I knew we were about to turn into the storm and I didn’t want to be on my own with John Meade on my back.

6. Ancraophobia

I think that what went on into the wind on the way past the Marina Market was a disgrace. We were like a bunch of chickens jogging down the road all terrified of making any effort into the wind. I need not have worried about Barry’s surge to bridge up to Eric as the minute we hit the wind the pace slowed terribly, and we all bunched up like it was two laps into Olympic 5k final and no one cared about what the pace would look like on Strava.

7. Cork Not Very Nice Track Club

I think that Ian O’Sullivan is coaching a ruthless bunch of runners who will do anything to win or come second and third. When we bunched up into the wind on the road by the Marina Market, I was stuck behind James McCarthy with Barry keeping me hemmed in on the right side and the footpath on the left side. It was all fine until we reached the fertiliser plant when I felt that familiar full leg clip that could only have been from Anthony Mannix. Foot clips are probably like fingerprints unique to the individual. I was terrified of it happening again and ending up falling over and breaking my arm, so I beckoned Barry out of the way and ran out into the wind like a fool, a fool free from the risk of falling.

8. One Mile Race

I think that this race might as well have been a one-mile race. As we got to the corner to start the last lap, I was in the lead having bravely/foolishly run into the wind for about 300m with a wind fearing bunch behind me. When we turned sharp left at the corner at the roundabout running suddenly became significantly easier and we tore/ran slightly faster down the road. James McCarthy, Barry, Anthony and Eric came past fairly quickly once they realized the wind was behind them leaving me in fifth.

9. Machiavellian Meade

I think that John Meade must have thought that his days of beating me were over. His tactics in this race, while showing how much he respects me as an athlete which is really all I wanted in the first place, were cowardly and only worked because of the wind. He sat right behind me all the way until 300m from the finish when he calculated that he could use Eric Curran as a wind bridge to get a gap on me. I don’t really count it as a defeat anyway as 5ks are only fun races and not to be taken seriously.

10. To Race or To Session?

I think that I should probably undertake a course of perfect training and avoid racing for a while. I am beginning to get a little tired of my current standard, it would be far better to be unaware of it and only do excellent sessions. Getting destroyed by John Meade is a worrying sign. The only problem is that I love racing and I am getting moderately old, so I am acutely aware that there aren’t that many races left for me. I think that the answer to the question, session or race at my level of ability should always be race especially a BHAA race ten minutes from the house.

10 Miles des Baines

10 Things I Think About The 10 Miles des Baines Capbreton

1. 10 Miles in France

I think that I did well to find a 10 mile race in France. I didn’t go looking for one specifically there just happened to be one on near Bordeaux and there was a flight from Cork. The race was on in a town called Capbreton which looked like Dungarvan on the map so I thought it would be good.

2. Vin Rouge

I think that I felt under pressure after Rhona and John Meade’s victories in Listrac the day before. They won six bottles of wine, a plant and two wine glasses at a 17km race through a vineyard. It was a very good race to watch with everything from elite runners to Chewbacca taking part. Chewbacca was a big hit with Billy so we had to follow him around for a while after he finished.

3. Hotel Baya

I think that having a race that starts outside your hotel is wonderful. I didn’t realize that the hotel that I’d booked was the race headquarters when we arrived on the Saturday night after dropping John Meade off in Bordeaux to go back rioting. The receptionist was all apologies about the hotel not being accessible in the morning due to the race which was fine by me.

4. Mexican Wave

I think that doing a Mexican wave before the start of the race was one of the more unusual pre-race rituals I have taken part in. It seems to be a thing in France as they did it the day before in Listrac also. It involved everyone crouching down on the start line which I find almost impossible due to my bad right knee. I crouched down anyway as best I could and did the wave before we took off towards the sea. The race had about 1000 entrants so very Dungarvan like.

5. Decathlon

I think that this was the first time I have raced someone who was wearing Decathlon magic shoes. When the race went off. I recognized one of the runners Cedric from a race I did in France about 5 years ago so I said hello. He told all the other runners I was Irish which was helpful. Then I recognized Freddy Guimard the Decathlon athlete who ran 2:15 in the Paris Marathon the week before. The Decathlon magic shoes must be ok if he’s back racing a week later.

