Greenway Half 2024

10 Things I Think About The Greenway Half 2024

1. Greenways are Great

I think that greenways are great. There couldn’t be enough of them. The one from Glanmire to Carrigtwohill has made running around Glanmire safe and almost nice. The one in Dungarvan is even better because it is fully safe and very nice. I had forgotten to enter the Greenway Half but luckily the very nice people in West Waterford A.C do “elite late entries” for moderately good elite BHAA road runners like me.

2. Dungarvan > Cork

I think that Cork City Council should be sent on a trip to Dungarvan to see what a town should look like. It is incredible, it reminded me of Paris during the Olympics, washed, cleaned and tidied like they were expecting very important visitors. The footpaths are so clean you could drop a piece of toast on the ground and consider eating it. It is very unlike Cork.

3. Car Pool Karaoke

I think that point to point races like the Greenway Half pose some additional logistical challenges. The organizers had helpfully provided buses to the start, but I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to psych out Viv in the car on the drive over to the start by carpooling with him. I parked in the field at the Railway Cottage ran over to Viv’s car and got driven to the start in Kilmacthomas where I collected my number from a white van in the car park.

4. Flapjack Factory

I think that the start of the race was very fast. The race starts about 2k east of the Coach House Café which is more or less the top of a small hill. We took off down the hill at a ridiculous pace for a half marathon led out by my opponent from Clonmel Dermot. It wasn’t long before we passed the nice bridge by the Flapjack Factory. I looked at my watch and saw that we were on about 68-minute pace so decided to go to the back of the group and hope everyone would blow up very soon.

5. Weeeee

I think that it took about 5k for the downhill momentum to run out. It would be fine if the downhill stopped and it was flat for a bit but instead it goes back up again for another 5k reversing all of the lost altitude. It was on this climb that I got into trouble. First the early pace setter Dermot dropped off, then I let a small gap develop between me and Viv who had hitched his wagon to the front group of three. I kept telling myself I was being sensible and the front four were mad but quickly switched to blaming the AlphaFlys when the gap started to grow.

6. Awful Alphas

I think that I will have to retire the AlphaFly 3s from racing. I have given them a good few goes now, I just don’t get on with them. They are very comfortable and great for doing a long run where pace isn’t important but trying to change pace in them is impossible. They are huge and heavy in my size UK 12, I notice every plodding step in them which is not what you want in a race shoe. I spent every mile of the race wishing that I had worn my Vaporflys so I could catch up to Viv who seems to work much better in AlphaFlys.

7. No Sense

I think that the last 10k of the race was a form of torture. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing in front of me. Viv who I had administered the mother of all bad beatings to over 10k a few weeks ago was flying. He went through 10k faster than he ran for a 10k race. I know I motivate him because he loves beating me but this was ridiculous. I’m far better than any drug, stick me in a race with Viv and he is transformed.

8. Tunnel

I think that my favourite part of the course is the bit from the tunnel to the finish. The tunnel arrives at almost exactly 10 miles. Those 10 miles had been absolute torture as I could see the front group of four containing Viv, Pat Fitzgerald, Aidan Connell and Conor O’Brien just out of reach for everyone of the 10 miles. It is very dark in the tunnel and very silent, I used the darkness and silence of the tunnel to count the gap to Viv at the rear of the front group, 30 seconds, probably impossible over three miles.

9. Copper Coast

I think that the scenery that appears after the tunnel is as good as anywhere in the world. Turning the corner at 11 miles to see the sea on a sunny Saturday morning almost made the fact that Viv was 30 seconds up the road tolerable. I’ve seen the view a good few times now but it never gets old and was even nicer with a tailwind and not the usual headwind. At this point I gave up on catching Viv and resigned myself to fifth which luckily enough there was a prize for.

10. All Credit to Viv

I think that Viv might be the current greatest active Irish runner. Age adjusted his time would be 1:01 for the half marathon, I’m unsure if age adjusting accounts for a tailwind and a downhill course in magic shoes but it’s still far better than me and most runners in the country. I humbly accepted my beating, collected my prize for fifth which was great and drove Viv and Gavin back to their car in Kilmacthomas before cycling the greenway with Billy and Rhona for the afternoon which is what Greenways are also great for. A great day out aside from the bad beating.

Cork BHAA Amazon 5k 2024

10 Things I Think About The Amazon 5k

1. The Dump

I think that Tramore Valley Park is my least favourite place for a race in the world. It has no trees, this is my main issue, how can you have a park without trees. I doubt animals like it, a terrible place, so I was very motivated to go and run the BHAA race in the park with no trees.

2. Ungoablethroughable Tunnel

I think that 7.15pm on a Wednesday evening when some of the schools have gone back is a terrible time for a race. I had planned to go through the tunnel but I found out from Gruff that it was ungoablethroughable so I had to go over the Northside and down St Lukes which took ages. It would have been quicker to run from Glanmire to TVP.  

3. Agent Graham

I think that Graham is great, because of the traffic apocalypse I asked Rhona to message Graham to ask him if he would get our numbers as we were probably only going to arrive five minutes before the start. It would have been fine if people hadn’t started giving out about the BHAA races starting on time but now they start exactly on time so you can’t relax.

4. Not Even a Mile

I think that I didn’t get enough of a warmup because of the traffic apocalypse. My warmup consisted of running over to Graham to get the numbers, running back to the car then running back to the start. Sometimes this sort of warmup can work as adrenaline kicks in but this was a race in TVP a place that sucks motivation from the soul because of the lack of trees.

5. There’s No Michael Harty

I think that it was great to see Michael Harty back in action, it was just terrible that he chose a BHAA race around TVP to make his comeback. I had initially only seen the two Barrys so I wasn’t exactly delighted to find out that first place had already been decided, all I could hope for was that he hadn’t registered like one of the Barrys.

6. There Was Two of Them

I think that it would have been a great race between myself and the two Barrys (Twohig and Donovan) if Michael Harty wasn’t there. Instead after about 100m the race was over and Michael Harty was miles of barren treeless landscape ahead. I was left to battle the two Barrys for second and fourth place. My initial thought was that fourth place was highly likely.

