10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The Churchtown South 4 Mile

1. Six Years Later

I think that it is a terrible shame that the Ballycotton 5 Mile series doesn’t exist anymore. It was the greatest road race series ever by miles. It is six years since the last one in 2017. Looking back at the results makes you realise how utterly pointless training is. 6 years ago I finished just ahead of Viv, Donal Coffey and Kieran McKeown in 27:09. Using the world renowned scientifically validated and calibrated Michael Herlihy Magic Shoe Equation I have gotten precisely no better possibly worse depending on the mood of Michael Herlihy.

2. Excessive Greatness

I think that the Ballycotton area might too great an area for road races. A lot of other people seemed to have similar fond memories of the old series, not fond enough to enter online but fond enough to turn up on the night old style with €12. Parking was in a different field to the last time, it’s amazing how you can remember parking fields from races nearly 6 years ago.

3. East Cork Mafia

I think that you are always guaranteed a good race in East Cork Country. East Cork A.C is like when you play Championship Manager for too many seasons, and it starts making up players to replace the ones that have stopped playing. Tony Forristal is basically like the computer regenerated Sean McGrath. On the start line it was a sea of maroon singlets. Once we got underway the wrong way around the 5 mile route I was surrounded by the maroon of Tony, James McCarthy and Brian Harty.

4. The Van

I think that as part of an Athletics Ireland race license it should be mandatory to have a lead van with commentary and Donie Walsh sitting in the back of the van watching the race. On commentary duty for Churchtown South was the totally unbiased Michael Harty.

5. Murder She Wrote

I think that the great thing about having a commentary van is that you find out things about the place that you wouldn’t know otherwise. Michael Harty is a great commentator. He kept us well up to date on the gaps to the people behind and provided nuggets of local wisdom like that the house at the two mile mark with the spectacular views of the sea was Angela Lansbury’s house.

6. Million Dollar View

I think that you should have to pay an extra €2 entry fee for the view between miles two and three. It is an amazing course with views better than Achill or Dingle Half Marathons. The views are made better by the grass running down the middle of the road. You’d nearly forget that you are in a race with East Cork lads that you’d love to beat only for Michael Harty reminding you that Tony Forristal has made a move and the race is on.

7. Local Knowledge

I think that Tony Forristal used either local knowledge or the phone he was holding in his hand to open the decisive gap. It was on the section of natural beauty that he made his move. After possibly checking his phone, he chose a section with grass in the middle meaning that you could only follow behind and not side by side. As the gap gradually opened from a Michael Harty measured distance of 5m to 15m I realized that while I was losing contact to Tony I was opening a small proportional gap to James McCarthy.

8. Excellent Road Surface

I think that I was nearly too happy to be in second place. As we turned sharp right back onto the old first mile of the 5 mile route but in reverse I was about 10 seconds off Tony but 5 ahead of James which was an acceptable state of affairs. All of a sudden, the road surface became excellent which is unusual for East Cork. Michael Harty told us we had about 4 minutes of running left which seemed like a long time to have to stay ahead of James McCarthy.

9. So Predictable I Know

I think that it was probably impossible to beat James McCarthy with only a 5 second gap with 800m to go. I got to 400m to go still in second still about 10 seconds behind Tony. Then Michael Harty uttered the words 400m to go which seems to be James McCarthy’s trigger word. I did my best slow-motion sprinting but with 200m to go James appeared on my right shoulder and drifted by gradually opening a two second gap at the line. Two seconds is better than three seconds in Fermoy I suppose.

10. SuperValu

I think that the prizes for the race were amazing. When you come third in a race you wouldn’t be expecting much, maybe a few euro more than the entry back or if you are in Kerry a set of plates with cows painted on them. I’m beginning to think that I got the wrong prize, a €100 SuperValu gift card seems very generous plus a race logo embroidered Under Armour hat. Let’s just hope it doesn’t get too successful again, I could do with a few more SuperValu gift cards given the price of tofu these days.