Bone Stress Injuries

10 Things I Think About Bone Stress Injuries

1. Air Crash Investigation

I think that running injuries are a lot like plane crashes. It takes a number of things to go wrong before one will happen. In my case it involved a pine cone, a fall, a bad cut on a knee, a refusal to take a few weeks off to let the cut heal and trying to run enough mileage to run a marathon. Remove one of those things and there is a good chance that I’d have run 2:32 in Dublin and 2:22 in Valencia. Instead, I have spent the last 7 weeks staring at a screen while cycling a bike and handing out bottles at a marathon.

2. Six to Eight Weeks

I think that the four most feared words in running are “6 to 8 weeks”. This is the answer any physio or doctor will give you to the question how long will it take for my injury to get better? 6 to 8 weeks is actually medical code for “I haven’t a clue, but most minor things get better in two months, go away and leave me alone and don’t be coming in every week looking for some magical treatment that will make it better”. 6 to 8 weeks is scarily accurate with stress fractures of the fibula and metatarsals I have found.

3. Grumpy Old Men

I think that when you get injured you will encounter three main types of people, those that don’t care that you are injured, those that feel sorry for you and those that are genuinely delighted that what they have been predicting for the last two years has finally happened. Talking to either of these three types of people will annoy you, the only type of person that you will be able to talk to without getting angry is another injured runner.

4. The Injury Formerly Known as a Stress Fracture

I think that I will still call my injury a stress fracture rather than a bone stress response in the right fibula. It sounds more dramatic and satisfies the grumpy old men who will be delighted by the words stress fracture. Because of past experience I knew what the start of a stress fracture feels like so I stopped running the week before Dublin Marathon and got an MRI before an actual fracture line developed like would have happened when I was 23 and completely mad.

5. The Protocol

I think that I could sell my stress fracture protocol at this stage. The protocol involves two weeks of nothing, no running, no cross training nothing. Then after two weeks I start Zwift or the cross trainer for an hour a day after four weeks add in a weekly run on the Alter G with some hopping and then after 7 or 9 weeks get back to a small bit of running. It’s a depressingly tried and tested protocol. Bones need loading to heal.

6. Cross Training

I think that it should be illegal to do any more than an hour of cross training. The cross trainer at the gym should alarm and stop if you try go over an hour and people in white coats should arrive to take you away to the injured runners asylum. There are few things as pointless as a cross trainer, at least on Zwift the man on the bike on the screen is cycling around an imaginary island which almost makes it feel worthwhile. All cross training must be logged to Strava, the only social media platform that can be used during injury.

7. Another Week

I think that the best way to cope with an injury is to take it week by week. “How’s the injury?”, “Grand, I should be back in another week or two”. It works even if you know it’s a lie, a week is manageable. 6 to 8 weeks seems too long, it couldn’t possibly take 6 to 8 weeks could it. Saying another week 6 to 8 weeks in a row is much easier on the head. As it gets better you can graduate to “another day or two”.

8. Pain

I think that the hardest part of the injury process is the last two weeks. If I hadn’t experienced countless stress fractures, I’d probably go back running after 4 weeks when the crippling pain was slightly gone but I now know that it’s best to wait for most of the pain to be gone. The pain of a stress fracture is unusual, it’s a deep nagging pain. In my case I can tell it’s all gone when I hop on it pain free for a few minutes and the leg doesn’t have a resonating sensation in it 10 minutes after the hopping.

9. Myths

I think that there are many myths when dealing with stress fractures. One of the big myths is that if you do any running on it over the course of the all-important 6 to 8 weeks the clock resets to zero. This is very untrue and is used by physios and doctors to scare runners into not running. If you have a stress fracture and a dog chases, you it is perfectly ok to run. The stress fracture will be fine, it might even feel better a few days after being chased by the dog due to the loading. Bones need loading to heal so a little hopping towards the end of the 6 to 8 weeks will speed things up.

10. The Fear

I think that once the injury is over it takes around 6 months for the fear to recede. For those 6 months every niggle will be a stress fracture, every ache another 6 to 8 weeks, every run a potential injury. Then gradually the madness will return, the fear will recede, and you’ll wonder how does anyone ever get injured before the confluence of events will occur again resulting in another 6 to 8 weeks of social media silence which is possibly the worst side effect of any running injury.

N.B Don’t take any of this as advice, as evidenced by getting a bone stress response in my right fibula I have no idea what I am doing and most of what I think is completely wrong.

This is what i think mri reports should look likE. tHE TEXT IS FROM MY MRI REPORT.

tHE FINDING NEAR THE TOP OF THE FIBULA IS THE LAST BONE STRESS INJURY I HAD IN 2021. tHIS DOESNT HURT AND WASN’T CAUSING ANY ISSUES BUT STILL SHOWS ON THE MRI REPORT. mri REPORTS OFTEN SHOW STUFF THAT ISN’T ACTUALLY AN INJURY.

Autumn Open XC 2023

10 Things I Think About The Autumn Open

1. Old Man Trial

I think that this was the third of hopefully at least 40 times that I will run the old man cross country trial. So far I’m three from three on at least making the reserves with one actual appearance when it was only against the North. I know that I’m far from the 6th best moderately old man at cross country in the country but it’s fun to actually try and qualify for something.

2. Bere Island to Dublin

I think that driving from Bere Island to Dublin in one weekend is not very good for running. To minimise the impact of the drive I stayed in bed until 11am had a quick breakfast and took of for Dublin. Billy and Rhona stayed at home because they had had enough driving for one weekend.

3. Experience

I think that the great thing about being a moderately old man is that you know stuff due to experience. I knew that the best time to arrive was about 1410 when all the people for the juvenile events would have left and I’d be able to drive right up to the start which I was. After an efficient double number collection, the regular and the M35 number, I was ready to warm up.

4. Portaloo Warmup

I think that the only problem with arriving 45 minutes before the start is that the warm up is a bit hectic. My warm up involved running over and back to the portaloo. My legs felt terrible mainly from the drive and a little bit from Bere Island.

5. How’re the Legs?

I think that it is wonderful self sabotage to be able to answer the question how are the legs immediately before a race, “they’ve been better, I ran a race yesterday”. Michael Harty found it funny, although he was probably laughing more out of pity than anything else, I’d love to believe it was envy but it doubt it.

6. Beware of the Youngfellas

I think that there should be a pre race safety briefing for the moderately old men and old men before the race. The main content of the briefing should be a warning not to try and go off down the hill after the youngfellas who are only doing three laps because you will end up in a sea of lactic acid after a lap. I gave myself the safety briefing and took it relatively handy off the start which is great fun especially the bit where it narrows on the spike breaking path that is supposed to be a sand pit according to the design document for the course but isn’t.

7. Downhill Progress

I think that I made most of my places up on the downhill section of the course. My general plan was to run as hard as I could down the hill and then hold position as best I could up the hill. I think it worked well. I definitely prefer the 2k lap over the 1.5k laps even if it is probably a slight bit slower.

8. Performance Gauge

I think that it is very difficult to gauge your performance in a race where there are youngfellas, moderately old men, old men and normal men. After two laps I could see the back of Brian Murphy and Pat Fitzgerald so I was happy enough. Then I caught Barry Twohig who looked like he had fallen fowl of the youngfellas on the first lap.

9. UCC

I think that I could probably have run a better third and fourth lap. I started to get a bit lazy on the hill being happy to just hold position when I should have been trying to catch people. Pat and Brian got slightly further away every lap and by the end I was left battling with Ben Smith who confusingly was wearing a UCC singlet rather than a Leevale singlet.

10. Eight Best Moderately Old Man

I think that 8th in the moderately old man category was the perfect position to finish in, I will probably get named as a reserve which is ideal as I have absolutely no money left for a trip to Glasgow in November. Hopefully some year I can qualify properly by coming fourth and not be subject to the risk of wild cards being selected ahead me due to my lack of any historical talent. I imagine this will take until I become a fairly old man, but sure what harm. I’ve plenty patience.

Bere Island 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Bere Island 5 Mile

1. Return to West Cork

I think that it is amazing that races in West Cork aren’t as popular as races in East Cork. There really isn’t much difference between Bere Island and Ballycotton, the hills are a bit bigger and the views are a bit more spectacular that’s about it. I don’t understand it. Everyone should come to West Cork.

2. Catch that Ferry

I think that the race in Bere Island is unusual in that you have two opportunities to be late. The first opportunity for lateness is to miss the ferry from the pontoon. The ferry was scheduled to leave at 1:30, we got there at 1:28. Rhona was quicker at getting Billy onto the ferry than I was at stuffing magic shoes and a selection of clothes into a bag before being the last man on the ferry.

3. Photo, Photo

I think that boats are my least favourite form of transport, I love planes and trains but boats scare me. I’m not very scared of them I just don’t trust them. I was a less than enthusiastic participant in a photo which involved Graham getting everyone on the boat to one end of the boat for a photo which seemed like something that would result in a Netflix documentary called “Race to Bere Island”.

4. Kenmare via Belfast

I think that it is nice not to have to register until the day of the race. On the walk up to the village I had an eye out for anyone who could make the humongous hill even more horrible. When I got to the hall I spotted Tommy from Kenmare back from Belfast. I sent Rhona in with the entry fee to register while I figured out how to beat a man who was going to be significantly quicker on the horrible hill.

5. Where’s My Singlet?

I think that it was inevitable that something would have gotten forgotten in the rush from the car to the boat. To forget your singlet is bad but to only have longsleeve t-shirts as an alternative is a major problem. Everyone knows that you can’t race in a longsleeve. After warming up which hardened my conviction that racing in a long sleeve was impossible I asked if anyone had a spare singlet. I was offered an Eagle one but I’m not Jeremy O’Donovan so I couldn’t, then Carol found a Beara AC training t-shirt which fitted perfectly so I took that.

6. Beara A.C

I think that it would be nice to run for a club like Beara A.C. The colours are very nice and the name is very clearly Irish which is better than Leevale which often gets confused with being from London which is very annoying. The t-shirt was very comfortable, I barely noticed the difference, I even got to have a photo with my new team mates before the start.

