Grange Fermoy 10K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Grange Fermoy 10k 2024

1. Glanworth

I think that it was nice to get to run a race in the town where my father is from. We didn’t get to run past the house as it is in the town but I jogged past it while I was rushing to collect the number and excellent t-shirt. Glanworth is a great place for a race, only 30 minutes from Glanmire with a nice bridge and castle. It was great to see it busy with all the runners when I arrived early 30 minutes before the race.

2. Sure You’re Only a Jogger

I think that Michael Herlihy must own Sixt rental cars in Cork. The poor Scirocco broke down the day after Clonmel so I had to go and get a rental car. When I went to collect it they have me a Dacia Jogger, I pleaded with them for anything else but they had nothing (apparently) so I was left to drive as a jogger to the race in my jogger.

3. French Grinds

I think that it is much better going to Clo’s farm to do a race rather than to do French grinds for the Leaving Cert like I did nearly 20 years ago. It seems mad that 20 years later there is a race starting right outside the farm you could even park in the farmyard if you needed to right by the start.

4. Gone with the Wind

I think that the wind was a big big factor in today’s race.I love a bit of weather in a race as it puts the PB and watch checking runners off kilter. I couldn’t care less what time we run so I led off into the wind like a fool. At least it was downhill so it kind of balanced out. I was surprised to be still in the lead when we turned right at the first kilometre marker.

5. The Pack

I think that a group of runners at the front of the race is like a pack of wild dogs. There is an unspoken known order of assumed greatness that should be established at least after a mile. This race was very usual, because of the wind no one could escape the bunch so the natural order was never established. Perhaps this was the day where the order of the dogs was going to change, perhaps the big hairy dog with tanned long legs wearing pink Vaporflys and yellow shorts would become the leader.

6. Perfect Pacing

I think that it was great to be still leading after 5k. After the race Michael McMahon gave out to me for being an idiot and said that I could have won if I was sensible and clever. I think that he was very wrong though as I prefer to be at the front as it is sort of like a hybrid car in that the battery is getting topped up by the act of leading the race and annoying the other people who feel they should be leading the race.

7. Every Dog Has His Day

I think that when I got to 6k still in the lead I started to think that perhaps Rhona had secretly given me a blood transfusion as my Christmas present. I was ahead of Sergiu even. This never happens, Conor McCauley was under pressure. Very usual, I didn’t even feel terrible. Every dog has his day perhaps.

8. Citizen Kane

I think that Kane Collins ruined my day. When we turned the corner out of the wind at 7km he took off and shook the bunch of dogs apart. Suddenly we were lined out one by one with gaps developing rapidly, Sergiu was second, Kris was third, Conor fourth, Nick fifth and me and Tadhg joint sixth with an actual proper journalist Brian Canty of Sticky Bottle fame right on our tail.

9. Remember When I Beat Hop

I think that today was my chance to beat Conor McCauley like I beat John O’Connell around this time of year many many years ago which was a great breakthrough moment in my running career. All I had to do was follow Kris, instead I got stuck in a battle with Nick O’Donoghue who took a while to shake off. The downhill with the wind run to the finish over the last 2k should have suited me perfectly but it seemed to suit everyone just as perfectly.

10. Shudda, Wudda, Cudda

I think that Michael McMahon was right and that I would have won the race if I wasn’t such a fool running into the wind. The new route for the race is wonderful, a great success, a route for racing, a route for a clever underdog. There were even prizes down to sixth place which is very unusual which I unfortunately couldn’t collect as I couldn’t wait to get back into my Dacia Jogger for the drive back to Glanmire.

photo: GRAHAM Meikle

Clonmel 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Clonmel 4 Mile 2024

1. Christmas Racing

I think that Christmas racing is great, normally I like to do all of the Christmas races possible as it limits the potential for having to visit other people’s houses which is one of my least favourite activities in the world. This year because of last year’s stress fracture still being in my head I have limited myself to just Clonmel and Glanworth, two excellent towns well located for Billy minding.

2. Hello Lizzie

I think that Lizzie Lee was more excited than a child on Christmas morning in Clonmel. I parked just in front of Lizzie despite arriving probably an hour later than Lizzie. I waved at her and said “Hello Lizzie”, before I even had the chance to say “Happy Christmas” I was told, “I warmed up with Emily Sisson”.

3. Tipperary Efficiency

I think that I could be employed to test the efficiency of races. Clonmel was well able to cope with my genetic lateness. I parked up 100m from the registration 20 minutes before the 12 o’clock start time. Ran over to the registration with Rhona, collected numbers, ran back to the car for Vaporfly installation before jogging over to the start with enough time to take photos with Lizzie and her new best friend Emily.

4. Arm Band Heart Rate Monitor

I think that I was a little disappointed that no one asked me about my new arm band heart rate monitor. It is very excellent, I bought it after seeing Jakob Ingebrigtsen wearing one in the European XC. I didn’t buy the Coros one the influencers are hawking and instead went for the Polar version because websites said it was better and it came in black which matches my Leevale singlet. It is so much better than a chest strap as it doesn’t leave you looking as if you are suffering from stigmata and seems to be just as accurate.

5. Surprisingly Fourth

I think that I was very surprised to be in fourth position after only a few hundred meters of the race. Kane Collins, a Kilkenny fella and a fella wearing an American Nike T-shirt took off in the front group leaving me to drag the unusual combo of Viv and Emily Sisson into the wind for the first two miles. It is very interesting that both Viv and Emily Sisson are almost silent in their respective Nike and New Balance magic shoes, both pawing the ground gracefully. I made up for them by thumping my Vaporflys off the road. I wonder could you come up with some sort of machine that would identify running talent based on the sound of a persons stride.

6. Unusual Sport

I think that running is an unusual sport. It is probably the only sport in the world where punters like me get to compete against the best of the best, in this case the American marathon record holder and probably the holder of the fastest marathon time of all the people competing in the Clonmel 4 mile by about 5 minutes. It was very odd to be running over the bridge at two miles side by side with a 2:18 marathon runner and Viv.

7. Olympian vs Non-Olympians

I think that I was a little disappointed at the ease at which myself and Viv were dropped by Emily Sisson. Once the wind was no longer a factor 5:10 pace became 5:00 pace which was enough to filter the group into Olympian and not Olympians. So I switched focus from beating Emily Sisson to beating Viv which was probably more important anyway.

8. Minardi

I think that the last mile of this race was like a Formula 1 race from the 90s where nothing happened for the first 70 laps and then there is complete chaos, safety cars, red flags and a Minardi driver like me ends up on the podium. As we approached the final roundabout at around the three-mile mark I saw a steward over at the side of the road tending to someone, as myself and Viv got closer I saw the Kilkenny fella who had been a good bit ahead of us lying on the ground. Viv being the nicest man in the world peeled off and went to check on him. The Kilkenny fella was fine, and Viv was quickly back underway after the pit stop.

9. Guilt

I think that I felt very guilty for the last 400m of the race, the combination of the Kilkenny fella pulling out and the niceness of Viv meant that suddenly I had gone from 6th to 4th and from 5th man to 3rd man without doing anything to deserve it. I tried to slow up a bit to let Viv catch up and beat me in the sprint like he was probably going to do anyway but it was too late so I ended up crossing the line as the 3rd man and 4th overall. It is like there is some sort of greater force that means that I must finish fourth in all races in Clonmel. It is obviously a very powerful force as I was fourth in Kilsheelan 10 mile, Clonmel Half and Clonmel 4 mile this year alone. Consistency.

10. Luck vs Talent

I think that it was very bad form of me to miss the prizegiving. It was not intentional, it was Clonmel’s fault for having a lovely path along the river for warming down which meant that I ended up running for longer than I should have with Viv, Rhona and Clodagh. Luckily my agent Graham was on hand to collect the generous prize for 3rd. Viv got the age category prize, so I didn’t feel too bad about the moral dilemma, these things even out over time anyway, it’s always better to be lucky than talented.

PHoto: John D Kelly

Valencia Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Valencia Marathon 2024

1. Not Important

I think that I was a bit conflicted about doing a marathon in Valencia so soon after the floods. The race starts less than 5k from Paiporta which was badly impacted. Arriving in Valencia the week before the only sign that there was anything going on was the men staying in the hotel with work boots caked in mud. I’m still not sure if it should have gone ahead but I suppose it was a good fundraising opportunity and brought back some tourism. Marathons are difficult to get your head around at the best of times.

2. Donal X Trevor Collab Shakeout Run

I think that Valencia has not been impacted by influencer culture as much as the major marathons. The park on Saturday morning before the race was so crowded with runners and almost free of influencers. Myself and Trevor were probably two of the biggest influencers in town so we agreed to collaborate and hold a shakeout run. We had Rhona, Ian and Eoin in attendance which was a great turnout. We were joined mid run by random Norwegians who we knew were Norwegian by being fluent in Norwegian after all the Ingebrigtsen documentaries.

3. Rice

I think that eating the days before a marathon is very difficult. I know I need to eat a lot but I also know that I need to be careful that I don’t end up with a bad belly. I’ve it pretty much dialled in now, white foods are king, white foods and sugary things. I did feel a bit odd turning up to dinner with Viv and Derek and only ordering white rice but it was nearly 8pm and the food window was rapidly closing.

4. Quiet Start

I think that the start of the race was rightly subdued. Valencia is never one for the razzmatazz but the organisers had rightly toned down the start area. It was limited to repeated short bursts of an instrumental version of “Blinding Lights”. There was a moments silence for the victims of the floods with the race getting away immediately after. I was in group 2 which starts on the left hand side of the bridge, I took it handy as there has never been a marathon where someone has gone off too slow for the first mile.

5. Sweaty

I think that it was surprising to have sweat pouring off my head and face after 5k of the race. It was cool, about 13 degrees, but it seemed to be incredibly humid. I thought that it might just have been the after effects of removing my quite significant beard the night before the race with only a mach 3 razor but from looking around it wasn’t just me that was sweating. This didn’t bode well but I felt ok and soon enough the average pace of the watch had dropped from 5:50 to 5:45, I just needed to nudge it down a bit more.