7. Cork Has Only One Track Club

I think that the Cork Has Only One Track Club are a great supporter of BHAA races, they had two runners in the battle for second place Ruairi Manning paced myself and the two Barrys for the first lap of the treeless park. It was the perfect pace for me, not too fast and not too slow. I sat behind one of the two Barrys and accidentally clipped his heels twice which is fine because of Anthony Mannix.

8. Bowling Ball Barry

I think that I did well to avoid a collision on the last lap. With about a kilometer to go it was down to just me and the two Barrys for second place. I was sat on Barry Donovan’s left should as we turned right just after the exit for Douglas. Up ahead there were two people walking on the path, they drifted across the path from left to right as we approached. I assumed that Barry Donovan would go right around them but instead he ran straight through the middle of them like a bowling ball. I had already gone right to go around them but as Barry had split them the person on the outside hit my watch with their elbow and stopped my watch. I pressed go on the watch again and sprinted after Barry who had got a small gap.

9. Teddy Bear Mountain

I think that I probably did as well as I could versus the two Barrys. I caught back up to Cork Track Club Barry as we approached the outdoor gym. I decided to try and get away from them before the teddy bear hill but it was pointless and the two Barry monsters tore off up the hill at a ridiculous rate leaving me to run home in fourth as I’m well used to doing.

10. 8th Fourth Place

I think that I don’t finish fourth as often as people think. This was only my eight 4th place finish this year which isn’t too bad and to make it even better Cork Has Only One Track Club Barry wasn’t registered so I was actually 3rd BHAA runner which meant I got a prize. Unfortunately, I had to leave immediately after the race so my Agent Graham had to pick up my prize.

Clonmel Half Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Clonmel Half Marathon

1. Hop’s Last Stand

I think that the Clonmel Half Marathon should invite back former champions for the 10-year anniversary of their victories. It is coming up on 10 years since the great day when Cullen’s finest runner John O’Connell won a great victory over Conor McCauley around the streets and hills of Clonmel. I would love to have beaten both of them badly but I wasn’t excellent enough at the time, all I can do now is try and beat the time, 1:12:18, which was good enough 8 years ago in the bad old days before magic shoes.

2. Early O’Clock

I think that early morning races just don’t suit me. There should probably be a ban on races before 11am to make it fair for sleepy people like me. The ideal time would be about 2pm like the half marathon in Den Haag which horrified John Meade and Viv. I had to get up at 6.30am to get ready for Clonmel. I was extraordinarily tired and considered not getting up at all. I wasn’t much better by the time I arrived in Clonmel at 9am where the weather was pleasant if a little windy.

3. Terrific Track

I think that the track in Clonmel is probably quicker to get to from Glanmire than MTU. It takes 49 minutes to get to the Clonmel track on the motorway. MTU at 5pm would probably take at least an hour and a half plus the track in Clonmel is far more magnificent. My favourite part of the track is not the track but the crushed beige gravel loop around the track. That crushed beige gravel should be everywhere. It is the best surface for running on.

4. 1,2,3,4

I think that I picked the wrong half marathon to do. There were very good prizes for first second and third place with nothing for fourth, this worried me greatly considering my innate ability to finish fourth. Willy Maunsell, Jake O’Regan and Sean Doyle was a bad combination to see on the starting line. Fourth was probably the best I could hope for, fourth would be victory especially if I could beat John O’Connell’s time and failing that Conor’s.

5. 68 or 69

I think that it was Tadhg O’Sullivan’s fault that I ended up doing the first kilometer with the proper elite athletes. He jokingly said to me before the start you are probably going for 68 or 69. The disrespect from the young fella made me so angry I decided I would try and run 69 and show him how great I am. Trying lasted about a kilometer, after which I looked at my watch saw 5:14 pace and decided that 69 is only possible in Spain in January.

6. Reverse

I think that I am a very sensible moderately old man athlete. After the huge failure to run with Willy Maunsell, Jake O’Regan and Sean Doyle I sensibly decided that I would wait for the second group containing Tadhg, Dermot Gorman and Ray O’Connell to catch me. I ran a handy second mile letting the Willy led group of elite’s drift off into the distance and sure enough I could soon hear the Alphaflys and Vaporflys clapping off the ground behind me indicating that it was time to get going again.

7. Marfield Hill

I think that it took about two minutes for me to regret slowing down to wait for the group. The noise of the Alphaflys and Vaporflys clapping off the ground seemed to be worse than normal. Then to make it worse I saw the huge hill at about 3 miles that looks like the hill from the Paris Olympic Marathon in that you can see it for a long time before you have to run up it. I’m pretty sure this hill wasn’t there in John O’Connell’s time.

8. Dermot and Donal

I think that once we got over the huge hill I started to feel good again. This was probably because we were running downhill with the wind behind us. The group reduced to just me and Dermot which also revealed that the noise was not coming from Tadhg’s Alphafly 3s as I had suspected and blamed but in fact from Dermot’s Vaporfly 3s. Myself and Dermot ran together nicely until the cone where we turned around and ran back towards Clonmel at which point I managed to get a gap on Dermot which didn’t make sense as I wasn’t really trying to drop him not wanting to run into the headwind home on my own.

9. Clonmel Clip

I think that there are very angry Sunday drivers in Clonmel. I had a nice solo run along by the nice river into the vicious headwind from mile 8 to 11. Then for the last two miles we ran up through Clonmel back to the track. Two cars, a Skoda with a RN reg and a Mercedes with a D reg did that thing they do to cyclists where they try to clip you with the wing mirror even though there is nothing on the other side of the road to prevent them moving out. When the Skoda stopped at the red light just after trying to clip me, I was so tempted to remove the wing mirror from the car but instead restrained myself to some Italian and Limerick style gesticulations which hopefully weren’t captured by any photographers.