7. Strava KOM

I think that there should be a separate prize in the race for the first person to the top of the humongous horrible hill. At the start the three Kenmare lads took off in front. I was happy out to let them lead it out, the less photos of me in the race in the wrong club colours the less likely I was to fall foul of some AAI rule requiring a six month ban from racing which would be as bad as getting a stress fracture. Once we began the ascent of the humongous hill it was down to me and Tommy to duel it out on the hairpins like Pogacar and Vingegaard in the Tour. Tommy took the King of the Mountains prize on Strava opening a 50m gap over the top which I was happy enough to concede knowing what lay ahead. I grabbed a newspaper from the side of the road and stuffed it down my t-shirt to prepare for the descent.

8. The Descent

I think that that descent off the horrible hill is one of the best descents in a race. It is that perfect gradient where you can take full advantage of gravity, there is one section with a sweeping right hand bend that feels like being on a bike it’s so fast. I used my weight and height advantage to sweep past Tommy and put as much of a gap into him as I could before the gravity ran out. It was very good fun.

9. Momentum

I think that the best part of the course is the last three miles of the race. They are super fast with a nice surface and some nice views. I spent the last three miles worried that Tommy was going to catch me so I gave it everything I had. The last mile is particularly fun with its tiny little ups and downs. Right until the line I was convinced that a red Kenmare singlet was going to come flying by but it didn’t and my red t-shirt was first across the line.

10. The Pub

I think that it is a pity that the race only involves spending two hours on Bere Island. I did my warm down along the ParkRun course where I met lots of Civil Defence people out training. There was no wind so it was particularly pleasant. Then we all went back to the pub for tea, Erdinger, orange juice and excellent prize giving before hoping on the boat back to the car and my Leevale singlet which had remained in the boot. I had to bring the Maillot Rouge back with me to wash it. I’ll return it in Eyeries hopefully.

Alghero Half Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Alghero Half Marathon

1. 1% Sardo

I think that running a race in Sardinia was a lot like running in West Cork. It feels like my ancestral home. Unfortunately 23andMe can’t test for West Cork but it can test for Sardinia and apparently I am a tiny bit Sardinian somehow, 1% to be imprecise. The little bit of Sardinian in me returned home thanks to Ryanair and a flight from Cork to Alghero. There just happened to be a half marathon on too.

2. Medical Cert

I think that the hardest thing about races in Italy and France is the medical cert. Italy is even more difficult that France as you need both a medical cert and evidence of Athletics Ireland Membership which is surprisingly hard to prove. When I went to collect my number in Alghero on the day before the race they gave me my number no problem but said I’d have to return at 8am in the morning as the man from FIDAL (Italian AAI) needed to see better evidence of Rhona’s AAI membership.

3. The Man from FIDAL

I think that the Sardinians must have been more worried about Rhona winning the race than me. When I turned up to meet the man from FIDAL at the appointed time it turned out that he wanted to see evidence from a lot of Sardinians as well. The line was very long, it was quite entertaining to watch the person at the front of the queue plead and gesticulate at the man from FIDAL before eventually obtaining a number. While I was waiting, I spotted two lads wearing Cork Marathon t-shirts. They looked Sardinian so I presumed they had taken advantage of the flights. Then I reached the top of the queue, showed the man my evidence which he didn’t believe, this prompted the local race organiser to come over and in Italian say something along the lines of just give him the bloody number which he did.

4. Half not 10k

I think that after the delay with the man from FIDAL I was lucky not to miss the start. When we arrived at the line we found a lot of people ready to go, I ran off to get to the front before being told that it was the 10k start and not the half. This was both great and terrible as another 5 minutes was another 5 minutes of it getting hotter and hotter. By 0935 it must have been close to 30 degrees. Sure how hard could it be. After a bit of razzmatazz and some Italian I didn’t understand we were underway.

5. So Easy

I think that I have never felt as good as I did for the first three miles of the race. It was almost effortless, jogging along at the front of a race in Sardinia at 5:35 pace thinking this is going to be great, I’m going to win €500, I even gave an interview to the guys on the back of a moped videoing the race. It didn’t even feel hot with the low humidity and ample pine trees shading the course. It didn’t last.

6. Boa

I think that it was all going perfectly until we reached the boa at 9k. One of the things I like about doing races abroad is learning what things are in other languages. Boa seems to be turnabout in Italian. Anyway, the boa was the end of my chances. Suddenly 535 pace became impossible as did 1st place. The Sardinians seeing my weakness in the heat pounced and very quickly I was distanced.

7. Go On Boi

I think that no matter where you go in the world there will always be Cork people around. As the course was an out and back and out and back course we got to see everyone in the race. The guys in the Cork City Marathon t-shirts who I thought were locals who had been to Cork turned out to be Cork people who had gone to Sardinia. There must be lots of Sardinian blood in Cork.

8. Fertilia

I think that by the time the race reached the small town of Fertilia which is about the same distance from Alghero as Cork is from Ballincollig my race was over. The road between the two towns is sort of like the straight road just with a beach with crystal clear water, pine trees and sunshine in place of the flooded fields and a permanent headwind. Fertilia was very hot, hot enough to induce get home without ending up in the hospital on a drip mode.

9. Settle for Sette

I think that it was handy to have the Cork lads in the race as they were able to tell me where I was in the race. 7th. Unfortunately the money only went to 5th so the best I could hope for was a masters prize. By the last three miles it was way too hot for an Irishman even with a tiny bit of Sardinian blood, even the 100% Sardos were complaining. I spent the last mile wondering how I would explain how hot it was for Strava as the time was not going to earn many kudos on Strava. I never came up with a good way so I just took a screenshot of the weather forecast.

10. Podium

I think that it was only right that I got to stand on the top of the podium it being my homecoming race. I won my category and proving the man from FIDAL right Rhona won her category too. The podium was outside in the sun at 1pm by which time it was stand under a tree for fear of burning alive hot. Despite the heat, the podium was excellent. We both got wine and pasta which was handy, I just wish it hadn’t been so hot as I really wanted to win a race in Sardinia. I’ll have to go back again, or perhaps emigrate there. It’s a very very nice place, I can’t understand why my ancestor left.

Allihies 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Allihies 5 Mile

1. Hurricane Season

I think that after last year’s glorious sunshine in Allihies it was inevitable that this years event would be held in the tail end of a hurricane. Hurricane Lee I think. I knew last year wasn’t real West Cork weather so I was kind of happy to see the place without its make up on.

2. Top Gear

I think that if I did nothing else today driving from Kenmare to Allihies in sheets of rain and wind would have been a good thing to do. That road is amazing, I’m pretty sure I’ve cycled it before but it is almost better in a car where you don’t have to worry about your hands going numb and not being able to change gears.

3. Dwell Time

I think that this is the first time I’ve encountered dwell time at a race. Normally dwell time only happens during the week when you wait in the car for 30 minutes picking the fluff from the car key because you’ve no one to run with. I parked up in Allihies and spent 10 minutes trying to motivate myself to get out of the car into the wind and rain. Once I got out I realized it wasn’t very bad, just normal Galtees bad.

4. Reconnaissance

I think that it was a good idea to do a warm up lap before the race. The race might as well have been on a different circuit than last year because of the wind. It felt effortless running up the hill from the start which was great. Unfortunately after the left turn with the incredible view across the Atlantic, the wind was so strong that it was not possible to wear a hat during the race.

5. Dressing Room

I think that I was a good idea to collect all the runners in the hall before the race for the safety briefing. It wasn’t as unpleasant outside as it looked as who ever built Allihies obviously built it for days like this as it is perfectly sheltered from the vicious wind. After the excellent safety briefing we left the hall like we were heading out to play a match, a match where the score would likely be 0-1 to 0-0 with the winning point scored by the goalkeeper taking a kick out and the ball blowing back over his own bar.

6. Bobby

I think that it was great that Bobby from Kenmare decided to take the race out reasonably hard, after my reconnaissance lap I knew that the flat open road with the hurricane would be difficult so I was keeping something in reserve for that. Once we got to the corner with the downhill view across the Atlantic to Canada I swept around the side of Bobby and braced myself for the hurricane.

7. The Wall of Wind

I think that the worst conditions for running are wind. Wind is a terrible thing because you can’t see it or photograph it so people on Strava or Instagram can’t feel how hard it was and think that you were just slow. This wind was the sort of wind that after you’ve cycled into it you realise why all cyclists wear sunglasses even in winter. It was particularly terrible for Strava as it slowed me significantly.

8. Magic Road

I think that the most interesting part of the course was the downhill after the hurricane road. It was interesting because even though it was downhill the wind was so strong that it felt like running uphill, after a while gravity won out and the controlled fall down the hill to the surprisingly busy campsite began.

9. Posterized

I think that after one of the two laps I realized that trying to beat the time that Michael McMahon paced me to last year was not going to be possible. The woman who took the wonderful picture that posterized Michael McMahon was out on the same spot again this year. By the time I came by for the second time she had gone probably after realizing that a photo of a wet windswept haggard man with his singlet off to one side from the wind probably wasn’t going to be needed.

10. Goodie Bag

I think that the Beara races have the post race prize giving perfected. Like the pre race safety briefing it was an efficient affair with lovely colourful goodie bags that contrasted well with the grey clouds for the podium photos. I’m still unsure which version of Allihies I prefer the stormy or the sunny, they were both beautiful.

Castlegar XC 2023

10 Things I Think About The Castlegar XC

1. Cross Country Deficiency

I think that it has been too long since I ran a cross country race. Six months is a long time to go without suffering. No one really suffers on the road, they think they are suffering but they aren’t, suffering in running only occurs in cross country, even the magic spikes haven’t made it easy.

2. World Cross Country

I think that I wouldn’t be surprised if Galway ends up hosting the World Cross Country in February. The Croatians had it taken off them and I can think of no better place than Galway to host the World Cross. It has everything you could need, car parks, a good road from Dublin Airport, stands and a proper cross country course. Imagine it in Galway in February after five continuous months of rain, it would be wonderful, epic. It’ll probably end up in Abbottstown though, won’t it.

