10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The Cork County Senior Cross Country 2021

1. The Day is Gone

I think that 3pm is a wonderfully terrible time for a race to start. No one ever runs at 3pm in the day, not even teachers, if you looked on Strava it is probably the least popular time for anyone to run. My body always feels terrible at 3pm. Today was no different, nothing to do with the marathon.

2. Gold Medal Walk

I think that walking around a farmer’s field just outside Macroom with an Olympic gold medalist is not something you expect to do before a cross country race. I spent most of the walk trying to convince Paul O’Donovan that medicine is an awful career and that pharmacy is much better. He hates emails though so he probably wouldn’t like my job.

3. Make a Move

I think that Bernard’s comment about making a move in a cross country race is one of the most ridiculous delusional comments I have ever heard before a race. No one makes a move in a cross country race, it is a gradual process where everyone just gradually slows down, any changes in position are due to reductions in pace, not increases.

4. Hairbands

I think that the highlight of my day came just before the start. I was showing the Olympic gold medalist my hairband that I got from China off Amazon which he was very impressed by. A lovely woman came over to us and said, “would you mind coming over and saying hello to my daughter”. Naturally, I assumed that she was talking to the man with the gold medal, not the similarly hairy but entirely talentless lump. “She’s a big fan of your blog”. So off I went leaving Paul solo and fanless.

5. Durometer Score

I think that the start of this race was too fast. The ground was ridiculously hard for a cross-country race. It was like a hilly track race that suited all the track runners not the traditional cross country lumpers like me. I had 12mm spikes installed and on the section of the course that was like the sweeping turns on a Formula 1 track you could hear the spikes hitting the rocks. It definitely needed more water.

6. The Old White Dragonfly Test

I think that every cross country course should be certified beforehand by getting someone to run flat out wearing a pair of Nike Dragonflys. If they complete a lap of the course without breaking their ankle then the course should be made more twisty, cows walked around the field and water poured onto the course. This should continue until the Dragonflys are impossible to wear.

7. Motivated Meade

I think that John Meade’s performance today was entirely focused on beating me. I felt personally targeted by him. I was very suspicious when he said that he was turning up as he normally comes up with some ridiculous excuse to avoid having to be beaten by me. I was well ahead of him for around a lap which isn’t a lot when there are 7 laps. The second time up the huge hill Meade surged ahead viciously, I passed him again on the flat section before the little steep sweeping hills but he made the killer move by surging even more viciously the third time up the massive hill. After that, I had to watch his white singlet gradually get further and further away.

8. Motivated Mikey

I think that Michael Herlihy’s performance today was entirely focused on beating me. It was exactly the same as the experience with Meade except without the surging on the hills as Mike is the only person worse than me at going uphill. It did take until about 5km into the race for him to catch me which at least probably caused him some mental distress which is at least something.

9. Vocal Togher

I think that Togher gave me too much credit. Once I had been dispatched my Meade and Mike I settled into a group with a few Togher runners, the Togher support on the course was very vocal, the most vocal. Being an ex-Togher member I’m surprised that they thought that I would be any threat at all. “Stick with him, you’ll get him at the finish” was far more complimentary than I deserved. In the end, I didn’t even stick with them long enough to be any threat in the finish and all of the Togher lads beat me badly. It didn’t really matter as there were about a million Leevale athletes in the race so we won the team event.

10. A Little Boy Has Been Found

I think that the guy with the mic must be a Father Ted fan. The “A little boy has been found” followed by “the little boy is crying” and then “we have taken control of the little boy” was almost line by line from the Funland episode. It must be on purpose, there’s no other explanation. It’s a pretty special event, no wonder Paul O’Donovan wanted to run it. It was a great day out, plus it’s not every day you get to beat an Olympic Gold medalist badly.