10. Around the Track

I think that the cars trying to clip me greatly helped with the last two miles. I was so angry I ran quite well even though it was all quite uphill, anger is a great fuel. I was very happy to turn onto the lovely track for the last 350m with no one behind me as I am terrified of being caught and passed on a track particularly by John Meade. Dermot was about 50 seconds behind, so I was safe to enjoy my first lap on the closest track to Glanmire on my own. I was close enough to the historic time of John O’Connell and even closer to that of Conor McCauley, more importantly I was back to being fourth again which meant I could do more miles on the lovely beige crushed gravel loop without worrying about missing the prizegiving.

Rathcormac 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Rathcormac 4 Mile

1. A Very, Very, Very Cunning Plan

I think that the most important part of being a local elite level club BHAA runner is that you learn from your mistakes. The second most important part is to pick the race the day after nearly everyone faster than you has run in the BHAA race. I really like the Stryker 4 mile route but I figured there was a good chance that the Wednesday race would be more popular given the weather forecast so I kept my race effort for Thursday in Rathcormac.

2. Cross Country Weather

I think that it was great to get a reminder of what the cross-country races will be like in a few month’s time. I hadn’t run a race in the wind and rain since the Kinsale 10 mile which was one of the coldest wettest, windiest races ever. Rathcormac in August is generally sunny and warm but this year it was wet and almost cold. Perfect weather for a fella that loves the misery of a cross country race in November. Not perfect weather for all the poor volunteers like Graham who had to stand around in the pouring rain.

3. Park Life

I think that Rathcormac has a great setup for a road race. If you were to design a place to hold a road race you couldn’t do much better. It has a lovely half a mile warm up loop a short jog from the start with lots of parking beside the warm up loop. I warmed up with Liam O’Connor who Kieran McKeown had sent to beat me and Chris from Norway who fixes all of the broken runners.

4. James McCarthy

I think that it was inevitable that someone from East Cork would show up in Rathcormac. It is in their territory so they’d have to send someone, thankfully that someone was James McCarthy and not Tony Forristal. I haven’t been anywhere near Tony in races but James has had to work hard to beat me so I wasn’t too horrified to see him on the startline. There was no John Meade.

5. My Lovely Horses

I think that the Rathcormac race should use the horses in the race for advertising. It is a very nice route with horses running alongside the course for the first few 100m. Once we had passed the nice horses I started to concentrate on beating James McCarthy. I figured that given the way the race in Churchtown South unfolded there was no point in running with him to the finish as he would destroy me if he was even within sight of me once the finish was visible. So I set to work trying to run as fast as I could for the whole 4 miles which is the point of the race in the first place I suppose.

6. Just the Two of Us

I think that it took a bit longer than I thought it would to get the race down to just me and James. Liam O’Connor and Keith Kelly were hard to shake off. It took until the right-hand turn in Castlelyons to be free of them. I was particularly worried about Liam as he has been running 16 flat for 5k and will probably beat Viv soon which means he will probably beat me too.

7. Never Beat Your Heroes.

I think that when I started running races about 16 years ago, I never thought that I would end up in a battle with James McCarthy in a road race. James used to win everything, especially in East Cork, he is miles and miles better than me, a different species of an athlete with a proper 5k PB on the track before magic spikes came along and made average runners like me reasonably annoyingly fast. John Meade tells a great long story short about the time he beat James in the Ballycotton 5, never did I think that I would get the opportunity to do the same albeit in Rathcormac about 10 years later.

8. The Sound of the Vaporflys

I think that the great thing about Vaporflys is that you don’t have to look behind you to tell if you are getting a gap on someone or not. With about a mile and a half to go I suddenly started to hear that the Vaporflys of James McCarthy were getting less loud. The sound started to get fainter and fainter, then with a little bit more effort there was no sound just my own Vaporflys splashing the water from the road. I couldn’t believe it. I dared not look behind for fear that my ears were deceiving me.

9. Fear and Loathing in Rathcormac

I think that leading a race is terrifying. It is possibly one of the worst feelings ever. A feeling of complete terror. On the very rare occasions that I’m leading a race close to the finish I have a large Michael Herlihy head on my shoulder laughing at me. I was utterly terrified for the last mile and a half. I ran in complete fear. I knew that I had to keep going all the way to the line as if I wasn’t at least 10 seconds ahead with 400m to go I was in trouble. As luck with have it Rhona and Billy were standing about 400m from the finish. They didn’t say anything about anyone behind so I relaxed a little. I didn’t look back because that’s not allowed.

10. Complete Stranger to Winning Races

I think that the guy calling out the names at the finish line gave me too much credit. A man who is no stranger to winning races is not how I would describe myself. A man who is no stranger to coming fourth would be much more accurate. Anyway, it was wonderful to finally win a race especially as I ran faster over the same distance than both Michael Herlihy and Viv did in the BHAA race so it was almost a double victory. After a warm down in the rain with James and Keith Kelly around the best warm up loop in the country it was back to the hall with the impressive spread to collect first and not fourth prize for once. It was a good plan.

Cork City 10K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cork City 10k

1. UCC 10K

I think that it is a sign that I am becoming a very old man that I think of this race as the UCC 10K. It can be nothing else in my head. Any race that goes out the Lee Road and back in the Straight Road is the UCC 10K. The greatest BHAA race in history, won mainly by John Meade. Unfortunately, John Meade couldn’t do this one as he had to volunteer, all credit to John Meade and the other volunteers.

2. Hills of Glanmire

I think that tapering doesn’t work for me. There must be a level of individual variability to it, I mean no one is telling Sifan Hassan that she would have won the Olympic marathon by more if she hadn’t run the 5k and 10k, actually someone probably is, but anyway I don’t like tapering, so I ran 12 miles two steps behind David Buckley the day before the race because I like running and the weather was nice.

3. Western Gateway Building

I think that I will always associate UCC with worry and stress and being late. The only difference this time was that I was late for a race and not for a lecture or an exam. Fifteen minutes before the start is too late to be getting out of the car. I blame collecting the number the day before because it makes you complacent. A five-minute warm up and a trip to the queue less toilets and I was ready to race. Derek was late too so we jogged over together.