3. Magic Spikes

I think that magic spikes aren’t as great as I remember them to be. I have all of the magic spikes now, regular Dragonflys and XC Dragonflys. The cross country dragonflys are only for pure muck as they have the christmas tree shaped football ball studs that I imagine and hope will be amazing and a huge advantage over everyone else that doesn’t have them. For a Galway racecourse that seems to have seen no rain regular Dragonflys with 9mm normal pointy spikes were perfect, they just didn’t seem to have the same pop on the Galway grass as they had on that sand dunes surface in Donegal.

4. Youngfellas

I think that I felt very old on the startline, there were very many youngfellas running, way more than you’d see in a road race. There were also moderately old men like me that train with youngfellas who were able to run as fast as the youngfellas. The youngfellas and good moderately old men took off at a ridiculous pace and I was soon left wishing that it was a half marathon cross country race and not a 6k. A half marathon cross country race would be a great idea by the way.

5. Femke Bol

I think that we need more jumps in cross country races. We had many excellent jumps in Galway. They must have had a good summer as they had enough square bales to put many jumps in, I didn’t manage to count them as I was concentrating on not falling but they were great fun. I realised after a few laps that I was tall enough just to run over them but for the first few laps I was like Femke Bol changing legs trying to find the perfect lead leg. I reckon it’s my right leg.

6. Fast Eddies

I think that trying to catch someone in a cross country race is much more tormenting than on the road. I spent the first three laps desperately trying to pass Kerry Eddie who was confusingly wearing a Limerick Track Club singlet. It was tormenting. I would get right up onto the back of him down the lovely, wonderful hill before the first of the jumps, then he would gradually reopen the gap up the long winding windy hill.

7. Sweeping Bends

I think that the great thing about cross country races is that even if the race is on in the same place the course can change. The last time I ran in Galway in a cross country race I had my excellent lion like hair and beard from time when the barbers were closed for 18 months. The new course was great fun to run even if my hair wasn’t as excellent, it had downhills, sweeping bends and nice longish grass. The only change I would make is to let the grass longer to slow down the youngfellas.

8. Wind Socks

I think that the one thing that you are guaranteed in Galway is wind, the council should send you an automatic message on your phone when you arrive in Galway apologising for the wind. Fast Eddie from Kerry not Limerick seemed unaffected by the wind, they must have lots of wind in Kerry not Limerick too. Every time up that bloody hill into the wind the gap grew very annoyingly. At least it was entertaining to see the wind blowing the front group of youngfellas apart every lap.

9. No Progress

I think that it was very disappointing to make absolutely zero progress in the race. After a lap I was 10th, at the finish after three more laps I was 10th. This is the problem when you take 6 months off cross country, and you forget that you aren’t as good as you think you are at cross country. I can see now why Michael Herlihy doesn’t race so often as it’s a lot easier to just think about the few races that you won rather than deal with getting a bad beating from a load of youngfellas and Fast Eddie at Galway Racecourse.

10. No Photo, Great Coffee

I think that there is no worse feeling than crossing the finish line to see the top nine finishers lined up together delighted with themselves having a photo taken. From behind they all looked so happy in the photo, now no one will even know that I ran reasonably well in the race. Luckily Rhona took lots of photos of me jumping the bales so I can use those instead for Instagram and make it look like I was great. After a good long warm down to make up miles for Strava and the marathons I got the nicest coffee at a cross country race since Nick O’Donoghue brought his van to the wettest cross-country race in history in Whites Cross. Good coffee and good cross country go well together, coffee must be one of the things World Athletics look for in a cross country venue.

Charleville International Half Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Charleville International Half Marathon 2023

1. Colouring Book

I think that a race is a lot like colouring book. The few days before a race it’s all talk about who’s going to run, who’s going to run what, what’s the weather going to be like etc. The Charleville Half Marathon page of the running colouring book changed many times before the race, there was a Ryan Creech but he was rubbed out, there was a sun, but that was also rubbed out too, the humidity stayed, however humidity is drawn in a coloring book.

2. Emmett Dunleavy Dew Point

I think that as one of the only people left in the county who is not coached by Emmett Dunleavy it is great that he puts his advice on Instagram. Emmett’s post on the impact of dew point on running performance was great and terrible to see. The main point of the post was that dew point 18 degrees, which is what was forecasted for Charleville, was worth nearly 3 minutes for a 70 minute half marathon. The only thing the post didn’t say was whether you are to adjust your effort or if you just run like you normally do and don’t be surprised or devastated when you are 3 minutes slower than expected.

3. Foggy Dew

I think that it was great to wake up on Sunday morning and find a thin blanket of fog lying over the county. The fog went all the way up to Charleville. It seemed a little cooler than the day before but the air was definitely heavy. I didn’t check the dew point as it’s a hard thing to check without using a phone. I decided that as it didn’t feel hot I’d just run it like a normal race and not adjust effort.

4. Efficiency

I think that the best thing about Charleville is how efficient the race is. The parking situation is the best of any race in the county with a multistorey car park 100m from the registration. I was parked and registered in 10 minutes which was just as well as I was quite late as was noted by the similarly late Rory Chesser. On the jog up to the start I did an interesting interview with the newest innovation at the Charleville Half Marathon full video coverage via Michael Meade.

5. Sweaty Start

I think that you could probably tell that the dew point was close to the Emmett Dunleavy limit on the start line. Everyone looked very sweaty after the warmup. The sweat was just lying there with the air unwilling to take anymore moisture. Club singlets were not as plentiful as normal with most people opting for the lightest possible fabric. What didn’t make any sense is the number of black singlets. Why do people buy black singlets? When we got underway it was a lethargic start, they must all have been Emmet Dunleavy athletes.

6. More Suffering

I think that after a mile the pace decided itself. I went through the first mile in 5:15 which felt like 5:30 with the downhill. A big group led by Michael McMahon formed around the 5:30 pace. Nearly everyone else in the group was wearing black singlets so I didn’t know who they were. After about three miles, not happy with the amount of suffering that 5:30 pace was inflicting, Michael McMahon started looking for volunteers to go faster. He found one willing person in Andy Nevin so off they went at what I estimated at 5:29 pace. My group of fellas in black singlets and Brian Murphy remained at 5:30.

7. 5:30s

I think that 5:30 pace is a very pleasing pace to run at. We cruised along the long flat straight road to Kilmallock at 5:30 pace. 5:30 pace is around 72 minutes which would have been great given the three-minute handicap that the dew point was giving us. It is interesting how you know a pace is right, it doesn’t involve checking a watch or looking at heart rate. It’s a feeling, it’s not something you can be taught it’s a thing you have to learn.

8. Water Stop Gap

I think that there should be an etiquette around water stations. I think that it is unacceptable to accelerate through the water stations. The worst example of this came in Kilmallock. My group had been reduced to Brian Murphy and a black singlet who turned out to be Derek Griffin. I was happy out in the group but when we went through the water station they sped up and got a gap which I spent the next mile closing. It was very unsportsmanlike.

9. 15K

I think that I was very happy until I got to 15k. After catching back up to Derek and Brian I felt fine. I was waiting for the hot feeling to start but it never did. When we passed the 15k mark I don’t know if the sight of Sean Hehir walking distracted me but I started to drift off the back of Derek and Brian. When we turned right out onto the three mile road back to the finish the lads accelerated through the water station again so I was left to run solo back to Charleville which was quite unpleasant and a lot slower than it would have been with the group.

10. Fully Coloured In

I think that the fully coloured in version of the Charleville Half Marathon looked very similar to what I had forecasted. I ended up losing about 30 seconds to Brian Murphy and Derek Griffin in the last three miles finishing nearly exactly on the 73 minute mark that I had forecasted due to the dew point and not due to my athletic ability. It was good enough for 10th place six minutes behind Michael Harty which wasn’t too bad. Hopefully next year both the dew point and the time will be lower.

Photo: gRAHAM MEIKLE

Glengarriff 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Glengarriff 5 Mile

1. West Cork

I think that West Cork is my true home. West Cork is one of the only places that I can go and people will assume that I am a local because of my name. There is no more West Cork name than Coakley. So driving an hour and a half from the city for a race doesn’t seem too mad.

2. McElhinneys

I think that my chances of winning in Glengarriff depended mainly on the absence of McElhinneys. There is a great risk of one or even two of them turning up rendering the task of winning impossible. Luckily, they must be on a break or miles from West Cork as there was no Darragh or Eoghan present.

3. Airports

I think that spending 12 hours in an airport the day before a race is a very bad way to prepare for a race. I had to go to Germany for work which is normally a nice trip but British Airways had to replace one of the wheels on the plane in Dusseldorf so I missed my connection back to Cork. You can read a lot of newspapers and magazines in 12 hours.

4. Red GPS

I think that it is very important to sync your watch with your phone after returning from abroad so that the GPS gets back on track. I forgot to do this so on the start line in Glengarrif I was left with every modern-day runner’s worst nightmare, a red bar on the GPS signal. I contemplated not bothering running as if it isn’t on Strava it didn’t happen but I reckoned it might right itself after a few miles so at least I’d have something to put up as evidence.

5. Beara Weather

I think that the weather in Beara is amazing. It is like it has it’s own unique climate, either that or Mark Gallagher has a secret weather machine that he uses to guarantee sunshine for 2.30pm whenever there is a race on. The weather machine must have a new feature this year as not only was it sunny but it was hot, proper hot, like Spain hot.

6. New Footpath

I think that we should all vote for the Green Party again so that there can be more new footpaths like the new one in Glengarriff. They seem to be very proud of the new footpath as at the start we were told that we would be disqualified if we didn’t stay on it. We were very conscious of this so when we got to the right hand turn in the town where the footpath begins, we all went to turn right only to find it taped off. I was worried we would be disqualified but luckily the new footpath only began outside the town so we were all safe from disqualification.

7. Kenmare McElhinney

I think that it is great to see young fellas running road races. It is not so good for my chances of winning, but it is good for the sport. The first mile of the race is very uphill so when I reached the top I was terrified to find that there was a young fella from Kenmare with track runner form wearing Darragh McElhinney style shorts right behind me.