6. Nostradamus Tadhg

I think that messages the night before a marathon rarely contain anything of consequence other than valuable good luck. Tadhg’s message about latching onto the back of some French fella and hanging on proved prescient when after 10k I found myself being perfectly paced by a fella in a Bordeaux singlet who even looked like Tadhg. Perhaps Tadhg is some sort of modern day Nostradamus I thought.

7. Deccie

I think that Tadhg was very wrong about who I should have followed instead he should have replaced the French fella with a West Limerick fella. Declan Guinea jogged up beside me just after 10 miles, we had a brief chat in my best Limerick accent before we got mixed up in the group. Declan ran 2:29, I didn’t. It is reassuring that you can be from Limerick and be where I was at about 10 miles and still run 2:29.

8. Mohawk Trevor

I think that if it wasn’t for Trevor turning up at about 29k I would have been in big trouble. I had a bit of an existential crisis after 16 miles. I began to question the point of running another mid 2:30s marathon, time does not motivate me the same way as competition for some reason. Then a fella with a mohawk wearing Trevor’s green Nike singlet passed me, he reminded me of Trevor and then almost instantly actual Trevor with no mohawk went past. Suddenly I wasn’t in a marathon anymore, it was a 13k XC race. To make it even more like a XC race Trevor had his number in his hand Nick O’Donoghue style.

9. Cross Country Mode

I think that if I could find a way to be motivated for the whole lot of a marathon I could run an amazing time. I just can’t focus on the time for that long, my brain just can’t do it, it must be phones. The minute it turns into a race with someone it becomes so much easier. For the last 13k I just chased Trevor. He was hopping off the ground, his Nike Vaporfly 3s flicking off the ground like it was a 10k .We passed Pat Fitzgerald and Terry Shanley from Clane which was a new experience for me as I never pass people at the end of marathons. Then Trevor got a 10 second gap and my cross country mode began to dim but as long as I could still see him there was still a chance.

10. A Bad Man

I think that I am not a very nice man in races. If it was a nice movie with 800m to go when I caught up to Trevor we would have high fived and jogged across the line holding hands with the pictures and videos all over Instagram. Instead it was all out war once we hit the downhill blue mat. I sprinted with everything I had which probably wasn’t necessary and resulted in extremely bad quads the day after. I just about held off Trevor who was running a 2 minute P.B which meant he wasn’t too worried about my antics anyway. I really enjoyed the marathon being a race and not a time trial, I just need to persuade John Meade or Michael Herlihy to do a marathon.

Munster Masters Cross Country 2024

10 Things I Think About The Munster Masters XC 2024

1. Post Storm Cross Country

I think that there is nothing better than a good storm the day before a cross country race to make things a bit more interesting. We haven’t had a good muckfest in a while so I was hopeful that 50 mm of rain would turn the normally well drained field in Two Mile Borris into a field of victory over Michael Herlihy and the other brave masters runners of Munster.

2. Rough Schedule

I think that the great thing about the Munster Cross Country races is the guessing the game of when the race is going to start. This normally involves the fella who hasn’t experienced a Munster Cross Country race before messaging you the night before going “any idea roughly what time the race might start”. Unlike with most races there is no answer to this question. The answer is I will look at Strava and see what time it was on at before which gave an answer of somewhere between 1:30 and 3pm so be there for 12:30 and you’ll be grand.

3. Fast Track Security

I think that I was very fortunate that like at airports there was a fast track parking system in operation for the cross country. I knew I was in trouble when I was leaving Anglesboro at 12:15 and saw a message from Rhona saying the women were going to be going off at 12:30. It was 45 minutes to Two Mile Borris so the maths didn’t look promising. I arrived into the Fast Track Parking area which was coated in a slippery layer of mud to facilitate a faster slide into the parking, grabbed my singlet and spikes from the boot and ran over to Andy who had kindly collected the numbers.

4. Chasing Numbers

I think that it is mad how even in the Diamond League they use safety pins, surely there is something better than safety pins for attaching numbers to a singlet. Normally putting on a number is a relaxing activity but add a bit of a shake from the adrenaline of being late and it becomes a complicated activity. My number installation was further complicated by a gust of wind blowing it away. Luckily Tony O’Brien was on hand to track it down. Then I found that there were no safety pins in the envelope so I had to ask Clo if I could steal some which she kindly did.

5. No Time for Studs

I think that the only problem that arose from the lateness other than my number blowing away in the wind was that I didn’t have time to change the spikes on my Dragonflys. I had picked the Dragonfly XC spikes because I thought I had the studs in them which are far better for the inevitable post storm muck but for some reason there were 6 mm spikes in them with the studs in a small bag. I briefly started to change them before realising that it was going to take all day and I was better off jogging over to the start.

6. Nicky no Number

I think that it was great that I wasn’t the latest person for the race. Nick O’Donoghue was way worse. Very close to missing the race completely in fact. We were just about to get underway when a similar creature to myself wearing a maroon singlet came running towards us with no number on. He was handed a number but no safety pins so he scrunched the number up in his hand and away we went.

7. Fethard

I think it is always worrying when a fella you haven’t seen before gets a good gap on the field after 400m. In this case it was a fella from Fethard. Behind the first corner was a bit of a mess with lots of excellent pushing and shoving. Someone tried to trip me but as there were no Cork Has One Track Club runners in the race it was probably just accidental. I was a little bit angry after the trip so I used the anger to track down the fella from Fethard who after some effort I caught by the end of the straight with the significant tailwind.

8. Duckworth Lewis Method

I think that it would have been great to beat Brian Murphy. I was hoping that I would have had Michael Herlihy to race but sickness put paid to that so I was left with only Brian. A victory over Brian would have meant that I could have used the Michael Herlihy method of calculating where you would have finished in races you didn’t run to claim a victory over Michael Herlihy. Unfortunately, the minute we encountered the inevitable quagmire on the far side of the field the Kerryman opened a decisive gap that was impossible to close and all hopes of both real and calculated victories were over.

9. Outside Line

I think that the great thing about cross country is that cleverness and course knowledge is very important. After the first pass of the quagmire on the far side of the course I had realised that my spikes were not suitable for the inside line as not only had Brian Murphy opened a decisive gap Nicky and Michael Harrington had flow by me too. Luckily I have run this course about 20 times so I knew that the ground was better closer to the ditch so I went over there the second and third time which meant that while I couldn’t catch Brian I was safe in second.

10. Best Moderately Old Man

I think that it is great to run races where there are medals. Because Brian Murphy is surprisingly over 40 second place was good enough to win the moderately old man category just ahead of Nicky who demonstrated the robustness of the MyRunResults chip timing system by registering a time even with the number scrunched up in his hand. After getting a nice shiny medal I made sure to get a good long warm down in as I had no warm up so I had to make up the miles so that coach me would be happy with the number of miles run for the day which was about 8 which is enough for a moderately old man running a marathon next week.

Cinque Mulini Cross Country 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cinque Mulini XC 2024

1. Northern Lakes

I think that I probably should have been a good Irishman and gone to the All-Ireland XC in Fermanagh instead of going to Milan for a cross country race. The truth is that I couldn’t face driving for 5 hours to Fermanagh, probably paying €250 a night for a hotel to finish around 100th when there were €25 flights to Milan the same weekend. Plus Rhona had always wanted to run Cinque Mulini and had never mentioned wanting to go to Fermanagh.

2. Hipster Running

I think that it is amazing to me that cross country races like Cinque Mulini are so easy to enter. I cannot understand how marathons sell out years in advance yet classic races that have been around for nearly 100 years can be entered a few days before. It’s pretty much the only type of racing that hasn’t been contaminated by influencers like me. I imagine that if you turned up at Cinque Mulini with a GoPro you would be met by a very cross Italian man saying “No”.

3. Hotel Poli

I think that if I was looking to establish a company doing trips to small races San Vittore Olona would be the perfect venue. It’s in Italy which is great, it’s 30 minutes from Milan and 30 minutes from Lake Como, it has the best cross-country race in the world, a great pizza restaurant (The Birra) and a wonderful reasonably priced hotel in Hotel Poli which is also where all the Kenyans, Ethiopians and Burundians stay so you can see that they eat the same breakfasts as the rest of us.

4. Masters Race

I think that the All Ireland XC misses a trick by not having separate master’s races on the same day. The master’s races at Cinque Mulini were very popular, so popular that we almost missed the start of Rhona’s race because we couldn’t get across the course with the constant stream of runners. I could have run in the master’s race too but it was much better for Billy minding if I did the senior race which was what I wanted to do anyway as I can only do it one more time as once you hit 40 it’s illegal.

5. Kenyans, Ethiopians and Burundians

I think that it is great to go to a cross country race and not know a single person in the race. There is great freedom in not having a clue how well or terrible you are running. The start line was very intimidating as it included at least 12 Kenyans, Ethiopians and Burundians with a lot of Diamond League calibre Italians. There didn’t seem to be too many of my type, I may have been the oldest person in the race which was an unwelcomed first.

6. Too Fast

I think that I will have to go back to lamping sessions around the farm chasing after Michael Herlihy if I’m going to make cross country my speciality again. I’m gone very slow from the marathon training. The start of Cinque Mulini was terrifying like, something from a nightmare where the whole field just runs away from you despite trying to run as fast as you can. I was very nearly last by the time we got to the first corner.

7. Don’t Get Lapped

I think that the minimum goal in a race like this is not to get lapped. The race was over the proper distance of 10k, none of the 7.5k nonsense which meant that I had to get to 8k in under the time the winner would run 10k so about 28 or 29 minutes which is harder than it sounds. I figured the best way of doing this was to stay ahead of as many Italians as I could. This was proving difficult as they all appeared to be excellent.

8. Through the Houses

I think that you must experience running the section through the houses to realise how wonderful it is. It is completely mad, whoever came up with the idea of the race is a genius. It looks great on TV but it’s even better in a race even if it is entirely unsuitable for someone as tall as me, the sound on the steps is my favourite thing. The only problem is that you only get to do it five times.

9. Not Going to be Lapped

I think that it was a great relief to get onto the fifth lap without being lapped. I think a lot of the Italians of my level had similar ideas as when we started the fifth and final lap I found myself passing quite a few of them. I had no idea what place I was in but I wasn’t last, and I wasn’t going to get lapped so I was happy. Unfortunately, the section where you run through the houses comes at the end of the lap like I had told Rhona and because I was abysmal at running through the houses, I got swamped by about 6 Italians just before the finish ending up 70th out of the 77 people who finished.