4. Loads of Them

I think that there were too many good runners on the start line. It was quite intimidating. Top 20 would be good I thought as I looked around and graded myself. Sean Tobin who I remember from the tent in Aarhus at the World Cross Country when the Irish team manager was horrified to see me, Ryan Creech Ireland’s number one marathon runner and a load of other people who are way faster than me or think they are faster than me. Then just before the start they started playing The Alan Parsons Project tune from the Berlin marathon to make it even more intimidating.

5. Mount Lee Road

I think that the race was dominated by two things, the mountain of a climb on the Lee Road and the very flat, very long Straight Road. Once we got underway, we were quickly split into two groups, those who thought they could beat Sean Tobin and Ryan Creech and those who thought they could beat the first lady. I was in the second group with Conor McCauley, Michelle Finn and Shona Heaslip. Viv and Michael McMahon were no where to be seen which was wonderful. I got slightly dropped by Conor and Shona on the mountain but using my incredible descending technique I regained all the lost time on the other side.

6. The Bad Bridge

I think that it was the skew bridge that ruined my race. I have big problems with short little inclines like bridges. I had just regained contact with Shona and Conor when the bridge at the back of the Anglers Rest arrived to ruin my day. Conor and Shona flew over it whereas I struggled with the combination of the uphill twisting and turning left and right, with that a small gap opened and we turned out onto the most feared road in all of Cork, the Straight Road.

7. The Straight Road

I think that the straight road is an awful place. I felt like I was running on the straight road forever during the race. It really is an awful stretch of road. It was utterly awful mainly because Shona and Conor were gradually getting barely further and further away from me. I dared not look behind for fear that I could see what I was imagining, Viv marauding after me in full terminator mode so I tried my best to concentrate on keeping my cadence less slow and my form less terrible. It was incredibly boring and terrifying.

8. The Straight Road

I think that when I finally retire from my illustrious running career, I will wake in the middle of the night terrified that I’m halfway down the Straight Road being tracked down by Viv. It took what felt like 20 minutes to get to the turn off for Inchigaggin Lane. Shona and Conor were now barely slightly further ahead than they had been when we got onto the straight road, not much else had changed except I was beginning to get tired and was slightly more confident that Viv wasn’t going to catch me as that would mean he would be catching Conor and that while possible was unlikely to occur.

9. Still on the Straight Road

I think that the least terrible part of the Straight Road is the bit where the bus lane begins. The road widens out and it suddenly starts to feel less like the world’s longest treadmill. I got to the bus lane slightly further behind Shona and Conor than I was at the start of the straight road but still close enough to indicate that I hadn’t slowed too much. I turned left into the Lee Fields finally off the awful Straight Road to hear Donie tell me to get under 33 minutes which I did just about, successfully completing a very bad beating of Viv.

10. First Moderately Old Man

I think that it was a wise decision of the organizing committee to have a moderately old man prize, it is the most underappreciated age category, it is so underappreciated that I assumed there was no prize and had to rely on the best volunteer in the world Graham to collect my prize. As for the race, I think they should keep this route as it is one of the classic routes in the country if not world and avoid going back to the Marina, there are too many races down the Marina, perhaps we could do a second lap and make it a 20k, do the straight road twice, wouldn’t that be nice.

Paris 2024 Olympic Marathon Pour Tous 10K

10 Things I Think About The Marathon Pour Tous 10K

1. Last Minute

I think that good things come to those who give up. I won an entry to the 10K which was to be held on the Olympic Marathon route ages ago but when I looked at how much it was going to cost I gave up. The day before the race I gave one last check of Ryanair and hotels and found that what was ridiculous was now not bad. Rhona encouraged me to go because she’s great so off I went to Paris at 5:50am on Saturday morning.

2. John Terry

I think that there aren’t enough Olympics in one’s lifetime. As I was in Paris I decided I’d try and go to the stadium to see the real athletes so at 4am before going to the airport I bought tickets from the resale platform for the Stade De France for the Saturday night. The athletics finished at 9.30pm with my race starting at 11:30pm. As there was no bag drop I had to go to the stadium in a pair of Vaporflys, a singlet with a number pinned on and shorts. It might have come in handy if they were short someone for the 5000m, unfortunately they weren’t.

3. Laughing Cow

I think that getting from the stadium to the start took a little longer than I had planned. I met Shane Collins and Conor McCauley at the stadium. I ran over to their seats to watch the the women’s 4x400m team do what I normally do finishing fourth, the full kit came in handy as the security seemed to think I was an athlete and let me through a gate to get over. Once the real Olympians had finished I walked over to the train station and got the train to the Hotel De Ville where my race started. On the train I got talking to an 80 year old German man who ran 2:38 for a kilometre, lived in New York and had worked all his life with the Laughing Cow Cheese company. I told him about Dairygold and milking cows. He seemed impressed.

4. Queue Jumper

I think that the start area of the race was great fun. I had been assigned to the first starting pen. I don’t remember putting in my 10k time so maybe they looked me up. The pen was completely packed with French runners. I used my Irishness to wangle my way right up to the front along with my new friend Martin from Bordeaux who was looking to run 31 minutes. He spoke the French and I did the queue jumping which got us right up the front.

5. En Marche

I think that getting to the actual start line was a little bit complicated. I thought myself and Martin did a great job getting to the front but it was only a holding area before they walked us through a curtain up to the actual start line. There was a lot of pushing and more queue jumping while we walked but it was all fine and I was still near the front. When we got to the actual start Mo Farah appeared out of the darkness about 2 minutes before the start holding a stick which he banged on the ground and did a sort of a Haka. Then he lined up with us along with a few other French celebrities that I didn’t know.

6. Fou

I think that the start of the race was completely mad. When we got underway there was obviously a lot of adrenaline around the place as everyone took off at an insane pace. Poor Mo was swamped, even I passed him. I took it a little bit handy for the first few 100m as it was quite crowded and I wasn’t used to running at 11:30pm at night, all of my queue jumping was undone within a few seconds. Then I got going and started to pass the same people. I didn’t see Mo again.