8. Potential Trouble

I think that if someone is still with you at two miles into a race you might be in trouble. I was hoping that after my week in Font Romeu I would be able to drop the young fella from Kenmare on the trails. Unfortunately he seemed to be even better than me on the nice perfectly groomed free from deadly rocks trails. When we got to the two mile mark he was right on my back. I began to picture the finish in my head where the young fella with the track runner form would dance away from me and make me look like the moderately old man that I am.

9. Groovy Gravel

I think that the great thing about racing young fellas is that they rarely venture beyond five kilometers in races. This was the one hope that I had. Sure enough from mile three to four the sound of the youngfella’s vaporflys crunching the perfectly groomed gravel started to grow fainter and fainter until all I could hear was the lead bike in front. I was still worried about the finishing road mile so I had to open as much of a gap as I could on the winding trails. The winding trails are so much fun to run at a pace so it was easy to find the motivation to push a bit.

10. Grand Slam

I think that it is still a grand slam if you win all four races in series consecutively even if they aren’t in the same year. I think they called it the Serena Slam in tennis when Serena Williams did it. Coming into the home straight which finishes with a steep climb to the finish I was terrified that the young fella from Kenmare was flying after me so I sprinted as hard as I could which is a barely noticeable increase in pace. Thankfully I had opened a gap just big enough that there was no sprint finish with the Kenmare McElhinney. Keep an eye out for the name Tommy Arthur he will be good.

Headington 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Headington 5 Mile

1. Oxford

I think that Oxford is like what Cork would be like if UCC took over the city. It’s a very similar size to Cork with similar buildings just more of them and with more money.

2. Run Britain

I think that we need something like the Run Britain website. I thought that using the AAI number every time you run a race would result in a magic database like Power of 10 where you and everyone else could look up how great you ran in the Galbally 10 mile and compare it from year to year. Instead the data must be sitting unused and unloved on a server in County Meath.

3. Iffley Road

I think that warming up from the hotel up to the track at Iffley Road was a good idea. The race was on in Headington which is like the Ballincollig of Oxford, 15 minutes out the road. I didn’t get to run on the track but I had a look in over the wall. Like most things in Oxford it was nice.

4. Civilised Start Line

I think that people at home behave like wild animals on the start line  in comparison to the civilised approach in Oxford. The start was in a field across from the registration. When we arrived there everyone was just standing around waiting in no particular order. Then before the start a man with a megaphone came out and called out 5 mile times, 25 to 27, 27 to 30 etc and we all lined up in order. Amazing.

5. The Contenders

I think that the UK must be the only place in the world with as good a local road race standard as Ireland. On the start line there was a guy in a Swansea Harriers singlet who looked handy and said he was going for 25 minutes. There was also a fella from Oxford University who looked like Oxford’s version of JEP. Once we got under way the Swansea fella and Oxford JEP were gone.

6. Thank You Marshal

I think that we could all do with a lesson in race manners. Oxford is a very polite place, Rhona said that during the race all the people she was running with would say “Thank You Marshal” as they passed each marshal. They’d be lucky to get a grunt in Cork.

7. Organisation

I think that they must have issues with road closures for races in Oxford. The race route was unusual and imaginative. For the first two miles we were on an old cycle path that ran alongside a main road, sort of like how the Glounthaune one will look like in 50 years time. Then for the last three miles we zig zagged our way around housing estates until we came back onto a cycle path for the last mile. It was perfectly measured and impeccably marshalled. Almost overly organised, I can imagine there was a man with a clipboard and a checklist somewhere who was very happy.

8. Two Plus Four

I think that I should have made more of an effort to stay with the group that I found myself in after two miles. The Swansea runner and Oxford JEP were well gone so I was left in a group with two young fellas and an English Viv who was wearing a Woodstock singlet. I was fine on the cycle path but as soon as we entered the zig zag housing estate section the two young fellas dropped us with their agility and likely local knowledge leaving me in a familiar position battling with an M50.

9. Slippery Sludge

I think that there needs to be a name for the slippery black sludge that collects at the corner of cycle paths. I nearly slipped and fell again during the fourth mile. I was chasing English Viv and slipped on some sludge on a sharp turn into an underpass. I managed to catch the sludge slid but was a little afraid for the rest of the race so I just followed the Woodstock singlet of English Viv.

10. Checkout

I think that a race between English and Irish Viv would be a great race, it will probably happen in the British and Irish XC. English Viv destroyed me in the last 400m just like Irish Viv would have. I ended up 6th which was perfect as there were no prizes for 6th so we could get back to the hotel to checkout on time. I had time for a quick chat with the lads that beat me during which I managed not to mention the B word much.

Rathcormac 4 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Rathcormac 4 Mile

1. Nice Evening

I think that the best thing about local summer evening races is that you can just decide to do them 30 minutes before the start. I was supposed to be on Billy minding duty, which on the drive up to the race changed to tormenting John Meade duty. It was a nice sunny calm evening and it would have been a shame to let the opportunity pass.

2. Gentrification

I think that Rathcormac has been changed beyond recognition. My only memories of Rathcormac are of as a child it still being another hour to the city and a place we never stopped in unless my grandfather wanted to go to the eating house. Now it looks like a place you might actually stop in now with a nice running loop and a very good road race.

3. Warm Up

I think that there is no need for a warm up when you have done 10 miles at lunchtime. Instead after parking in the impressive car park I jogged the 250m over to the efficient registration where thankfully they hadn’t closed the registration despite it being 20 minutes before the start. On the jog back I saw everyone who normally runs theses races.

4. Proper Racing

I think that it is great when random tourists turn up to these road races. The start was about half a mile from the car park, on the start line John Meade was talking to a fella wearing Vaporfly 3s who was wearing an unusually professional looking singlet. An Australian tourist apparently. He looked like he meant business. Once the siren went off the tourist took off like Michael Harty. Proper Racing it said on the back of his singlet.

5. Wine Country

I think that a mile outside Rathcormac is an unusual place to be offered wine during a road race. I know they do this sort of thing in Bordeaux but it would be unusual in Mid Cork. Wine obviously isn’t as plentiful as in Bordeaux as this guy was charging €50 for his wine. No one seemed to take him up on it.

6. Horses for Courses

I think that the Rathcormac tourist board must have good funding. Not only did we have wine on course but in that first mile we also had beautiful horses on the course. Perhaps they are targeting the Australian market hard. The Aussie must have been very impressed with the first mile.

7. The Catch

I think that the Aussie tourist showed us no respect. He must have looked around on the start line and thought, moderately old man, moderately old man, tanned man with silly sunglasses, moderately old man and decided that it would be beneath him to run with us. These moderately old men were having none of it and after a mile we had caught the disrespectful Aussie. John Meade looked like he was angry.

8. The Detachment

I think that it is a great pity that my legs were not able to observe the second half of the great battle between our moderately old men, Darragh and the Aussie tourist. After two miles I had nothing and had to drop off and let them go. In the end Darragh taught the disrespectful Aussie a lesson. The Aussie John Meaded John Meade which was great, James McCarthy was 4th and Barry 5th. I was 6th a good bit back.

9. No Lizzie

I think that I might have ran home faster if Lizzie hadn’t gone to Lombardstown instead. My only fear once dropped by the lead group was getting caught by Lizzie, I’m still haunted by that four miler in Fermoy when she beat me when I was extra hairy and had a broken foot. Anyway there was no Lizzie and I ran home admiring the beautiful Rathcormac countryside. Visit Rathcormac.

10. Last of the Summer Sun

I think that the warm down after the race was one of those warm downs that makes you wish the summer would go on forever. It is no harm that it is nearly over as I badly need to do training for marathons so I can finally be faster than Michael Herlihy. Because I ended up sixth in the race so I didn’t get any prize which was a pity as I would have liked a bottle of Rathcormac wine. I hope they gave the Aussie a bottle as a prize.

Cork City 10 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Cork City 10 Mile

1. Don’t Change Anything

I think that it was wonderful that the old course was used instead of the new course with the massive hill. This is possible the most perfect 10 mile race route in the world, combine it with perfect organization and you have one of the best races in Ireland. Unfortunately, it looks like the perfect course is on borrowed time with the Monahan Road bridge. Maybe they could build another tunnel instead, running is way more important than cars.

2. Genuinely Magic Shoes

I think that I would not have been able to run this race if it were not for magic shoes. I’m struggling very badly at the moment with the wound on my knee. It seems like it is taking forever to get better. Everyday there is some new weird and wonderful compensatory injury associated with being an idiot and running on it. It seems to be settling now but I have upset some nerves in my knee. When I put on my new Balance 880s to warm up I couldn’t really run, it wasn’t painful just I couldn’t do the motion of running. So I tried the Vaporfly 3s and it was fine, well fine enough so I warmed up in them and decided to race.

3. Hassan Start

I think that Sifan Hassan is what every runner should aspire to be. The world championships would be a lot more interesting and longer if everyone was made to run the 1500, 5k and 10k. At the start I had to use the Hassan method of jogging off the line and slowly getting up to speed because my nerves weren’t working. Once we were half way down centre park road everything started working and I could move up to the back of the group containing all the people I’d like to beat or at least run with for a while.

4. Ample Water, Ample Humidity

I think that it took about two miles for the heat and humidity to become noticeable. Cork in August is not a good place to be running 10 miles, it is up there with Galbally in July. The conditions are not conducive to ego improving times. At least in Galbally there are mountains to blame but in Cork there aren’t many mountains so it is a little harder to take when you don’t run as excellently as you expected. Luckily there were water stations everywhere so you could never blame your performance on a lack of water. If they could just reduce the amount of water in the air we’d be good.

5. The Beautiful Bunch

I think that there was a wonderful bunch to run with for the first five miles. It was very big, must have been nearly 15 people in it at one stage. Poor Michael McMahon was involuntarily appointed leader of the group and had to set the pace for the first 3 miles. As we passed the Marquee junction, we were given the most pointless piece of information ever, the time gap to Michael Harty, 90 seconds.

