Allihies 5 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Allihies 5 Mile 

1. To Allihies or to Galway 

I think that if it wasn’t for the disease that is my chronic lateness I would have ended up running a cross country race in Galway today. I have terrible trouble with being on time for things, I’m invariably at least five minutes late for everything. Add in a little bit of jet lag and getting to Galway for 12:30 became an impossible task so off to Allihies we went.

2. Toyota Corolla

I think that Google Maps needs to factor in Toyota Corolla’s in its calculation of how long it is going to take to get to Allihies. It is a very long drive from Glanmire, the road is fine until you turn off at Béal na Bláth then the Toyota Corolla’s of various vintages start. The first one was a grey one like John Meade used to drive, it was tolerably slow but went a long way along the road to Allihies before finally turning off left, only to be replaced immediately from the next cross roads by a 99 faded red Corolla that just about got around each bend. As we got closer to Allihies the Corolla’s were replaced by tractors. 

3. Michael McMahon

I think that Michael McMahon must think that I was playing games with him. I had told him during the week that there was a race in Allihies that he should do. He said he’d think about it. I said I definitely wouldn’t be there as I was going to Galway. While we were stuck behind one of the Corolla’s who did I see in the mirror only Michael McMahon. I’m sure he had the same mixed thoughts of well at least I have some one to warm up and cool down with but do I really have to race him.

4. So Good You Do it Twice 

I think that the course in Allihies is amazing. It must be one of the best road race circuits in the world. There is nothing like it anywhere, it is fabulously mad. It is made up of two, two and a half mile laps like the old Churchtown South race in Ballycotton. There are no flat sections, it is either uphill or downhill like a cross country course. The scenery is Icelandic, viciously beautiful especially on a sunny day with no wind. It would look great on TV. 

5. No Hanging About

I think that racing Michael McMahon was always going to be fun. At the start about 50m outside the town we both took off like mad lunatics with no regard for the course or distance in a way that would have tormented Michael Herlihy if he had of been there. The first mile is half sweeping uphill bends followed by a beautiful downhill section facing out over the bay. Michael took the lead and didn’t look like he was ever going to surrender it. I felt terrible, a mixture of jetlag and tiredness from driving behind Corolla’s for two hours. 

6. Dangerous Downhill

I think that the pace at which Michael McMahon went downhill in this race was frightening. I have never seen anything like it. I am normally the best in any race at going downhill as I have that perfect mix of height, heaviness and madness. Following Michael McMahon downhill off the cliffs of Allihies was what I imagine it must have been like for the guys in the Tour De France trying to follow Tom Pidcock off the Col Du Galibier. It was terrifying and safer to be watching on TV.

7. False Flat

I think that I knew I had a chance once we reached the second mile of the race where we encountered the only part of the course that is remotely flat. It is still probably a 1-2% gradient but it looks relatively flat. Because of Michael’s wreckless descending he was getting a gap on me everytime we went downhill but on the “flat” section by a field where a farmer was attempting to turn rocks into grass I started to close the gap.

8. Maybe

I think that this race evolved the complete opposite way to every other race I have been in. Normally in a race like this I would get a gap on people on the downhill and they would close on me on the uphill. But in this race it was like I had metamorphosed like Chris Froome from someone who can’t climb to the best climber in the world. Hills were my friend for once. Maybe it was my day.

9. Definitely Maybe

I think that after the first lap I had a good idea of what I needed to do. I couldn’t get ahead of Michael on the first lap no matter what I did but as we ran back up through the town with it’s lovely multicoloured houses I knew that he was going to be vulnerable on the climb to the finish as normally I would get dropped on any gradient. He led all the way until the four mile mark when I briefly took over on the false flat section before being immediately overtaken on the downhill section.

10. Alto de Allihies

I think that more races should finish on vicious climbs like this one. They do it on purpose in cycling. You can’t see the finish at the bottom of the last 100m ramp up to the finish it is so steep. As we approached the town Michael was still leading having re-opened the gap on the last of the mad descents. Then as we commenced the climb home I started to close in, with 800m to go I made my move. Just like Chris Froome in that breakthrough Tour De France I unexpectedly increased my cadence before flying up the vicious slope to appear at the top victorious. There is no drug testing in Allihies.

Golden Gate Park XC 2022

10 Things I Think About The Golden Gate Park XC

1. Golden Gate Park

I think that a cross country race in Golden Gate Park sounds fabulous. It sounds like it would be amazing with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background and lots of fog. In reality it was great but for different reasons than you would expect. Golden Gate Park is pretty much the Phoenix Park in San Francisco and you can’t see the Golden Gate Bridge but it’s very nice and great for running.

2. Thirsty

I think that it is questionable as to whether you should be allowed to call a race a cross country race if it hasn’t rained in the preceding 6 months. San Francisco is thirsty, parched, yet the park is deceptively green due to the sprinklers which are everywhere so perhaps they get a pass for that.

3. Shoe Choice

I think that I didn’t bring enough shoes with me. Normally when you are going to a cross country race you bring only spikes. The only choice is how long your spikes are. American cross country appears to be very different as spikes are almost redundant. Concrete was the problem on this course, back home it would have been covered in fake grass but here it was just left as is with no thought for the Irishman who likes pure proper cross country. As it turns out I had the perfect shoe for the course but it was back home in Cork the New Balance 1400. All I was left with was a choice between a pair of Dragonflys with spikes and evil cheating Vaporflys.

4. Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

I think that wearing Vaporflys in a cross country race is an immoral act. It’s no longer illegal which is terrible but it is still very wrong. I really had no choice for this race as spikes would have been dangerous with the concrete and not ending up in an American hospital with a broken leg was one of my main goals. I felt so guilty lining up on the startline but then I looked around and most people had some sort of super shoe on. I suppose if everyone else is doing it it’s not really cheating.

5. Pre Race Ra Ra

I think that if Irish cross-country teams started doing pre race hype chants like some of the American teams did before this race they would be run out of the field. I can just imagine North Cork AC led by Michael Herlihy before the County Senior chanting “Two, four, six, eight/ Who do we appreciate?” It just wouldn’t work, it would be funny but it wouldn’t work. It even looked ridiculous in San Francisco, like something you’d see in an Adam Sandler movie but I suppose when your team is called the Aggies it can’t get much worse.

6. Sprinklers

I think that over zealous sprinklers ruined the course from a Vaporfly point of view. If it wasn’t for the wet and slippy downhill 400m stretch just after the start Vaporflys would have been perfect. It was so wet it looked like it had rained which it hadn’t. Unfortunately, Vaporflys are terrible on mud. I had taken the start handy anyway but being faced with 400m of slippy downhill mud in the first mile of the race made my start even worse. I ended up way back, miles behind the pre-race chant inspired Aggies, maybe they are onto something?

7. Standards

I think that the standard in this race was very high. I had wondered where all the American runners were as any road race I have been to has had a shocking standard. Now I know, they all run these USATF races which are like races back home. Unusually most of the runners were way younger than me, I was probably the oldest person there. I wish we had races like this at home all of the time, I don’t mind finishing nowhere as long as the standard is high.

8. Singletrack Sand

I think that my favourite part of the course was the section of sandy single track about after about a mile of the two mile lap. It came just after a wide-open green grass section so you could make a big effort on the open plain and then no one could pass you for the next 200m. It was also uphill and sandy so it increased the suffering. I would like more sections like this in cross country courses, at least we got to do it twice in this race. Vaporflys appear to be good on sand.

9. Uphill Gravel

I think that my next favourite part of the course was the brown uphill gravelly grass section after the sandy single track. You could take a little rest on the single track and then using your Vaporflys bounce up the hard brown gravel path up to the highest point on the course under the big American looking trees. I thought I was making great progress but I was still nowhere with loads of young fellas and Aggies ahead of me.

10. Celebration

I think that the greatest thing about a race like this is that because there is so much depth there is always someone to race. It reminded me of the All Ireland Novice just in America, it was even the same distance. Unlike the Novice I had no team to run for but that didn’t stop me wanting to beat and torment people. As we came into the finishing straight, I could hear someone catching me so I sprinted all out, I even looked over my left and right shoulder to see where he was, then when I kept him behind I did the finger wagging celebration across the line, for 29th place. Small victories, big celebrations. I must remember to do that the next time I beat Viv or John Meade.

* Yes this was the day after the half marathon, I felt fine which worringly makes me think I could get away with this more often.

Oaktown Half Marathon 2022

10 Things I Think About The Oaktown Half Marathon

1. Oakland

I think that I was unnecessarily scared of Oakland. I had heard many terrible things about Oakland. I was picturing some sort of post apocalypse streetscape with barriered up shops, sort of like a bad dangerous North Main Street. The only thing that made me think it might be ok was that the race was starting at 7am. Sure nowhere is bad at 7am, is it?

2. Parking

I think that the main thing I was scared about in Oakland was parking the car. I had numerous warnings “leave absolutely nothing visible in the car, nothing.” The race organizers email said to take the BART but at 7am this probably wasn’t going to work. So being the very brave man that I am, at 6am in the semi darkness, I drove into the heart of Oakland, to my surprise it was perfectly normal, very clean, tidy and modern with a parking lot just before the start. I couldn’t pay for the parking as I’d no phone reception, so another runner kindly gave me their phone to pay. So far so good.

3. Razzmatazz

I think that you should always be wary of races with too much stuff not related to running. The race looked like a super slick operation, loud music, a DJ, big gantries, and lots of stalls selling stuff that you don’t need to run. It made me realize where the $150 entry fee was going. Yes, you read that right $150 for a race and this was if you selected none of the Ryanair style add-ons on the super slick website.