6. Peloton

I think that the first five miles of the race were very nice. We ran along the harbour on a cyclepath in a group of about 8 or 9. I sat at the back because I didn’t know the route and the pace was just about at my limit for 10 miles. It was like being in a peloton with the runners in front pointing out the various obstacles on the cycle path. Then we went under a bridge and started onto a gravely path along what looked like a river or a lake.

7. Paris Roubaix

I think that it was fitting on the day of Paris Roubaix that part of the route was like Paris Roubaix. After 5 miles our group was lined out running on the edge of the water on a half a meter wide concrete embankment trying to avoid the sandy gravely path to make maximal use of the magic shoes. At this point Freddy and another Frenchman made a break with my acquaintance Cedric leaving me with a group of 5 fighting for 4th. I was surprised at how easy it was to stay balanced on the embankment. It would have made an excellent photo.

8. Le Sable

I think that I probably should have studied the route in more detail before the race. Around 7 miles into the race the route went onto a beach which I did not know anything about, and we had to run through thick sand for about 500m. It was like a section of cross country race thrown into the middle of the Dungarvan 10 for the craic, if it was thrown into a race back home there would be uproar as people wouldn’t be able to run great P.Bs by me, I loved it. I can confirm that the Vapofly 3 is very good at draining sand. I must be good at sand running because I moved up to 4th in the sand and we caught and passed Cedric who had dropped from the Freddy group.

9. Stairs

I think that while we were running through the sand I started to dream of the podium and the champagne. I was right behind third place waiting for the road to recommence. Unfortunately, the way out of the sand involved climbing a set of stairs which I am unbelievable bad at. The guy in third danced up the stairs and put an incredible distance into me in the space of 200m so the podium and champagne was gone.

10. Cinquième

I think that it is very difficult to do well in the races abroad. You don’t know the course so you kind of have to follow someone at all times. On the way back to the finish I ran with whom I presume was a local, we helped each other in the wind and made some ground on the fella in third. The finish was back outside the hotel which was great. Unfortunately, I neither caught the fella in third nor beat the fella I was running with, so I ended up in 5th. The first place outside the prizes again. At least I am consistently about the 4th or 5th best in these races whether its in Ireland or France. I just wish I was a tiny bit better, I would have loved to have been on the podium spraying champagne.

Streets of Kilkenny 5K 2023

10 Things I Think About The Streets of Kilkenny 5K

1. Hardest Race in The Country

I think that this must be one of the hardest races in the country for someone from Cork who is not a teacher to run. I have entered and failed to run this race on at least four occasions. Mostly it was entering the race well in advance and then the week before typing Kilkenny into Google maps and realizing it was much farther away than it looks and beyond the acceptable range for a Thursday night in April. I was determined to make an effort this year.

2. Cobh Repercussions

I think that a normal 10 mile race the a few days before a 5k in magic shoes would be perfectly fine but Cobh was not a normal 10 mile road race. On Monday I was half crippled with hamstring and quad badness that was worse than any marathon I’ve run. I was debating not bothering going to Kilkenny again but then the weather got nice and a new pair of Vaporflys arrived at the door.

3. Give us 15 Extra Minutes

I think that it would make a big difference for the people of Cork if this race started at 1945 instead of 1930. It is about 90 minutes from beyond the tunnel to Kilkenny. Most Cork people work until 5pm which doesn’t leave much time for traffic and putting your Vaporflys in the boot. I arrived in Kilkenny which is much bigger than I thought at 1900, abandoned the car somewhere near the start ran over to collect the number and back to the car to install the Vaporflys before running back over to the start at the castle. It was very rushed if efficient.

4. Holy Thursday

I think that the start line of the race was very intimidating. There were an awful lot of very good runners on the start line some of whom you’d be more used to seeing on YouTube. Everyone was huddled together on the start line a good 10 minutes before the start which never makes sense to me. Before the start the man with the microphone attempted to thank the many sponsors but the speaker stopped working so he wisely gave up and we were quickly underway down the hill away from the Castle.

5. Wallop

I think that the starts of these packed 5ks are very dangerous. This one was no different. After about 50m I heard the most horrible sound of a man hitting marble. It was a very similar sound to a crash in cycling without the metal noise, more of a thud than a crunch. The thought briefly crosses your mind that you should stop and help before you quickly realize that stopping would be a terrible idea and the best thing to do is keeping going and try not to fall yourself. I’m not sure if anything can be done to prevent it, it’s every person for themselves at the start so people should probably just learn how to keep themselves upright.