10. 263rd best Cross Country Runner in the World

I think that it is great that we have the Castlegar XC as part of the World Athletics XC tour as it is the perfect opportunity to collect world ranking points. Because of Castlegar and Cinque Mulini I am now ranked as the 263rd best cross-country runner in the world which is excellent and probably almost accurate. Anyway my main point is Cinque Mulini is better than any marathon, Boston, Berlin, Chicago, Tokyo, give me running through the houses in a pair of spikes trying to avoid being lapped by Kenyans any day.

Eyeries 5 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Eyeries 5 Mile

1. No Races for a Month

I think that I did very well after Chicago not to run a race for nearly a full month. Many people have requested that I do this for a long time. I was very tempted to beat John Meade in Blarney but I resisted and made do with the Michael Herlihy method of calculating “where you would have finished in races you didn’t run” which means that in my world I was already after earning €350 before turning up in Eyeries for a shot at a potential €250.

2. The New Road

I think that there is no longer an excuse for people not to go to the races in West Cork because it is too far. With the new road to Killarney Eyeries is barely 2 hours from Glanmire and barely 90 minutes from Ballincollig. This is less time than most people spend sitting at Dunkettle every morning while I run by so there is no excuse. It is even a very nice road with a potential stop in Kenmare which is very nice.

3. Mark’s Magic Weather Machine

I think that Mark Gallagher has a magic weather machine. In my many races in West Cork it has only failed to work once. Saturday was a very dark day, a day on which Cillian Murphy would love to film a movie, very dark, no need for special cameras. Miraculously as we reached Eyeries the clouds cleared and it became almost bright, perfect for a 5 mile road race.

4. Donegal and Derry

I think that when you go to a race in Eyeries in deepest West Cork you wouldn’t expect your chief rivals for the €250 to be from Donegal and Derry. It was terrible to arrive in Eyeries and see Aidan Noone, fresh from a 2:35 in Dublin, that was bad enough but then Mark told me there was a fella from Derry called John Lenehan and that he was very good.

5. Rusty

I think that not racing for a month is very bad. I don’t understand why people don’t race more often. On the start line I felt almost nervous and unfamiliar with the whole thing especially as marathons aren’t races so it was nearly 5 weeks since I’d actually raced anyone. When we got underway it was like I had forgotten how to run, the Derry fella was gone before we reached the village and I had to work hard to get back up anywhere near Aidan. Maybe they’ve gone off too fast I hoped.

6. Derry Good

I think that it was terrible how good the fella from Derry was. He was wearing 5 year old AlphaFly1s which is a terrible sign as it means that he knows a lot about running and is extremely knowledgeable. It took until we passed the GAA club after about a mile for the hope I had of catching him to fade. The €250 was gone leaving myself and Aidan to battle it out for the still amazing €150 for second and €100 for third.

7. Non Shed

I think that it is very difficult to drop Aidan. There are some people that I have great difficulty in beating. John Meade, Barry Twohig and Aidan Noone would have similar statistics if local elite club Cork BHAA running was a computer game like FIFA. I tried everything I could to get rid of Aidan on the many uphills and downhills but it was completely impossible. He has every ability I have just a little bit better.

8. Mile 4

I think that mile 4 of Eyeries is the best mile of any road race in Ireland. It is so much fun to race someone on. The hills are vicious and unrelenting. I hadn’t run the race since my great victory over Anthony Mannix in 2023 so I had forgotten how many hills there are. I kept trying to drop Aidan by trying to run over the top of the hills but nothing worked and he stayed behind like he had probably been told to do by Kieran McKeown.

9. Sitting Duck

I think that once I hadn’t dropped Aidan by the time we reached the top of the final hill back where the race started I knew that the game was up and that I was going to finish third. I got to the sign for the village still in second but it was only a matter of time before Aidan unleashed a John Meade or Barry Twohig style finishing sprint. I tried to go after him but the gap just got bigger and bigger and bigger until I reached the popupraces gantry 8 seconds after Aidan.

10. Banners and Prizes.

I think that it was a great idea to get banners made up to celebrate past winners of the race like me. The banners were hung in the hall in Eyeries like how the NBA teams have their titles displayed on the wall of the stadium. Unfortunately, I still only have one triangular banner. I was lucky enough to collect the very generous third prize which when added to the €350 that I would have won in Blarney by beating John Meade brings my winnings to €450 in the dark months of October and November. The banners are probably better than the prize money though, no one remembers money.

Chicago Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Chicago Marathon 2024

1. The Why

I think marathons are awful, they are far too long and it is impossible to be motivated by pure hatred for two and a half hours. The only reason that I am doing marathons is that it represents my best hope of having a PB faster than Michael Herlihy. I entered Chicago last year in a fit of envy, rage and jealousy after seeing Viv run very fast in idyllic conditions on a perfectly flat course. I’ll have some of that I thought. 

2. American Development 

I think that Chicago is the easiest of the Major marathons that I have been to. I was lucky enough to qualify for the American Development area which was sort of like how the elite runners for the Cork Marathon gather outside Elverys and are marched up to the start line except it was in Chicago with huge skyscrapers and in the dark. They were no queues, a million toilets and a nice loop to warmup in, stress free. 

3. Influencers

I think that I must have been the only influencer in Chicago who didn’t organise a shakeout run the day before the marathon. The path along the lakefront was thronged with huge groups of people following messiahs holding GoPros. It’s an unusual sport in that the most well know runners are far from the best runners, there were no Kenyans doing shakeout runs. 

4. GoPros and Nosestrips

I think that John Kinsella is the best running influencer in the world never mind Ireland. It was great to see the Limerick man in action in the warm up area. He needed a cameraman and I was delighted to volunteer after I had applied the nosestrip that Sean Doyle gave me to help with the headcold that I had failed to shake off. I may be offered a contract yet as chief videographer. 

5. B Goal 

I think that it was only right that I was on the front line of a major marathon. I didn’t even have to use my physical advantages to push my way to the front. When we were let into the start area after the playing of the Star Spangled Banner all the elites went to the right hand side of the dual carriageway leaving the left hand side free for people like me. It was great to be on the TV right from the start which is probably my B goal when running a major marathon. As the B goal had already been accomplished I decided to give it a good lash, nothing to lose. 

6. Running by Looking Around 

I think that for GPS watching running runners like myself Chicago is a terrible race. The first mile of the race is in a tunnel with a road surface similar to the first mile of the Ballintotis 4 mile. I had no idea how fast I was going as the GPS data was nonsense. I had to run by feel which is never good especially when you are sweating heavily after only a mile. I used the old method of judging how fast you are going which is look at the people around you and guess what time they look like they should run, it’s a surprisingly accurate method. 

7. The Dream is Over

I think that you can’t run a race with fitness you don’t have. After about 8 miles my GPS was telling me that I was well ahead of tormenting Michael Herlihy pace. I was extremely delighted with this. Unfortunately the clock at halfway told a different story than I was expecting, 1:15:06, an impossible task given that I was already horribly sweaty and being passed by an alarming number of runners. 

8. Four Five O Way to Go

I think that American supporters are the best. Boston and Chicago are definitely the two most atmospheric marathons I’ve runs. It makes it worth the ridiculous entry fee and hotel price. The support is constant from start to finish. I even got a personalised chant based on my number, 4 5 0 way to go. 

9. Random Poster

I think that I was a little disappointed about how early I gave up on tormenting Michael Herlihy pace. After about 16 miles I had resigned myself to getting home uninjured, I even started to notice the fantastic handmade posters, Random Poster was my favourite. Then a horrible little man barged through a gap clipping both me and another runner without saying sorry. I asked him to say sorry but he refused which made me very mad. For a brief two miles I was in full cross country mode, a man with a vendetta, but then he was gone and I was back to looking at posters and Chinatown. 

10. Perfect is the Enemy of Tormenting Michael Herlihy 

I think that the last few miles were a real struggle. As bad as I’ve ever felt in the last few miles of a marathon. The only consolation was that there were a lot worse than me. Fellas that had bombed past me earlier in the race were reduced to a slow walk, which didn’t make sense as there were no hills. I was miles off tormenting Michael Herlihy pace by the end. I should probably train properly for the next marathon but I really want to do sub 2:30 without perfect training because that will maximise the tormenting. That makes sense doesn’t it? Anyway, do Chicago, it’s great, possibly the best of the Majors. 

Cork County Senior XC 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cork County Senior Cross Country 2024

1. The Last Supper

I think that it is terrible that Lennox’s is closing. Rhona was a much bigger fan that I was so she insisted on standing in a monsoon on Saturday night for two hours for a bag of chips. The chips were better than I remembered as good as Kiely’s, great fuel for a XC race. 

2. In Anticipation of Precipitation 

I think that the rain that fell on Saturday was wonderful for XC. I was expecting wonderful muck and lots of it at the field in the absolute middle of nowhere somewhere between Rathcormac, Conna and Dungourney. I was so sure of muck that I swapped the 9mm spikes in my Dragonflys used for Galway for 12mm. 

3. Hiding in the Long Grass

I think that the farmer of the field at eircode P51 YX33 must be an excellent farmer. The monsoon on Saturday had almost no effect on the field aside from making the grass extra-long and thick with dew. I considered swapping back the spikes to 9mm but that takes ages, and it doesn’t really make a difference anyway when all you are trying to do is beat John Meade who doesn’t care that spikes come in different lengths. 

4. Inside Line

I think that I was very clever at the start. The starting area was very wide and not flattened out as the decision to equalise the distances men and women run for XC had had the same effect on participation as if the women’s 100m hurdles became the women’s 110m high hurdles. The only bit that was anyway smooth was the inside of the course, so I lined up there and had a nice smooth getaway. 

5. The Cabbage Patch

I think that the start of the race was very calm. There was no mad rush off the line mainly because everyone was terrified of the ground beneath them. It was all routine enough until after about 500m we turned sharp right into what to the unqualified eye looked like a cabbage patch. The cabbage patch had one line, step off it and you were taking your shoes into your own hands so it was single file.