4. No Easy Day

I think that my hopes of an easy day were dashed by the sight of a pair of Alphafly 2s on the start line. I was half hoping that there would be absolutely no-one at the race and that I could run around at 6 minute mile pace win and run the cross country the next day with no problems. Unfortunately, a guy with a new pair of Alphafly 2s took the race out at 5:30 pace so I knew that my easy day plan was gone.

5. East Berlin

I think that the first 5k of the race was the part of Oakland that people were talking about. Once we left the start area near the nice lake we entered what I think was downtown Oakland. It reminded me of those streets in East Berlin that look kind of dangerous but actually aren’t with lots of bars and warehouses. I felt perfectly safe as there was no-one about except the many police officers who were marshalling the race. After about 5k I had two other runners for company, a fella in a t-shirt who I knew wasn’t going to get much farther and the fella in the Alphaflys who looked very comfortable, too comfortable.

6. Lake Merritt

I think that the race should just have been four laps of Lake Merritt. I am unsure of what the race organizers were trying to achieve with what was the most convoluted course designs I have ever seen. Lake Merritt is a lovely lake to run around, but for some reason they decided that the Lake wasn’t nice enough and we were sent out into downtown Oakland before coming back to the Lake to do a lap before going back around the lake in the opposite direction and then back out into downtown Oakland before finishing back at the lake. Four laps of the lake would have been fine with no need for all the police officers and cones.

7. So Many Cones

I think that traffic cones must be the cause of all race course problems. Has there ever been a problem with a race that wasn’t caused by a misplaced cone. Once we had completed the first lap of the lake I was expecting to have to turn around and go back around the lake in the opposite direction like the map had said. Instead, the police officer on the lead bike kept going, there was never any obvious turnaround, so I assumed that he knew what he was doing. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

8. Kiplimo

I think that it would have been a great finish if we’d followed the actual course. Up until 9 miles I had been leading keeping the pace around 5:35-5:40s. Then at mile 9 the guy in the Alphaflys picked it up and tried to drop me. Amazingly with some effort I was able to follow him. To both of our surprise just as our watches ticked to 10 miles the police officer drove us back through the finish and parked up. We jogged over to him unsure of what was happening, “Wow, you guys are amazing, you’re done, super-fast”. “No we aren’t” “We didn’t break the world record for the half marathon”

9. Right on Harrison

I think that it was a bit optimistic of us to think that we could remedy the situation at this point. I always have hope. I convinced the guy in the Alphaflys that we could just run back to the 11 mile mark which was about a mile back the road and resume from there, sure no one would notice. We ran back to the 11 mile mark, fist bumped and resumed racing. I seemed to have more interest in the resumed race and got a gap quite quickly. Then after we passed the 12 mile mark we were sent the wrong way again. We ran on until 14 miles appeared on the watch with no sign of the finish. Then I saw one of the many the police officers picking up the cones. The game was up. We stopped and asked the police officer for directions back. “Turn Right on Harrison”, “Thank you Sir” and off we jogged defeated.

10. Refund > Prize

I think that I was lucky that the half marathon went so wrong. When we finally got back to the start after turning right on Harrison we met the race organiser who was very apologetic, my Alphafly buddy and his coach (think American Donie Walsh) were a little more angry about the whole thing than I was. They obviously hadn’t heard of the Raheny 5 or the Cork Half Marathon. We asked to be refunded the race entry fee which the race organiser said would be no problem, this would only happen in America. As it turns out there were no prizes for winning the race anyway so the best result was to get a refund of the entry fee. The lesson is always enter a race because it’ll be great fun no matter what happens especially abroad, just maybe don’t take them too seriously.

Cork BHAA Stryker 4 Mile

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA Stryker 4 Mile 2022

1. 2006

I think that back in 2006 and this might have been the first BHAA race that I ever ran. It is difficult to believe that I’ve been running these for 16 years. I look way too young and tanned to have been running BHAA races for 16 years. I remember the course was almost identical back then just it started by the church taking and finished in the town. We got a lovely light blue t-shirt which I wore for about 10 years. I didn’t take any t-shirt this time.

2. Why am I Mad?

I think that it is very odd that people think that I am mad for racing the week after a marathon. I don’t think that I am mad at all. I think other people are mad. I see people on Strava do stuff that is way madder than what I do but they never race. Racing is much better than training. There should be rule that you can’t go more than a month with out racing if you aren’t injured otherwise you get banned from racing.

3. Original Magic Shoes

I think that I was never so happy as when I saw the original Next%s appear on the Nike website. It was like a dream come through. They are definitely the original and best magic shoes. They feel bouncier than all the other ones, even the later colours of the Next% are not as good. The ones I got must have been sitting in a warehouse somewhere for the last three years as the box was a bit dusty but they feel so great. I have five pairs now, that should keep me going for a few years.

4. Running Paradise

I think that it is amazing how the cyclepaths around Carrigtohill magically appeared the moment I no longer had to go to the factory for work. For years and years there was nothing but goat tracks around Carrigtohill to run on, you’d do well to make a five mile loop, then we were all sent home forever and when I return the place is a running paradise with links to Glounthaune and Little Island. It is amazing, we should all continue to vote for the Green Party.

5. False Start

I think that the start of the race was a bit chaotic. It is a bad idea to repeatedly test the starting sound which is working perfectly while 600 people are waiting to run. Once we got going I felt all of the badness from the marathon reawaken in my legs. Eric and Denis took off in the lead but it looked like they weren’t doing what they normally do so I should have been able to keep up with them but I couldn’t. Instead, I had to stay back with James McCarthy and a fella in a black singlet who I didn’t know.

6. Established Order

I think that it is very motivating when there is someone you don’t know up ahead of you in a race. Once we turned left at the deadly junction in the village I started to feel less bad. Denis and Eric were just ahead with a fella I didn’t know in between. I have an established order of runners in my head and it is upsetting to me when a race doesn’t play out in accordance with this order. To have someone you don’t know or recognize ahead means you are probably running terribly. This helped greatly as I used the hatred to run up the hill by the ludicrously located train station to pass the fella I didn’t know.

7. Progress

I think that I ran the second and third mile of the race excellently. I was probably the winner of the second and third miles. Once we turned left onto the road where you normally can’t run for fear of being mowed down by a fella in an Audi or BMW estate who is late for a vital morning meeting. I started to make excellent progress. I had dispatched the fella I didn’t know which reduced my worry about the terribleness of the potential time and began working on beating James McCarthy who I quickly passed on the downhill because I’m definitely one of the most excellent runners at downhills.

8. Morning Runs

I think that it helps to have run part of a race over and over again during easy runs. When we turned left for the third time I was onto a stretch of road that I used to run every morning before working from home became a thing. I was in third place within sight of Denis who appeared to be comfortable in the lead and Eric who I thought I could catch. I could hear James McCarthy just behind so I was worried about him as he is a recent convert to magic shoes. If he had of been in his old suction boots I’d have destroyed him.

9. King of Ballintotis

I think that I shouldn’t be too surprised that the King of Ballintotis schooled me in the last 100m of the race. When we turned left for the fourth and final time out onto the Ballyseedy road I felt I had a chance of beating James. I got to the wooded section with the broken up gravel still in third although I could hear him closing so I put in the last of the surges that annoy Michael Herlihy at the farm so much. I thought this had finished him but when we emerged out onto the footpath again a white singlet aggressively and authoritatively brushed passed in a sort of I can’t be beaten by you way. I gave up then and ran the last 50m quite slowly condemned to another fourth place and probably no prize.

10. Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

I think that my finishing position is a good example of statistics. You could try and teach someone about sampling and sample sizes by it. Generally, in a sample of 500 runners I am about the fourth best runner. This has been proven too many times. If the sample size reduces to say 150 like in Doneraile then I have a good chance of being first. But like sampling just because there are only 50 people in a race like in Liscarroll it doesn’t mean that I will be first. That’s why you need to run lots of races and take lots of samples to make sure you get a good estimate of the actual result which is normally fourth when the race is kind of big. See running is all about statistics.

Reykjavik Marathon 2022

1. Cancelled Volcano

I think that if it wasn’t for the volcano I wouldn’t have gone back to Reykjavik for the marathon. The volcano is just outside Reykjavik and hasn’t erupted for 6,000 years. Unfortunately, the day we arrived it decided to stop and go back to sleep. At least the marathon wasn’t cancelled.

2. SuperValu and the Marina Market

I think that Iceland is like living in a country where you can only shop in SuperValu and drink coffee in the Marina Market. It’s not “expensive” as such, mainly because Ireland is just as bad. €7 for a coffee and a croissant is just Cork hipster market prices, it’s still ridiculous but at least it’s in Iceland and not down the docks in Cork City. The shops are just SuperValu prices.

3. Goldilocks

I think that Reykjavik could be one of those goldilocks marathons. It is about the only place in Europe where you can run a marathon in August with temperatures guaranteed to be under 20 degrees and probably below 10. It’s not particularly hilly but not flat. It could be perfect if it wasn’t for one thing, the wind.

4. 156 Words for Wind

I think that Icelandic wind is special. I’m familiar with wind, I grew up under the Galtee mountains, so I have good wind knowledge. I have never experienced anything like Reykjavik wind. A northerly wind that felt like it had come directly from the artic tundra. At the start it looked like a normal day, a perfect day for a marathon. It was only when we reached the coast after a mile that the wind started. Unfortunately the next 10 miles ran directly along the coast.

