10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The Rebel Run 10k

1. Pink Panther

I think that Pink Vaporflys are my favourite shoes ever. They are so amazing, I love Nike. Nike are brilliant, a great company. Everyone should buy them.

2. Cross Country Related Badness

I think that cross country badness is a special type of badness. It is very bad badness, it's not the deep badness you get from a marathon, it's very different. It's like the badness you get when you play GAA and you go back training in February, all of your muscles hurt on the outside and it won't go away. The badness was still there this morning. Nike would want to hurry up and invent a cross country version of the Vaporfly, we could test them on the courses in Cork, like how Toyota bring their cars over to test them on the bad roads.

3. Sold Out

I think that sold out races are great, it stops people who don't own iPhones like John Meade from entering. The words limited entry, race and t-shirt seem to be irresistible to people with phones and credit cards. I suppose it's a good sign that there are lots of people running. Running is excellent.

4. Brooks Ghost

I think I felt sorry for my Brooks Ghosts after the warm up, they really are great shoes but they are very heavy and not pink. It was a sad moment when I returned to the car after warming up with Chris. I untied the Brooks Ghosts and threw them into the boot of the car. Then I removed the beautiful magnificent expensive Pink Vaporflys from their silky white Nike bag and put them on. It felt bad, sort of like how it must feel to have your first blood transfusion or inject that first IU of EPO.

5. Bouncy Bouncy

I think that the Vaporflys are a lot more like a blood transfusion than EPO. With EPO you'd have to wait a few days or weeks for the EPO to help make the red blood cells. The Vaporflys are a lot more like a blood transfusion in that you just put them on and you immediately feel very bouncy. The first few steps at full speed are incredible, your feet spring off the ground like you are wearing springs on your feet, it's definitely more the foam than the carbon plate, the foam is so so bouncy.

6. The Loneliness of the Cheating Runner

I think that it was a very lonely race. Because of my shoe doping I was on my own from the very start. I imagine it looked like one of those cycling races where an unknown fella riding for an Italian team with lots of sponsors turns up doped to the eyeballs puts it in the big ring and rides away up a mountain. I wished that there was someone a bit better than me there, like a John Meadeque runner so that I could test the cheaterflys properly. I just followed the big Jeep in front, I didn't look at the watch because when you're wearing Pink Vaporflys you know you're going fast.

7. No More Hills

I think that the best thing about shoe doping is that much like EPO it makes hills far far easier. In normal non cheating shoes hills are problematic and slow you down as you have to spring up them yourself using your achilles tendon and calf muscle. In Pink Vaporflys you just spring and bounce up them, it is definitely my favourite thing about them apart from the colour.

8. Niggles

I think that I spent most of the race worrying that a part of my body was going to be terribly injured by the Pink Vaporflys. I wear insoles that I got in a special place in Belgium because I have a hideous right ankle and a horrible history of stress fractures. The special insoles for the Vaporflys didn't arrive in time so I just wore them as is. I felt lots of potential injuries over the course of the 10k, the cross country badness wasn't noticeable but my left calf and right plantar fascia were alternating between cranky and happy, there was also a subtle undertone of pinchy knee.

9. Feels

I think that one of the reasons that Pink Cheaterflys make people way faster is that towards the end of races when you should be tired they keep you running in an upright position as they tilt you forward and make you pick your legs up. I've never experienced an end of a race where I felt so good. Normally I'm stuck to the ground like a mad lumbering monster. While I felt good I really really wanted the race to be over so I could take the shoes off and put them back in their white silky bag.

10. It's Not About The Shoe

I think that I'm conflicted about the Pink Cheaterflys. They are so so much fun to run in. They allow you to win local 10ks when no one else can enter because the race is sold out. They make you look fantastic because they’re Pink and have a pointy bit at the back. They allow you to run 10k PBs on your own with bad legs from cross country but they really are cheating. I don't see how it's any different to doping, it's cheaper, less painful and more effective. At least with EPO and blood transfusions you have to suffer a bit. I suppose if it's legal it's not doping. It just doesn't feel right.