6. Down the Hill

I think that in a XC race I rarely get worried if I end up a little bit back after a lap. There will always be some bit of a downhill where I can fly by people like John Meade who have gotten an advantage over the first few 100m. Sure enough on this course the last 300m of every lap were a lovely sweeping downhill left-hand bend that I ran as hard as I could every time flying by John Meade and making him incredibly angry. 

7. It’s Only a Tempo

I think that one of the great things about cross country races are the supporters on the course. Be it the “Well Done John Meades” or the “Up the Barrs” or the newest iteration today, “it’s only a tempo” from the Ben Smiths fans, they provide constant motivation to beat who ever they are directed at. As for me, I get no shouts or encouragement, possibly because I’m intimidating or unlikeable or both. 

8. There were Two Barrys

I think that it was great to have the two Barrys in the race to provide additional motivation. I spent most of the race chasing one of them. It took me two laps to pass the Cork has only one Track Club Barry. Once I had dispatched that Barry I set to work on catching Barry Twohig who would have been a major beating on a par with beating John Meade by at least thirty seconds. Surprisingly with a lap to go I found myself ahead of Barry Twohig but on the last hill out of the cabbage patch he powered by along with Tim O’Donoghue.

9. Vendettas and Old Scores

I think that XC races are very unusual events. Once you get outside the top 5 it is basically a collection of moderately old men settling old scores and rivalries from years of racing each other. It is completely pointless, there isn’t even a time or a PB like you get in the great ego fest that is the marathon. It’s just about pure hatred and beating whoever is in front of you. It’s wonderful stuff. 

10. Victory over John Meade 

I think that it was great to finally get my annual victory over John Meade. It has taken me until October to do so because he has had excellent form all year. It took a lot to beat him as he would have followed me regardless of whether we were 10th or 1st. Once I crossed the line after a vicious sprint where I ended up closer to Barry Twohig than John Meade was to me I threw myself on the ground after a small modest celebration before being handed a silver medal, not for beating John Meade but for coming second in the team to East Cork who are unbeatable and possibly the best cross country club ever. 

Castlegar International Cross Country 2024

10 Things I Think About The Castlegar International Cross Country

1. Cunning Plan

I think that when you lack any real talent for running like I do the only hope you have of getting to a World Athletics Championships is to switch allegiances to Gibraltar or to read the fine print on the qualification standards. A little-known way of qualifying for the 10,000m on the track in Tokyo is to finish in the top three athletes in the World Cross Country Tour not qualified through entry standards or other ways. Improbable yes, Impossible probably, but sure stranger things have happened. Luckily enough the first stop on the tour was in Galway.

2. Orange Weather Warning for XC

I think that my chances of making the 10,000m in Tokyo would have been helped if instead of brining the silver medal winning team from 1979 to Galway, Castlegar A.C had brought the weather from Limerick Racecourse in 1979. Unfortunately, it was a lovely day in Galway, almost unsuitable for cross country with a complete absence of rain, muck and wind. If there was a weather warning system for cross country it would have been an orange level alert, consider postponing for a wetter day.

3. World Childminding Championships

I think that if World Athletics are looking for an idea for a new relay event sort of like the mixed relay, they could have the World Cross-Country Childminding Relay. I think it would be a great event. I did the pilot version of the event in Galway, meeting Rhona at the finish line of the women’s race with Billy before running over to the start of the men’s race. Adrenaline is better than any warmup.

4. Race within the Race

I think it was great to have an international field for the race. There was almost two races, the race between Keelan Kilrehill and the foreign invaders from Denmark, Scotland and Ennis Track and then the race between me, Mark Walsh and Barry Donovan. I was a bit surprised that after one small lap and one big lap the two races came back together again before the international athletes detected our terribleness and quickly left us behind to fight amongst ourselves for the glory of first Corkman home in a World Cross Country Tour event.

5. A Thing of Beauty

I think that the course that we got to run on was wonderful. I almost forgot about the lack or rain and muck. It was the perfect course for someone like me with no talent as there was lots of bends and corners to slow up the fellas who beat me badly in road races and like doing 400m reps on things called athletics tracks that we don’t have in Cork. My favourite section of the course is the series of S bends before the long back straight which was great for testing if you’d being doing the stability exercises that the physio told you to do.

6. They are Jumping Like Horses

I think that the biggest fan of the course design was Billy, his favourite aspect of the course was the jumps made of hay bales which runners had to jump like horses. I was also a big fan of the jumps, they are wonderful. I would definitely make them bigger, at least up to my knee height. By the end of the race I was jumping them very elegantly, I was evening switching legs like a proper hurdler.

7. In The Modern World

I think that it is unfortunate that in this modern world people have no ethics. Shortcuts, that’s all people want, quick wins, no 10,000 hours of work, 4 weeks to a faster marathon etc. A perfect example of this was Mark Walsh going around the outside of each of the many hay bale jumps. I jumped everyone gleefully and honestly. I suppose at least he had to run a bit longer by not jumping them. I was only aware of his non jumping because of Rhona’s videos as I was in the unusual position of being ahead of Mark for most of the race and couldn’t see him skipping around the outside of the bales.

8. The Northside of Cork Doesn’t Have a Track Club

I think that it was great to have the Cork Track Club send an athlete up to try and beat me. This time they sent Barry Donovan who gave me an awful beating in the Charleville Half Marathon. Because of this beating I was very motivated to destroy him in the cross country. I was so focused on beating Barry that I almost forgot about beating Mark Walsh. It took me a full lap to pass Barry, once passed I made sure to open the gap as much as possible as Barry is a hard man to beat in the cross country being a former County Senior Champion whereas I only ever won the County Novice, did I ever mention that I once won the County Novice?

9. Racecraft

I think that I really should have beaten Mark Walsh. On the last lap I got to the end of the long back straight ahead of Mark which was very surprising as if it was a road race he would have been finished and having a cup of excellent free coffee from the van. I knew that Mark would wait for instruction from Donie to launch his attack and sure enough just as we passed Donie with about 200m to go he went for home. There wasn’t much I could do except hang on and hope that hanging onto Mark would get me home ahead of Barry which it did which means that I should actually have run 1:10 in Charleville and not 1:12 and means I will run sub 2:30 for the marathon which is the most important thing in running ever because it will mean that I am great.

10. Tokyo Here I Come

I think that it is great to be currently ranked as the 15th best cross-country runner in the world. I am only 13 places from qualifying for the 10,000m in the Tokyo World Championships which would be only right and would horrify Athletics Ireland. Unfortunately, most of the other events in the tour are in Spain and not in Galway which is terrible as Galway is much greater for cross country than Spain. Hopefully there will be more World Cross Country events in Galway, they’re very good at organizing cross country races. World Cross, European Cross would be no problem, hopefully they will keep a place for me if they do.

Charleville Half Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Charleville Half Marathon 2024

1. National Championship

I think that it was about time that the Charleville Half Marathon became the national championship. The entry list was like the entry list for the time when it was the unofficial national championship back during the lockdown years when they were one of the only organisations willing to organise a race. I didn’t get to run it that time due to a madness induced stress fracture, so I was looking forward to the humbling experience that is running in a national championship.

2. Dunnes

I think that it was a pity that I was too late to get a car park space in Dunnes. Charleville has some of the best located race parking in the world. You can’t really be too far from the start because of how the English planned the town years ago. Because Dunnes was full I drove around to the main street and luckily enough found a spot even closer to the start near the lane that runs down by the Aldi.

3. Happy Mike

I think that it was great that Michael Herlihy was so happy on the start line. The quality and depth of the field was similar to the time it was the unofficial championship. I knew that a happy Mike might result in over exuberance from the start, so I made sure and stay calm for the first and only downhill mile where most people ruin their race. Sure enough as we turned right to exit the town Mike took off up the road.

4. The Usual Suspects

I think that when you run as many races as I do you get fed up of racing the same people over and over again. Most of our training is entirely ineffective and serves only to avoid getting worse due to getting old so we all end up around the same level all of the time. After about a mile it was clear that my company for the day would be John Meade, Viv and Mike Morgan plus the Dublin versions of John Meade, Viv and Mike Morgan because it was the national championships.

5. GOATs

I think that the shoe distribution in the race was unusual. The new Alphafly 3 and Vaporfly 3 appear to be very unpopular amongst the top 50. I think they are terrible shoes, especially the Alphafly 3 but it could just be nostalgia and familiarity with the Vaporfly 1 shoes that made us all so fast when they arrived in 2019. I have found a source of the old Vaporflys and to prove my point about the new shoes, everyone of John Meade, Viv and Mike Morgan were wearing Vaporfly 1s and 2s sourced by me.

6. Four Hours Study

I think that the section of the course from Charleville to Kilmallock is the most terrifying piece of road in road racing. I know there is a price to pay for having a fast course but my god is it bad. I can’t hack the road at all. It is beyond boring. When we passed the three-mile mark I felt like I used to sitting down to study for the leaving cert thinking how the hell am I going to get to 9pm. It is mind numbing, I know some boring runners will love it but I need distraction, it felt like it took about three hours to get to Kilmallock. The only distractions were catching Michael Herlihy and Aidan Noone along the way.

7. Fearful Viv

I think that Viv is absolutely terrified of running at the front of a group. It is like some sports scientist told him that he should never run without someone in front of him. By the time we got to Kilmallock I was pretty fed up with having Viv attached to my back. John Meade and Michael Morgan were very willing to go to the front but Viv just sat and sat and sat. I tried to wave him through in Kilmallock but instead John Meade thought I was saying it to him and put in that awful increase in pace that only John Meade can do which made everyone miserable.

8. Frightful Meade

I think that John Meade is an awful man to have to race. He is very hard to beat because he has so many little tricks from so many years of winning BHAA races. His favourite tricks are the accelerating out of the water stop and the accelerating out of the corner. Both tricks were executed to perfection during Charleville. Luckily, I was able to neutralize both tricks when they occurred because I was wise to them so our big group stayed together all the way to Mount Charleville.

9. Mount Charleville

I think that the race in Charleville always comes down to that mountain of a bridge just before 11 miles. It is a huge bridge that can be seen as soon as you turn back out onto that road. The reason the bridge is so important is because it is basically a short version of the last mile. Anyone who goes up the bridge well will go up the last mile well. On the bridge John Meade unveiled his newest trick the attack on the bridge and sure enough a gap opened, and he was gone. I was left with Aidan Noone, Viv and Mike Morgan to battle it out to the line up the hill.

