10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The Doneraile 5k 2022

1. Magic Shoes

I think that magic shoes are my favourite invention ever. They make doing races a week after a marathon seem almost sensible. I think that eventually everyone will realize this and there will be no excuse for taking time off after a marathon.

2. Quads Bigger Than Calves

I think that I might have to retire the term debadification. It was really only applicable if you ran anything over a half marathon in normal shoes like a pair of Brooks Ghosts. There is almost no calf damage from the magic shoes, all the work is done by the quads and hamstrings. It’s like cycling and in cycling you can race every day because quads are bigger than calves.

3. My Favorite Place not Abroad

I think that Doneraile is my favorite place to run that isn’t abroad. The only problem with it is that it is very far from Glanmire. You can be in Spain from Glanmire in only double the time it takes to get to Doneraile and you don’t have to risk the N73 between Kildorrey and Mallow.

4. Indestructible

I think that races are the best protection against injury. When races were banned because of the disease I had two stress fractures. I am convinced that frequent racing prevent injuries. I think that monotonous training causes all the injuries, the variety of loading in the races keeps the injuries away.

5. I’m Not Making Excuses But

I think that every warm up is the same. A warm up is a collection of runners exchanging excuses with each other about why they aren’t going to run as fast as their Instagram account makes them look like they run. I warmed up with Gruff, I thought I had a good excuse with my marathon but Gruff had been standing all day the day before, his socks also might have been wet and I think he forgot to eat food on a Wednesday two weeks ago.

6. Alfie Verstappen

I think that if you run into the back of someone it is definitely the fault of the person who ran into you. Even though the magic shoes mean that I haven’t any badness It takes me ages to get going. At the start Michael Herlihy warned all the kids who were running that I was an awkward dangerous runner and to stay away from me. He should have warned them about Alfie who ran into the back of me at the left turn by the big tree. Just like Verstappen he blamed me for being too slow.

7. ICE

I think that leading a race is an awful feeling. Once we got onto the trail section between the two bridges I managed to get going like a big dirty diesel. I am definitely not like an electric car. I don’t like leading races, I don’t think it suits me, I find it hard to stay motivated, normally I am motivated by hate, fear of being caught isn’t as good a fuel as hate.

8. Ice Skating

I think that I have nearly fallen every time I have run this race. There is one treacherous left hand corner off the straight where the deer are. At the turn the surface changes from tarmac to sludgy slimy trail. I planted my right pink magic shoe like I normally do when turning left but it didn’t stick. Owing to my excellent agility I managed to catch the slide and continued off up the hill. I hope someone has a picture of it because I’m sure it looked excellent.

9. Great Victory by Me

I think that it must be great to be from somewhere like Kerry or Roscommon where you could win races the whole time. It would be great if people like John Meade and Conor McCauley never turned up and I could win all of the races. If I won more races I could develop a celebration like John Meade has.

10. Newmarket vs Doneraile

I think that it would be a lot better if the 5k in Doneraile was as popular as the 5k in Newmarket. They should not tell people next year and just hold it in Doneraile sort of like how they added the 500m to Raheny. Although I’m not sure if you could develop a calculator to convert a time in Doneraile to a time in Newmarket.