10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The Tracton 4 Mile 2024

1. Basically Carrigaline

I think that despite racing in Tracton twice I still couldn’t find it on a map. Google maps has extreme difficulty with Tracton, my blind faith in technology took us on a google maps special route through the maze of roads near Kinsale that no local would ever take. Then on the way back I realized that it is only a few new housing estates away from being swallowed by Carrigaline which would be a great pity as it is a lovely quiet mysterious place.

2. No Viv, No Meade, No Jeremy

I think that it was a great pity that of the top five from last year only myself and Mark Walsh returned. I particularly enjoyed beating John Meade and Jeremy in the race last year and I was close enough to Viv to have caused him great distresss which is my primary goal in a race. Instead of the three lads I was left with only Michael McMahon as a likely rival, I went as far as driving him to the race so desperate was I to have someone to potentially beat.

3. Lots of Leevale

I think that there were too many Leevale in the race. I was expecting Mark Walsh to return as the reigning champion, but I was not expecting both Nate and Gavin to turn up. The problem with having the three of them together is that they feed off each other so there was no hope for a return visit to the podium no matter how hard I tried. I resigned myself to a battle with Michael McMahon for my usualth position of fourth and first person with no prize.

4. Integrated Warm Up

I think that races like Tracton where the warmup is built into the race are a great idea. There really isn’t much need for a long warm up as the jog up the kilometre long 20% gradient hill to the start is enough to be ready for any race. I jogged up with Michael McMahon and reached the summit unusually early for a start for me. I had time for many photos with my Leevale enemies who for once were all wearing the same lovely singlets which looked excellent and very intimidating on the clearly marked PopUpRaces startline.

5. Check Up

I think that after 400m of this race I was considering going straight to the doctor for a check up. My three Leevale enemies took off up the first of many hills at a frightening pace, they were so far ahead that the only logical explanation could be a serious illness and not a serious lack of running ability. Cementing my thoughts that I was coming down with a serious illness Michael McMahon took off after the three Leevale singlets leaving me well behind as we began the first of the countless hills.

6. Canarian Invader

I think that it is great when runners from other countries turn up to local Cork road races. It allows me to know what the local Spanish runners are thinking when I turn up to a local road race in rural Andalusia. What they are thinking is how dare he turn up to my race and reduce my chances of finishing in my usual fourth place. Tracton welcomed Edwin a trail runner from Tenerife who was right at home over the first two miles of Tracton which goes only upwards sort of like a Cork version of Mount Teide with out the risk of volcanic eruption.

7. Fourth Place King of the Mountains

I think that having run the course last year gave me a great advantage over Michael McMahon and the Canarian Invader. I knew that my only chance of victory in the race for fourth place was to get to the top of the mountain at two miles first before I could use my downhill falling ability to stay ahead. I succeeded in my plan and could even see the back of the Leevale singlet of Mark Walsh in third place by the time we reached the summit.

8. Demonic Descent

I think that my descent off Mount Tracton was not as good as last year. Last year I was with Mark Walsh and used him to get a gap on John Meade and Jeremy. This year I had no one to chase as my three Leevale colleagues were desperate to be as far away from me as possible. I had to motivate myself with the thoughts of another finishing straight defeat by Michael McMahon which seemed terrible and very likely given that he hates being beaten by me almost as much as Viv and John Meade.

9. Ominous Drums

I think that the straight road before the final downhill run to the finish in Tracton is more demoralising than the straight road in the Cork Marathon. I could feel myself getting slower and slower as I made my way along the never ending straight. The feeling of getting slower was made worse by the combination of the ominous sound of drums in the distance combined with the ever-increasing sound of Michael McMahon getting closer and closer. It was an apocalyptic scene. Ah well I thought, at least I won’t end up fourth.

10. 1,2,3,4

I think that my issues with finishing fourth are very similar to the problems with artificial intelligence. An artificial intelligence system is only as good as how it is trained. I am trained exceptionally well to finish fourth so that is what I do. I got to the ominous drums without being passed by Michael McMahon and the significantly quieter Canarian. The last 400m of the course are perfectly designed for my abilities so I crossed the line victorious in fourth and happy to have at least beaten Michael McMahon which means I probably would have beaten Viv too. Nate emerged victorious from the properly trained Leevale trio making it a Leevale 1,2,3,4.