5. Fly Away Chip

I think that it would be a good idea for the Reykjavik marathon to use a separate chip for timing. The timing chip was attached to the number. The problem with this is that if the number comes off the timing is gone. As we ran along the coast the number was under serious pressure. I began to picture the number breaking free from the safety pins and flying off into the Atlantic never to be seen again. It almost would have been a blessing. To stop it rattling around so much I tucked the number and singlet into my shorts which worked well.

6. Oh Yeah I’m in a Race

I think that I only really started to think about the race after 10 miles. The first 10 miles were all wind, there was nothing else to think about. I let a lot of people go ahead of me while I was thinking about how terrible the wind was. I had considered stopping as the pace as hitting 6:40 pace. Then when we reached the turnaround at about 11 miles I saw that of all the people ahead only three were running the marathon. The first two were well clear and gone but the third and Italian looking fella was only about a minute ahead. Third was money, money was motivation.

7. Inland Catch

I think that I would have run faster in the race if I hadn’t caught the Italian in third so quickly. Once we got off the coast the wind was barely noticeable. I started counting down the gap to the Italian, it is very motivating to see that you are catching money ahead. As we got to 15 miles I caught him and went straight by making sure to bury him. I did feel a bit bad as he was wearing adidas suction boots so it probably wasn’t a fair fight.

8. Fear of Fourth

I think that my fear of fourth place was not as good a motivator as my desire to get into the money in third. Once I had dispatched the poor Italian and his adidas suction boots I was left with 10 miles on my own. Thankfully a steward appeared on a bike and began to cycle a bit in front of me. I’m not sure if I’d have been able to follow the course if it wasn’t for the bike as it was very convoluted in and around housing estates. It’s not a bad course, just lots of bike paths and twists and turns. It goes by quickly.

9. Prisoner of Time

I think that Marathons are ruined by the obsessions with times. I was half disgusted when I got to the finish and saw the time on the big red clock. It was the sort of time that I would expect to click on and see a Strava pace graph falling off a cliff, but it wasn’t like that at all. I ran the last mile and a bit excellently fast; it was very unusual. When I crossed the line I was met by an official who told me I was third and to be at the podium at 11:40 to collect the money.

10. Seventy Five Thousand

I think that I might never win as much money in a race again. Icelandic money is excellent as it is very big. On the podium I was given a bag with a note in it saying that I had won 75000 Icelandic money for third place in the marathon. If I had of been Icelandic it would have been double that. I think I will have to look into Icelandic citizenship, I would be the second-best marathon runner in Iceland. I must have some relatives up there, we are all related to Vikings, perhaps if I grow my hair back it might help. Donal Timothyson.

Liscarroll 7 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Liscarroll 7 Mile

1. Donkey Sanctuary

I think it is apt that Liscarroll is home to a Donkey Sanctuaries and a seven mile race between two old donkeys like myself and John Meade.

2. Castle on the Hill

I think that this was my first time in Liscarroll. Liscarroll is very far from anywhere, especially Glanmire. It is to the opposite side of Mallow to Doneraile but about equally as far away. In addition to the Donkey Sanctuary there is a lovely castle up on the little hill and what looks like a nice pub. John Meade said that Liscarroll means Fort of Carroll.

3. Seven Miles

I think that there aren’t enough seven mile races. It is a lovely distance to run, not as horrible as ten miles and not as short as 10k. I won the last seven mile road race that I ran in Donoughmore so I thought it would be a shame to miss out on the final one of the year. That and I missed the deadline to enter the old man track 5k in Tullamore which has to be entered three months in advance.

4. Sure Who Else Could There Be in Liscarroll

I think that it was rather foolish of myself and John Meade to think that we would have the race to ourselves. Owing to the ridiculous heat I was happy to do John Meade’s abridged warm up of about a mile. When we got back the the car we were greeted by the sight of a thoroughbred Paul Moloney getting warmed up to ruin the donkey derby that we had planned.

5. Compressed Charleville Half Marathon

I think that this route had all the hallmarks of a Michael Herlihy designed course. It was pretty much the Charleville Half Marathon map compressed to seven miles and overlaid on the roads around Liscarroll. The only difference was that there was a slight up hill on the straight road out and a slight downhill on the straight road back. Perhaps the two races should partner up as it was the perfect preparation for Charleville. It even had the heat and humidity.

6. Group of Three

I think that I did everything right in this race. At the start Paul Moloney tore off ahead like we expected, I was left in a group of three with John Meade and Karl Lenihan. It was a lovely civilized group, we ran along together up the slight hill to the three mile mark where there was a much needed water stop.

7. Aqua Bleu

I think that John Meade must be the best man in the local road racing scene at collecting a bottle from the side of the road. As we approached the water stop John moved to the front and got the bottle from the only person standing at the left hand side of the road. Myself and Karl had to veer over to the other side of the road and with that John Meade got a gap. This made me very angry and I considered shouting at John to give back the unfair advantage. Thankfully my fitness is improving so with a massive effort I was able to bridge back up to John and get a gap on Karl reducing the group to two.

8. Gradually Growing Gap

I think that this was possibly my best ever performance against John Meade on the road. I have beaten him on the road before but on all occasions I had Vaporflys and he had Adidas suction boots so that probably doesn’t really count. As we ran back towards Liscarroll I tried everything to keep in touch with him but he just kept pulling away slightly bit by not until I had no hope of catching him. This is probably why they don’t get big audiences for road races on TV as gaps just grow gradually, nothing dramatic ever happens and no one closes a gap ever.

9. Podium

I think that it was wonderful to finally break my run of fourth places. This race was setup for another fourth place as in Galbally Karl Lenihan had flown past me at about 6 miles and bridged up to John Meade so I was particularly worried about him once we got to 10k. Despite the incredible heat I didn’t feel too bad over the last mile and was able to keep John Meade in sight and finish third just behind John and just in front of Karl. There was even a brown envelope for third which I should have given to Tim for minding Billy at the race but I didn’t.

10. 10% Coakley’s

I think that this race deserved a much bigger turn out for such a perfectly organized race. When I looked at the results 10% of the entrants were Coakley’s. Coakley is an extremely rare name. I suppose a Friday night in the middle of August in a heatwave wave when Westlife are playing in Pairc Ui Caoimh probably isn’t the best night for a race. It is definitely one of the better races that I’ve done, hopefully there is a bigger crowd next year, all preparing for Charleville in a big North Cork road racing series.

Kilbeggan 10 2022

10 Things I Think About The Kilbeggan 10 Mile

1. David McWilliams

I think that David McWilliams could do a good economics podcast on road races in 2022. The difference between road races in 2021 and 2022 is amazing. Every road race in 2021 had to be entered months beforehand, people were traveling from Gdansk to do road races and selling entries on Facebook. Now you can rock up 30 minutes before pay a few bob and race the locals, I’m not sure if it is better.

2. Commonwealth Games.

I think that we should adopt the UK attitude to running. In the UK it seems to be par for the course to do a race full tilt and then race the next day thinking nothing of it. Tally-ho old chap. Here you must taper for at least a week before a race and run no more than 5 miles the day before. Then you must perfectly pace your race running each mile at precisely the correct pace so that all the mile bars are the same height on Strava. Perhaps I’ve been watching too much commonwealth games but I think the UK are right.

3. Champion of The Glen

I think that doing a ParkRun the day before a race is dangerous. It is very easy to get carried away. I decided to do The Glen because it is such a nice route and I never get the chance to do it. I thought I would just run around but in the end I got a bit carried away and became Champion of the Glen, contrary to rumours on a podcast I was not running pushing Billy in the buggy, that was the week before in Tramore Valley of Desolation Park when we came 9th.

4. Streets of Galway

I think that I probably should have done the Streets of Galway instead of Kilbeggan. Someone had to mind Billy and that someone was me. I would have run around with the buggy but buggies are only allowed in ParkRuns so I had to settle for watching. I will do the Streets of Galway next year, it looked excellent, very fast, thankfully Galway is close to Kilbeggan so it was easy to go to both.

5. Different Magic Shoes

I think that this was the first race I have been to where everyone in front of me was wearing a different shoe to me. I was beaten by a Next%2, an Adidas Adios Pro 3, a Saucony Pro 3, an AlphaFly 2 and an AlphaFly. I still think that the original yellow and pink Next%s were extra special and that Nike were told to dial it back a bit. All the new shoes seem to have about the same level of magic, except for the Brooks ones, they seem to be nonmagic.

6. No Country for Young Men

I think that road racing is becoming an over 40s sport. In Kilbeggan the battle for third was about between 5 M40s and me. I know I look extremely tanned and young for my age but I am nearly always the youngest person at races even though I am actually nearly old. What is going to happen in 10 years time when I am very old and nearly 46? Will there be anyone to race me? Will the hybrid athletes emerge from the gym and suddenly take up running at 40? John Meade will be nearly 60 and probably still be beating me.

7. Lovely Wind

I think the wind on the road out of Kilbeggan was wonderful in the race. Due to global warming or the natural warmth whatever side of the fence you are on it was too hot for running in Kilbeggan. Thankfully the lovely headwind made it feel like February so a big group of M40s and me were able to run up the hill to the left turn at 3.5 miles in the village who's name I can't remember.

8. My Favourite Road

I think that the Kilbeggan 10 route is one of the better 10 mile routes The boggy road once you turn left off the main road is one of the best sections of road in any race. It has relentless little hills that you can see for miles ahead. They are great fun and if you are in a group you can see which of the magic shoes work better on the uphill and which on the downhill. The AlphaFlys look very bad uphills but very good downhills.