7. City of Light

I think that there should be more races at night. Running around Paris in the dark in a race would have been amazing if it wasn’t the Olympics. But to race on the actual marathon course with the Olympic Flame/balloon glowing in the background was surreal. We ran past all the sites that I’d seen when I’d watched the men’s marathon on the bus in from the airport. We almost got a better deal than the actual Olympians as Paris is best at night in the dark with all of the lights on.

8. Suffering is Suffering

I think the great thing about running is that it doesn’t matter whether you are running a 10k om the straight road in Cork or in Paris during the Olympics. Suffering is suffering. If you can’t suffer on the straight road you won’t be able to suffer on the streets of Paris at 11:30pm at night during the Olympics. I felt like I was going very very fast for the first 5k as I was majorly suffering. I past poor Martin from Bordeaux who’s dreams of a 31 minute 10k had extinguished like the Olympic flame would only a few hours later. I got to about 7km before my own Olympic balloon burst.

9. Race to the Blue Carpet

I think that the most terrible thing about running is that you always want it to be over even when it is running a race around the streets of Paris during the Olympics. From about 8k on I was praying for the finish as my legs were hurting badly. I hoped for an Alex Yee style resurrection over the same last kilometre but there wasn’t one. I got to the right hand corner onto the finishing straight on the bridge glad to see the finish. I pretended I was an airplane on the finish because it seemed like a good idea at the time and the soft blue carpet looked like a runway at night.

10. Longest Spread Ever

I think that the Parisians know how to put on a good show. The whole race was magical from start to finish everything that you would expect from a run finishing a few minutes after midnight in Paris during the Olympics. Once we crossed the line we walked out to what was possibly the most incredible spread in history. It was about a kilometre long with lots of fruit and madeira cake. There was no tea. I had some fruit and some cake before jogging back to the hotel to go to bed because I was very tired and it was nearly 1am. I’m not sure where I’ll get the tattoo put.

Cursa D’Age 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cursa D’Age 2024

1. Font Romeu

I think that there should be a great punishment for referring to Font Romeu as Font. It is one of the great offences. Font Romeu is a great place and deserves its full title. 

2. Return to Age

I think that the people of Age must be sick of me turning up to their race at this stage. I’ve done it more times than many of the locals. It’s been going for 41 years and I’ve done about 6 of them which is impressive for a fella from the Galtee mountains and not the Pyreniees. 

3. Holiday Efficiency 

I think that it is very important to be efficient with one’s holidays. The main reason I’ve ended up doing Age so many times is because it’s on the August Bank Holiday weekend and that is a good week for holidays in the Pyrenees as Irish people don’t go to the Pyrenees and the flights are cheap. 

4. Value

I think that small road races in Spain are amazing value. For a grand total of €30, we got three race entries with personalised bibs for me, Rhona and Billy, two Puigcerda branded towels and a bag of other goodies. There was even chip timing for what it’s worth in an approximados race with at least 2k of deadly rocks trail.

5. The Toilat

I think that the race could do with a few portaloos. I asked the lady at the registration desk in my best Spanish if there was a toilet. I don’t know if she was confused by my Limerick pronunciation of Toilet or not but she shook her head and pointed in the direction of some bushes. 

6. Manic Start

I think that you have to do a few Spanish races to learn not to panic at the start when half the field is ahead of you after 100m. Uphill starts like in Age are particularly dangerous for this. Yet again after 100m I found myself in about 20th position as we ran through the ridiculously narrow streets of the small Catalan town of Age. Not to worry, once we got through the town I worked my way through to second place thinking this is grand now I can run with the fella in first.

7. Talent or Blow Up

I think that I was unlucky that the local future elite runner decided to turn up in Age. After about 500m of the race I had a decision to make. I was clear in second and about 50m of first. I could see he was looking around. He was going at about five minute mile pace and looking untroubled. I decided that he was way more talented than me so I let him off and hoped that he would blow up on the rocky trail.

8. Very Talented 

I think that I was lucky to witness the destruction of the course record that took place. I was right not to even try and go with the local young Ryan Creech as he destroyed the course record and made me look like the moderately old man that I am. I got a bit complacent on the deadly rocks trail section with about 2km to go and started to hear footsteps behind.

9. In Defence of Second

I think that I did well to hold onto second. I knew that all I needed to do was get to the end of the deadly rocks trail before the downhill plunge to the finish in Age. I sprinted as hard as I could up the hill to the finish line in second place and first placed moderately old man which gets its own podium in Spain which is important and great. 

10. Podium and Billy’s Race 

I think that it is great to have the children’s races after the adults race. Billy ran in the mini 150m race, I ran with him, we won the race because we got a medal which was great. Then I went onto the podium twice and Rhona did once so we all got a prize. 

Churchtown South 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Churchtown South 4 Mile 2024

1. Ballycotton Weather

I think that people from the city should assume that the weather will be good in Ballycotton for a race regardless of the weather in the city. It has it’s own microclimate. Leaving a rainy Glanmire I was worried about a wet race before arriving in Churchtown and remembering that it is always sunny in South East Cork

2. Different Field

I think that the field we parked in for the race this year was a lot better than last year’s field. It was manned by a man who said he was either Sean McGrath’s brother or father. In the field I met Viv who had travelled down especially to beat me because I had destroyed him in Dublin in the 10 miler.

3. Same Field

I think that other than the addition of Viv the field of runners for the race was almost identical to last year. The only difference was that Tony Forristal wasn’t carrying a phone in his hand which would presumably make him even faster than last year.

4. East Cork Mafia

I think that it is very intimidating to be running in East Cork in a sea of East Cork maroon singlets. Viv and Anthony Mannix were the only other non-East Cork people in the lead group when the race got under way. The first mile of the race is a gentle downhill so I just sat at the back of the lead group and hoped that it wouldn’t get too fast.