6. Mount Blackrock

I think that Strava makes it look like something changed after 5 miles, I was happy out in the bunch until we reached Blackrock village. I still can’t really run up hills with my knee so I tried to get to the front of the bunch before the hill so I could drift back. Unfortunately, instead of drifting slowly like I had imagined I was spat out the back along with Tom and that was the end of my time in the bunch.

7. Wrong Direction

I think that the race should be run like we do sessions around Blackrock. Just reverse the route based on the wind direction. There is nothing better than running around Blackrock with the wind at your back knowing that you don’t have to give it back because of the shelter of the line. Unfortunately getting dropped from a big bunch with today’s wind direction was not pleasant. Two miles of suffering along an overly familiar route with the overly familiar sight of fellas running away into the distance. At least it wasn’t John Meade and Mike like it is the rest of the time.

8. Passenger Tom

I think that it was great to have Tom for company after being dropped from the bunch. He told me he was suffering which probably means he wasn’t suffering as much as me as I couldn’t talk. I’m well used to suffering around Blackrock normally chasing Mike in some pointless session so I was probably the best person that Tom could have had to drag him around. I could see James Hayes getting slightly detached from the splinter group from the main group so I had something motivating me.

9. Racehorses vs a Donkey

I think that I couldn’t have picked two worse fellas than James Hayes and Tom to have to race over the last half a mile of a race. I dragged myself and Tom up onto to back of James which took quite an effort down the line. As we went around the Atlantic Pond someone told us we were 9th 10th and 11th. 11th will do I thought, 11th and not crocked after a pointless sprint. So I left the lads battle it out and ran home without hate or motivation.

10. Ghosts of the Past

I think that I will have to fix my knee before I race again. It is only 90% of the fun to race with a niggle. After the race lots of people were looking at my wound, no one stuck their hand into it but a dog did lick it so perhaps that will do the trick. I was a little disappointed in the time because it was nearly a minute slower than I ran in 2019 when I ran in a pair of Brooks Ghosts and everyone else had magic shoes. Perhaps it’s time to return to the Ghosts.

photo: thE SNAPPER

Stryker 4 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Stryker 4 Mile

1. Wounded Warrior

I think that it is apt that in Irish Coakley is Caochlaoich which translates to Blind Warrior or Hero. At the moment I am a wounded warrior operating with a terrible wounded knee after a fall on a trail in Font Romeu. Michael Herlihy being the brave warrior that he is on hearing of my terrible wound decided to enter his first BHAA race since he won the Cork Marathon.

2. Visible Injury

I think that having a cut as an injury is interesting. It is a lot easier when the injury is visible to watch the healing progress. I imagine a muscle tear must look similar to a cut just that it is hidden under skin so you can’t see it healing and getting better day by day. It seems to be a lot easier to accept a day off for a cut than it is when I have had muscle injuries as I can almost see it getting better hour by hour. Perhaps someone needs to invent a handheld ultrasound for mad insane lunatic runners so that they can see their muscle tears on a screen every day to persuade them to take time off.

3. Knearly Perfect

I think that while there was an element of bravery involved in turning up to race Michael Herlihy with a knee wound, my knee was pretty much back to normal during the warmup. I was worried that I would have to bail out after the warmup but the cut had healed enough so that I could run with my normal odd high knee lift running style which felt good after a full week of not being able to run properly.

4. Wild Youth

I think that it would be great to be young again, well maybe not young but like closer to 30 than 40. When the siren went it was like an age filter. The young fellas like Denis and Eric tore off probably because their reactions are better and immediately opened a gap. The 35-45 age group pack were left to gradually get up to speed slowly before reaching cruising speed after about 800m at which stage the gap to the young fellas stabilized.

5. Mount Train Station

I think that it is amazing how bad Michael Herlihy is at going up hill and how good Barry and John Meade are. As we approached the hill over the train line Mike came up on my shoulder, I was worried about the hill as I’m having some trouble getting up hills where I have to lift my knee higher. I needn’t have worried as the minute we hit any sort of a gradient Mike was out the back door. Barry and John Meade pushed on closing the gap to Denis, Eric and the fella from Bandon ever so slightly. I was able to follow with a little assistance from Kris.

6. Aggressive Meade

I think that John Meade brings his A game to BHAA races. There was a viciousness to John Meade in this race that I haven’t seen in a while. It must have been the extra few days of elite level training in Font Romeu. Once we crested the second of the two mini hills and turned left I went past John, Barry and Kris with the aid of the slight downhill. I thought I was putting in a good effort down the hill but as we approached the deadly bends, I felt a push from John Meade before he bustled by as if I was slowing him down and he had no time for my level of running.

7. White’s Cross Bullet

I think that John Meade’s second two miles of the race were very impressive. After bustling by with unnecessary levels of aggression John Meade locked onto the back of the fella from Bandon in the third mile. It was a sight to behold to watch him hunt down the Bandon singlet almost as if it was an affront to his being for someone to threaten his record of finishing on the podium in every BHAA race since 2008. I was left with Barry Twohig who I hoped would help me to stay well clear of Mike all the way to the line. As we approached the three-mile mark I’d almost written Mike off as he hadn’t been seen or heard of since the first of the two mini hills.

8. Barry Gone

I think that if Barry hadn’t put in such a vicious surge just after the final left turn onto the main road I’d have been safe from Mike. The last mile is deceptively uphill and particularly nasty when there is a headwind. Barry took off after John Meade and the fella from Bandon leaving me floundering and terrified of Mike. I began to think too much about my knee and slowly but surely I heard the ominous sound of a large man in a yellow singlet wearing Asics magic shoes approaching before he stormed by delighted with himself.

9. Vicious Assault

I think that Michael Herlihy should be disqualified from the race. As per section 17.2.2 of the World Athletics rules any athlete that makes deliberate avoidable contact with another athlete with the sole purpose of gaining an advantage should be disqualified. The vicious assault came in the trail section just before the finishing straight. When Mike passed me he immediately slowed up very quickly as he no longer had motivation so I retook the position. Then as we entered the short trail section, he tried to cut up the inside of me. As we are two oversized athletes there wasn’t room on the narrow trail, so he dug his arm into my back and levered me out of the way forcefully. Fearing another terrible fall in my already wounded state, I had no option but to let him by and hope that I could get him in the home straight.

10. Lucky Number Seventh

I think that I was lucky to get through the race unscathed. I probably could have overhauled Mike on the sprint to the line but we had caught up to the fella from Bandon who had been dispatched by John Meade and Barry so Mike had extra motivation to the line. In the end I was happy enough to let Mike have this one, with there being only 3 seconds between us and in my wounded state it felt almost better than a victory. I was going to lodge an official complaint about the physicality of John Meade and Michael Herlihy, but I decided it was best to say nothing. No one would have believed me about John Meade anyway.

photo: joe murphy

Streets of Galway 8k 2023

10 Things I Think About The Streets of Galway

1. Deadly Rocks

I think that if it wasn’t for deadly rocks in Font Romeu I’d have been in far better shape for the Streets of Galway. I got through 7 days of deadly rocks without a stumble, even John Meade had fallen and bounced back like a cat, then on the last morning a poorly placed pine cone tripped me up on a silly 5 mile trail run that I will regret possibly forever. I ended up with cuts all over but the worst one was on my left knee, a cut bad enough to need two days off, which seems like an eternity to an addict like me.

2. America

I think that there might have been more Americans in Galway on Saturday evening than Cork runners in history that have done the Streets of Galway. It is amazing that more don’t come up to Galway. It’s a little closer than Dublin but far better. Myself and Rhona seemed to be the only Cork people entered. I can’t understand it, even the road is reasonable now there’s no excuse. There wasn’t even another race in Cork.

3. Altitude

I think that I will have to channel my inner Stephen Scullion and blame my performance on it being the fourth day after coming back from altitude. I’m not sure if it actually counts when you’ve only been there for a week but it is very important to have more than one thing to blame and elites seem to blame altitude timing for everything.

4. The Streets

I think that the race is as good as everyone makes it out to be. There is a wonderful atmosphere at the start. Any race where you get to stop the traffic of an entire city for an hour is a great race, it’s even better in Galway because it highlights how bad it is. The route is wonderful taking in all the parts of Galway that should be pedestrianized and used primarily for running and cycling. I didn’t really get to enjoy it properly because of my knee but it seemed like it was fast especially when the wind is from the west which it normally is and when it isn’t raining which it normally isn’t.

5. Swamped

I think that after about 100m of the race I realized that it probably wasn’t the best idea to be racing with a cut knee. I was ridiculously late getting to the start so my warm up wasn’t enough to determine whether or not it was ok to race. I had no pain which was crucial, my definition of pain is something caused by running. I had discomfort which was caused by having to bend my cut knee when running which is different to pain. Within a few seconds I was well back mainly because I was terrified of my knee and kind of had to go through a start up checklist where you check everything as you get up to speed.

6. Brain Inhibited

I think that it is a very odd experience trying to run with a cut knee. I was able to run but I had to concentrate as my brain didn’t want to do the movement of running. I looked at my watch as we ran up through Eyre Square and saw 5:20 pace which was acceptable, sure if I just keep this going it will be fine. I was kind of trying to find the maximum pace where nothing could go wrong which I successfully achieved. It had just rained which is inevitable in Galway so the corners were quite slippy so I was glad to have the Vaporfly 3 and not the 1s on.

7. Soar

I think that one of the interesting things I learnt in Font Romeu is that John Meade doesn’t like the brand Soar as thinks it’s like Lululemon for running. I only have one pair of shorts but even that is enough to annoy John Meade. Once we went past the Cathedral a group formed containing a lot of fellas wearing non club singlets. One was wearing a Soar t-shirt which made me think he might be English and good because the only way you could possibly buy the gear after brexit is to be English. English runners are normally good so I was happy to run along with him for a while.