10. Sprinting for Nothing

I think that it is interesting how motivated we all were for the sprint for the finish. In reality we were all running for nothing as we were miles off the front barely in the top 50. Despite this when we turned left after the speed bump I sprinted as fast as I ever have in a race possibly because it was a national championship. Unfortunately, it was only good enough to distance Mike Morgan in his fake Vaporfly 2s as Viv and Aidan Noone were way too fast. I ended up 42nd overall and 8th moderately old man which wasn’t too bad. Unfortunately, there are no medals or prizes for those positions or for beating Michael Herlihy so I warmed down with Brian Murphy who was 6th in the nearly an old man category and went home. Hopefully the national championship will stay in Charleville, it’s a good home for it.

Allihies 5 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Allihies 5 Mile 2024

1. Dingle vs Allihies

I think it is a great pity that the Allihies 5 Mile and Dingle Half Marathon are on the same day. It would have been great to have had John Meade to race around the hills of Allihies and equally it would have been great to turn up unexpected on the start line in Dingle to torment him, instead we both went our separate ways with no one tormented.

2. Long Road West

I think that the drive to Allihies is wonderful. It is the sort of drive that you could market to tourists who like to drive nice cars on bad roads with great views. We had the luck to encounter the inevitable red Toyota Corolla with faded paint on the only climbing lane on the route so we got there slightly ahead of schedule but still late by most runners standards.

3. Sunshine

I think that it is great that in Cork you can drive for two and a half hours and emerge from the car in a different climate. Glamire was grey, coolish and cloudy whereas in Allihies the sun was shining with temperatures in the low twenties, a great contrast to last year’s yellow weather warning when we had to shelter in the hall before and after the race.

4. Agent Graham

I think that Graham should get commission from the BHAA for distributing race prizes. He now not only does my race entries but collects my prize. It was nice to collect the envelope from the Amazon 5K in the lovely Tramore Valley Park in a nicer place like Allihies.

5. Green Paracetamol

I think that the only problem with a two and a half hour drive with a four year old with a limited repertoire of songs on Spotify is that it can result in a bad headache especially when combined with 20 degrees and high humidity. When we arrived I checked the glove compartment and found some paracetamol that expired in 2018 which was interesting. Knowing something about pharmaceuticals and degradants I decided not to chance it and ran down to the local shop for some green paracetamol which worked as well as it said it would on the box.

6. Leevale Singlet

I think that the Leevale singlet is a great singlet. It is a very intimidating singlet as it makes you look like a wasp and no one likes wasps. On the startline there were two Leevale singlets and a few other fellas in new magic shoes that I haven’t tried yet like the Asics Metaspeed Edge Paris and the Saucony Endorphin Pro 4 which was slightly worrying. I went off as hard as I could and found myself solo by the time we reached the left hand turn with the jaw dropping view of the ocean.

7. New Tarmac

I think that the new tarmac in the town has made the course slightly faster. I can’t remember if it was there last year or not as it was so wet, cold and windy last year that I don’t remember anything except that it was very wet. It was very nice to run up through the mountain that runs through the town. There were huge crowds sitting outside the pub who had their lunch interrupted by the sight of a large runner in a Leevale singlet running moderately fast for a moderately old man up a big hill.

8. Course Record

I think that my course record from the time when I put Michael McMahon on a poster is very good. Even with the new tarmac and lovely weather I couldn’t get within a minute of it on my own. I tried quite hard but it is very difficult to run fast without hatred, well for me it is anyway. I know not everyone is the same.

9. Some Finish

I think that no matter whether you are racing Michael McMahon or running on your own the finish of the race in Allihies is special. No other race will leave you as out of breath. It is definitely the steepest finish to a running race anywhere in the country. Utterly miserable and wonderful at the same time. Luckily Graham was there to capture my third victory this year on camera. I only need five more victories to make it the new fourth. It was also important to win after Rhona’s victory on Thursday night, otherwise I might be forgotten about.

10. Holding up the Whole Show

I think that Allihies is possibly the best place on earth for a warm down. It is much easier to appreciate the stunning beauty of the place at warm down pace. I was even going to do a fourth lap for the day, luckily, I had sense and turned back as Carol and Mark said I was holding up the prize giving which was very efficient and excellent. I got a nice bag with a bottle of wine and an envelope with money which was more than John Meade probably got for Dingle which was great.

Photo: mY aGENT gRAHAM

Greenway Half 2024

10 Things I Think About The Greenway Half 2024

1. Greenways are Great

I think that greenways are great. There couldn’t be enough of them. The one from Glanmire to Carrigtwohill has made running around Glanmire safe and almost nice. The one in Dungarvan is even better because it is fully safe and very nice. I had forgotten to enter the Greenway Half but luckily the very nice people in West Waterford A.C do “elite late entries” for moderately good elite BHAA road runners like me.

2. Dungarvan > Cork

I think that Cork City Council should be sent on a trip to Dungarvan to see what a town should look like. It is incredible, it reminded me of Paris during the Olympics, washed, cleaned and tidied like they were expecting very important visitors. The footpaths are so clean you could drop a piece of toast on the ground and consider eating it. It is very unlike Cork.

3. Car Pool Karaoke

I think that point to point races like the Greenway Half pose some additional logistical challenges. The organizers had helpfully provided buses to the start, but I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to psych out Viv in the car on the drive over to the start by carpooling with him. I parked in the field at the Railway Cottage ran over to Viv’s car and got driven to the start in Kilmacthomas where I collected my number from a white van in the car park.

4. Flapjack Factory

I think that the start of the race was very fast. The race starts about 2k east of the Coach House Café which is more or less the top of a small hill. We took off down the hill at a ridiculous pace for a half marathon led out by my opponent from Clonmel Dermot. It wasn’t long before we passed the nice bridge by the Flapjack Factory. I looked at my watch and saw that we were on about 68-minute pace so decided to go to the back of the group and hope everyone would blow up very soon.

5. Weeeee

I think that it took about 5k for the downhill momentum to run out. It would be fine if the downhill stopped and it was flat for a bit but instead it goes back up again for another 5k reversing all of the lost altitude. It was on this climb that I got into trouble. First the early pace setter Dermot dropped off, then I let a small gap develop between me and Viv who had hitched his wagon to the front group of three. I kept telling myself I was being sensible and the front four were mad but quickly switched to blaming the AlphaFlys when the gap started to grow.

6. Awful Alphas

I think that I will have to retire the AlphaFly 3s from racing. I have given them a good few goes now, I just don’t get on with them. They are very comfortable and great for doing a long run where pace isn’t important but trying to change pace in them is impossible. They are huge and heavy in my size UK 12, I notice every plodding step in them which is not what you want in a race shoe. I spent every mile of the race wishing that I had worn my Vaporflys so I could catch up to Viv who seems to work much better in AlphaFlys.

7. No Sense

I think that the last 10k of the race was a form of torture. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing in front of me. Viv who I had administered the mother of all bad beatings to over 10k a few weeks ago was flying. He went through 10k faster than he ran for a 10k race. I know I motivate him because he loves beating me but this was ridiculous. I’m far better than any drug, stick me in a race with Viv and he is transformed.

8. Tunnel

I think that my favourite part of the course is the bit from the tunnel to the finish. The tunnel arrives at almost exactly 10 miles. Those 10 miles had been absolute torture as I could see the front group of four containing Viv, Pat Fitzgerald, Aidan Connell and Conor O’Brien just out of reach for everyone of the 10 miles. It is very dark in the tunnel and very silent, I used the darkness and silence of the tunnel to count the gap to Viv at the rear of the front group, 30 seconds, probably impossible over three miles.

9. Copper Coast

I think that the scenery that appears after the tunnel is as good as anywhere in the world. Turning the corner at 11 miles to see the sea on a sunny Saturday morning almost made the fact that Viv was 30 seconds up the road tolerable. I’ve seen the view a good few times now but it never gets old and was even nicer with a tailwind and not the usual headwind. At this point I gave up on catching Viv and resigned myself to fifth which luckily enough there was a prize for.

10. All Credit to Viv

I think that Viv might be the current greatest active Irish runner. Age adjusted his time would be 1:01 for the half marathon, I’m unsure if age adjusting accounts for a tailwind and a downhill course in magic shoes but it’s still far better than me and most runners in the country. I humbly accepted my beating, collected my prize for fifth which was great and drove Viv and Gavin back to their car in Kilmacthomas before cycling the greenway with Billy and Rhona for the afternoon which is what Greenways are also great for. A great day out aside from the bad beating.

Cork BHAA Amazon 5k 2024

10 Things I Think About The Amazon 5k

1. The Dump

I think that Tramore Valley Park is my least favourite place for a race in the world. It has no trees, this is my main issue, how can you have a park without trees. I doubt animals like it, a terrible place, so I was very motivated to go and run the BHAA race in the park with no trees.

2. Ungoablethroughable Tunnel

I think that 7.15pm on a Wednesday evening when some of the schools have gone back is a terrible time for a race. I had planned to go through the tunnel but I found out from Gruff that it was ungoablethroughable so I had to go over the Northside and down St Lukes which took ages. It would have been quicker to run from Glanmire to TVP.  

3. Agent Graham

I think that Graham is great, because of the traffic apocalypse I asked Rhona to message Graham to ask him if he would get our numbers as we were probably only going to arrive five minutes before the start. It would have been fine if people hadn’t started giving out about the BHAA races starting on time but now they start exactly on time so you can’t relax.

4. Not Even a Mile

I think that I didn’t get enough of a warmup because of the traffic apocalypse. My warmup consisted of running over to Graham to get the numbers, running back to the car then running back to the start. Sometimes this sort of warmup can work as adrenaline kicks in but this was a race in TVP a place that sucks motivation from the soul because of the lack of trees.

5. There’s No Michael Harty

I think that it was great to see Michael Harty back in action, it was just terrible that he chose a BHAA race around TVP to make his comeback. I had initially only seen the two Barrys so I wasn’t exactly delighted to find out that first place had already been decided, all I could hope for was that he hadn’t registered like one of the Barrys.