9. Downhill Wind Aided

I think that the last three miles of this race were very annoying. They should have been very fast, the wind was behind us and it is kind of downhill if you forget about the ramp over the motorway. When we turned left off the boggy road onto the road with grass running down the middle of it I suddenly felt the heat, then it felt like someone had thrown a bucket of water over me. I didn’t think I was slowing down as I wasn’t losing or gaining ground on the M40s up ahead but they were slowing too. Humidity is running's enemy.

10. Climate Calculator

I think that MyRunResults or PopUpRaces need to incorporate a heat and humidity calculator into the race results. A 10 mile race in August is like the Raheny 5 in 2022 and a 10 mile race in February is like the Raheny 5 in 2019. I found a basic one on google which told me that I was a lot better than my time which is great. Unfortunately all the M40s would also be a lot better too so I’d still have been 6th just faster and happier. I'll just have to stop racing in the summer.

Kinsale Regatta 5 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Kinsale 5 Mile

1. Operation Quieten Viv

I think that it is a disgrace that Viv is making a show of all the very young runners like me. He’s only running 15:30 for 5k in magic shoes and winning by miles which is a desperate standard. When I found out that he was running Kinsale I had to go to see if I could quieten him.

2. Magic Roads

I think that Kinsale is very hard to get to. The roads don’t make any sense. There isn’t really any road to Kinsale just lots of roads that meet at deadly crossroads where you could easily be killed on your way to the race.

3. Toolbox

I think that there are very few things left in the toolbox for getting better at running. I could try training properly but then it would be really boring and I’d have to tell people that I’m training for a sub 2:30 marathon the whole time and never ever run a race for fear of missing a session. Instead I bought a pair of Asics Metaspeed Sky+. I was going to wear them as I thought they might be magic but I was terrified of being beaten by Jeremy if I didn’t have magic shoes so I didn’t.

4. Strategy

I think that I had a good strategy for the race. I had analysed Viv’s previous races where he had won easily, actually there was only one but he won easily. In that race he was allowed run slowly from the start and then pick it up for the last mile and destroy everyone. I figured it would be a good idea to make it as hard as possible from the start in the hope that he would be wrecked by the time he got to the last mile. Jeremy agreed that was a good plan and agreed to cooperate.

5. 4:56

I think that my plan would have been easier to execute if Gavin O’Rourke hadn’t shown up. While it made taking the race out at what I would call hard easier as we had someone to follow it also made me realise how terribly slow my version of hard is, even with a 4:56 mile Gavin was miles up the road. I was stuck with Jeremy and a hopefully suffering Viv.

6. 4:54

I think that the second mile of this race is completely mad. It is incredibly downhill, well there is one section that is almost vertical. I am exceptional at falling down hills so as soon as we got to this section I went for it. I managed to shed Jeremy but somehow Viv stuck to me like one of those limpets on a rock. We went so fast down the fall that we nearly caught up to Gavin.

7. Davide Rebellin

I think that the third mile of this race was incredible. It was horrible to come off the hill and suddenly meet gravity again. It felt like I was crawling along which I probably was. Viv came up beside me and then promptly danced off away from me. Gavin was a nice bit up the road but Viv continued to prance up to him effortlessly like one of those fellas from the early 2000s in the Tour De France.

8. Hometown Hero

I think that Jeremy was very happy to beat me badly in this race. The last time I saw him this happy was eating his Knickerbocker Glory the night before the Berlin Marathon. He was very clever and hung back on the crazy downhill and let me destroy myself trying to get rid of Viv. Then he caught me on the flat near the three mile mark and then dispatched me on the little hill on the way back into the town. At least it took a PB for him to beat me. It’s definitely a PB course for downhill PBs.

9. Cars into the Gap

I think that just letting Jeremy run away from me on the way back to Kinsale was a bit weak. Those first two miles destroyed my legs, I’m not able for that leg speed. Once Jeremy was gone I was mainly concerned about Fergus who I knew was thinking about beating Jeremy. I was able to relax when they started letting cars into the gap behind me. I knew this meant I was safe in 4th, my third consecutive 4th, my third consecutive race with no prize.

10. Outdoor Dining

I think that the finish of the race is pretty unique. All races should finish in the middle of town where people are sitting outside eating their Michelin Bib Gourmand dinners. When I got to the finish I expected Gavin to have sat behind Viv and kicked by in the last 400. But no Viv had dropped Gavin with a 4:50 last mile and won. I wonder did the outdoor diners realise that they were watching one of the best masters athletes in the world putting on an exhibition. An amazing performance.

Grange Fermoy 4 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Grange Fermoy 4 Mile 2022

1. I Remember

I think that people have bad memories. I remember standing on my individual spray painted x before the 2020 race maintaining social distance and thinking how great it was to have a race. I remember the organizers saying before we started, “remember us when things get back to normal”. I remembered, many didn't.

2. Sea Level

I think that I didn’t spend long enough time at altitude. I only got 6 days, I think John Meade had nearly 9 which is a significant amount. I’m not sure if it makes any difference but I have felt terrible since I came back. The terribleness was probably more to do with the week of double runs but it is easier to blame it on the altitude.

3. T-Shirts On Sale Now

I think that it was a dangerous thing to get a t-shirt made up with a picture of John Meade celebrating breaking the tape and "Well Done John". When I met John Meade wearing said t-shirt he wasn’t very impressed. Thankfully John Walshe was there with a camera to take a photo and tell John Meade how excellent the t-shirt was and not to be upset about it.

4. Ladies Shoes

I think that it was bad enough tormenting John Meade with the t-shirt. Then on the startline of the race I looked down and saw that he was wearing the purple Vaporfly Next%2s. They looked very small. I told him “They are the ladies colour, John Buckley codded you.” I think he was very angry after this. In fairness they are very un John Meade shoes, the complete opposite of the Adidas suction boots he used to wear.

5. Good Memories

I think that it would have been better if Sergiu, Pat and John Meade hadn’t remembered the race. There was €300 for the winner which would have helped to pay for the altitude. When the race started it was pretty obvious that 4th was probably as good as I could hope for. Unfortunately the money ended at 3rd.

6. Maybe I Got Better

I think that after two miles I thought that the altitude and extra miles had made me better. Sergiu and Pat were well gone but after opening an initial anger fueled gap I managed to catch up to John Meade and I was happy to sit behind him and hope that my altitude was better than his.

7. No I Didn’t

I think that my altitude training ran out after two miles. Once we reached that little hill before we turned left onto the main road I knew that John Meade was going to destroy me. The minute the road turned any bit upwards he put the foot down and opened a big gap. It probably isn’t a good idea to wind up your competition just before a race.

8. Humidity and Wind

I think that the two invisible factors in this race were the wind and the humidity. It was a terrible day for running. Once we turned off the main road the wind started, combine this with the gradual uphill and it was pretty miserable watching John Meade disappearing into the distance appearing to enjoy the wind.

9. Two Seconds

I think that the worst thing about running is that you can spend a full year training and come back to a race you did the year before after about 3 weeks of running and run two seconds slower. It is an infuriating sport. Was all the training pointless? Was training at altitude on the track with Mo Farah detrimental? It is a terrible terrible sport.

10. Consecutive 4ths

I think that finishing fourth is terrible. It seems to be the trend that races have big prize money but only for the top 3 and perhaps an old man prize. I was better off when I never won any money from races. Perhaps next year Sergiu, Pat and John Meade will forget the lesson of 2020 and I can collect the €300.

Mooreabbey Milers 10 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Mooreabbey Milers 10 Mile

1. Keep It Local

I think that when it comes to road races it is always best to keep it local. There is no need to be going to Spain or Edenderry when there is a race 10 minutes drive from where you grew up.

2. It’s Not How You Run, It’s Who’s Running, That's What's Important

I think that it is a terrible mindset to get into to be relying on other people not to show up to win a few bob. I was terribly disappointed to drive into the car park to see Paul Moloney looking up at the Galtees getting ready to warm up. Then to make it worse I turned around to see Sergiu drive into the car park. At least I had some hope of third.

3. Hedge Schools

I think that John Meade’s ability to get to the start line of a these small local road races without being spotted is incredible. It’s almost as if he hides in the car before the start and then appears to psych me out. The first inkling I got that he was running was just before the start when the Grange Fermoy runners said that they had seen him but I thought they were just winding me up. Then I spotted him through the gap in the hedge by the start doing some sort of calisthenics. Now I had no hope of third.

4. Bad Luck to You Too

I think that you know you have raced someone too often when you wish someone bad luck at the start, and they reciprocate the greeting. I am fed up of being beaten by John Meade. It's not fun anymore.

5. More Mountains

I think that the changes that were made to the route of the 10 miler for this year have made it a better route. Unfortunately the changes managed to add more hills to a route that already had many hills. My ego is taking quite a beating from running only in hilly races, I mainly run races so that people will look at my Strava and think “wow that is very fast, I am very jealous” but because of all the hills I’m sure that they are going “oh that’s very slow, I’d probably beat that, the shoes must have worn off”.

6. Water Sponsored by Sergiu

I think that it is a pity that Sergiu didn’t sponsor the first water table with water bottles like he threatened to do after the race. Normally in Ireland no one needs water in a 10 miler but in Galbally in July when it is 25 degrees water is a nice to have. I am very good at drinking out of cups while running from having run Berlin Marathon so I didn’t mind the eco friendly water.

7. Meade Tactics

I think that John Meade doesn’t just rely on his running ability to beat me. He is a ruthless racer, people think he is a very nice man but his race tactics are straight from the Lance Armstrong book of how to win a race. Getting to the water table first and then surging after the water table is a disgraceful thing to do. I wasn’t feeling too bad when he did it so I was able to catch up but it was unnecessary and evil. Then after about 6 miles as we turned off the road to Garyspillane he put in a big kick at the turn and got a gap which I couldn’t respond to and promptly disappeared off up the hilly road with grass running down the middle of it.

