Cobh 10 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cobh 10 Mile

1. The Great Wind Island

I think that the winner of the race today was the wind. The wind was a great wind, an unusual wind, it was very strong, it was big, it was consistent, and it brought no rain. I heard a lot of negative things being said about the wind, if I were the wind, I would be extremely upset at what was said about me out on the course.

2. Rest Day

I think that I will never again take a rest day before a race. I said I’d try it as everyone seems to think that tapering is great. The wind on Saturday made it easy to do no running as it was even windier than today. I ran no miles on Saturday even though there was nothing wrong with me which makes no sense to me. I expected to wake on Sunday morning feeling like a fella who drives a Tesla after two weeks of restful holidaying in Center Parcs. Instead the rest day did nothing, if anything I felt worse that normal, even the combination of coffee and beetroot shots didn’t work.

3. Never Judge a Startlist by its Contents

I think that it was scandalous altogether that all the better runners than me were allowed enter after the entries had closed at 1000 people. The published start list looked very promising for a potential top 4 finish, John Meade, Barry Twohig and Anthony Forristal seemed to be the likely 1,2,3 so I was hoping for my usual 4th place finish and a few bob. I was absolutely horrified to arrive at the start line and see numbers that went over 1000. What made it worse was that every person with a number over 1000 was a very good runner with far more talent than I have. It was very unfair on me.

4. The Fast Two Miles

I think that the hardest job today must have been pacing. On a calm day the Cobh 10 route would be hard to judge but with the great wind it must have been next to impossible, even an AI robot would have had difficulty calculating the splits required. The race went began with two miles with the great wind behind us. They were also downhill miles which made them very fast. The late entries group plus Anthony Forristal took off at a Sean Tobin course record breaking pace. I was left with the group that entered the race before the deadline. We went through two miles bang on 10 minutes which was about as good as the race got from a Strava bar graph point of view.

5. Alp Du Cobh

I think that the geography of Cobh is unusual. It is an extremely hilly island, very similar to Achill in that it has great wind and great climbs. After the first two miles the Strava bar chart took a steep drop, the beetroot juice stopped working, the wind started blowing and the road went up and up. The first hill before three miles is probably the worst on the course. It destroys average pace, destroys it and makes ones Strava look terrible. I just about got up it on in contact with Barry and John who climb like sherpas compared to my elephant like efforts.

6. Hatred Acid

I think that the combination of the great wind, the great hills and constantly being destroyed by John Meade and Barry every time the road titled upwards generated excessive hatred. On Youtube influencers use €400 lactic acid testers to test their lactate so they can put numbers they don’t understand on Strava and sell stuff to people with too much money. I think I might develop a similar hatred tester, a simple prick of the ear to test the blood for hatred. There is probably a hatred inflection point too where the hatred becomes too much for the body to process like happened to me today just after mile 5. I’m not sure what you would do with the data but sure everyone loves data.

7. Sports Psychologist

I think that the next big thing will be in race psychologist calls. It’s only a matter of time. I would definitely have paid money for someone to talk to me from mile 6 to mile 8. The wind, the straight road, the John Meade disappearing up the road with the other fella I don’t know wearing AlphaFlys. It was torture. I needed to phone a friend and have them talk to me and tell me I can do it. Instead I was swimming in a sea of hatred acid with a horrible wind pushing me further and further away from John Meade.

8. The Rugby Match

I think that the worst part of the great wind was the turn just after mile 8. It was cruel, like a trick. I ran down the steep hill full of hope thinking that once I turned the corner the great wind would blow me back to Cobh. Unfortunately the shape of the great island meant that the great wind was a full on headwind for that crucial ninth mile. When I rounded the corner it was like the wind turned into a giant second row rugby player and stood me up preventing any further forward progress. Then to make it worse Barry Twohig came flying by like he was running in a different climate.

9. The Final Straw

I think that the last mile of the race was wonderful. If all the other miles had been like mile 1, 2 and 10 we would have been fine and all broken the course record. The race organisers should make that happen next year, they could either turn the island around or run the course in the opposite direction. I would have been very fast on mile 10 too but just as I started it I came down with a case of exploding toe nail which meant that I couldn’t be bothered trying to chase Barry so I jogged home, I slowed down even more when I saw that we were miles outside the most important metric in 10 mile running, the 55 minute cut off for being included in John Walshe’s list of almost good runners.

10. The Last Leg Hurter

I think that the Cobh 10 is the only race left that is brave enough to leave in the hills. Even though I’m terrible at the hills I love the hills, especially mad Cobh hills. It’s like returning to the good old days of Ballycotton, with wind, hills, sunshine, sore legs and a nice race mug at the end. The atmosphere in the town at the end is worth suffering for, just maybe dial down the wind a little and close the entries just after I enter so that I can win or maybe come 4th, that would be perfect.

Shanagarry 5 Mile 2017

10 Things I Think About The Shanagarry 5 Mile Road Race

1. Club Shades

I think that club sunglasses are a money making opportunity. Last night I wore yellow framed sunglasses I bought in Ale-Hop in Malaga for €10. They matched my Leevale singlet perfectly or so Donal Coffey tells me.

2. Mileage Matters

I think it's a sign of madness when you worry that your 2 mile warm up is going to affect your weekly mileage because you normally run 10 miles a day and 2+5+2.5=9.5. I did 3 for the warm down just in case Strava wasn't happy. I like smooth graphs.

3. Marathon

I think that a positive effect of the marathon is that I'm not scared of blowing up in a race. If I finished a marathon I can surely hang on for 30 minutes flat out no matter what the pace. The marathon is also an excellent excuse for everything. "Ah sure you're only after a marathon." "You can't be recovered"

4. Start

I think that the starts of Ballycotton races are perfect, no nonsense music or random speeches by the local bishop, just a gun and some paint on the road.

5. Aerodynamics

I think the Leevale singlet needs a mid season aerodynamic upgrade package. It's very flappy. It catches the wind, I blame it for at least 5 seconds. That and the big huge A4 number. There would be no sub two hour marathon run in a Leevale singlet with a Ballycotton number no matter how many Teslas you had in front of you.

6. Fight Night

I don't think I've ever had a mid race fight before. I had a minor disagreement with Kieran Mckeown. He had come down with a serious case of ancraophobia. I've never seen someone with such a bad case. He was so scared of it, he had to hide behind someone all the way, I seemed to be the preferred object to hide behind as I'm huge. I suppose the wind is kind of scary and I do provide excellent protection. I'm definitely not an ancraophobe.

7. The Diamond League

I think it's a bit ridiculous to be racing, surging and wheel sucking when you're running along in 5th to 10th place miles behind the leaders in a small road race in East Cork. The Diamond League it ain't. It is fun to pretend I suppose. I did lose the battle and end up 10th so I probably need to get clever at racing and not just tow everyone around sheltering behind me like a big wind breaking fool.

8. Insanity

I think road racing is a form of insanity. I've been running the Shanagarry 5M since 2009 and my times have been 28:30 +\- 30 seconds. That's a lot of training and mileage for the same statistical result. Statistically speaking there is no significant difference between 2009 and 2017. Ah well I suppose it's fun. Insanity generally is.

9. Ooooh Look at Him

I think I impressed the local kids with my shades. All I heard coming back into Shanagarry was "Ooooh, look at him" and "buzzzzz", I don't know if this was horror or admiration but I presume it was the lovely yellow sunglasses which were matching my singlet.

10. The Choke Tackle

I think my version of the choke tackle on Kieran McKeown immediately after the race was a bad idea. I was only messing. I hope it wasn't taken too seriously. It's only a race after all, a bit of stress relief. There are far far more important things.