6. Carrera Populares

I think that this race is a perfect example of why every town in the country needs to be pedestrianized. It was wonderful to run through the narrow medieval streets at dusk without the threat of being run over by a car. The crowd of people out watching the race made it feel like a cross country race where you never let up because there’s always someone cheering you on. The two laps make it even better for the crowd because they get to see the contrast between the effortless first lap and the tortuous second lap. Possibly the best course in the country. I’m sure they could do something similar/better in Cork City.

7. Vaporfly Cubed

I think that this was the perfect race to test out the new Vaporflys. I didn’t like the second edition at all. They were too firm and not bouncy at all, like fake Vaporflys but not fake. The third edition are much more to my liking. They are very squishy and soft under foot, they are so squishy that you’d think that they would be slower than normal shoes. When you get up to speed though the squishiness turns into springiness and suddenly you are bouncing along like that first wonderful race in magic shoes, it was nice to have that feeling back again.

8. Special Ks

I think that the organization of the race was impeccable. Everything was perfect. They had about a million traffic cones to keep the nasty cars away and because of the two lap course they had cleverly employed mobile kilometer markers that were held up by people. That was very clever. It is a very good sign of a 5 kilometer race when it is over quicker than you thought but still actually the correct distance.

9. Starships

I think that the music along the route was a great addition. Normally music in races can be annoying but the “Starships” song that was being played at kilometre four was the perfect rhythm for my bouncy slow Vaporfly stride. It motivated me so much that I started to make inroads into Barry who was just up ahead on his own.

10. Use Your Speed

I think that a race like Kilkenny is very difficult as there are so many people to race you can’t focus your hatred on one person so you end up kind of overwhelmed. I was exceptionally motivated for three miles, making good ground after a calm start. I had gotten past James Hayes which I thought was excellent and thought I was going to get Barry which would have been wonderful. Unfortunately, as my watch beeped for three miles my legs and lungs gave up. Someone shouted. “Leevale, use your speed” obviously confusing me for someone else from Leevale. The last bit took me what seemed like an age and as I was halfway up the ascent to the finish in front of the castle James Hayes danced by completing the Cork Track Club ambush. It was probably just about worth the three hours in the car on a Thursday night in April.

Cobh 10 2023

10 Things I Think About The Cobh 10

1. Cobh Tan

I think that any visitors to Cobh for the race must think that the weather is good all of the time in Cork. Last year it was sunny and calm, almost incredible, the same this year which was miraculous given the week before. Seamus Somers said that this must be why I’m so tanned, Cobh must be like Malaga to a person from Sligo.

2. Warm Up

I think that parking for the race was wonderful. I drove straight into the middle of Cobh and parked right by the finish. I knew that the start was up at the top of a crazy hill as I had pushed a buggy up the hill last year with a bad hamstring when Rhona did the race. I only had time for a mile of a warmup along the flat before installing the magic shoes and beginning the ascent to the start. I ran up the hill with the different colored houses where all the tourists were taking photos. It was a suitable warm up for what lay ahead.

3. Weeeeeeee

I think that this must be the only net downhill course in the world that is slower than if it was flat. The first half a mile is relatively normal, like any road race in East Cork, then the madness begins with a sweeping right-hand descent that is so steep it’s difficult to keep your legs moving fast enough not to trip up.

4. Bere Island

I think the only other race I have run with steeper hills than Cobh was on Bere Island. Bere Island is probably easier than Cobh because there is only one hill, there are two Galtee like climbs in Cobh which deserve names they are so steep. If it was cycling they’d have names and people would paint our names on them.

5. Olympians

I think that it was interesting to be involved in the battle between the Olympians. I didn’t really want to be involved in the battle, but I had no choice as I wasn’t fast enough to get up the road to Michael Bruton. It’s great to see people racing each other, racing is what the sport is about. It’s called a road race not a road time trial. If I was good, I’d race everyone all of the time.

6. Tour of Cobh

I think that all my years spent watching cycling on Eurosport paid off in this race. The Cobh 10 course is like the Tour of Flanders without the cobbles on the climbs. From watching cycling I knew not to attack the bottom of the climb like everyone else seems to do, the most important thing is to get to the bottom of the climb in first then relax for the first half of the climb, then make an effort when you can see the top so that you can run hard over the top of the climb and get good momentum for the descent. I’m not actually sure if this is the best way but it feels good and it doesn’t spike your heartrate too much.