8. West Limerick

I think that once John Meade had dispatched me I started to worry about who was behind. Not long after we turned onto the hilly road I heard footsteps behind. Then a West Limerick vest flew by at a pace that made it impossible to even think about following. He was going so fast that I was pretty sure he’d catch John Meade which he did. This made me happy as I knew that John Meade would think it was me and get worried and stressed.

9. Should I Stop?

I think that it shows how vicious a runner John Meade is that the poor fella from West Limerick ended up pulling up in a heap about 400m from the finish line. The last mile is a lovely downhill mile with the Galtees on your right, I was happy enough in fifth but then I saw the West Limerick vest hit the ground having succumbed to John Meade's vicious pace. I considered stopping to help him but by the time I got to him he was standing and looked ok so I ran on and stole the position back. Fourth is better than fifth as it looks like John Meade didn’t beat me by as much as he did.

10. Ice is Nice

I think that the person who decided to put the ice into the little ziplock bags and bring them to the finish is a very great person. It was very, very hot by the time the race finished, probably close to 25 degrees which is hotter than I ever remember it being in Galbally ever. The ice made all the many hills worthwhile, John Meade made up for his antics by getting me water and then left me to go to the podium with Sergiu and Paul. I suppose I’ll have to get used to not collecting prizes again. Someone must have realized that I normally get a prize so they gave me a consolation prize of a bottle of wine which was almost as nice as the ice.

Achill Half Marathon 2022

10 Things I Think About The Achill Half Marathon

1. Second Captains

I think that David O’Doherty’s Second Captains podcast is responsible for putting Achill on the map. I’d never heard of the place until 2020. The podcast made it sound wonderful and woeful all at the same time. The perfect place for a half marathon.

2. 2020 Optimism

I think that this is the last of my 2020 race entries used up. It’s funny to think that in the middle of the 2020 lockdown I thought that July 2020 in Achill would be fine, so I entered. Always be optimistic, most of the races I entered eventually happened, this one only took two years.

3. No Room at the Inn

I think that there must be a lot of podcast fans. There wasn’t a room to be had on the rugged island the night before the race. I had to book a room above a pub in Newport. A very nice room but 25 minutes from the only SuperValu on Achill and 40 minutes from the capital city of Keel where the race started. Once you got to Keel there was lovely parking in a sheep field by the beach. I’m not sure staying on the island was an advantage other than having the honour of staying on the island.

4. What time are you going for?

I think that Gary O’Hanlon probably thought I was some yahoo when I said 74-75 minutes was what I thought I’d run. I hadn’t a clue what the course was like, so I just said what I’d hope for on a moderate course. In reality I just wanted to get around with out having to go on one of the many rocks that make the island famous.

5. Conversations with Gary

I think that the first few miles of the race were great. I went off reasonably hard and after about 800m it was just myself and Gary. I remembered a story that John Meade told me about the Dingle Half Marathon where he spent the entire race talking to Gary so I thought it would be a good idea to do the same. We had a great chat. I’m sure John Meade told a lot more excellent stories than I did.

6. Ac-Hill

I think that the clue about the course is in the name. Achill is very, very, very hill. There is no flat, well maybe a few 100m at the start before you start the three mile climb out of Keel towards the chipper at the top of the hill. When we were halfway up the very long hill Gary asked me the pace, I said it was about 5:50, he was happy with this, he said 6:20 would have been unacceptable so we proceeded on together chatting with a sort of gentleman’s agreement that Gary would win and I would be second at best.

7. The Elusive Last Hill

I think that for a man that has run the course a good few times Gary’s idea of the last hill was way off. He started talking about the last hill when we were passing the magic disappearing beach in Doogort. This was at about 9 miles. I knew that the last hill was probably the last I was see of Gary so I took it that when we stopped talking that was the last hill. This happened somewhere between mile 10 and 11.

8. Where’s Third?

I think that because I was talking to Gary I kind of forgot about the race. I had asked Gary earlier to look behind to see if there was anyone near. He had a quick look behind and wasn’t too concerned. Just before he took off on the last hill he had another look around and unreassuringly said there was a white singlet about 200m back. 200m isn’t much so I kind of had to chase after Gary when he left me on the last hill. Kevin English came by on a bike then and said the gap was more like 45 seconds to the white singlet in third so I relaxed a bit. The last two miles were lovely and downhill so I wasn’t too worried about being caught.

9. Big Gap

I think that the finish of the race is worth all the hills. It finishes in front of Keel beach which is the second nicest beach on the island after the confusingly similarly named Keem beach. Gary managed to open a minute of a gap in two miles which reinforced the fact that I was very second and never actually in contention to win. He was so fast that they had to make him run through the line again afterwards to take photos. The whole thing was very John Meade, sort of like they knew he was going to win.

10. Cheque

I think that there is no better place to spend the afternoon waiting to collect a prize than Keel beach. The prizes were presented on the beach about two hours after the race was finished, it was so sunny that I got extra tanned while waiting. No one is in any rush on Achill because sure what else would you be doing on a rugged island for the day. The prize was well worth the wait and was presented in the excellent form of a cheque, no envelope just a cheque. Like the island itself it’s a unique half marathon, one of the best ones. I might start doing it every year.

Coolagown 10k

10 Things I Think About The Coolagown 10k

1. Unlikely Treble

I think that it was always going to be a big ask to win three races in row. The main problem I have with winning races is that I am relying on lots of other moderately good runners like me taking running seriously. Thankfully due to the last two years lots of moderately good runners like me prefer sessions to races as they have realized that this is how you improve. I prefer continuous races.

2. School Football Matches

I think that it was very cruel of Kieran McKeown to tell me that John Meade was too tired after being at two school football matches. I kind of believed him after last weeks feeble excuse. The thought entered my mind that perhaps he was put off by my course record in the Doneraile 10k and my third slowest winning time ever in the Donoughmore 7 and was actually afraid of me.

3. There He Is

I think that Coolagown is one of the most likely places for John Meade to turn up to a race. They might as well have had “Coolagown welcomes John Meade” signs up. Sure enough Kieran McKeown was only winding me up and there was John Meade looking fresh and well tapered, probably after undergoing a special reconnaissance of the course with the chief race organiser.

4. Rollercoaster

I think that Coolagown is a proper 10k course. You know you are in trouble when you get flashbacks of Donoughmore driving up into the village. It is essentially the Donoughmore 7 only 10k and not at altitude. Just under three miles gently downhill, just over three miles very uphill and 200m very downhill.

5. Would The Real Nick O'Donoghue Please Stand Up

I think that I must look very like Nick O'Donoghue. The race organisers had the great idea of having a fella in the lead car doing commentary. I love commentary on races, it makes it feel like a proper race. Once we got going the man in the van started calling out the leaders, of course he knew John Meade and Kieran McKeown but for some reason he thought I was Nick O'Donoghue. Not Tim, Nick. Perhaps it was the beard and the perpetual smell of coffee off me. Nick O'Donoghue lead all the way to the bottom of the hill at three miles.

6. Tactics

I think that I had no real hope of beating John Meade on that course. Once we reached the part of the course where the downhill kind of petered out and the uphill sort of gradually commenced the man in the van announced that John Meade had overtaken Nick O'Donoghue and opened a big gap. This seemed to delight the commentator for some reason.

7. Kieran McKeown in Third

I think that it was very unfair of the man in the van to keep repeating the same thing over and over again. “John Meade leading comfortably, Nick O'Donoghue in second, Kieran McKeown in third”. This made me very worried as if he could see Kieran McKeown from the van it meant he was very close to me.

8. Well Done John

I think that my favourite part of the race was at five miles as we turned right back onto the semi major road. John Meade was right behind the lead car most likely getting a favorable draft. As the car made the turn right the man in the van doing the commentary said “Well Done John”. I knew this meant that the game was up and that John Meade had won. They might as well have handed him the white envelope out of the back of the van so that he could run straight through the line and back to the car to go to bed early to be up for school in the morning.

9. Metamorphosis

I think that it was almost a pity that someone told the man in the van that I was not Nick O'Donoghue but in fact Donal Coakley. I don’t know who told him but it took him five miles to find out by which time I was wondering if I was in fact Nick O'Donoghue

10. And Well He Knows It

I think that as much as the man in the van was a fan of John Meade the commentator at the finish line was a super fan. “Blistering Pace by John Meade” “At least 100m ahead” “He would have to break both legs not to win” “It’s going to be a record and he knows it” “The man of the moment”. Then a good bit after John Meade I arrived in second place to “And second man home tonight, here comes number 19”. At least it wasn’t Nick O'Donoghue.

Donoughmore 7 2022

10 Things I Think About The Donoughmore 7 Mile

1. Kia Series

I think that it would have been a lot easier if the Donoughmore 7 was part of the Kia Series. It would have saved Lizzie tormenting me to run Dunshaughlin on Saturday to make up a team. No one wants to go to Meath of a Saturday evening. Donoughmore on a sunny Thursday night is far more appealing with far more history.

2. Stuake

I think that Stuake is to Donoughmore what Anglesboro is to Kilbehenny. I feel at home in places like Donoughmore, up on the top of a hill miles from anywhere with roads that would be wonderful for running if it wasn’t for dangerous dogs and even more dangerous drivers. If diesel and petrol become so expensive that people can’t drive anymore Donoughmore will be the place to live.

3. Pink T-Shirts

I think that more races should have pink t-shirts. The ones for the Donoughmore 7 were wonderful, a lovely shade of pink, although to cater for the more conservative dressers they had other options like blue and white. There is no point in a race t-shirt unless it is a little different, why would anyone want another blue or white t-shirt?

