Bored the Night Before The Berlin Marathon 2017

10 Things I Think About Being Bored The Night Before The Berlin Marathon

1. Full Back

I think I picked the wrong sport. I'm not designed to run marathons, I should have been a GAA player. The doctor who first set eyes on me as a 11 pound baby said "Galtee Gaels have a new full-back" not "the Berlin Marathon has a new winner".

2. For God's Sake Take it Handy at the Start

I think I'll listen to Donie Walsh this time. Normally he doesn't even bother telling me to take it handy at the start of a road race because he knows that it is utterly pointless. Lizzie Lee has also suggested a sensible approach. I might just listen this time.

3. Boxing

I don't think I've ever gotten to the start line of a race in such good shape. There is literally nothing wrong with me, nothing. This isn't some David Haye style boxing nonsense where I'll reveal tomorrow that I actually have three broken toes and a torn ACL, I am actually perfect. I even survived a dramatic ankle roll at the Marina on Tuesday. Perhaps the robust ankles of a full back are exactly what's needed for a marathon.

4. Plague

I'm very happy to have avoided catching any diseases before the marathon. I had the misfortune of sitting beside a very diseased person on the plane but I seem to have avoided contracting whatever plague was going. I was going to ask him to move but I don't think that would have worked.

5. Beige Food

I think the best approach to the day before a marathon in a foreign city is to adopt a beige food policy. If it's beige you can eat it. Bread, croissants, rice cakes, bananas, pizzas and tiramisu are all ok.

6. Veins

I think I regret all those croissants in Font Romeu. I wish I looked like a heroin addict. It's horrible walking around the EXPO and seeing all these people who have veins like the U-Bahn map of Berlin. I wish I had veins.

7. Sleep

I think beer is great for sleep but I'm too afraid to drink one the night before the marathon. I had two on Friday after arriving and slept like a baby. I don't think I'll sleep as well tonight. I'll take some paracetamol instead.

8. The Da Vinci Code

I think there are two restaurants in Berlin called Da Vinci.

9. Rowdy Barber

I think deflation has struck in Berlin. My haircut only cost €44 this time. I think I like it. It's sort of German, it certainly wasn't worth €44.

10. 16071

I think my number has a nice symmetry to it, 1+6=7, 7-1=6. I hope it all adds up to a good time, whatever that is.

The Week After The Cork City Marathon

10 Things I Think About the week after the Cork City Marathon

1. Debadification

I think running a marathon gives you very bad legs. On Monday I had Superbad legs, by Tuesday they were Too bad, by Wednesday they were less bad which tempted me back to running. This was not a good idea, I think I'd just gotten used to the presence of badness. The debadification has continued all week. I imagine it will take at least a week to eliminate all the badness.

2. Sleep

I think it's a very bad idea to stay up until 4am the night of the marathon. This may have contributed to the badness.

3. Theresa May

I think that running a marathon turns you into Theresa May. I had absolutely no interest in debating anything with anyone all week. I was a very grey creature with little or no energy and an illogical fear of stairs. I definitely wouldn't have done well in an election.

4. Peasant Wagons

I think peasant wagons are an excellent idea. It is however a very bad idea to try and run to catch a peasant wagon when you've just run a marathon. I blame my current calf niggle on this.

5. Next One?

I think I'm the only person who doesn't get annoyed when asked an hour after finishing the marathon, "when's your next one?" Seems like a perfectly logical question to ask someone who's having severe difficulty getting into and out of a chair.

6. Olivier Giroud

As part of the debadification process I jogged around the Belle of Ballincollig 5k wearing a pair of classy white sunglasses. I got asked by one of the local kids if I was Olivier Giroud. I took this as a compliment, I suppose I was moving very slowly with no chance of scoring but still looked absolutely fantastic.

7. Reverse Dieting

I think the concept of a reverse diet is a wonderful idea after a marathon. It involves deliberately eating more than you need to speed up recovery. Sports science can be used to justify anything.

8. Particle Size

I think I need to be lighter to run a fast marathon. The marathon is the best particle size analyser. It just filters out by size. I'm currently a big particle. I need to be a less big particle. Reverse dieting won't help this.

9. Lessons Learned

Like any good project manager I conducted an extensive lessons learned after the marathon. There were post its everywhere. I think I learned one main lesson. I think I need to run more marathon pace runs. I thought I learned this in Berlin last year butI think I forgot. Come to think of it this happens with most lessons learned.

10. Irish National Championships

I think it was a great idea to buy an entry to the Berlin marathon the morning after Cork. Berlin is not Cork. It will be good to run the national championships again.