7. Heywood

I think that the performance of the day was probably from Heywood or possibly Michael Bruton. I spent 100% of the race with Heywood which is not what I was expecting, I was expecting to spend about 62% of the race with him as this was his first 10 miler however 10 milers are more like 10ks now because of magic shoes so it probably isn’t that surprising. When I was a young fella in 2010 you couldn’t do back to back 10 mile races without having to spend 20 minutes in an MRI machine the following week.

8. Spaghetti Junction

I think that the Cobh course was particularly confusing. I never really knew where I was on the island at any time until we got back onto the main road at 8 miles and I could see Passage West. Where do all those other roads go? They don’t seem to serve any purpose other than to pummel the legs of cyclists and runners in magic shoes. There was one particularly confusing junction where we went straight on even thought there was a signpost to the left saying Cobh 4km. I had to shout at a steward to know where to go as there is no sign language for straight on.

9. The Island of Many Train Stations

I think that it is hard to define the last hill on this course. When you come out onto the road across from Passage West you’d think that the hills are over. There are however two nasty little mini hills left which can do a lot of damage. I was still with Heywood who I didn’t really want to get rid of as he was good help with the mild breeze as we started the second last hill up to the second of the three train stations in Cobh. I knew Aoife was 10 to 15 seconds behind as every time we went by someone, 10-15 seconds later you heard a “Well Done Aoife” at least it wasn’t “Well Done John”.

10. The Last Dance

I think that you know you are getting old and cranky when young fellas start tormenting you. What Heywood did to me on the sprint to the line was disgraceful, disrespectful and unsportsmanlike. It is ok to do a little celebration like a jump or a fist bump when you beat someone but it is not ok to do a side to side dance with your arms when you are only sprinting for fifth in Cobh and there are only prizes for the top four. If it was in America he’d have been disqualified and rightly so. I gave him a good talking to afterwards like a proper cranky old man, he won’t do it again, he will probably beat me again, that is if either of us ever recover from the hills of Cobh.

Mallow 10 2023

10 Things I Think About The Mallow 10 2023

1. Last Year

I think that it is a very scary thing to do to return to the sight of your last running injury. It is a minor miracle that I have completed a year without injury considering that the running that I do is completely wrong. No one, not even PhDs in physiotherapy know or can predict what causes a running injury. It could well have been that Mallow was the cause of my last running injury and not wrong training and racing. There was only one way to find out, run Mallow again.

2. Rice

I think that eating enough the day before a race is very important. I’m beginning to think that despite my bigness I probably don’t eat enough mainly because the internet gets into your head and makes you think you shouldn’t be eating food at all. Because I felt that I didn’t eat enough before the night before Tokyo Marathon, as an experiment I am going to try and eat as much rice as is possible the day before a race to see if it makes a difference. I managed two full bags of basmati rice the night before Mallow which was a good start to the experiment. Three might be possible.

3. Hi B

I think that Mallow is a very good place to hold a race. It is very easy to get to as long as you don’t have to come through Castletownroche like I had to. There is lots of easy free parking and if you are very clever you can park outside the Hi B leisure centre and use the toilet there before jogging down to the start at a nice castle.

4. Caution

I think that when you have suffered an injury in a race previously due to starting like an idiot because the race was starting in a Castle it is a good idea not to do the same thing again. At the start there were annoying people like Viv who had self-sabotaged by running 10 miles before the actual race talking nonsense about not taking the race seriously. This made it very difficult not to go off hard to get away from them, but I was very sensible and took it handy on the gravel path out of the castle so as not to injury my hamstring like last year. When we were out on the road I made a little effort and made sure to get a good bit ahead of Viv.

5. Group Theory

I think that it is very important to find a group in a 10 mile road race. There would be nothing worse than running along the hard shoulder of a national road on your own trying to run a time into a northly wind. I have found that Michael McMahon is the perfect person to run with so I was always going to try and find him which I did. Also joining us were Barry and Tom, a nice little group of four, perfect for sharing the work into the slight northly headwind.

6. A Butterfly Flaps It’s Wings

I think that Barry needs to watch some cycling races on Eurosport. Our little group of four had it’s first test on the incredibly long straight down to the roundabout. Barry was at the front setting the pace, being the nice man that he is Michael McMahon gently went to move past in a non-threatening manner that could only be interpreted as a taking a turn into the wind move especially it being 2 miles into a 10 mile race. Instead, Barry took it as a deadly assault and surged ahead. I shouted at Michael McMahon to let him off, which he listened to, so we left Barry 30m in front of us on his own while we took turns into the wind all the way down to the roundabout by which time we had caught Barry again.

