10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About the III Carrera de la Prensa (Malaga)

1. Lo Malo

I think I really like the song Lo Malo, it’s excellent, they play it everywhere in Spain, it’s the new despacito, very Spanish, it means bad. I knew about it from Valencia because I shazamed it when I heard it on the street and have it on my Spotify playlist ever since. Maria was very impressed on the city walk that I knew it. I learned lots on the city walk from Maria. Mazmorras, Ardillas and Alcazabas. It was an excellent city walk. John Meade agreed.

2. Everybody Loves Raymond

I think it was a very good bad idea to go out the night before a race in Malaga. Ray, John’s new hero, liked shots. He really really liked shots. I normally don’t drink shots but I think it would have offended Ray not to drink the shots. Ray was from Leixlip. There appears to be a great Leixlip tradition of buying a sneaky round of shots to accompany each round of normal drinks. Shots are not good for running. Say no to Ray.

3. Are Those My Legs?

I think Donal and John were very impressed that I got up for the race. I think I’m genetically superior at processing alcohol to them. I was still quite bad in the morning, but possibly in that elusive sweet spot between drunk and hungover. The warm up was very short, one mile, my running felt much more uncoordinated than normal. My knee was really really bad, not pinchy bad just general badness, my head was super bad, every step hurt twice. In general I was very bad, possibly superbad.

4. Pink Clad Lad

I think there should be more pink running singlets available for sale. I bought an excellent pink Joma singlet in the best running shop in Malaga on Saturday. Pink is an excellent colour for running, it’s almost as good as purple or yellow. Pink is really good at amplifying your tan on Instagram especially if you use a good filter. I think that we should get pink away Leevale singlets made up for away races, ones outside Cork, we could raise money for breast cancer research. I think it’s a good idea, one of my better ones, not a mad one.

5. Jordan Peterson

I think the Spaniards were very intimidated by my dancing at the start line. I did lots of jumping even though it was hurting my knee and my head. The DJ was playing excellent music and I like jumping because it makes me look even taller. Aside from John and Conor there was only one Spanish guy who looked really really fast. He looked like I think I look.

6. Parcours

I don’t think I’ve ever run such a fantastic course. The route was a point to point, like the railway run I didn’t finish. It started outside a big football stadium like the railway run I didn’t finish. From the start it went up a slight drag then out to a carefully precisely placed cone. Once we rounded the cone we were running back towards the city centre. The last mile of the race was right through the narrow freshly washed marble streets of Malaga. It’s such a great feeling running through narrow streets filled with people, it made me forget about my bad knee and bad head. Unlike the railway run, I finished this one. Pain is temporary, sprinting through the historic narrow streets of Malaga with a hangover and a bad knee is forever.

7. Martin Storey not Larry O’Gorman

I think John’s joke was lost on Los Malagueños. Like the small cunning fox that he is John registered Conor as Martin Storey. It was quite funny, although probably not worthy of the Mr Burns style laughing of John. The magic machine that called out your name as you crossed the finish line was probably a lot more comfortable with Martin Storey than Conor McCauley.

8. El Segundo

I think it is a great pity that John Meade was unable to catch the guy that looked like I think I look like. He came very close. The guy that I think I look like took off at the start at a Spanish pace, at least 2:40/km. John and Conor sat back because that’s how Cork people race. When I saw them at the precisely placed cone they were about 10th well adrift. The guy that I think I look like had a gap of at least 30 seconds. By the finish John was only a second behind in second, Martin was third. As a result they both got to stand on the podium. There was no podium for 13th. I didn’t mind as I got to do Instagram stories. I only win in Austria anyway which is still my favorite win.

9. Ask Me No Questions I Won’t Tell You No Lies

I think I was very worried about my knee after the race. It was very bad, way worse than my hangover. I think the awful football match in the sunny football stadium might have cured it though. On the walk out of the stadium after the match I felt something electrical run up and down my leg and with that my knee was instantly better. I was even able to run 5 miles in the evening and 14 on Monday. La Rosaleda could be like a Lourdes for injured runners, my knee seems to be perfect since, I wasn’t looking for a miracle.

10. Bono Estente

I think I learned a lot from this race. I learned that a bad knee is probably a worse impediment than a bad hangover. I learned that perfect preparation really doesn’t matter that much if you want to run and enjoy a race. I don’t think I’ll look back when I’m very old like John and think “I wish I didn’t do those shots in Malaga”. I wish I had a more competitive nature, perhaps this was my non-competitive debut.