6. There Was Two of Them

I think that it would have been a great race between myself and the two Barrys (Twohig and Donovan) if Michael Harty wasn’t there. Instead after about 100m the race was over and Michael Harty was miles of barren treeless landscape ahead. I was left to battle the two Barrys for second and fourth place. My initial thought was that fourth place was highly likely.

7. Cork Has Only One Track Club

I think that the Cork Has Only One Track Club are a great supporter of BHAA races, they had two runners in the battle for second place Ruairi Manning paced myself and the two Barrys for the first lap of the treeless park. It was the perfect pace for me, not too fast and not too slow. I sat behind one of the two Barrys and accidentally clipped his heels twice which is fine because of Anthony Mannix.

8. Bowling Ball Barry

I think that I did well to avoid a collision on the last lap. With about a kilometer to go it was down to just me and the two Barrys for second place. I was sat on Barry Donovan’s left should as we turned right just after the exit for Douglas. Up ahead there were two people walking on the path, they drifted across the path from left to right as we approached. I assumed that Barry Donovan would go right around them but instead he ran straight through the middle of them like a bowling ball. I had already gone right to go around them but as Barry had split them the person on the outside hit my watch with their elbow and stopped my watch. I pressed go on the watch again and sprinted after Barry who had got a small gap.

9. Teddy Bear Mountain

I think that I probably did as well as I could versus the two Barrys. I caught back up to Cork Track Club Barry as we approached the outdoor gym. I decided to try and get away from them before the teddy bear hill but it was pointless and the two Barry monsters tore off up the hill at a ridiculous rate leaving me to run home in fourth as I’m well used to doing.

10. 8th Fourth Place

I think that I don’t finish fourth as often as people think. This was only my eight 4th place finish this year which isn’t too bad and to make it even better Cork Has Only One Track Club Barry wasn’t registered so I was actually 3rd BHAA runner which meant I got a prize. Unfortunately, I had to leave immediately after the race so my Agent Graham had to pick up my prize.

Clonmel Half Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Clonmel Half Marathon

1. Hop’s Last Stand

I think that the Clonmel Half Marathon should invite back former champions for the 10-year anniversary of their victories. It is coming up on 10 years since the great day when Cullen’s finest runner John O’Connell won a great victory over Conor McCauley around the streets and hills of Clonmel. I would love to have beaten both of them badly but I wasn’t excellent enough at the time, all I can do now is try and beat the time, 1:12:18, which was good enough 8 years ago in the bad old days before magic shoes.

2. Early O’Clock

I think that early morning races just don’t suit me. There should probably be a ban on races before 11am to make it fair for sleepy people like me. The ideal time would be about 2pm like the half marathon in Den Haag which horrified John Meade and Viv. I had to get up at 6.30am to get ready for Clonmel. I was extraordinarily tired and considered not getting up at all. I wasn’t much better by the time I arrived in Clonmel at 9am where the weather was pleasant if a little windy.

3. Terrific Track

I think that the track in Clonmel is probably quicker to get to from Glanmire than MTU. It takes 49 minutes to get to the Clonmel track on the motorway. MTU at 5pm would probably take at least an hour and a half plus the track in Clonmel is far more magnificent. My favourite part of the track is not the track but the crushed beige gravel loop around the track. That crushed beige gravel should be everywhere. It is the best surface for running on.

4. 1,2,3,4

I think that I picked the wrong half marathon to do. There were very good prizes for first second and third place with nothing for fourth, this worried me greatly considering my innate ability to finish fourth. Willy Maunsell, Jake O’Regan and Sean Doyle was a bad combination to see on the starting line. Fourth was probably the best I could hope for, fourth would be victory especially if I could beat John O’Connell’s time and failing that Conor’s.

5. 68 or 69

I think that it was Tadhg O’Sullivan’s fault that I ended up doing the first kilometer with the proper elite athletes. He jokingly said to me before the start you are probably going for 68 or 69. The disrespect from the young fella made me so angry I decided I would try and run 69 and show him how great I am. Trying lasted about a kilometer, after which I looked at my watch saw 5:14 pace and decided that 69 is only possible in Spain in January.

6. Reverse

I think that I am a very sensible moderately old man athlete. After the huge failure to run with Willy Maunsell, Jake O’Regan and Sean Doyle I sensibly decided that I would wait for the second group containing Tadhg, Dermot Gorman and Ray O’Connell to catch me. I ran a handy second mile letting the Willy led group of elite’s drift off into the distance and sure enough I could soon hear the Alphaflys and Vaporflys clapping off the ground behind me indicating that it was time to get going again.

7. Marfield Hill

I think that it took about two minutes for me to regret slowing down to wait for the group. The noise of the Alphaflys and Vaporflys clapping off the ground seemed to be worse than normal. Then to make it worse I saw the huge hill at about 3 miles that looks like the hill from the Paris Olympic Marathon in that you can see it for a long time before you have to run up it. I’m pretty sure this hill wasn’t there in John O’Connell’s time.

8. Dermot and Donal

I think that once we got over the huge hill I started to feel good again. This was probably because we were running downhill with the wind behind us. The group reduced to just me and Dermot which also revealed that the noise was not coming from Tadhg’s Alphafly 3s as I had suspected and blamed but in fact from Dermot’s Vaporfly 3s. Myself and Dermot ran together nicely until the cone where we turned around and ran back towards Clonmel at which point I managed to get a gap on Dermot which didn’t make sense as I wasn’t really trying to drop him not wanting to run into the headwind home on my own.

9. Clonmel Clip

I think that there are very angry Sunday drivers in Clonmel. I had a nice solo run along by the nice river into the vicious headwind from mile 8 to 11. Then for the last two miles we ran up through Clonmel back to the track. Two cars, a Skoda with a RN reg and a Mercedes with a D reg did that thing they do to cyclists where they try to clip you with the wing mirror even though there is nothing on the other side of the road to prevent them moving out. When the Skoda stopped at the red light just after trying to clip me, I was so tempted to remove the wing mirror from the car but instead restrained myself to some Italian and Limerick style gesticulations which hopefully weren’t captured by any photographers.

10. Around the Track

I think that the cars trying to clip me greatly helped with the last two miles. I was so angry I ran quite well even though it was all quite uphill, anger is a great fuel. I was very happy to turn onto the lovely track for the last 350m with no one behind me as I am terrified of being caught and passed on a track particularly by John Meade. Dermot was about 50 seconds behind, so I was safe to enjoy my first lap on the closest track to Glanmire on my own. I was close enough to the historic time of John O’Connell and even closer to that of Conor McCauley, more importantly I was back to being fourth again which meant I could do more miles on the lovely beige crushed gravel loop without worrying about missing the prizegiving.

Rathcormac 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Rathcormac 4 Mile

1. A Very, Very, Very Cunning Plan

I think that the most important part of being a local elite level club BHAA runner is that you learn from your mistakes. The second most important part is to pick the race the day after nearly everyone faster than you has run in the BHAA race. I really like the Stryker 4 mile route but I figured there was a good chance that the Wednesday race would be more popular given the weather forecast so I kept my race effort for Thursday in Rathcormac.

2. Cross Country Weather

I think that it was great to get a reminder of what the cross-country races will be like in a few month’s time. I hadn’t run a race in the wind and rain since the Kinsale 10 mile which was one of the coldest wettest, windiest races ever. Rathcormac in August is generally sunny and warm but this year it was wet and almost cold. Perfect weather for a fella that loves the misery of a cross country race in November. Not perfect weather for all the poor volunteers like Graham who had to stand around in the pouring rain.

3. Park Life

I think that Rathcormac has a great setup for a road race. If you were to design a place to hold a road race you couldn’t do much better. It has a lovely half a mile warm up loop a short jog from the start with lots of parking beside the warm up loop. I warmed up with Liam O’Connor who Kieran McKeown had sent to beat me and Chris from Norway who fixes all of the broken runners.

4. James McCarthy

I think that it was inevitable that someone from East Cork would show up in Rathcormac. It is in their territory so they’d have to send someone, thankfully that someone was James McCarthy and not Tony Forristal. I haven’t been anywhere near Tony in races but James has had to work hard to beat me so I wasn’t too horrified to see him on the startline. There was no John Meade.

5. My Lovely Horses

I think that the Rathcormac race should use the horses in the race for advertising. It is a very nice route with horses running alongside the course for the first few 100m. Once we had passed the nice horses I started to concentrate on beating James McCarthy. I figured that given the way the race in Churchtown South unfolded there was no point in running with him to the finish as he would destroy me if he was even within sight of me once the finish was visible. So I set to work trying to run as fast as I could for the whole 4 miles which is the point of the race in the first place I suppose.

6. Just the Two of Us

I think that it took a bit longer than I thought it would to get the race down to just me and James. Liam O’Connor and Keith Kelly were hard to shake off. It took until the right-hand turn in Castlelyons to be free of them. I was particularly worried about Liam as he has been running 16 flat for 5k and will probably beat Viv soon which means he will probably beat me too.

7. Never Beat Your Heroes.

I think that when I started running races about 16 years ago, I never thought that I would end up in a battle with James McCarthy in a road race. James used to win everything, especially in East Cork, he is miles and miles better than me, a different species of an athlete with a proper 5k PB on the track before magic spikes came along and made average runners like me reasonably annoyingly fast. John Meade tells a great long story short about the time he beat James in the Ballycotton 5, never did I think that I would get the opportunity to do the same albeit in Rathcormac about 10 years later.

8. The Sound of the Vaporflys

I think that the great thing about Vaporflys is that you don’t have to look behind you to tell if you are getting a gap on someone or not. With about a mile and a half to go I suddenly started to hear that the Vaporflys of James McCarthy were getting less loud. The sound started to get fainter and fainter, then with a little bit more effort there was no sound just my own Vaporflys splashing the water from the road. I couldn’t believe it. I dared not look behind for fear that my ears were deceiving me.