4. School Sports Day

I think that school sports days are great. It is because of a school sports day that John Meade didn’t turn up in Donoughmore. I even offered him a lift to the race but he was too tired. Perhaps he was afraid that I would beat him, although I can imagine no worse course on which to race John Meade than the Donoughmore 7, it is almost custom made for him.

5. Wrong Way

I think that after saving the BHAA 5k from going the wrong way on Wednesday night it was embarrassing to nearly send the race the wrong way in Donoughmore. The start of the race is very uphill so we were altogether in a big group going through Stuake. Because it had been three years since I ran the route I forgot that it goes straight on up the hill by the church and instead I went left down past the church. Only for Kieran McKeown shouting at me I was gone the wrong way.

6. The Breakaway

I think that I have learnt much better tactics over the years. My tactics for this race were excellent, possibly the best ever, I stayed with the group for the first mile and a half until we got to the top of the hill and began the wonderful downhill section. Just before we got to the top of the hill I picked it up over the top like Nibali in the Giro after a rest day and went as fast as I could down the descent.

7. Buffer Zone

I think that I knew that I needed to get a gap of at least 30 seconds on the flat downhill three miles to allow for the inevitable time loss due to my relative hugeness and inability to run uphill at any speed. I put everything I had into those lovely wonderful 3 miles, the first two were beautiful, then for the third mile I had to contend with fresh tar and chippings which definitely slowed down my magic shoes. I couldn’t hear anyone by the time I got to the left hand turn up the hill which was both excellent and terrifying.

8. The Slowest Ever Winner

I think that I spent most of the first uphill mile wondering if it was worse to win the historic Donoughmore 7 race in the slowest ever time or to be caught for 30 seconds in two miles and finish second. I felt like I was moving so slowly up the hill which I was. I looked at my watch which offered no solace as the average pace had dropped nearly 5 seconds a mile in one mile which is lots. I started thinking about the abuse I’d get from Kieran McKeown if he caught me. This helped with the motivation.

9. Who’s That, What’s That

I think that there is nothing worse in a race than to hear the sound of a second pair of magic shoes getting closer and closer to you. Not only could I hear the second pair of magic shoes but every time I passed a house it seemed like the time between the people clapping for me and then clapping for the person behind got shorter and shorter. It was absolutely terrifying and there was nothing I could do about it because I’m huge and can’t run up hill. I still didn’t know who was behind, I assumed it was Mark Smith after being set free from Aoife Cooke’s tempo, I feared it was Kieran McKeown.

10. Sprint

I think that I did a very excellent sprint finish, definitely my best. It was the sort of sprint you do when you realize that what you are about to do will annoy Michael Herlihy greatly. I was so motivated to get my name on that trophy alongside his name. I put everything I had into that last 400m up the hill. It was so horrible and painful. It didn’t feel like I was going terribly fast. I was waiting to feel the whoosh of someone flying by just before the line but I got there first just before Aoife.

Doneraile 10k 2022

10 Things I Think About The Doneraile 10k

1. #recoveryiskey

I think that magic shoes mean that the recovery from a marathon is no longer key. The difference between a Marathon in normal shoes and magic shoes is astonishing. I used to talk about debadification but I think that word can be retired now. I jogged from the bus station to the pub on Sunday evening after the marathon, that shouldn’t be possible. They need to be banned so we can all go back to suffering properly.

2. Diesel

I think that the price of diesel had a lot to do with the lack of Sergiu’s and the like in Doneraile. Doneraile is in an odd location, it’s not very far away but it’s far away enough for it to be expensive to get to at €2 a litre. I made the calculation that it was worth it and I really, really like Doneraile Park anyway.

3. Light Brown Jubilee

I think that there should have been more of a celebration of my three-year stint as the reigning champion of the Doneraile 10k. The last time I did it in 2019 it was exactly the same, 6 days after the Cork marathon but in a pair of Brooks Ghosts. No one seemed to know that I was reigning champion. Perhaps I should have pointed it out.

4. Rolling

I think that there should be more courses like the Doneraile 10k. I love the mix of rolling road and then the nice trail around the park. It is such a nice route, 10k goes by quickly as there is lots to look at. Most of the races in Spain are like this, it’s much better, less nonsense around times, just a race.

5. Who’s Going to Win

I think that I should have been more confident when the Popupraces guy with the desperate Dublin accent asked who’s going to win. I didn’t say anything because I was very worried that Paul Moloney was hiding somewhere talking to Mallow AC runners. Then the Dub said that there was €50 for breaking the course record. My own course record run in non-magic shoes 6 days after a marathon in non-magic shoes, how hard could that be in magic shoes?

6. Magic but not Miraculous Shoes

I think that even though the magic shoes make a mockery of the recovery after the marathon I still felt a little sluggish at the start so I didn’t go too mad down the hill from the Park Gate to the Main Street. Once I reached the right turn at the Pharmacy where I used to work I was fairly confident that I was ahead. I never look behind in a race so I couldn’t be sure. I could hear something behind me which I’m pretty sure was just the sound of my own magic shoes but I pretended it was John Meade so that I would be motivated for the whole of the 10k.

7. Roy Keane

I think that Diadora need to sell more running gear. When I was in Milan I bought a very excellent red Diadora singlet at the expo, it is my favourite singlet ever, very Italian. It was probably very confusing for the people of Doneraile as it looked exactly the same as the Doneraile AC singlet. Perhaps I should join Doneraile instead, sure I’ve no binding links to Leevale, at least I worked in Doneraile and love the park.

8. Tormenting the Stewards

I think that I felt bad about tormenting the poor steward at the bridge at the bottom of the park. As I approached the bridge there were two stewards having a good chat, the chat was so good that they didn’t see or hear me coming which is amazing as I was making lots of noise. When they finally saw me one of the stewards took off running over the bridge to try and get up to the vital T-junction where you can go left or right. I knew the course went left but as I passed him, I said “it’s right isn’t it”, “No left, “are you sure?”. I probably should have left him alone.

9. Sergey Bubka

I think that breaking your own course record is great, especially when you get €50 for doing it. I was tempted to do a Sergi Bubka on it and slow down when I could see the clock so that I could do it again next year but that probably would have looked terrible and very arrogant. Magic shoes seem to be worth about a minute over 10k the week after a marathon according to my carefully controlled experiment.

10. Stitch Payback

I think that winning races doesn’t suit me. I don’t particularly like winning races. It is much more fun to beat John Meade or Viv and finish 4th. I don’t know why. At least by winning I earned back the €100 that the stitch cost me last week in the marathon. I doubt I’ll get away with 3 in a row in Doneraile, there’s no way that I will be let. I just hope that it’s someone like Sergiu or Paul Moloney that breaks my course record and not John Meade or Lizzie.

Cork City Marathon 2022

10 Things I Think About The Cork City Marathon 2022

1. Why are you doing Cork?

I think that coming up with a reason to do the Cork Marathon is very hard. My main reason for running it is like how people do the lottery. I am hoping that if I keep doing it one year, all I need is one year, no one will turn up and I will win in a time of two hours, 30 minutes and 35 seconds.

2. Hotel Glanmire

I think that people who think a marathon in your home city is easier are very wrong. If Cork was Berlin you would not stay in Glanmire the night before the marathon, you would stay on South Terrace in a beautiful red brick AirBnB and walk to the start. You also wouldn’t have to load an 18kg baby into the back of a Scirocco and try and drive into the City with no roads open at 730 in the morning. Foreign marathons are a lot easier.

3. Tower of Power

I think that I have finally mastered the marathon nutrition plan. It has taken a long time. The night before all eating has to stop at 6pm. The last meal was white rice and tofu which I don’t want to eat again until the next marathon. Then a tower of power at 6:30am before the marathon. My stomach was never so good in a race ever. I could almost do a PDF plan and sell it on the internet.

4. No Viv, No Hate, No Mojo

I think that I missed Viv terribly on the start line. It was terrible. I had absolutely no one to hate. I looked around at the start and saw absolutely no one that I could motivate myself with. It’s kind of hard to run a fast pace without the thought of a marauding Viv chasing you tracking you down relentlessly.

5. Mist Shower

I think that if you were to associate a colour with this race it would be the colour of wet tarmac. It was unusually wet. A weird sort of rain that comes with little or no wind and no cold. I’m not actually sure if it was raining but it felt wet. It was perfect for running, goldilocks conditions for Cork.

6. Sticky Bottle

I think that it was nice of Viv to offer to cycle around the course giving out bottles and gels to Conor and me. He did an excellent job, I even got a sticky bottle off him on the Blackrock walkway. The sticky bottles don’t work as well in running as they do in cycling.

7. London Boi

I think that I should have done a full John Meade on it and continued to talk to the guy from London for the last 13 miles of the race. Given how easy it was to talk I probably wasn’t suffering enough due to the lack of Viv. In the end I only did a partial John Meade and just told him a brief history of the route and the city lasting about a mile.

8. Straight Road

I think that I was lucky to meet Damian and Aoife during the race. It was all great until we got to the straight road when all of a sudden Damian just stopped. Aoife who was pacing us steadily turned around like a cross teacher and went back to Damian, I didn’t hear what she said to him but suddenly he was back going again. The Straight Road is a particularly awful place, possibly the worst mile of any marathon in the world. Everyone could probably do with an Aoife on the straight road.