5. Time vs Racing

I think that Nick O’Donoghue was too worried about how his race was going to look on Strava. After an initial quick downhill mile the pace slowed quite a bit for the second mile. I didn’t know how slow we were going as I am banned from looking at a watch in a race under 10k but it seemed a lot slower. As we passed the two mile mark Nick looked at his watch let out a roar and took off up the road which restarted the pace again.

6. Cruise Ship

I think that it is a good sign of how focused you were on the race that you miss the spectacular sight of a cruise ship on the horizon at the most scenic part of the course. The views between mile 1 and 3 are amazing if you have time to look, unfortunately for me I spent the time looking at the James McCarthy and Tony Forristal’s Vaporflys.

7. The Sequel

I think that Tony Forristal essentially ran the same race as last year. I think even the time was the same. I remembered the spot he made his move last year and was ready for the attack, despite my knowledge of the likely spot of the attack I could do nothing when the attack was launched. Only James McCarthy made any attempt to follow so I tried my best to hop on his back.

8. The Slip

I think it shows how obsessed Viv is with beating me that even when I nearly fell at the hairpin that brings you onto the final mile he still stayed behind me. The near fall was quite spectacular, my Vaporflys skidded on the loose gravel, I nearly ended up on the ground but owing to my amazing agility I caught the fall and quickly refocused on catching James McCarthy and keeping Viv behind.

9. Second

I think I did very well to catch James McCarthy in the last mile. I went straight by him hoping that I would break his spirit especially as Viv was on my back and the sight of both of us flying by would be very demoralising. I knew that Viv would wait until the last possible moment to launch his attack because he’s afraid of the air so I did everything I could to get rid of him. I thought I had him gone but I was very wrong.

10. Fourth

I think that I couldn’t have picked two worse people than Viv and James McCarthy to have to sprint against over the last 200m. I did my best but I went from second to my usual fourth in the blink of an eye. The speed of the two lads was frightening with James prevailing over Viv because Viv only hates me. Luckily there was a prize for fourth so it wasn’t as tragic as usual especially as I managed to stop total East Cork dominance by beating Nick O’Donoghue. Although he did seem very happy with his prize for 5th which included a huge hamper with a box of tea bags that he said he would sell in the morning.

The Hilliest Cork BHAA 5K in History 2024

10 Things I Think About The Hilliest Cork BHAA 5K in History

1. Don’t be Late

I think that I must have a terrible reputation for lateness. I am not the reason that BHAA races start not exactly on time, I may be a contributory root cause but I am not the root cause. I must have featured highly on Lizzie’s clipboard list of things that could delay the race as I received a personal message warning me about the starting time. It worked as I was there a full 45 minutes before the 7.30pm start time.

2. Signs, Stewards and Gazebos

I think that the race was thoroughly organized, project managed almost. It was like being at an airport. There were stewards everywhere in orange jackets who knew that they had a job to do and who were determined to do it well. There were signs where to go and gazebos with signs for where to register. Nothing could possibly go wrong and it if did it wouldn’t stay wrong for long.

3. Olympians

I think that it was great to have three Olympians and four people who have run in the world cross country at the race. Sonia was there to start the race, Lizzie was there to organize the race, Donie was there to watch and I was there to run the race. Although no one asked for a photo with me for some reason, apart from Mark Walsh who was forced to take a photo with me by Mick Dooley who said that if I was a make of car he’d buy one tomorrow.

4. 236 Feet

I think that the route for the race would make a great race for the television. It was fabulously hilly, in fact there was no flat, it was either up or down. It was a simple route, two laps of the campus. Each lap had two hills, a mini hill to the entrance of the campus and a humongous hill at the left-hand turn after SuperValu. Altogether it came to 236ft of climbing which is more than the previous hilliest Cork BHAA 5k Novartis and should have suited John Meade perfectly which is probably why he turned up.

5. The Start

I think that the start of the race was more like a race in England. There were lots of people who had imaginary clipboards and at least one megaphone each who knew how the whole thing was going to work. I imagine that they even had a walk through of the whole process before the race it was that well organized. I have only experienced this level of organization once at a race in Oxford where everyone was walked up to the start based on expected time. It worked well, very calm.

6. GAA Jersey

I think that when the race got under way I was horrified to see a GAA jersey leading the race out. My initial thought was Lizzie has got some good fella down from Dublin, dressed him in a GAA jersey and non-magic shoes to torment us all. Local elite level Cork BHAA club runners fear nothing more than being beaten by a GAA player and she would know this, so it was within the bounds of possibility. We all know that the best athletes are in the GAA but normally 70 miles a week is enough to beat raw talent. The GAA player was putting it up to Mark and Gavin up front, John Meade was in trouble and myself and Tadhg who would make a great midfield duo for any local club team were struggling majorly to hang on.

7. Aggressive Tadhg

I think that Tadhg might have thought that he was actually back playing GAA because of the sight of the GAA jersey. I had spent most of the warmup motivating him so he was determined to beat me badly. Every time I dared to pass him there was a big reactionary surge. The first time up the humungous hill I went to go by him at the top but he was having none of it and nearly ran me off the road into the ditch. I approve greatly of these tactics. It is great to see. What wasn’t great to see was that the GAA jersey was still up the road ahead of even the great John Meade.

8. The Humongous Hurtful Hill

I think that the second time up the humongous hill was too much for me. If I was a person who makes excuse and I am, I would say that I was too tired after the hilly 10-mile race in Dublin. Tadhg wasn’t going to let me past anyway without a fight so I decided that it was best just to stay a bit back from him but close enough that he would keep going and perhaps we might catch both John Meade and the GAA Jersey.

9. Sodium Alginate

I think that it was a great pity that the race didn’t finish at the very bottom of the hill instead of halfway down the hill. I could probably have won the race if there was more downhill as according to Strava I was the fastest person down the hill. In the end I finished sixth a respectable amount behind Tadgh, John Meade and the GAA Jersey who to make it worse was wearing a pair of New Balance Rebel V3s which aren’t even magic shoes, Gavin and Mark Walsh were a little bit further ahead again but not too far. Once we finished the race, we were offered water in the form of a washing machine capsule which was unusual. Apparently, it’s the same stuff that they use to make Maurten gels. I didn’t try one as they looked scary. Trevor Woods smashed one on his head like an egg which seemed unpleasant but fun.