7. Amadán

I think that this was the first time in a race where I have been afraid that a fight might break out mid race. Because of Barry’s fear of being passed, myself and Michael McMahon sat behind Barry for the next three or four miles. Then as we went by the racecourse Barry turns around and says “Will ye ever do some work?”. We were both stunned almost speechless “what did you think I was trying to do earlier you clown” was the rather angry response.

8. Two Angry Men

I think that it was a bad idea to let Barry and Michael McMahon get angry in a race. They are not lacking in motivation in the first place, add anger to the mix and you get two unbeatable machines. After the curious incident of Barry being called a clown, we turned left off the main road and the two lads took off, Michael McMahon sitting right behind Barry to make a point. I was left with Tom who despite doing no work into the wind had avoided being called a clown.

9. Tom

I think it is great that there are a new crop of runners coming through. Donie always seems to capture them for Leevale. I don’t know where he found Tom but he seems very good not quite good enough to catch up to a raging war between Barry and Michael McMahon but good enough to destroy me in the last mile.

10. No Reoccurrence

I think that it was great to get through this race without a reoccurrence of last years hamstring injury in the last mile. I was terrified going past the place where it went last year. I can still remember Damian dancing on by delighted to beat me. I was convinced it would happen again and that Viv would fly by on his 20th mile of the day saying “Well done, keep it up” as he pranced by. Thankfully I had no problems apart from not being able to keep up with Tom. Barry won the war.

Streets of Portlaoise 5k 2023

10 Things I Think About The Streets of Portlaoise 5k 2023

1. Peugeot Series

I think that it’s great that Peugeot have replaced Kia as the sponsor of the race series. I’m unsure if the sponsorship actually works because if I’m at a rental car counter and the rep says Kia or Peugeot the reply is always “Ah no, have you got anything else like say a Volkswagen.” The lead car did look nice, not what you’d expect a Peugeot to look like.

2. Miserable

I think that the weather was particularly miserable for the race. It was a St Patrick’s Day special, incredibly grey, wet but not raining, cold but not cold and humid but not warm. Utterly horrible a day for the pub or perhaps the bookies.

3. Warm Up

I think that my warm up was impacted by Lizzie Lee. She does a very slow warm up, even though she was wearing magic shoes and I wasn’t, I kept having to slow down to run with her. Then she said my time in Tokyo wasn’t great and gave out to me about my blog.

4. No Go

I think that the start of this race felt exactly as you’d expect a 5k would feel 12 days after a marathon. There’s a certain freedom in it all the same, expecting nothing from the race is sort of liberating. I stood care free on the start-line beside Michael Harty afraid to say anything to him because he looked like he was concentrating on the race. The race went off at what felt like a ridiculous pace and I was quickly swamped by the crowd with legs that wished they weren’t running a 5k.

5. All The People, So Many People

I think that it was great that there were so many people in the race. Going through the town the first time around was like a big city marathon with people everywhere. I tried to catch up to Mark Walsh and Michelle Finn but I wasn’t able so I just tried to keep them in sight.  There were a remarkable number of young fellas in the race which was unusual, perhaps running is getting popular again.

6. Not Much I Can Do Here Now

I think that it is very important to be realistic about what is going to happen in a race. After about 2km I started to feel ok like my legs had woken up. I couldn’t actually run any faster but I felt like an airplane that had reached cruising altitude, it was exactly as I expected utterly pointless. I got left in no mans land about 50m behind Michelle Finn to fight the wind on my own.

7. Climate Control

I think that wind is the worst of the climactic conditions that you can encounter in a race. Nothing will derail a potential great PB by me more than a bad wind. There was only a minor wind in Portlaoise but it was bad enough to make the last mile the slowest.

8. Small, Far Away

I think that the straight sections on the course are a little deceptive. On the straights you could be fooled into thinking that you were on for a great PB by me as you could see a small Michael Harty in the far distance and a full size Mark Walsh in the near distance.