9. Fear and Loathing in Rathcormac

I think that leading a race is terrifying. It is possibly one of the worst feelings ever. A feeling of complete terror. On the very rare occasions that I’m leading a race close to the finish I have a large Michael Herlihy head on my shoulder laughing at me. I was utterly terrified for the last mile and a half. I ran in complete fear. I knew that I had to keep going all the way to the line as if I wasn’t at least 10 seconds ahead with 400m to go I was in trouble. As luck with have it Rhona and Billy were standing about 400m from the finish. They didn’t say anything about anyone behind so I relaxed a little. I didn’t look back because that’s not allowed.

10. Complete Stranger to Winning Races

I think that the guy calling out the names at the finish line gave me too much credit. A man who is no stranger to winning races is not how I would describe myself. A man who is no stranger to coming fourth would be much more accurate. Anyway, it was wonderful to finally win a race especially as I ran faster over the same distance than both Michael Herlihy and Viv did in the BHAA race so it was almost a double victory. After a warm down in the rain with James and Keith Kelly around the best warm up loop in the country it was back to the hall with the impressive spread to collect first and not fourth prize for once. It was a good plan.

Cork City 10K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cork City 10k

1. UCC 10K

I think that it is a sign that I am becoming a very old man that I think of this race as the UCC 10K. It can be nothing else in my head. Any race that goes out the Lee Road and back in the Straight Road is the UCC 10K. The greatest BHAA race in history, won mainly by John Meade. Unfortunately, John Meade couldn’t do this one as he had to volunteer, all credit to John Meade and the other volunteers.

2. Hills of Glanmire

I think that tapering doesn’t work for me. There must be a level of individual variability to it, I mean no one is telling Sifan Hassan that she would have won the Olympic marathon by more if she hadn’t run the 5k and 10k, actually someone probably is, but anyway I don’t like tapering, so I ran 12 miles two steps behind David Buckley the day before the race because I like running and the weather was nice.

3. Western Gateway Building

I think that I will always associate UCC with worry and stress and being late. The only difference this time was that I was late for a race and not for a lecture or an exam. Fifteen minutes before the start is too late to be getting out of the car. I blame collecting the number the day before because it makes you complacent. A five-minute warm up and a trip to the queue less toilets and I was ready to race. Derek was late too so we jogged over together.

4. Loads of Them

I think that there were too many good runners on the start line. It was quite intimidating. Top 20 would be good I thought as I looked around and graded myself. Sean Tobin who I remember from the tent in Aarhus at the World Cross Country when the Irish team manager was horrified to see me, Ryan Creech Ireland’s number one marathon runner and a load of other people who are way faster than me or think they are faster than me. Then just before the start they started playing The Alan Parsons Project tune from the Berlin marathon to make it even more intimidating.

5. Mount Lee Road

I think that the race was dominated by two things, the mountain of a climb on the Lee Road and the very flat, very long Straight Road. Once we got underway, we were quickly split into two groups, those who thought they could beat Sean Tobin and Ryan Creech and those who thought they could beat the first lady. I was in the second group with Conor McCauley, Michelle Finn and Shona Heaslip. Viv and Michael McMahon were no where to be seen which was wonderful. I got slightly dropped by Conor and Shona on the mountain but using my incredible descending technique I regained all the lost time on the other side.

6. The Bad Bridge

I think that it was the skew bridge that ruined my race. I have big problems with short little inclines like bridges. I had just regained contact with Shona and Conor when the bridge at the back of the Anglers Rest arrived to ruin my day. Conor and Shona flew over it whereas I struggled with the combination of the uphill twisting and turning left and right, with that a small gap opened and we turned out onto the most feared road in all of Cork, the Straight Road.

7. The Straight Road

I think that the straight road is an awful place. I felt like I was running on the straight road forever during the race. It really is an awful stretch of road. It was utterly awful mainly because Shona and Conor were gradually getting barely further and further away from me. I dared not look behind for fear that I could see what I was imagining, Viv marauding after me in full terminator mode so I tried my best to concentrate on keeping my cadence less slow and my form less terrible. It was incredibly boring and terrifying.

8. The Straight Road

I think that when I finally retire from my illustrious running career, I will wake in the middle of the night terrified that I’m halfway down the Straight Road being tracked down by Viv. It took what felt like 20 minutes to get to the turn off for Inchigaggin Lane. Shona and Conor were now barely slightly further ahead than they had been when we got onto the straight road, not much else had changed except I was beginning to get tired and was slightly more confident that Viv wasn’t going to catch me as that would mean he would be catching Conor and that while possible was unlikely to occur.

9. Still on the Straight Road

I think that the least terrible part of the Straight Road is the bit where the bus lane begins. The road widens out and it suddenly starts to feel less like the world’s longest treadmill. I got to the bus lane slightly further behind Shona and Conor than I was at the start of the straight road but still close enough to indicate that I hadn’t slowed too much. I turned left into the Lee Fields finally off the awful Straight Road to hear Donie tell me to get under 33 minutes which I did just about, successfully completing a very bad beating of Viv.

10. First Moderately Old Man

I think that it was a wise decision of the organizing committee to have a moderately old man prize, it is the most underappreciated age category, it is so underappreciated that I assumed there was no prize and had to rely on the best volunteer in the world Graham to collect my prize. As for the race, I think they should keep this route as it is one of the classic routes in the country if not world and avoid going back to the Marina, there are too many races down the Marina, perhaps we could do a second lap and make it a 20k, do the straight road twice, wouldn’t that be nice.

Paris 2024 Olympic Marathon Pour Tous 10K

10 Things I Think About The Marathon Pour Tous 10K

1. Last Minute

I think that good things come to those who give up. I won an entry to the 10K which was to be held on the Olympic Marathon route ages ago but when I looked at how much it was going to cost I gave up. The day before the race I gave one last check of Ryanair and hotels and found that what was ridiculous was now not bad. Rhona encouraged me to go because she’s great so off I went to Paris at 5:50am on Saturday morning.

2. John Terry

I think that there aren’t enough Olympics in one’s lifetime. As I was in Paris I decided I’d try and go to the stadium to see the real athletes so at 4am before going to the airport I bought tickets from the resale platform for the Stade De France for the Saturday night. The athletics finished at 9.30pm with my race starting at 11:30pm. As there was no bag drop I had to go to the stadium in a pair of Vaporflys, a singlet with a number pinned on and shorts. It might have come in handy if they were short someone for the 5000m, unfortunately they weren’t.

3. Laughing Cow

I think that getting from the stadium to the start took a little longer than I had planned. I met Shane Collins and Conor McCauley at the stadium. I ran over to their seats to watch the the women’s 4x400m team do what I normally do finishing fourth, the full kit came in handy as the security seemed to think I was an athlete and let me through a gate to get over. Once the real Olympians had finished I walked over to the train station and got the train to the Hotel De Ville where my race started. On the train I got talking to an 80 year old German man who ran 2:38 for a kilometre, lived in New York and had worked all his life with the Laughing Cow Cheese company. I told him about Dairygold and milking cows. He seemed impressed.

4. Queue Jumper

I think that the start area of the race was great fun. I had been assigned to the first starting pen. I don’t remember putting in my 10k time so maybe they looked me up. The pen was completely packed with French runners. I used my Irishness to wangle my way right up to the front along with my new friend Martin from Bordeaux who was looking to run 31 minutes. He spoke the French and I did the queue jumping which got us right up the front.

5. En Marche

I think that getting to the actual start line was a little bit complicated. I thought myself and Martin did a great job getting to the front but it was only a holding area before they walked us through a curtain up to the actual start line. There was a lot of pushing and more queue jumping while we walked but it was all fine and I was still near the front. When we got to the actual start Mo Farah appeared out of the darkness about 2 minutes before the start holding a stick which he banged on the ground and did a sort of a Haka. Then he lined up with us along with a few other French celebrities that I didn’t know.

6. Fou

I think that the start of the race was completely mad. When we got underway there was obviously a lot of adrenaline around the place as everyone took off at an insane pace. Poor Mo was swamped, even I passed him. I took it a little bit handy for the first few 100m as it was quite crowded and I wasn’t used to running at 11:30pm at night, all of my queue jumping was undone within a few seconds. Then I got going and started to pass the same people. I didn’t see Mo again.

7. City of Light

I think that there should be more races at night. Running around Paris in the dark in a race would have been amazing if it wasn’t the Olympics. But to race on the actual marathon course with the Olympic Flame/balloon glowing in the background was surreal. We ran past all the sites that I’d seen when I’d watched the men’s marathon on the bus in from the airport. We almost got a better deal than the actual Olympians as Paris is best at night in the dark with all of the lights on.

8. Suffering is Suffering

I think the great thing about running is that it doesn’t matter whether you are running a 10k om the straight road in Cork or in Paris during the Olympics. Suffering is suffering. If you can’t suffer on the straight road you won’t be able to suffer on the streets of Paris at 11:30pm at night during the Olympics. I felt like I was going very very fast for the first 5k as I was majorly suffering. I past poor Martin from Bordeaux who’s dreams of a 31 minute 10k had extinguished like the Olympic flame would only a few hours later. I got to about 7km before my own Olympic balloon burst.

9. Race to the Blue Carpet

I think that the most terrible thing about running is that you always want it to be over even when it is running a race around the streets of Paris during the Olympics. From about 8k on I was praying for the finish as my legs were hurting badly. I hoped for an Alex Yee style resurrection over the same last kilometre but there wasn’t one. I got to the right hand corner onto the finishing straight on the bridge glad to see the finish. I pretended I was an airplane on the finish because it seemed like a good idea at the time and the soft blue carpet looked like a runway at night.

10. Longest Spread Ever

I think that the Parisians know how to put on a good show. The whole race was magical from start to finish everything that you would expect from a run finishing a few minutes after midnight in Paris during the Olympics. Once we crossed the line we walked out to what was possibly the most incredible spread in history. It was about a kilometre long with lots of fruit and madeira cake. There was no tea. I had some fruit and some cake before jogging back to the hotel to go to bed because I was very tired and it was nearly 1am. I’m not sure where I’ll get the tattoo put.

Cursa D’Age 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cursa D’Age 2024

1. Font Romeu

I think that there should be a great punishment for referring to Font Romeu as Font. It is one of the great offences. Font Romeu is a great place and deserves its full title. 

2. Return to Age

I think that the people of Age must be sick of me turning up to their race at this stage. I’ve done it more times than many of the locals. It’s been going for 41 years and I’ve done about 6 of them which is impressive for a fella from the Galtee mountains and not the Pyreniees. 