10. Phew

I think that it was a relief to find out that the GAA Jersey was actually a normal runner like the rest of us and not a fella only doing 10 miles a week who decided to do a 5k for the craic which would be a major issue for our egos. His name was Colm Fitzgerald and he’d beaten me in the Cork Marathon two year ago so it was all ok. We were nearly as relieved as Lizzie who did a great job at project managing the race along with all the stewards. They should do it again next. It was very good, different but not too different.

All Ireland 10 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The National 10 Mile 2024

1. Irish Rail

I think that it is great to be able to go to a race on the train. The only problem with the train was that it also involved a hotel to account for the 9am start. Trains are wonderful things, so much less tiring than driving, it would be great if we had Japanese trains or even Spanish trains but I suppose Irish trains are better than nothing.

2. Who’s The Fastest?

I think that Rhona was a bit optimistic in thinking that the question that Denis Mitchell uses to make ShaCarri win the 100m on Netflix would work in a 10 mile race on the 2 mile jog up to the start from the hotel. Keelan Kilrehill is the answer. Definitely not me, maybe I’m faster than Viv.

3. National Tall Man Championships

I think that there were a lot of very tall men in the race. It was particularly unusual. They must be taller in the regions around Dublin that are close enough to get to the Phoenix Park for a 9am start. When we got under way I found myself surrounded by giants like The Conroy brothers, Brian Murphy, Cillian O’Leary and other fellas who are tall but I don’t know. It was a refreshing change from the races in Cork where the only lumbering giants are myself and Michael Herlihy.

4. Fitter Than The Group

I think that when you are running a 10 mile race it is no use if you are only just hanging onto the group after four miles. You might be ok if the race is perfectly flat or even downhill but if there is any uphill at all it will not be good. I got to four miles still in contact with the group of giants. The giants seemed to take their large feet off the gas as we ran along the only flat part of the course on the road outside the park. I briefly considered going to the front but then I remembered how my sensible tactical racing has been working well so I sat in and waited.

5. The Bloody Hill

I think that it was just as well I didn’t go to the front of the group of giants. The minute we turned back into the park and the road went uphill the giants got angry and I was shed out the back of the group. It was an awful steep hill with a green bicycle lane on the left-hand side, I tried running on the green bicycle lane to see if it would help but the giants just went further and further into the distance

6. Olympic Help

I think that if it wasn’t for Colin Griffin I would have been beaten by Viv. I was feeling very sorry for myself after being dispatched by the group of giants. I thought that I must be running terribly to be dropped by giants on a hill as giants don’t go up hills well. Luckily as we ran up the centre of the park Colin Griffin arrived to perfectly pace me. I sat in behind Colin and after a while I didn’t feel so bad about being dropped as I was keeping up with probably the only Olympian in the field.

7. Beautiful Downhill

I think that the giants in Dublin must have different characteristics to the type of giant that I am. After about 5 miles the course turned back on itself and ran back down the hill. I started to feel good again and went in front of Colin for the downhill section. I could see up in front that the gap to the group of giants was closing which was surprising. I didn’t hold out much hope as I knew the last three miles would suit these unusual giants.

8. John Walshe

I think that my primary motivator over the last three miles was getting on John Walshe’s list of good 10 mile performances for the year. We should almost get t-shirts for it like they used to have for the top 100 in Ballycotton. I checked my watch at eight miles which is something I never do and saw 5:25 average pace. I knew the ninth mile was apocalyptically awfully uphill but with Colin Griffin dragging me up the hill I was hopeful that I would just about make the John Walshe list again.

9. No Fourth Place is The Same

I think that while it was great to make the John Walshe list, I should probably have been more concerned with not coming fourth again. On the run to the finish, I had to overtake my pacemaker Colin as he started grabbing at his right hamstring. I only lost two places in the last mile which wasn’t too bad for a fella that can’t sprint. Somehow despite ending up 19th overall I was the 4th moderately old man and first with no medal. This was quite upsetting as everyone else like Shane Collins, Brian Murphy, Viv and Mike Morgan who came up from down south got medals and I didn’t.

10. Merchandise On Sale Now

I think that MyRunResults must realise how hard it is to be always finishing fourth in races. Most people who finish fourth win eventually whereas I am always fourth. Because they are very nice particularly Eimear and the joint best most excellent timing company alongside PopUpRaces they gifted me a lovely jacket which was very kind. It was some consolation along with beating Viv very badly for the lack of a bronze medal.

Cork BHAA GNI 5K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA Gas Networks Ireland 5k

1. Old New Route

I think that the upgrade of the Marina has revealed the most perfect 5k route in the world, flat to slightly downhill with a likely tailwind for the crucial last 3k. If wasn’t for the pedestrian bridge it would be ridiculously fast. It seems that a lot of other people think the same, that or a t-shirt for €5 is capable of drawing a crowd of 600 people to Blackrock on a Wednesday night for a 5k at 8pm in July.

2. Is that the Start?

I think that the BHAA are making good progress in marking out the start line. There was a sign and a line with markers for the different pace levels. It was all very professional. It took very little shouting for people to push back for the race to get underway.

3. Photo, Photo, Photo

I think that it was great that there were so many photographers on hand to take photos of the start. This will be particularly handy for figuring out where the race is to start next time around. There was Graham, Mick Dooley and another photographer who I haven’t seen before. The new photographer was threatening to lie on the ground in the middle of the path about 50m up from the start. This didn’t seem wise even if we are all wearing nice soft magic shoes it wouldn’t be pleasant to be run over, especially by me or Michael Herlihy, thankfully he got out of the way just in time.