9. Vaporfly 3

I think that today is the first time I saw the Vaporfly 3 in the wild in Ireland, they were on the feet of Michelle Finn, you wouldn’t have known unless you were behind her like me and could see the rock catching groove in the new version. They looked very fast and they were used to beat me badly. The arms race continues, the arms race that involves transferring €275 to Nike, Asics and soon probably ON every 3 to 6 months.

10. Palpable Disgust

I think that the finishing area was an interesting sight. It was a collection of confused and disillusioned runners pointing at their watches in disbelief seeking comfort from someone else having run just as bad a time. The only person who seemed pleased naturally enough was the winner Eoin Everard, everyone else had been beaten by the clock, the rain, wind, cold, humidity and slight hill. Never mind the weather might be better next time and if not the cross country will be back soon.

Tokyo Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Tokyo Marathon 2023

1. Mobile Phone

I think that the Tokyo marathon was the most complicated marathon I have ever entered. The Japanese love rules and complications. The main source of stress for this race was that you needed to bring your phone to the start to show them that you didn’t have Covid. We had to log our temperatures the week before and do two antigen tests to get a green light on an app, then scan a QR code to access the start area. I missed the week long period where you could buy a bag drop so I had I had to figure out what to do about the phone. I bought an old phone for €50 off Done Deal and decided I’d figure out what to do with it when I got to the start line.

2. Tik Tok

I think that the start line of the marathon was amazingly quiet. It was surprisingly easy to get up to the front. When I got there all the Japanese runners were sitting down in silence, no chit chat nothing, just silence. It was bizarre. Being unable to stay silent I got talking to an American who should have been in corral C but had snuck into the A corral. He was the first TikTokker I have ever met. TikTokking is very unjapanese and involves shouting into a phone “Tokyo Marathon Baby, Let’s Go, Whooooo”. I don’t know what the Japanese made of it. I thought it was great.

3. Free Phone

I think that it feels very odd throwing away a phone. As the start approached the Japanese stood up and readied themselves for action, I noticed that a lot of them were wearing these round stickers on certain body parts, like KT tape just way smaller and rounder. They have a remarkable ability not to touch anyone, it’s like there is a force field around them, there was no jostling or pushing all very mannerly. I still hadn’t figured out what to do with the phone so I offered it to the TikTokker. “I don’t want your phone man”. So I hid it under a pile of clothes on the raised concrete that divides the dual carriageway and that was the last I saw of it. Off went the confetti gun and away we went.

4. This is Not Right

I think that it would be disrespectful of Japanese culture not to be a little bit ambitious with your pacing in Tokyo. I thought I’d try something like 3:25-3:30/km pace and see how it went, internet calculators said it was possible based on recent results although internet calculators don’t account for zero sleep two nights before the race. After a few kilometres I was on my own with a German guy. He asked me what I was aiming for, sub 2:30 I said. In a uniquely cross German way he replied “you are on 2:26 pace, this is not right”. So I left him go and dropped back a bit.

5. Tidy

I think that tidiness is contagious. I am the complete opposite of Japanese. I’m surprised at the airport they didn’t assign someone to follow me around to clean up after me, perhaps they did and I just haven’t seen him. There are no bins in Japan but the place is spotless. In the race they threatened to disqualify you if you littered. It’s amazing that when everyone else does it you make an effort so at every water station I tried my best to throw my gel wrappers and water cups into the box bins which were in between each table. I think I did a good job and I didn’t get disqualified.

6. Elite Shelter

I think that when you are trying to break 2:30 in the marathon one of the best tactics is to follow the elite women. I saw Lisa Weightman up ahead at around 10k so I decided she would be a good person to pace off. She seemed to think the same about me so for the next 15k or so I had an Australian shadow. In fairness I was probably the best wind shelter in the race. I was a very popular wind shelter and by about 15k I had a big group of mainly Japanese hiding behind me.

7. Gel Belly

I think that arriving in Japan on a Friday evening two days before a marathon is a very bad idea. The jet lag is horrendous and you lose a day of food and sleep. Up until 25k I felt wonderful, then gradual I started to feel tired and almost sleepy. My legs were fine I just had no energy and a belly full of Maurten gels that seemed to be doing nothing. I didn’t blow up, I just gradually got passed by everyone who was sheltering in my shadow.

8. Black Spots

I think that the last three miles of the marathon were very tough. The only consolation was that there were many many Japanese runners to pass even at my reduced pace. I started to see black spots from about 23 miles which was a bit worrying but my legs were ok so I just kept going as best I could. My memory of the last three miles is speckled sort of like old video footage. I don’t know what causes the black spots probably low blood sugar combined with a lack of sleep.

