10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The Duhallow 10

1. The Future

I think that races like the Duhallow 10 are the future of running. There is no point in entering any big city marathons as they will all be canceled forever according to Twitter. We will all have to stay at home and race each other for fear of encountering a diseased person. It’ll be like the 80s again, be great.

2. Jeyes Fluid

I think they should have clarified whether the disinfectant wipes outside the registration were because of the Coronavirus or because the registration was in a Nightclub in Newmarket.

3. Sold Out, Sort Of

I think that the concept of a race that is sold out but has entries on the day is unusual. I doesn’t really make sense but sure nothing really makes sense at the moment. I entered the sold-out race on the day, it was very straight forward. I was kind of hoping that everyone else would have been scared off by the sold-out sign but that hope was quickly extinguished by the sight of Hiko bounding up the road towards the start.

4. Gerry Adams

I think that our new Sinn Fein overlords will be very happy with my excellent furry beard. The beard is a legacy of the weird unusual viral fever that I had in Madrid at New Years which definitely wasn’t the Coronavirus. I was too sick to shave and by the time I had recovered a full beard had grown, possibly a side effect. I liked it so I kept it. It might come in handy if there’s another General Election and Sinn Fein need a few more yellow dog candidates. I’m not sure if it improves my running.

5. Vaporfly Bump

I think that the new way to shake hands at a race start line is to bump Vaporflys. I don’t think the virus lives on shoes so we should all be fine even if the shoes were made in countries that are even more riddled with the virus than Cork. No one was shaking hands anyway so we are all grand.

6. Looks Like Rain Ted

I think that it was immediately obvious that we were going to get horribly cold and wet during the race. All you had to do was look at the big black sky that we were running into. It was like one of those apocalyptic tornado films, only we were running into the Tornado.

7. Hailstones are Temporary, Quitting is Forever

I think that the conditions between mile 3 and 4 of this race were the worst I have ever run in. There was no one there to photograph it because it was ungoableoutable in but trust me it was exceptionally bad. The wind was ridiculous, hurling tiny pointy cold hailstones into your face. It was almost stop and go home weather but with an out and back course, there’s no point in quitting.

8. The Chickens and Kieran

I think that the four little chickens that took shelter behind my giant furry frame all the way from mile 2 to mile 5 were very lucky. Kieran McKeown was so well sheltered that he didn’t even realize that there were hailstones.

9. 5 Mile Race

I think that this was actually a 5 mile road race. With the wind, hail and pestilence it was very hard not to end up running in a group for the first 5 miles. When we turned at the cone and ran back to Newmarket the fun started. It’s definitely the first race that I’ve run miles beginning with a 4, a 5 and a 6.

10. Operation Punish McKeown

I think that the last 5 miles were great fun. I was feeling a lot of hate towards the chickens that I had towed up the hill through the squall so I was determined to drop the lot of them on the way home. The magic shoes are great because they allow me to actually do this and not just try to and fail miserably like used to happen. To be honest I was happy as long as I dropped Kieran badly which I did. In the end only one of them beat me. I hope Twitter forgets about the virus soon, I prefer Spain.