3. Holiday Efficiency 

I think that it is very important to be efficient with one’s holidays. The main reason I’ve ended up doing Age so many times is because it’s on the August Bank Holiday weekend and that is a good week for holidays in the Pyrenees as Irish people don’t go to the Pyrenees and the flights are cheap. 

4. Value

I think that small road races in Spain are amazing value. For a grand total of €30, we got three race entries with personalised bibs for me, Rhona and Billy, two Puigcerda branded towels and a bag of other goodies. There was even chip timing for what it’s worth in an approximados race with at least 2k of deadly rocks trail.

5. The Toilat

I think that the race could do with a few portaloos. I asked the lady at the registration desk in my best Spanish if there was a toilet. I don’t know if she was confused by my Limerick pronunciation of Toilet or not but she shook her head and pointed in the direction of some bushes. 

6. Manic Start

I think that you have to do a few Spanish races to learn not to panic at the start when half the field is ahead of you after 100m. Uphill starts like in Age are particularly dangerous for this. Yet again after 100m I found myself in about 20th position as we ran through the ridiculously narrow streets of the small Catalan town of Age. Not to worry, once we got through the town I worked my way through to second place thinking this is grand now I can run with the fella in first.

7. Talent or Blow Up

I think that I was unlucky that the local future elite runner decided to turn up in Age. After about 500m of the race I had a decision to make. I was clear in second and about 50m of first. I could see he was looking around. He was going at about five minute mile pace and looking untroubled. I decided that he was way more talented than me so I let him off and hoped that he would blow up on the rocky trail.

8. Very Talented 

I think that I was lucky to witness the destruction of the course record that took place. I was right not to even try and go with the local young Ryan Creech as he destroyed the course record and made me look like the moderately old man that I am. I got a bit complacent on the deadly rocks trail section with about 2km to go and started to hear footsteps behind.

9. In Defence of Second

I think that I did well to hold onto second. I knew that all I needed to do was get to the end of the deadly rocks trail before the downhill plunge to the finish in Age. I sprinted as hard as I could up the hill to the finish line in second place and first placed moderately old man which gets its own podium in Spain which is important and great. 

10. Podium and Billy’s Race 

I think that it is great to have the children’s races after the adults race. Billy ran in the mini 150m race, I ran with him, we won the race because we got a medal which was great. Then I went onto the podium twice and Rhona did once so we all got a prize. 

Churchtown South 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Churchtown South 4 Mile 2024

1. Ballycotton Weather

I think that people from the city should assume that the weather will be good in Ballycotton for a race regardless of the weather in the city. It has it’s own microclimate. Leaving a rainy Glanmire I was worried about a wet race before arriving in Churchtown and remembering that it is always sunny in South East Cork

2. Different Field

I think that the field we parked in for the race this year was a lot better than last year’s field. It was manned by a man who said he was either Sean McGrath’s brother or father. In the field I met Viv who had travelled down especially to beat me because I had destroyed him in Dublin in the 10 miler.

3. Same Field

I think that other than the addition of Viv the field of runners for the race was almost identical to last year. The only difference was that Tony Forristal wasn’t carrying a phone in his hand which would presumably make him even faster than last year.

4. East Cork Mafia

I think that it is very intimidating to be running in East Cork in a sea of East Cork maroon singlets. Viv and Anthony Mannix were the only other non-East Cork people in the lead group when the race got under way. The first mile of the race is a gentle downhill so I just sat at the back of the lead group and hoped that it wouldn’t get too fast.

5. Time vs Racing

I think that Nick O’Donoghue was too worried about how his race was going to look on Strava. After an initial quick downhill mile the pace slowed quite a bit for the second mile. I didn’t know how slow we were going as I am banned from looking at a watch in a race under 10k but it seemed a lot slower. As we passed the two mile mark Nick looked at his watch let out a roar and took off up the road which restarted the pace again.

6. Cruise Ship

I think that it is a good sign of how focused you were on the race that you miss the spectacular sight of a cruise ship on the horizon at the most scenic part of the course. The views between mile 1 and 3 are amazing if you have time to look, unfortunately for me I spent the time looking at the James McCarthy and Tony Forristal’s Vaporflys.

7. The Sequel

I think that Tony Forristal essentially ran the same race as last year. I think even the time was the same. I remembered the spot he made his move last year and was ready for the attack, despite my knowledge of the likely spot of the attack I could do nothing when the attack was launched. Only James McCarthy made any attempt to follow so I tried my best to hop on his back.

8. The Slip

I think it shows how obsessed Viv is with beating me that even when I nearly fell at the hairpin that brings you onto the final mile he still stayed behind me. The near fall was quite spectacular, my Vaporflys skidded on the loose gravel, I nearly ended up on the ground but owing to my amazing agility I caught the fall and quickly refocused on catching James McCarthy and keeping Viv behind.

9. Second

I think I did very well to catch James McCarthy in the last mile. I went straight by him hoping that I would break his spirit especially as Viv was on my back and the sight of both of us flying by would be very demoralising. I knew that Viv would wait until the last possible moment to launch his attack because he’s afraid of the air so I did everything I could to get rid of him. I thought I had him gone but I was very wrong.

10. Fourth

I think that I couldn’t have picked two worse people than Viv and James McCarthy to have to sprint against over the last 200m. I did my best but I went from second to my usual fourth in the blink of an eye. The speed of the two lads was frightening with James prevailing over Viv because Viv only hates me. Luckily there was a prize for fourth so it wasn’t as tragic as usual especially as I managed to stop total East Cork dominance by beating Nick O’Donoghue. Although he did seem very happy with his prize for 5th which included a huge hamper with a box of tea bags that he said he would sell in the morning.

The Hilliest Cork BHAA 5K in History 2024

10 Things I Think About The Hilliest Cork BHAA 5K in History

1. Don’t be Late

I think that I must have a terrible reputation for lateness. I am not the reason that BHAA races start not exactly on time, I may be a contributory root cause but I am not the root cause. I must have featured highly on Lizzie’s clipboard list of things that could delay the race as I received a personal message warning me about the starting time. It worked as I was there a full 45 minutes before the 7.30pm start time.

2. Signs, Stewards and Gazebos

I think that the race was thoroughly organized, project managed almost. It was like being at an airport. There were stewards everywhere in orange jackets who knew that they had a job to do and who were determined to do it well. There were signs where to go and gazebos with signs for where to register. Nothing could possibly go wrong and it if did it wouldn’t stay wrong for long.

3. Olympians

I think that it was great to have three Olympians and four people who have run in the world cross country at the race. Sonia was there to start the race, Lizzie was there to organize the race, Donie was there to watch and I was there to run the race. Although no one asked for a photo with me for some reason, apart from Mark Walsh who was forced to take a photo with me by Mick Dooley who said that if I was a make of car he’d buy one tomorrow.

4. 236 Feet

I think that the route for the race would make a great race for the television. It was fabulously hilly, in fact there was no flat, it was either up or down. It was a simple route, two laps of the campus. Each lap had two hills, a mini hill to the entrance of the campus and a humongous hill at the left-hand turn after SuperValu. Altogether it came to 236ft of climbing which is more than the previous hilliest Cork BHAA 5k Novartis and should have suited John Meade perfectly which is probably why he turned up.

5. The Start

I think that the start of the race was more like a race in England. There were lots of people who had imaginary clipboards and at least one megaphone each who knew how the whole thing was going to work. I imagine that they even had a walk through of the whole process before the race it was that well organized. I have only experienced this level of organization once at a race in Oxford where everyone was walked up to the start based on expected time. It worked well, very calm.

6. GAA Jersey

I think that when the race got under way I was horrified to see a GAA jersey leading the race out. My initial thought was Lizzie has got some good fella down from Dublin, dressed him in a GAA jersey and non-magic shoes to torment us all. Local elite level Cork BHAA club runners fear nothing more than being beaten by a GAA player and she would know this, so it was within the bounds of possibility. We all know that the best athletes are in the GAA but normally 70 miles a week is enough to beat raw talent. The GAA player was putting it up to Mark and Gavin up front, John Meade was in trouble and myself and Tadhg who would make a great midfield duo for any local club team were struggling majorly to hang on.

7. Aggressive Tadhg

I think that Tadhg might have thought that he was actually back playing GAA because of the sight of the GAA jersey. I had spent most of the warmup motivating him so he was determined to beat me badly. Every time I dared to pass him there was a big reactionary surge. The first time up the humungous hill I went to go by him at the top but he was having none of it and nearly ran me off the road into the ditch. I approve greatly of these tactics. It is great to see. What wasn’t great to see was that the GAA jersey was still up the road ahead of even the great John Meade.

8. The Humongous Hurtful Hill

I think that the second time up the humongous hill was too much for me. If I was a person who makes excuse and I am, I would say that I was too tired after the hilly 10-mile race in Dublin. Tadhg wasn’t going to let me past anyway without a fight so I decided that it was best just to stay a bit back from him but close enough that he would keep going and perhaps we might catch both John Meade and the GAA Jersey.

9. Sodium Alginate

I think that it was a great pity that the race didn’t finish at the very bottom of the hill instead of halfway down the hill. I could probably have won the race if there was more downhill as according to Strava I was the fastest person down the hill. In the end I finished sixth a respectable amount behind Tadgh, John Meade and the GAA Jersey who to make it worse was wearing a pair of New Balance Rebel V3s which aren’t even magic shoes, Gavin and Mark Walsh were a little bit further ahead again but not too far. Once we finished the race, we were offered water in the form of a washing machine capsule which was unusual. Apparently, it’s the same stuff that they use to make Maurten gels. I didn’t try one as they looked scary. Trevor Woods smashed one on his head like an egg which seemed unpleasant but fun.

10. Phew

I think that it was a relief to find out that the GAA Jersey was actually a normal runner like the rest of us and not a fella only doing 10 miles a week who decided to do a 5k for the craic which would be a major issue for our egos. His name was Colm Fitzgerald and he’d beaten me in the Cork Marathon two year ago so it was all ok. We were nearly as relieved as Lizzie who did a great job at project managing the race along with all the stewards. They should do it again next. It was very good, different but not too different.