8. Ide

I think that it is always a good strategy to run with the leader of the women’s race if you want to maximize your social media exposure. As we approached the left hand turn onto the Salthill prom my group of expensively clothed runners had closed the gap to Ide. Ide just ran faster than most fellas for 5k on the track so I began to think that the cut knee was no problem at all. Perhaps the altitude training had negated the cut knee.

9. The Salthill Vacuum

I think that the last 2k of the race along the massive car park that is the prom was amazing. It was like running in a vacuum which is very unusual for Galway as it is normally impossible to hear yourself think nevermind someone talk with the wind while running along there. I wish my knee was working properly as I would have flown home with the wind on my large back. Instead I was happy enough to run along at whatever speed was unlikely to result in a compensation injury.

10. The Claddagh Ring

I think that there is a wonderful finish to the race. I tried my best to catch Ide but couldn’t. I wasn’t willing to sprint so I finished just close enough to Ide to appear on the finish line video on the internet. Once we crossed the line I was directed away from the winners ring and off for a bottle of water and a banana. One of the greatest things you can do in running is to estimate where you would have finished in a race you didn’t run, lots of people would have won lots of races, my version is where I would have finished if I wasn’t compromised by something. I probably would have been top 10 if it wasn’t for my knee. I’ll have to comeback next year to prove it, maybe a few other people from Cork will come too.

Cursa D’Age 2023

10 Things I Think About The Cursa D’Age

1. Four Years

I think that it is amazing that it is four years since I last did this race back in 2019. Time evaporates. I wasn’t even an old man the last time I raced, there were no magic shoes and there was no Billy. The course had changed from an approximados 6.4k to an approximados 8k in the meantime so there could be no assessment of the impact of the changes.

2. Forty Years

I think that it is great when races have history. The Cursa D’Age has been going for forty years which is as long as the Ballycotton 10 lasted for. Age is very similar to Ballycotton as it is a tiny little town on the edge of a country. They had photos and results of the very first race displayed at the race headquarters which was outside it being Spain.

3. Roads Closed

I think that we were lucky to make the race. There are a number of ways to get from Font Romeu where we were staying to the race in Age. I had seen that the steep road through Egat was closed due to a rally so I went via Saillagouse which would be a wonderful name for a town in Kerry. John Meade and Conor took the Irish meaning of road closure and tried unsuccessfully to negotiate with a French policeman. Either way we all ended up arriving 20 minutes before the start.

4. No Warm Up

I think that you can get very used to having a minimal warm up. I normally blame my lack of a warm up on Billy and Rhona making me late but in reality it is nothing to do with them and it is just that my lateness has deteriorated over time due to doing too many races and losing the ability to get worried about being on time. As a result arriving 20 minutes before the start wasn’t an issue. John Meade doesn’t do warm ups and Conor wasn’t particularly worried about the race it being his first race in months so we were all fine at the start.

5. Usual Madness

I think that BHAA races down the Marina would be lethal if everyone started like they start races in Spain. I had forgotten how utterly mad it is. They all go off at sub 5 minute mile pace regardless of ability or past races. After about 400m I was in about 15th place way back. As we wound our way through the narrow short streets of Age everyone suddenly started to come back to me. 500m into an 8km race is a bit early to be blowing up but that seems to be the way to run in Spain. Once we had left the town of Age after 800m it was down to myself, John Meade and three runners who looked like me but who were from Spain / Andorra / France / Catalunya.

6. Decathlon

I think that I was most worried about the guy who appeared to be sponsored by Decathlon. The last time I raced a Decathlon athlete I got a bad beating. My suspicions were wrong as after about 4k when we turned left just before the town of Puigcerda it was down to myself John Meade and a strong looking athlete in a high viz singlet and a pair of orange Alphaflys. Always beware the fella in Alphaflys who is still there after 2 miles.

7. Deadly Rocks

I think that one of my favourite things about racing in Spain is that it is actually bright enough to wear sunglasses. The truth is that in Ireland the sun is watery and even on the sunniest day unless you are cycling a bike and need to keep the flies out of your eyes sunglasses are for appearance purposes only. In Spain they are almost essential unless you are John Meade. Unfortunately after 5k the race moved from smooth tarmac to a section of shaded trail sprinkled with deadly rocks. Deadly rocks are my nemesis so in order to ensure that I could see them I had to place my sunglasses on my head reducing the potential for excellent photos for Instagram.

8. The Trail

I think that the guy in the high viz singlet did very well to destroy John Meade on the 2k of trail that we had to run on. The key thing on a section of trail is to make sure you are at the front as you have to leave a gap to the runner in front to see where the deadly rocks are. As we made our way onto the part of the trail with the greatest number of deadly rocks the high viz runner pushed his way past John Meade and gradually opened a gap as we navigated our way uphill through the deadly rocks. I had to leave a similar gap to John Meade and soon enough we were equally distanced from each other.

9. There’s Still a Chance

I think that if John Meade had cooperated with me on the last downhill kilometre I could have got him close enough to the high viz runner in order to launch his trademark final sprint. Instead he was more concerned with staying just ahead on the downhill into the finish. I got very close but never close enough to help while the high viz runner stayed agonisingly just out of reach. As we passed the 8k marker which was about 200m from the finish the high viz runner looked behind before picking the pace up again to ensure that he was well clear of John in second and myself in third. Conor finished eventually in seventh and will soon return to destroying us all.

10. Podium

I think that my favourite podiums are in Spain. It doesn’t matter that the podium isn't until 12 when the race started at 9:30 as the weather is lovely. I had hoped that Billy would do the 150m race for the three year olds but we had a refusal at the start so we had to abandon. Thankfully he was much more interested in the podium and went up at least three times. On the podium the man with the mic was convinced that myself and John Meade were from different countries. I was from Scotland and John Meade was from Ireland. I’m unsure why, are Scottish people more tanned than Irish people? Sure what harm. We got lots of trophies and lots of goodie bags, exactly what you’d want from a holiday race.

Churchtown South 4 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Churchtown South 4 Mile

1. Six Years Later

I think that it is a terrible shame that the Ballycotton 5 Mile series doesn’t exist anymore. It was the greatest road race series ever by miles. It is six years since the last one in 2017. Looking back at the results makes you realise how utterly pointless training is. 6 years ago I finished just ahead of Viv, Donal Coffey and Kieran McKeown in 27:09. Using the world renowned scientifically validated and calibrated Michael Herlihy Magic Shoe Equation I have gotten precisely no better possibly worse depending on the mood of Michael Herlihy.

2. Excessive Greatness

I think that the Ballycotton area might too great an area for road races. A lot of other people seemed to have similar fond memories of the old series, not fond enough to enter online but fond enough to turn up on the night old style with €12. Parking was in a different field to the last time, it’s amazing how you can remember parking fields from races nearly 6 years ago.

3. East Cork Mafia

I think that you are always guaranteed a good race in East Cork Country. East Cork A.C is like when you play Championship Manager for too many seasons, and it starts making up players to replace the ones that have stopped playing. Tony Forristal is basically like the computer regenerated Sean McGrath. On the start line it was a sea of maroon singlets. Once we got underway the wrong way around the 5 mile route I was surrounded by the maroon of Tony, James McCarthy and Brian Harty.

4. The Van

I think that as part of an Athletics Ireland race license it should be mandatory to have a lead van with commentary and Donie Walsh sitting in the back of the van watching the race. On commentary duty for Churchtown South was the totally unbiased Michael Harty.

5. Murder She Wrote

I think that the great thing about having a commentary van is that you find out things about the place that you wouldn’t know otherwise. Michael Harty is a great commentator. He kept us well up to date on the gaps to the people behind and provided nuggets of local wisdom like that the house at the two mile mark with the spectacular views of the sea was Angela Lansbury’s house.

6. Million Dollar View

I think that you should have to pay an extra €2 entry fee for the view between miles two and three. It is an amazing course with views better than Achill or Dingle Half Marathons. The views are made better by the grass running down the middle of the road. You’d nearly forget that you are in a race with East Cork lads that you’d love to beat only for Michael Harty reminding you that Tony Forristal has made a move and the race is on.

7. Local Knowledge

I think that Tony Forristal used either local knowledge or the phone he was holding in his hand to open the decisive gap. It was on the section of natural beauty that he made his move. After possibly checking his phone, he chose a section with grass in the middle meaning that you could only follow behind and not side by side. As the gap gradually opened from a Michael Harty measured distance of 5m to 15m I realized that while I was losing contact to Tony I was opening a small proportional gap to James McCarthy.

8. Excellent Road Surface

I think that I was nearly too happy to be in second place. As we turned sharp right back onto the old first mile of the 5 mile route but in reverse I was about 10 seconds off Tony but 5 ahead of James which was an acceptable state of affairs. All of a sudden, the road surface became excellent which is unusual for East Cork. Michael Harty told us we had about 4 minutes of running left which seemed like a long time to have to stay ahead of James McCarthy.

9. So Predictable I Know

I think that it was probably impossible to beat James McCarthy with only a 5 second gap with 800m to go. I got to 400m to go still in second still about 10 seconds behind Tony. Then Michael Harty uttered the words 400m to go which seems to be James McCarthy’s trigger word. I did my best slow-motion sprinting but with 200m to go James appeared on my right shoulder and drifted by gradually opening a two second gap at the line. Two seconds is better than three seconds in Fermoy I suppose.

10. SuperValu

I think that the prizes for the race were amazing. When you come third in a race you wouldn’t be expecting much, maybe a few euro more than the entry back or if you are in Kerry a set of plates with cows painted on them. I’m beginning to think that I got the wrong prize, a €100 SuperValu gift card seems very generous plus a race logo embroidered Under Armour hat. Let’s just hope it doesn’t get too successful again, I could do with a few more SuperValu gift cards given the price of tofu these days.

Photo: Garry lee

Irish Runner National 10 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Irish Runner National 10 Mile

1. Free Entry

I think that it was great to a get a free entry to the National 10 mile after the race that shall not be named that was also run in the Phoenix Park a few months ago. I probably wouldn’t have gone all the way to Dublin for a 9am start if it wasn’t for the free entry.

