10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The John Buckley Sports 5k

1. Australia

I think that everyone in Ireland should get a free pair of sunglasses every year like they do in Australia. It would stop people crashing into each other on the South Ring because they can’t see where they are going in the sunshine. I don’t like traffic. It should never take 50 minutes to get from Glanmire to Pairc Uí Caoimh. Sunglasses would fix it. Definitely.

2. Runners World

I think tapering is wonderful. I had to run very little the last few weeks because of my iatrogenic exercise band induced pinchy knee syndrome. I feel really good because of all the tapering. This must be what people are talking about. I still don’t like it though, it doesn’t make sense. It’s like something you’d read in Runners World, “Get Fatter and Run Faster”. If it’s in a magazine it’s nonsense.

3. Rule 3. Never Enter The House Before Running

I think it is a very bad idea to enter the house before going running. I normally never do it because I’m permanently hungry and will end up eating the minute I walk through the door. I go so far as to park in the driveway and get changed in the car to go running, this greatly limits procrastination as there’s only so much you can do in the car. I disobeyed the rule this time and ended up drinking 5 or 6 nespressos and a packet of rice cakes. Always obey the rule.

4. Ryanair

I really really don’t like queues. I think that the BHAA should introduce priority registration, I’d definitely pay extra not to have to stand in a queue. It works for Ryanair, yes people will be annoyed but I will be happy and not have to stand in a queue any more. I didn’t like the look of the length of the queue for the online registration so I joined the much shorter registered runners queue, pleaded ignorance and just jumped across. I didn’t feel guilty, I felt clever.

5. Plumbing

I think the same guys who were responsible for the flood lightning in Pairc Uí Caoimh were responsible for the plumbing. It was bad. Perhaps they’re collecting it to try and revive the old smell.

6. Better the Devil you Don’t Know

I didn’t enjoy the warm up, I saw lots of excellent runners, it seemed like everyone was there, there were even Kerrymen. I don’t like racing people I know because I don’t like having to be nice to them afterwards when they’ve beaten me badly. Plus when they pass you it’s like being passed by a giant time sign, there goes 16:00, there goes 16:30. I prefer Spain.

7. Jellyfish

I think I’m a little bit stupid, but I like the way I am. I got a little bit over excited at the start. I had taken a lot of coffee and my salbutamol. I felt like Mo Farah before London 2012, tingling like I had just hugged a giant jellyfish. It was very stupid. I did have some logic, normally marathon training makes you lazy and lethargic so that full on effort is just the right pace for 5k. I think the tapering made me too fresh. I suppose at least I was winning for a while. I hope Gearóid Ó Laoi got a photo, I was really only there for Instagram.

8. High Tog Value

I think the weather wasn’t as perfect as it looked. The air was very very thick, like bad canteen soup, it definitely contained less oxygen. It was like one of those winter duvets, warm and uncomfortable. It was far from perfect running weather. Someday it’ll be perfect. Someday.

9. The Fallen

I think it’s important to remember the fallen on days like this. Donal has a bad leg, John has a bad knee and Ciaran has a bad tendon. I felt kind of sorry for them as it’s terrible not being able to run a race as good as this, it’s really fantastic, one of the best. I’m lucky to be so good at minding myself.

10. Marathon

I think it was a good idea to get all of the stupidity out of my system before the marathon. I think I will be less stupid for the marathon. My knee is getting more perfect every day. I think I’ll try and follow Cathal O’Connell around for the day, I don’t think he knows this but there’s nothing he can do about it. I think it’s a good plan.