9. The €100 Stitch

I think that the stitch that I got going down North Main Street was probably the costliest stitch of my life. As we came off the path by the Lee Maltings I had gotten a good gap on the Londoner. I was pretty sure I’d him beaten. Viv was alongside me on the bike and I felt good. Then when I turned right past the Gate and Viv went the other way I felt the stitch. I think I was holding my arms wrong or else Viv took out his voodoo doll. Anyway, due to the stitch the Londoner flew by as we passed the falling down buildings held up by rusty steel bars. I tried pushing into my stitch but by the time I had it sorted it was too late and the €200 had become €100 for 10th.

10. Finishers Discount

I think that unfortunately I will have to do the Cork Marathon again. I have gotten a little bit faster ever year so I am well on the way to my goal of winning it. I should have a good chance in 2025 I think, especially if no one new starts running it as most of the other runners are getting very old. I will continue to tell anyone who asks about Cork that it is a terrible course, definitely don’t do it, go somewhere else, Limerick, Dingle, Longford anywhere, just not Cork, Cork is mine, all mine.

Stramilano Half Marathon 2022

10 Things I Think About The Stramilano Half Marathon

1. Top Runner

I think that it is always worth chancing your arm when travelling abroad to races. I emailed the organisers before the race to make sure I’d get up the front. Not only did they put me up the front but they gave me number 9 and “top runner” status. I am sure I am not a top runner, very sure.

2. Steve McClaren

I think that the worst time to get interviewed is when you aren’t expecting it. As I was pretty much the only non-Kenyan or Italian on the start line the TV people came over. I had ice cubes in the plastic wrapping from my new socks held on the top of my head as it was roasting. I have no idea what I said to them but I probably couldn’t have looked more insane. I really hope I didn’t speak English in an Italian accent.

3. Cannonball

I think that everyone has a plan for running in the heat until the Italian national anthem is played and the race is started with the firing of a cannon. I had calculated that based on the heat 75 minutes would be really good. Unfortunately I forgot this calculation immediately and went off not too far behind the Kenyans.

4. Giovanna Epis

I think that I was very wrong to think that I could stay with the group that were running with the best Italian woman in the race. There was a dedicated TV camera crew following her so I thought it would be a good steady pace. Unfortunately it only took about 3k for it to be clear that the pace was far too hot for the heat and for me.

5. Justify “Top Runner”

I think that after I was dropped by the group I started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to justify my status as a “top runner”. I pictured an angry Italian Michael Herlihy at the finish line waiting to give out to me for being so useless, ripping the number 9 off my chest, throwing it in the bin and banning me from ever darkening his race with my presence again.

6. Safe Mode

I think that I have a safe mode for the heat. Once I started to get that hot feeling my main goal was to avoid ending up on a drip in the medical tent. The only way to get less hot is to stop or slow down, nothing else works. A guy up ahead seemed to opt for the stopping option, he was stopping every 3km walking then going again. It seemed to work better than my just slow down option as I never caught up to him. I might adopt this strategy in the next hot race.

7. Floodgates

I think that the last 2km were particularly terrible. It is a strange feeling when you get too hot. It seems like you are running as fast as you can but you are actually going very slow. 10 people must have passed me in the last 2k and I could do nothing about it only watch them fly by. I thought I might muster some bit of a sprint but when I rounded the last corner and saw 76 on the clock I didn’t see the point and just ran home free from danger of the medical tent.

8. Another Day

I think that I will have to come back and do this race again if I haven’t been banned by the race organisers. It is such a great course, completely flat, perfectly organised and a great way to see Milan. It’s normally on in March/April so it was unusual for it to be so hot. Even the Italians and Kenyans said it was too hot.

9. Donal like Donadoni

I think that I must have done an excellent first interview as after the race the same TV crew came straight over to interview me again. I pointed out that it was very hot. At the end they asked me my name, “Donal”, Donald?, no “Donal like Donadoni”.

10. Biliud Cubchoge

I think that the Kenyans were very impressed with Billy. I saw the four Kenyans who dominated the race sitting down in front of an old giant door with a golden frame so I sat down beside them for a chat. Rhona wheeled Billy in beside me. I showed the Kenyans Billy’s bib which has Biliud Cubchoge written on it. They thought it was very funny, the only people so far.

Midleton 5 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Midleton 5

1. Race Inflation

I think that it is very clear that there are too many races again. It is impossible to do even half of them unless you are mad and extremely resistant to injury. I have implemented a one race per week limit unless it is a 5k in which case I can do two. I did Midleton because I like Midleton and there aren’t enough 5 mile races any more because of Ballycotton being gone.

2. Grumpy Bakers

I think that I was very lucky to have this loop during the emergency. We used to do a loop from the Grumpy Bakers that helped maintain some degree of sanity. I have good memories of beating Michael Herlihy in a 10 mile time trial on this loop which didn’t count because it was a time trial. I think I ran 52 minutes.

3. Make No Mistake

I think that you could make no mistake that Viv is fully recovered after Boston. He is such a perfect man it is annoying; he looked the image of health on the starting line, glowing. Imagine having the discipline to take a week off after a marathon, recovery properly and then be flying two weeks later. It’s very annoying. I wish I was more disciplined.

4. He Gone

I think that the start of the race made me realise how much of a gap there is between proper runners like Michael Harty and elite hobby joggers like myself. He tore off at the start like someone who had misread the race flyer and thought there was €1000 for a course record. He was nearly out of sight by the time we went under the N25.

5. Queuejumper

I think that the wind made this race both hard and easy. Once we went under the N25 and out onto the nice path the wind hit us. I was delighted as it gave me a chance to catch up to Barry and Mark. Then Mark tried some reverse queue jumping by slowing down and trying to shelter behind me. I was having none of it, I put my arm around him and moved him back up beside Barry in front of me and Viv. The laziness was astonishing.

6. Hanging On

I think that I knew I was in trouble after a mile. Donie was standing at the traffic lights for the ghost estate that wasn’t built calling out the times. 5:10 was pretty much what I wanted to hear but it felt like 4:50. It was a perfect group but I knew it was going to be difficult to get any faster and it couldn’t have contained worse people than Mark, Barry and Viv.

7. The Turn

I think that I thought I had a chance when I was able to stay with Barry, Mark and Viv once we turned left and ran down and up the hill after the farmyard. I was pretty sure they would drop me there but they didn’t. I could tell that Mark and Viv had lots left as they were barely breathing, Barry seemed to be suffering just as much as me.

8. Very Impressive

I think that what Mark Walsh did over the last two miles of the race would have been very impressive if Michael Harty wasn’t already across the line with his feet up, having a cup of tea and a bun. Once we turned left to turn back towards Midleton at the highest part of the course Mark tore off. Not even Viv could go with him. I tried to stay with Barry which worked for a while.

9. Going Backwards

I think that normally in a road race if you don’t slow down you generally have a good chance of doing well. I thought I was after blowing up completely but when I looked on Strava after the race I just ran the same pace from mile 2 to 5. Mark, Viv and Barry just sped up and dropped me which is unusual. It was like a proper race you’d see on TV. I ended up 5th which is a terrible place to finish, neither good nor bad.

10. Goldilocks Race

I think that the finish of this race is brilliant. The right hand turn with the long winding finishing straight is wonderful. It is neither uphill, nor downhill nor flat. It would make an excellent TV finish. There were people out shouting at us which was nice. The course measured 5.05 miles on my trusty GPS watch which means it probably isn’t short or long, it’s just right.

The Great Railway Run 25k 2022

10 Things I Think About The Great Railway Run 25k

1. Unfinished Business

I think that I had unfinished business with this race. It is the only race that I remember dropping out of. Dropping out of a race is a terrible thing to do, a terrible act with terrible consequences. Dropping out of races can become a habit, so it was important to comeback and finish this race just to prove that it wasn’t terrible mental weakness or a fear of doing the same route that I run nearly every second day in a race.

2. Where’s Jeremy

I think that Jeremy was badly missed at the start line. I don’t really know why I thought Jeremy was going to run but everyone is terrified of him after that 5k in Kilkenny. Even Alan O’Brien was looking for him, “Where’s Jeremy?”.

3. 530s 540s

I think that it is pointless asking people what they are going to run at the start of a race. Once we had established that there was no Jeremy, Lizzie predicted that the one, two, three would be Alan, me and Damian. I asked Alan what he thought 5:30s? “No, no, no if I did 5:30s I’d be in a heap”, he reminded me of Viv. Then the race started, and we went off at about 5:30s, no one came with us, no one, just me and Alan like an old Saturday training session without the usual gap between us.

4. Substantial Lead at Half Way

I think I must have annoyed Alan with my question about the 5:30s as it took about 2 miles for the 5:30s to become 5:20s and for my time as a co-leader to come to an end. As we turned the corner down the hill from Blackrock Castle the pace increased, and I was dropped, doomed to run 13 miles on my own all the way to Carrigaline watching Alan’s silhouette get smaller and smaller until it was no longer visible and his lead became what one would call substantial at half way.

5. Marathon Prep

I think that this race is perfect preparation for the Cork Marathon. The feeling of despair, awfulness and pointlessness that I felt around the back of Jacob’s Island is exactly the same feeling as I remember from the Cork Marathon, and just like at this point in the Cork Marathon there are about 13 miles to go. There must be something wrong with that land because once you get back onto the path to Harty’s Quay the awfulness goes away, just something to be aware of if you are planning on running Cork.

6. Breaking 25k

I think that the worst part of this race was the fear. I spent the whole race worrying that Damian was doing some sort of session during the race and that he would suddenly appear behind me flying. I became very worried as I passed through Passage West and saw Ken Ince and Gary Walsh standing waiting ready to hop in like the pacers Kipchoge had in Vienna. After seeing them I was certain that they were going to pace Damian perfectly and fly past me in the last mile at exactly 5:40 pace. It was great motivation to keep going. I even started to hear magic shoes behind me, although I think it was that the wind had changed direction and I was hearing my own magic shoes.

