10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About the Dungarvan 10

1. Non Runner

I think that it was very foolish to bet Michael Morgan that I’d beat him in Trim this weekend. The bet was a pair of the shoes on which World Athletics placed a moratorium on on Friday. I went so far as to book and cancel a hotel in Trim, yes there are hotels in Trim. Then I thought about it and realised that I’d much rather go to Dungarvan and beat John Meade again.

2. Breakfast

I think that my preparation for this race was almost perfect. I slept excellently until 10am, then I got up and had an excellent breakfast of ciabatta toast, raspberry jam and four nespressos. I’d have preferred a croissant but Glanmire isn’t great for the croissants.

3. Run with Science

I think that the longer I spend running the less it makes any sense to me what works and what doesn’t. The one thing that I have concluded is that there is absolutely no correlation between easy pace runs and race pace, none, I’m about as slow as I’ve ever been on easy day. It might even be a negative correlation, it makes no sense anyway. Runners World was right all along, run slower get faster.

4. It’s Not Barcelona

I think I had to trick myself about where this race was on today. I really don’t like running 10 mile races in Ireland in February. The last time I ran in this race there were hailstones, ice and silly ridiculous wind. I swore I’d never do it again ever. It’s nothing against Dungarvan, in fact Dungarvan is like a town I’d design, it’s just I really don’t like the weather in Dungarvan in February.

5. Yes it’s a real beard

I think that my beard has significantly improved my running. It’s an accidental beard. I forgot to shave when I was in Spain at Christmas and I thought it looked excellent when I got back. I think the beard is making me more aerodynamic, the hairs are like the dimples on a golf ball, they create turbulence which reduces the drag around my big head.

6. Professor of Cunning at Oxford University

I think that I have become much less bad at racing. After the first two miles of the race, that horrible Dungarvan Mistral became a factor. I was in a little East Cork group with the two Kevin’s and Noel Murphy from Waterford. In the past I’d have happily burnt myself out running into the headwind like a hero, but I’m a lot cannier now, after a few 100m of pointlessly running into the Mistral I shouted “This isn’t an effin train”. All I heard back was “I’m already blown”. Then I got some help. Many legs make make light wind.

7. Applied Maths

I think that this race would make an excellent Applied Maths question. 3000 runners, 50% of whom are wearing trampolines which increase their stride length by 0.07m/stride are running a 10 mile road race. The runners are running into an 11m/s headwind. Please calculate whether the runners will be happy with their times or not. The answer is no, runners are never happy, ever.

8. The Bad Place

I think that the one thing that I don’t like about 10 mile races is that you never really get to the bad place like you do in a 5k or a 10k. If you ever get to the bad place in a 10 mile race it’s all over. You need to be able to see the bad place but never feel it. Look but don’t touch.

9. Joe

I think that it was very surprising to see Joe just after mile 9. I was delighted because one of the marshalls told me that I was 10th as I passed her. I was thinking of all the great things that finishing 10th would bring like money. Then Joe bustled past. I hadn’t seen Joe all race and had no idea what shape he was in because he has gone dark on Garmin Connect. I still felt reasonable which was very unusual so I sprinted after him down the hill. This was a very very bad idea, just as I made my big sprint my right hamstring cramped and I had to let Joe and the money go.

10. Derek Redmond

I think that I was lucky to finish the race. When my hamstring cramped there was about 400m to go. I knew that I could still keep going as it was just a big cramp so I just slowed down and minded myself to the line. Only Paul Moloney went by me so I can’t have been that bad. I did consider doing a Derek Redmond and stopping and walking, especially as it happened in front of John Treacy, he might have helped me across the line, either that or he would have given out to me about my shoes.