10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The Munster 4 Mile Road Race in Quilty

1. Near, Far Away

I think that I made a mistake going to Clare. I should have taken the John Meade option and gone to CIT for the handy 5k. It would have been a lot easier. Everything about going to Clare was hard, from figuring out how to enter the race, to driving two and a half hours on the roller coaster roads of west Clare. At least it was sunny and beautiful.

2. Don’t Forget Your Packed Lunch if You Want to Run the Race

I think that my favourite thing about this race was the only piece of information that I could find about the race on the internet. It was an excellent letter with critical information on the race, like the start time, location and most crucially instructions that all competitors were to bring their own packed lunch. I don’t think I’ve ever brought a packed lunch with me anywhere. I wasn’t sure if they would check for the packed lunch.

3. Multiple Categories

I think that there are too many categories in running. I think I was eligible for Senior, Novice and Moderately Old Man but because only M35 was ticked on my entry I wasn’t eligible for the other categories even though I was eligible. It would probably be simpler if they had someone at the finish who based on appearance assigned a category. Appearance is far more relevant than age in running.

4. Reverse Arrogance

I think that I knew I was in trouble during the warmup. I ran with Viv who I wasn’t particularly worried about as I’ve destroyed him in the last five outings. Worryingly he looked very fresh and bouncy. He gave me his usual nonsense about being happy to win his category. The nonsense is infuriating, it’s like reverse arrogance, it’s maddening. The quantity of nonsense is normally proportional to how well he is about to run, there was an abundance of nonsense on this occasion.

5. Uphill Headwinds

I think that I knew I was in even more trouble after about 400m. I knew that the wind was going to be a problem, wind is not my friend. The wind was coming from the east off the land which must happen once a year in Quilty. After 400m Tim and Kevin had already disappeared off up the road leaving a huge group behind. When we turned right into the wind it became clear that trying to do anything other than stay in the group was going to be pointless. Barry was a very excellent honest leader and led the group while I sat at the back trying not to clip all the magic shoes. Viv was there somewhere at the back, hiding.

6. Echelon

I think that this race was more like a cycling race in Holland than a running race in Clare. As we ran up the hill into the cross headwind, we started to crab across the road like you see in the Tour De France. Poor Barry was stuck at the front of the echelon grinding away into the wind while the rest of us sheltered behind from one side of the road to the other. I knew that Viv was loving this and would do everything possible to avoid feeling even a puff of wind conserving energy like a man driving an electric car who wants to do a post on facebook about how he saved 13 cents driving perfectly.

7. The Gamble

I think that I made a major mistake when we got to the top of the hill. I hate running in big groups. It is awful when you have a big awkward stride like I do. I knew that once we turned left at the top of the hill we would be downhill with the wind at our backs, so just before we got to the top I left the back of Barry’s pack, swept around the outside and went as hard as I could down the hill hoping that the sound of the magic shoes clapping off the road would begin to fade. It did for a while but then it came back.

8. Trouble

I think that my gamble would have worked if the race had finished at the bottom of the hill but unfortunately it didn’t. By the time we got to the junction at the bottom of the hill. I had trimmed the group down to about six people. Unfortunately, Viv was still there, last of the six, bouncing along effortlessly.

9. Honesty is not the Best Policy

I think running in the wind favours nasty selfish runners who think only of themselves. When we turned left back onto the main road to Quilty the wind returned. This again made running solo pointless and impossible. For a while I thought that I might be able to repeat my Dungarvan finish but with about half a mile to go the Tipperary fella in the red singlet pushed on, Viv jumped on his back and was carried away off up the road with James Hayes and James Doran. Barry and I who were the only honest runners in the race were punished for our honesty and shelled out the back of the pack which we had founded.

10. Walking Photo Finish

I think that the finish of this race was very unusual. It was particularly hard as it ran back up the hill into the wind into Quilty. I was so annoyed and horrified at the sight of Viv disappearing up the road that I pretty much gave up. Despite pretty much giving up I nearly pipped James Hayes on the line in a walking photo finish. The high-tech chip timing gave the place to James but we both got the same time. Then I had to put up with a delighted Viv, thrilled with himself. I thought I’d finished with him, I was wrong.