7. Compressed Marathon

I think that it was great to find out what happens if you don’t turn up the hill at Raffeen. I had never run the road from Raffeen to Shanbally before, what a road for running, wonderful hills that would been lovely to run up if it wasn’t 11 miles into a 25k race. The hills took a while to get used to after the flat along the water but once I got up the hill to Shanbally I was happy to run more hills. The profile of the 25k is very like if you took the profile of the 42k from the Cork marathon and compressed it to fit into 25k. It is perfect preparation for Cork.

8. Hyundais and Volvos

I think that drivers almost hate runners as much as they hate cyclists. I nearly got taken out in Shanbally at the little out and back section by a Hyundai Tucson being driven by a very angry man. The marshals shouted at me so I was able to avoid him, the Gardai were there watching so I hope he got many penalty points for driving on the wrong side of the road. Then up near Novartis a Volvo XC90 took a side swipe at me like you see in those cycling videos on Twitter. I should have patted the side of the car but instead I just gave an unfriendly wave. I wish I had of worn a GoPro as it would have made an excellent Twitter account.

9. Adrenaline

I think that the adrenaline from the run ins with the angry old men in people carriers was better than any Maurten gel. It is amazing what being angry can do for your ability to run moderately fast. I was nearly back to Carrigaline by the time I’d processed the anger. Then I saw the finish and forgot all about the cars and angry old men who wish that they could run and have tanned legs like me.

10. Magic Prizes

I think that the prizes for this race were incredible. It was far more money than I have ever won in a road race. Perhaps the prizes were calculated based on magic shoes as it was precisely enough money to buy one pair of magic shoes. The only other 25k race I ran was in Berlin, I came 2nd then too and got a box of Cliff bars. A pair of magic shoes is much better. You could never have enough magic shoes.

Great Ireland Run 2022

10 Things I Think About The Great Ireland Run

1. There’s a 9am in the morning now?

I think that 9am on a Saturday morning is a ludicrous time to hold a National 10k. It’s bonkers, are we turning into the US where the races are on early so people can go back to work? Is it to fill the hotels? It probably doesn’t even suit the volunteers. It would be grand if it was on in Cork or say perhaps Portlaoise, Dublin isn’t fair to anyone.

2. Once Stung, Twice Shy

I think that the first race after a race where you had an unexpected injury is always terrifying. I was pretty certain I was better as I can now do every single hamstring exercise on Instagram. Still with something like a hamstring cramp you are always afraid it will happen again as it comes from no where. Unfortunately as I have prodded and poked my hamstring everyday relentlessly for the past three weeks I seem to have irritated the nerve. Injuries breed injuries. Nerves are very annoying.

3. Weather

I think that you know you aren’t taking a race too seriously when the weather on the day of the race is a complete surprise. I really only went because I was going to get my tanned skin checked in Dublin on Saturday so I had to go to Dublin anyway. When I woke at 7am after 5 hours sleep I was delighted with the sunny cold dry wind free air, it was perfect.

4. Atmosphere

I think that race organisers who are doing atmosphere before races need to be sent on a course to the Berlin Marathon to learn what to do. What you need to do is have the dramatic do do doo music and then introduce the great runners like Mick Clohissey, have them wave and then play the Chicago Bulls walk-in tune until the start. That’s it nothing else works, no hand waving, no jumping, just that. Every race that wants atmosphere at the start should do that.

5. Handy

I think that it was an interesting experiment to see what happens when you go off handy at the start of the race. Because of my sciatic nerve self provocation I was scared of sprinting so I kind of went off reasonably handy. I know know that this is a terrible way to run a race and you should always go off as hard as you can as it is free energy at the start.

6. This is Grand

I think that if you are thinking this is grand after about 3k of a race you really aren’t up for a race. All I was thinking about was my hamstring wondering if it would act up again. It felt perfectly fine but I was thinking about it so much that I was monitoring every single muscle contraction to completion. This is not a very nice way to run, running should be free from worry about individual body parts, they should just work and allow you to concentrate on suffering.

7. Same People, Different Day

I think that it is miraculous that no matter what happens you will end up racing the same people in every race that you run. It’s almost as if running is laughing at you, pointing out the futility of training. No matter how in shape or out of shape I am I will end up racing Michael Kiely. We have taken to saluting each other when the inevitable exchange of places happens.

8. Undulations

I think that this is a great 10k course. I really like the Tour de France style hairpin climb with the nice straight finish. It’s quite a fair course in terms of elevation so the times are real. I’d like to do it without spending the entire race monitoring my hamstring. It was organised perfectly, if it was on Saturday at 6pm or Sunday at 11am there probably would have been thousands at it.

9. Exchanging of Excuses

I think that another example of the futility of running was encountering Pauric McKinney after about 6k, I have vivid memories of racing him the only time I ever ran on snow in Derry in 2010. We ran together until the finishing straight when he destroyed me. I think the result was the same in 2010. After the race we exchanged excuses, he was up at 3am to drive from Donegal, I had my hamstring and arriving in Dublin at 1am. Excuses are vital and the only one who cares about your excuse is yourself but it feels good to exchange them.

10. Post Race

I think that the post race was perfect. I got a non winners medal and two expensive protein bars which was good value for the €25 entry fee, some people took as many bars as they could hold which was clever. My hamstring was the same as before the race after the race so I did a buggy run with a bawling Billy, smiling Matthew and delighted Sinead to warm down. Hopefully that’s my annual injury out of the way now.

Mallow 10 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Mallow 10 Mile

1. Mallow Castle

I think that it is amazing that I never knew that there was such a beautiful castle in Mallow. It is like that it was designed with the sole intention of hosting a road race. It is perfect, the two mile warm up loop along by the river couldn’t be any better.

2. Is it cruel or kind not to speak my mind?

I think that the amount of lies and false truths uttered before a road race is incredible. Every single person I met spun me some nonsense about taking it handy. Why? It makes no sense. It must be nerves or lack of confidence. It’s infuriating. I was so fed up of listening to nonsense that I stopped talking to people. In future I will remain silent rather than fill my brain with lies.

3. Masterplan

I think that my plan for today was terrible. I thought it was very clever, I looked on my windy app and saw that the wind would be favorable for the first seven miles. My cunning plan was to go out hard use the wind on my large back and get away from Viv and his hiding from the wind nonsense. I was hoping that by the time we would get to the headwind part on the way back to Mallow that I would be so far ahead that he wouldn’t be able to catch me. It was a very bad plan.

4. Quit While You’re Ahead

I think that I probably should have gone right at the roundabout and gone back to the car. Unfortunately, I have a terrible affliction that means that I forget the things that I learn about running. I learned a long time ago that running lots of races close together is not the cleverest thing even if it is great fun. As we ran down the hill towards the N20 roundabout I was in a nice group with Derek Griffin and John Kinsella. Then I started to feel my old familiar Next% hamstring niggle. As I switched focus from John Kinsella’s trail running scars to my own niggle suddenly I found myself falling further and further away from them. I knew it probably wasn’t going to get very bad as I’ve had the same niggle before. In hindsight I should have gone right and gone home and saved it for another day.

5. Rolling

I think that I forgot how rolling the Mallow course is. It is particularly rolling, there are no real hills just lots and lots of these little annoying hills that are desperate when you have a niggly hamstring. It’s hard to get a rhythm going. My only memory from the last time I ran it about 10 years ago was someone standing at 9 miles seeing that I was struggling to break 60 saying “that’s desperate, you’re better than that”.

6. Choice Words

I think that my hamstring niggle made me exceptionally cranky. As we approached the horse racing track I heard the sound of many Next%s and one Asics Metaspeed Edge approaching. When I turned my head right I saw Alan with Viv attached to his back. I don’t think I have ever been so disgusted to see anyone in my entire life. I made this fact known to Viv.

7. The Eagles

I think that it was almost personal how Alan and his shadow Viv dropped me. Combined with a niggly hamstring it was physically and mentally painful to watch them disappear up the road. I was left with Michelle Finn for company. I felt bad because I had earlier told Michelle that I had planned to do the same time as I did in Dungarvan which she thought was too quick. She was better off anyway with the annoyingly perfect pacing of Alan and Viv.

8. Diamond League

I think that it was a shame that I couldn’t help Michelle more in the race. Because of my niggle I could do nothing except try and hang on and try not to annoy my hamstring. I sat behind Michelle from mile 7 until mile 9, it was nice to get the Diamond League pacing experience.

9. Cramp

I think that the last mile of this race was one of the most terrible miles I have ever run. I was happy enough running along with Michelle, I even tried to help out for a bit. Then as we got to the section of road just before the finish where the road turned into a bumpy gnarly rumble strip I felt my right hamstring cramp up. It wasn’t particularly painful it just stopped functioning as a hamstring. I could see the clock up ahead taunting me almost if the time had been replaced with the words "It’s going to take you ages to get home". It took me what felt like an hour to reach the clock with my right hand attached to my hamstring not because it made it any better but so that people would feel sorry for me and perhaps understand what was going on.

10. Doesn’t Count

I think that I should get a free pass for this race. I don’t think any beatings should count as it was not a fair race. I told Damian who amazingly was the only person who passed me as I hobbled towards the line, that he couldn’t count it as a beating, he agreed. At least I have learned my lesson about doing too much again and I probably won’t forget it again for at least another year. It was a real pity as the race was so good, I would have loved to have destroyed Viv in a sprint again. Ah well, there’s always next time, hopefully.