9. Scientists

I think that marathons need to stop finishing on cobbled streets. Why do we need cobbles in marathons, they’re fine when you are running well but horrible when struggling. The last mile of the race is on possibly the only cobbled street in Tokyo. It was an odd experience. There was a big crowd out watching all masked up as is the way in Japan. The Japanese don’t really do cheering so they are just watching you like scientists observing an experiment which is probably what a marathon is anyway. Then you turn left at the end of the cobbled street lined with silent masked people and there’s the finish with the Palace in the background. They give you your medal, bow, ask you to sanitise your hands and give you a mask. All very Japanese, very excellent.

10. Kabuki

I think that the problem with marathons is that there is always a what if, if you run a PB it’s what if I’d gone a bit faster, if you fade it’s what if I’d gone slower. The fellas that run even splits are the most annoying, one of them was Ken Rideout, Viv’s world M50 rival who steamed past me at about 22 miles. When we crossed the finish line I got talking to him mainly about how he was going to crush Viv which I liked and empathised with. I had the mask that the volunteers insisted I wear on. “Take that mask off, I’ve enough of this Kabuki nonsense, I just ran 2:29 at 51 years old” he said which I did. He was dead right but the Kabuki nonsense is also most of the fun of Japan.

Adare 10k 2023

10 Things I Think About The Adare 10k

1. Limerick

I think that I will do more races in Limerick. I’m from Limerick not Cork even if I have spent nearly all my life in Cork. When I started running there were no races in Limerick, then there was the Ballyhoura series and now there are lots.

2. Tiger Woods

I think that Adare is an unusual place. It is like an oasis in a desert of terrible roads, a bizarre place, like someone from Limerick County Council decided to copy Kenmare and got funding from J.P McManus. It is a very good copy, very clean and tidy with a nice golf course and Manor. It would be nice if the race went in around the Manor but I suppose the golf is very important.

3. Late/Elite

I think that it is just as well that I can just about qualify for an elite entry for some local races. I wish that they would call it something other than elite, perhaps “Decent Club Runner Entry” or “Moderate Responder to Training Entry”. The only reason I went for an elite entry is because I missed the normal entry, and it was sold out. I emailed Kevin O’Donoghue with the required evidence of time over 10k and was quickly sorted. Very efficient.

4. Cold

I think that it was sufficiently cold enough in Adare to wear arm warmers without being accused of being a Kipchoge wannabe. Arm warmers are ridiculous looking things and probably completely unacceptable for a 37 year old man from Anglesboro to be seen wearing in public. They do however help when it is cold like in Adare. My ones are €8 from Decathlon so they aren’t as bad as the Nike ones.

5. Numero Uno

I think that Rory Chesser is a good target to have in a race. It helped that he was wearing the number one. I wanted to try and run 32 minutes for 10k and decided that Rory was the 32-minute man. At the start just like in Dungarvan William Maunsell was gone, unlike Dungarvan there was no man in a van tormenting him about a course record after 200m. Niall Shanahan was just off the back with Rory just ahead of my group which contained lots of people like me, some of whom were also wearing arm warmers and all of whom were wearing magic shoes.

6. The First Hill

I think that I did too much work over the first 4k of the race. I could see Rory an annoying distance ahead, I thought John Kinsella would be interested in catching him but he seemed happy to run steady, so I went to the front and tried to catch Rory. It wasn’t too bad as the wind was behind us. I didn’t succeed in catching Rory but I kept the gap the same. Then at 4km we met the first of many small hills and quickly realised that John Kinsella and Declan Moore were much better at running up hills. A gap quickly developed which only Chris Jeuken was able to bridge.

7. An East Wind Blows No Good

I think that was a particularly evil wind in Adare yesterday. It was a very unusual wind, from the east, very cold and very strong. It would have been much better if the wind was from the normal direction. Once we got to 5k the wind started to have an impact. Despite knowing that it would be very bad to get stuck on my own after 5k I got stuck in no mans land just off the back of the Kinsella led group.

8. Thank God for Colm Turner

I think that if it wasn’t for Colm Turner I’d have been a minute slower in the race. He appeared at the perfect time just as we reached the 6k point where we turned into the head wind. He was the perfect person to run with, almost the same height so excellent wind blocking and very good at running downhills. It was perfect and we started to close in on the Rory and Chris group which had become detached from the Kinsella group of two.