2. Not so Free Hotel

I think that I would have gladly swapped a free entry for a free hotel. Dublin is like New York to someone from Cork, the prices don’t make any sense. The anger kind of accumulates as the weekend progresses. The first time you get ripped off you just accept it and hope that it’s a one off but when someone knocks over your €4 coffee in Kaph and the shop doesn’t offer you a replacement you end up glad to be going home.

3. Paper Numbers

I think that I was lucky to know that when a race booklet in Ireland says that number collection closes at 830 it doesn’t actually mean it. It was particularly miserable on Sunday morning, deceptively warm but horribly wet. The sort of morning where you want to minimise any standing around. I jogged up from the not so free hotel for 845 to collect the number at the tent. Being a little haunted by the race that shall not be named I was on the lookout for any potential fiascos. It all looked very professional, the only thing I was worried about was that the race numbers were made of very thin paper and looked like they could fall apart in the rain which would have been problematic given they contained the timing chip.

4. Answering the Question No One Asked

I think that it is important to answer the question is it a good idea to run a 5K, a 4 miler and a 10 miler in 6 days. The answer to this question is No, it is a bad idea, you could probably do two of the three but all three is a very bad idea and will result in a particularly miserable trudge around the Phoenix Park on a pair of exceptionally bad legs that are full of badness. The main problem with it seems to be adrenaline, you have no adrenaline left for the third race so when you are on the line in the Phoenix Park for a national championships it takes about two minutes to get going and you are miles back after 800m.

5. Phoenix Park

I think that I don’t particularly enjoy running in the Phoenix Park. Am I allowed to say that? The hills are horrible, the exact sort of gradient that are terrible for tall people like me to run up. I rarely feel good running around there either, it might be some weird tree pollen or something but I always struggle even on easy runs. This race did nothing for my opinion, after a mile I got going but everything was annoying me, the weather, the darkness, the breathing of the fella from Drogheda who was following me and most annoying of all Michael McMahon and Mark Walsh up ahead just out of reach.

6. Pathetic Fallacy

I think that it is very difficult to run well on a day like Sunday. The weather was deceptively awful for running. It was as humid as it can be and moderately warm. The only good thing about the weather was the lack of wind. The miserable weather was good company for my bad legs which seemed to be getting deader with every mile. It is very important to have at least two things to blame when your performance is likely to be below par.

7. Too Fast

I think that you should never look at your watch when you are feeling terrible in a race. Nothing good will come from looking at your watch if your mental state is not good. After three miles I had convinced myself that my legs weren’t bad and that Mark and Michael were mad and that I was not mad about 10 seconds behind them. Then Brian Murphy stormed past me on the section of the course on the road outside the park. I looked at my watch and saw 16:20 for three miles. This affirmed my opinion that everyone else was mad and that I was right which was very wrong.

8. Keep Going

I think that even when you are struggling in a race it is always best to keep going in case the badness magically disappears. As we began the ascent back up towards the start after about 4 miles I obtained some help from a Donore Harrier. We began to close back the gap to Brian Murphy that I had voluntarily surrendered owing to thinking that he was mad and by the time we had reached the top of the climb where we had to do a bit of cross country running I counted the gap at 10 seconds. I started to think about triumphantly hauling back both Brian, Mark and Michael and how great it would be for me.

9. Humidity and Kerrymen

I think that Kerrymen might be immune to the well-studied effects of humidity on running performance. As we approached the marker for 6 miles which had possibly been moved further down the road by a rogue deer, the gap to Brian was down to 5 seconds, and the thoughts in my head were growing even more wild. Then we began the ascent along the snakey road. At this point the humidity kicked in and I was unable to run anymore. Brian on the other hand took off and did what I would have liked to do which was catch Mark Walsh and beat him. I was left floundering in my now negative but realistic thoughts on the many little climbs back to the finish.

10. Third Team

I think that if it wasn’t for the team competition I might have given up completely during the last two miles. I had reached peak badness at about the 8 mile mark, the hills got worse and it seemed even darker and wetter than it was at the start. I began to hope that the course was wrong and that the times would be invalidated so that my greatness wouldn’t be questioned. Unfortunately for my ego the course was excellently perfectly marshalled so the times were very accurate. Even the numbers which I had been worried about stayed perfectly intact. I ended up 22nd outside 55 minutes which is John Walshe’s threshold for inclusion in the list of 10 mile times. The only consolation was that we came third in the senior team which was about all I could have hoped for in the first place. Maybe it isn’t such a bad idea to do all the races.

Grange Fermoy 4 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Grange Fermoy 4 Mile 2023

1. Fourth Time Lucky

I think that the fourth version of the Grange Fermoy 4 mile course is the best version. At the fourth attempt they have created one of the best 4 mile race routes in the county. It’s excellent, an almost square possibly rectangular 4 mile route with 4 left turns, a few little hills but mostly flat. If they had of used this course in 2020 all the people who ran that day would have comeback perhaps.

2. Masters Running

I think that road racing has an age problem. The start line of the race was all old men like me and Michael Herlihy. I had to reintroduce Michael Herlihy to Sergiu because it’s nearly 13 years since they last raced each other. No one under 28 seems to run road races, I don’t know why, perhaps they all have coaches now who make them do perfect training instead.

3. Original Magic

I think that it is terrible that Nike change the size of the Vaporflys on every model. The Vaporfly V1 and V3 require different thickness socks for a UK 12. As I had thin socks on I had to go for the Pink V1s. No harm as one of the ways to prevent injury is to change the shoes up every now and then.

4. Singlet Set

I think that I should get sponsored by Asics so that I don’t have to pay money for my singlets. I’m sure Sergiu didn’t have to put his hand in his pocket for his matching albeit different colour Asics singlet with tiny holes in it.

5. Yellow Belly

I think that it is natural to be worried when a fella from Wexford who looks like Brian Fay is up the front of a race after a mile. He must have meant business if he came this far, perhaps Brian Conroy gave him a lift in the van. After a mile he looked like he was going to leave the group and head off up the road after Sergiu. Then we took the first of four left hand turns and he fell back.

6. Sound of Mike

I think that when you run with someone a lot you being to know their sound. I could tell the sound of Michael Herlihy running a mile off. It’s very handy to know this when you are trying to drop him two miles into a four mile race. As we made the second of four left hand turns the sound of Mike disappeared.

7. Lesser of Two Evils

I think that sometimes you have to pick the best of two bad options. Between the second and third mile I was left with the choice between drag James McCarthy around to the finish or slow down and let Michael Herlihy regain contact. It was a simple choice.

8. Fourth and Final Left

I think that the last mile was very tough. I had already resigned myself to defeat by both Sergiu and James but I knew that staying ahead of James for as long as possible was the key to beating Michael Herlihy. It wasn’t until we could see the pop up races finishing gantry that James gradually eased by. There was no sound of a laughing Michael Herlihy closing in terminator style but as you can never be sure I sprinted as hard as I could to stay as close to James as possible.

9. Twenty Seconds

I think that I will have to beat James McCarthy on the road before the summer is out. In the last three four mile races he has beaten me by a sum total of twenty seconds which is nearly the same amount seconds that I beat Michael Herlihy by in this race.

10. Wardrobe Malfunction

I think that I will have to use the finish line photo that Graham took for Instagram to try and convince Asics of the need to sponsor me. The photo shows how well the Asics singlet fits men with long torsos like me. I’m sure that people will be queuing up in Lifestyle sports to buy them after seeing it scrunched up like a toga showing off my belly. Why wouldn’t a brand want to be associated with the 3rd place finisher in the Grange Fermoy 4 Mile.

GNI Cork BHAA 5K 2023

10 Things I Think About The GNI Cork BHAA 5k

1. Ryanair

I think that it is amazing what a free long sleeve t-shirt will do for race numbers. David McWilliams could do a podcast on the economics of the Cork BHAA. 750 people paying €5 makes more money than a race with 200 people charging €15. Assuming a lot of the costs are fixed then maybe there is room for a Ryanair in road races, so long as they can find a source for cheap long sleeve t-shirts that look fabulous.

2. Breakfast Cereal Box

I think that my favourite thing about the race last night was the race number. I was a little late registering for the race in order to guarantee that I didn’t get another race t-shirt to add to the mountain that I have collected over the years. Owing to the popularity of the long sleeve t-shirt the numbers with chips had run out so I was given my number handwritten on a piece of thick cardboard jaggedly torn from possibly a breakfast cereal box. It was quite difficult to get the safety pins through the cardboard but once installed it was far more comfortable and less annoying than the huge numbers with the chips on them.

3. Very Rare

I think that you know you have great fashion sense when people start to copy you. Pat O’Connor turned up for the race in exactly the same outfit, red singlet, blue shorts, pink and yellow Vaporfly 3s and Garmin watch. It is very rare to see this level of excellent fashion sense, normally only high-level influencers like myself can select such an excellent combination of colours.

4. Get Back

I think that there was a little difficulty with getting everyone behind the startline because of the popularity of the long sleeve t-shirt. It’s very difficult to move a large crowd of people backwards, I think you have to start at the back as there is no point telling the people at the front to move back as they’ve nowhere to go and the people at the back can’t hear you shouting at the people at the front. We could have asked Lizzie Lee to project manage the movement of people back behind the line, I’m certain this would have worked. Technically the first five rows of the race should be disqualified but sure it’s only a road race and when your race number is a piece of a cardboard box there’s no point in getting upset about small details.

5. Stay Upright

I think that people are too worried about getting out fast at the start of a 5k. The start of a 5k is definitely the least important part of the race. There is no need for the mad sprint off the line, it’s a very long race. My main concern for the first 100m was staying upright which was surprisingly easy once I navigated my way around Lizzie. Then I saw Viv and John Meade up ahead so I aimed for them.

6. Patience

I think that the most important thing in a 5k is to be patient during the first mile. After about 800m I found myself at the back of a nice group containing Viv, John Meade, Barry Twohig and Aidan. Viv was at the front which made him very uncomfortable, he kept looking around like as if there was something inherently wrong with him having to run into the wind. I stayed right at the back of the group entertained by Viv running while looking behind himself and patiently waited for us to reach the roundabout when the wind would be at our backs.

7. Perfection

I think that you couldn’t have created better conditions for a 5k if you had a magical weather machine. It was perfect a cross headwind for the first mile which was almost fully sheltered followed by two miles with the wind at your back. Even the temperatures were perfect. Once we reached the roundabout I took command of the Viv group and went at my absolute maximum top speed of 5:00 minutes per mile.

8. Merciless Meade

I think that John Meade’s performances have become very inconsistent. I am now 100% guaranteed to beat him 50% of the time. Unfortunately, a 5k down the Marina is where John Meade is at his best. When we turned left at the Marquee John Meade appeared on my left shoulder looking like real John Meade. I made one last attempt to keep him behind on the slight incline back to the Marina but as we rounded the right-hand potholed corner for the extremely long run for home he flew past with Viv on his back.

9. D’une Autre Planete

I think that if L’Equipe covered Cork BHAA races then the front page would have a picture of Viv rather than poor Jonas Vingegaard. Anyone who has watched Viv in action knows how impressive a sight it is to see him in full flow at the end of a race. What he did in the last 800m of this race was other worldly, he glided by John Meade, dispatched the Canadian Kerryman, before silently sailing by Tom McKenzie all in an effortless two minutes.

10. Great PB by Me*

I think that despite the terrible defeat by both Viv and John Meade it was possibly a great PB by me. I’m unsure if it is my fastest time over the distance of approximately 5K but as any good influencer knows it’s not what you’ve actually done, it’s what people think you have done, that’s what’s important. Influencers make their own PBs, anyway I prefer to focus on beating people and on that front it was definitely not a PB.

Photo: Garry Lee

Tracton A.C 4 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Tracton A.C 4 Mile

1. Old Houses

I think that my second time in Tracton was a little bit more adrenaline filled than the first time. My only previous visit to Tracton was to a talk on old country houses that John Meade suggested that we go to, I think Conor McCauley came too. I remember thinking that this would be a great place for a road race with it’s nice warm up track and hilly quiet roads. I was right.

2. Last Call

I think that they should put a warning on the poster about how long it takes to get to the start. I was late as usual but due to the kilometre long ascent to the start I was extra late. At 10 to eight I was installing my magic shoes when I heard “last call for runners” about five times before I finally got my shoes on and began the ascent to the start. As I had magic shoes on, I made it in plenty time and was well warmed up by the hill.

3. Meet me at the Crossroads

I think that there was an excellent collection of people that I would like to beat at the race. It was as if I hand picked them. Viv, Jeremy, Barry Twohig, Mark Walsh, John Meade and a foreign invader from West Limerick Karl Lenihan. It is highly unusual to have such a bunch so I was equally terrified and motivated.

4. Barry Induced Misery

I think that Barry Twohig made the race horrible for everyone. Tracton is a terribly hilly place, the perfect place for making your legs hurt, which is exactly what Barry did to us all in the first mile. I haven’t felt that burn in my quads since I was on a bike trying to take some Strava KOM in the middle of nowhere. I knew that everyone else was probably feeling something similar so when we got to the top of the many small hills in the first mile I pushed the descent to make it extra miserable for everyone. Misery after a mile of a four road race mile race is wonderful one of life’s great pleasures.

5. Headwind Checkout

I think that I probably shouldn’t have jumped out of the way when we hit an unexpected headwind during the second mile. I had no real idea of the course so when we started a descent after the first mile I mistakenly thought that the hills might be over. I tried to use my significant size advantage on the downhill by pushing the pace, unfortunately there was a terrible headwind, the sort of headwind where Viv tucks in behind you like a small truck following a big truck on a motorway. I have become intolerant of this tactic so the minute I thought it was happening I just stopped and let them all go past. I might have done it a bit too suddenly as I nearly took poor Barry out of it.

6. 3,2,1

I think that my favourite part of the race was the civilised bit of mile two where hostilities ceased, and we ran as a nice co-operative bunch. It would have made an excellent photograph with everyone in their respective club singlets but as it occurred briefly in the middle of nowhere that wasn’t possible, at the front you had Jeremy, Mark and Viv in a row of three with, John Meade and Barry forming a two-man row providing 100% shelter for me in the Kipchoge position. Hostilities resumed pretty quickly.

7. Don’t Torment the Viv

I think that one of my favourite things to do in a race is to torment Viv. As we approached the start of the descent from two miles of climbing, I left my Kipchoge position and went up to Viv’s left shoulder just behind Mark Walsh. I made a few fake little surges to torment him before going as fast as I could down the hill. I thought that this would be fast enough to be in the lead but Mark Walsh is better than me in general so I followed him instead which was fine as I didn’t expect to beat Mark.

8. The View from Fourth

I think that there might have been a nice view of the sea and a ship at the top of the hill, John Meade told me there was after the race, I saw nothing only Mark Walsh’s black Vaporfly 2s. It is interesting that running downhill can be just as miserable as running uphill if you do it right. I suffered greatly from mile two to three trying to hang onto Mark, never thinking that I might beat him, just knowing that it was my best hope of beating everyone else.

9. The Fear

I think that I know what it must be like to be a youthful antelope being chased by a pack of old vicious lions after the last mile of Tracton. It was terrifying, I got to the third mile just a bit off Mark in second place only to soon hear the light breathing of Viv on my shoulder. It was only Viv at least. The fourth mile seemed never ending with that long straight which looks like it should be the finish but isn’t. I got to the second last corner just behind Viv but as he is extremely motivated by beating me the gap was forced open and I began to worry about ending up fourth or maybe worse.

10. Photos, Food and Prizes

I think that I did an excellent finish to hold onto third. The finishing photos are excellent as you can see an out of focus John Meade behind me horrified with what is unfolding in front of him. The best thing about finishing third is all the photos that must be taken of the all-important top 3, there is nothing worse than being fourth like John Meade when the photographer asks can I have 1,2 and 3 over here like no one else matters. After the many photos, a warm down along a nice river path with Viv and some of the plentiful food we had more photos and prizes on the stage which was great, just like the race, great.

Photo: Garry lee

Mooreabbey Milers 10 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Mooreabbey Milers 10 Mile

1. Climate Change

I think that it was nice of the climate change to give us a chance to run in Galbally with sub 20 degree temperatures. Sunday was a more normal day in Galbally than last year with the mountains closer than normal which indicates the chance of a shower as far as I can remember.

2. Real John Meade

I think it was great that the real John Meade showed up in Galbally. The fake John Meade from a week or two ago must have gotten the road or perhaps retraining. Real John Meade was up to his usual tricks only appearing on the line with no open lines of communication up to the race. At least Michael McMahon will tell you he is turning up.

3. Mass

I think that the delayed start due to Mass was very nice. It was a very pleasant morning in Galbally and no one minded waiting a few minutes for the mass crowd to clear. It must have been a very quick mass as mass started at 1030 and the race started at 11. It only took a few minutes, so we stood in the sunshine underneath the Galtees and discussed mass and the increasing attendances at mass which I found surprising.

4. Draggy

I think that the main word that you could use to describe the course in Galbally is draggy. It is a remarkable 10 mile course as aside from the last two miles it offers the unique sensation of running almost completely uphill for 8 miles. It is relentless and much easier to run in a group. Thankfully unlike last year in the scorching heat I had the pleasure of being in the front group of three, myself, real John Meade and Michael McMahon.

5. George Ezra

I think that more races need a man in a van with a microphone, a Spotify playlist and a speaker. We had a quiet first few miles running along the uphill road towards Tipperary before turning off for Garryspillane. We were led by a nice fancy yellow jeep supplied by Hinchy’s but also followed by the louder more musical commentary van which was playing the floating role. The first tune we were treated to after about 4 miles was Shotgun which was rather apt as I was sitting right behind John Meade and Michael McMahon happy out.

6. Adidas vs Nike

I think that as races go this was one of the most enjoyable ones I’ve run. We took turns with the pace and apart from clipping Michael McMahon about 10 times due to his flailing Adidas Pro 2 shoes flicking my thigh we had no disagreements. The only real drama was when Michael took a left hand turn a bit too tight. He slipped but due to the Continental grip of his Adidas shoes and his fantastic trail running skills he stayed upright and we continued on our way.

7. Stop The World and Let Me Off (Remix)

I think that John Meade and Michael McMahon don't like country music. As we approached the 8 mile marker our friend in the musical van appeared behind us speakers blaring Declan Nearney’s classic Stop The World and Let Me Off. The Remix. There was a noticeable lull in the performance of the two lads possibly due to the tune so I took my chance and attempted to open a gap up the last of the inclines on the course. A gap was achieved by the time we reached the left turn back to Galbally. I wasn’t confident that it would be enough.

8. You’ll Never Walk Alone

I think that this was the first race where I have spent a portion of the race singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” while holding hands with John Meade. The man in the musical van possibly realizing that I was gaining an advantage turned up the adrenaline by changing tunes. It is a terrible pity that it wasn’t filmed as I’m sure it looked bizarre, three lads running along a country road to, You’ll Never Walk Alone. It certainly resulted in a quickening of the pace but it also restored the health of the two lads who were full of running again having looked weak on the hill.

9. Anaerobic Power

I think that I hadn’t a hope in the end. I got to just beyond 9 miles before the first attack occurred. It was launched by Michael McMahon and was particularly vicious. At this point the music van had disappeared up the road to get in position for finish line commentary. Michael got a small gap on myself and John but it was still catchable. Myself and John worked hard down that last hill. As we reached the speed bumps on the way into Galbally we were both gasping for air and it looked like Michael McMahon would just be out of reach. Then from nowhere and without oxygen John Meade launched after Michael McMahon leaving me in a firm definite third.

10. Podium

I think that it is a pity that John Meade didn’t catch Michael McMahon on the line. It was the most incredible sprint I have ever seen, it’s just a pity that it served no purpose other than making excellent photos and videos. After some famous Galbally ice, interviews, a warm down and excellent refreshments in the hall we were summoned outside to the real podium under the Galtees where unfortunately or fortunately there was no final rendition of You’ll Never Walk Alone.