9. Chris Look and Go

I think that Chris Jeuken could be a name to watch out for in running. I first met him years ago on a bike, he was an incredible cyclist, the sort of fella you are glad doesn’t run. Now he has started running so we are in trouble. I thought it would be good to beat him, so I was motivated to try. Colm helped greatly to close the gap but as we approached 8k Chris turned looked back saw we had nearly caught up and took off up the road like he wasn’t troubled at all by the pace.

10. Not Able

I think that racing is very hard. Running at a steady pace is lovely, trying to race people is completely different. When Chris took off after detecting our presence, Colm immediately left me and took off after Chris quickly bridging the gap up to Rory and taking Rory with him. It was terrible, it was almost unfair, I was tempted to shout at them to come back it was so ridiculous. I couldn’t comprehend how quickly they dropped me. I was left to run the last kilometre on my own into the wind which was very lonely. Then I saw the finish line in lovely Adare so I did a bit of a sprint for the photos pretending I was racing someone.

Eagle A.C 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Eagle A.C 5 Mile

1. Are You Trying to Win The €250?

I think that Lizzie Lee was definitely trolling me when she asked me the night before the race if I was going for the €250 for the 25:00 course record. It is not a compliment to ask someone if they are going for something that is physically and scientifically impossible.

2. Regular

I think that the best description of John Meade that I have ever read is “Regular winner John Meade”. I really enjoy racing John Meade, particularly now that I can beat him, it is an honour to race (and beat) him, Cork running regular royalty.

3. Deliveroo

I think that I could have an idea for a business after today, a gel delivery service. Imagine an app where you could order a specific gel to be delivered to a specific point at a specific time. I think it would be wonderful. I had to deliver a Citrus High5 gel with caffeine to Lizzie on the line. I was going to kneel down and present it to her but she snapped it out of my hand and downed it before I had the chance.

4. Pat Hennessy

I think that Pat Hennessy ruined the potential showdown between myself and John Meade. At the start Pat Hennessy tore off which was just as well as it lined the field out before we had to pass through the timing gate for a reason I’m uncertain of. I jumped in behind Pat unsure as to whether it was a good idea to follow or not. The Well Done John Meades were immediate so I knew that John Meade was right on my tail.

5. Two Miles Peace

I think that the first two miles of this race are lovely. It is a very nice two miles out the back road towards Ringaskiddy, I just followed Pat Hennessy which was quite difficult and waited until eventually I could no longer hear John Meade’s purple Next%2s. This took about a mile and a half.

6. Let The Hills Begin

I think that this course would make a good cycling race. It has a lot of punchy little climbs. These climbs do not suit me at all at all and I was tremendously vulnerable to an ambush by John Meade who can fly up the short ramps. I have learned over the years not to panic and to not try and follow someone who is not as tall as me on these climbs and to catch them back up on the inevitable downhill. It’s a tricky balancing act but it’s the only way when you have long tanned legs.

7. Outside Shanbally

I think that after three miles of this race I was very happy. We had just left Shanbally and I was suffering majorly trying to hang onto the back of Pat Hennessy. Fortunately we were running downhill into the wind so I was able to keep up. I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to win but I was growing less and less fearful of a John Meade counter insurgency on my second place.

8. Eurosport

I think that Pat Hennessy is a clinical racer. I was very impressed at how he destroyed me on the hill once we turned off the main road out of Shanbally, it was like something you’d see on Eurosport live from Belgium on a Tuesday afternoon in April. He kicked away off up the hill and there was nothing I could do except focus on not letting the gap get too big.

9. Victory in Defeat

I think that the last mile of this race was just flat enough to allow me to fend off John Meade. Pat Hennessy was well gone so at every junction I turned my attention to I counting the time between my passing and the inevitable “Well Done John”. It was at least 20s, he’d have 10s in the finish on me but not 20. The finish took along time to come but it arrived eventually. I was so happy I threw myself on the ground in a heap like I normally do.

10. Hurried Photo

I think that course records are a great idea. For some reason time is very appealing to people especially round numbers. No one really seemed interested in my ferocious battle with John Meade they were only interested in Lizzie and the clock. “Can we take the photo of the top 3 quickly before Lizzie arrives?”. There was plenty time, nearly two minutes. My gel worked.