4. Tunnel of Sound

I think that the tunnel where the teenagers light fires and break glass bottles is a great tunnel to run in. There is a fabulous sound running through the tunnel in a pack of runners who have just started a 5k. Graham was on hand at the exit of the tunnel to capture the sights and sounds. I had decided after the last 5k on this route that I would stay calm until after the pedestrian bridge so I sat in behind Peter Hanrahan but ahead of Mike.

5. Patience

I think that I did very well to stay patient for the first few kilometres of the race. Normally I am immediately filled with pure hatred and want to get to the front immediately in the hope that I can stay ahead and beat everyone. I resolved this time to keep the hatred simmering before turning it up for the last kilometre if possible. It was difficult to do, it helped that Michael Herlihy was behind me.

6. Bridge the Gap

I think that I used the other runners in the race well. My main goal in the race was not time, it was to beat Michael Herlihy. I spent from the second kilometre to the third kilometre bridging between groups. I even got over the pedestrian bridge relatively fast. Describing how to pace a 5k properly is difficult, it’s like trying to describe how to kick a ball onto a particular point. It’s more of a feeling than anything else.

7. Unexpected Headwind

I think that the reason so many people turned up aside from the t-shirt was the wind forecast. I’m sure everyone else studies Windy before the race to check for excellent tailwinds. On the forecast it looked beautiful with a strong tailwind as soon as we took the sharp left onto the walkway back to Blackrock Castle. Unfortunately, weather apps are unreliable and when we turned we were hit with a brisk headwind for the first 400m. It took until the left-hand turn by Jacob’s Island for the forecasted excellent tailwind to turn up.

8. Trevor

I think that Trevor Cummins had a fantastic race. Trevor arrived with the tailwind. He was tremendously helpful to me over the last 2k. I probably wouldn’t have had any chance of beating Mike without him. We got into a good rhythm from 3k to 4.5k with no signs of Mike. I was happy to work with Trevor but I was not happy to be beaten by him. So I had to come up with a plan how to beat Trevor too.

9. The Taming of the Mike

I think that the best training for races is races. I have been working on the finish of races in my last few races and think that I have gotten slightly less terrible at the last few 100m. It takes concentration and hatred. Mix the two together and you get a sprint. I managed to shed Trevor when we turned left for the last time and could see Blackrock Castle. I kept going hoping and praying that Mike wouldn’t bound by laughing at me like he normally does. Thankfully all my practice paid off and I beat Mike and my new great rival Trevor. Nick O’Donoghue snuck up and finished between me and my rivals unnoticed.

10. First Ever Prize

I think that this is the first time that I have won a top three prize in a 5K BHAA race on in the city. These are the hardest races to win prizes in as loads of people show up. I actually finished fifth which was still great as it wasn’t fourth but Paul Moloney and Barry weren’t registered, so I came third and got a prize which I wasn’t there to collect because I didn’t think I’d won a prize. Thankfully Mark Walsh who came second but actually won was there and collected the prize for me.

Run Skibb Half Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Run Skibb Half Marathon 2024

1. Agent Graham

I think that as one of Glanmire’s leading running influencers it is about time that I get an agent. I only realised the importance of an agent when I went to try and get an entry for Run Skibb. It was proving an impossible task until agent Graham Miekle got on the case, working closely with Mark Gallagher an entry was quickly found. He hasn’t come looking for commission yet.

2. Bere Island

I think that there is an opportunity for races to team up on the same weekend. There are lots of mad people like me who will happily spend the weekend in West Cork doing races. The Bere Island 10k and Run Skibb combination made a nice little running holiday especially as the weather was cooperative. They could do a package deal, maybe include the hotel and some night time kayaking on Lough Hyne. I should get a job with the tourist board.

3. Ronald Regan

I think that if I became president, Skibbereen would be what Ballyporeen is to Ronald Regan, my true ancestral home. Coakley is possibly the most Skibbereen name you could have and sure enough my grandfather was from Skibbereen so it was nice to run a race in place that I have a connection to. It still wasn’t enough to secure and automatic entry, for that I needed Graham.

4. Danny Mullins

I think that I was both delighted and horrified to see Danny Mullins on the start line. I half expected him to be there it being very close to his homeland. I caught and passed Danny in the last kilometre of the Great Railway 25k but he got revenge in the Cork Marathon where he beat me by over two minutes so we were always going to be well matched over a half marathon.

5. Uisce Beatha

I think that both myself and Danny knowing that first prize was a significant quantity of the finest West Cork Whiskey influenced the race. Neither of us drink whiskey so we were happy enough to run together and leave it to a last mile race. Well, I was anyway and when I said it to Danny he didn’t seem to disagree with my idea. I was happy enough with the pace for the opening few miles to the North of Skibbereen, not too fast and not too slow, just right.

6. Sleepy Streets

I think that it was very nice to run through the sleepy streets of Skibb at 9 o’clock on a Sunday morning. Skibbereen is a very nice town, nicely done up with some nice coffee shops and unusual restaurants. It was very quiet as we passed through the streets past Hourihane’s sports shop which I presume is owned by someone related to the fella that plays for Ireland.

7. Lough Ine

I think that my favourite part of the course was the gradual climb out the road to Lough Ine more commonly known as Lough Hyne. The West Cork people mustn’t like tourists as all the sign posts said Lough Ine which was confusing. The scenery was as you would expect in rural west Cork, better than anything anywhere in the world on a sunny day, the only problem was that Danny was beginning to open a gap so I had to stop looking around and focus on running up the hill.

8. Rowing Club

I think that it wouldn’t be appropriate for a race in Skibbereen to not pass the clubhouse of it’s most famous sport, rowing. We passed it at about 11 miles, I had a quick look in but there were no Olympians spotted. Danny had been doing most of the work up to this point, so I decided to give him a brief break and went to the front for a short period to see if I could drop him which I couldn’t primarily because of the constant little hills.

9. An Droichead Nua

I think that some local knowledge might have proven decisive in the race for first place. It took a sharp left downhill turn over a bridge to create a gap. I must have been looking around at the river or not expecting the bridge but before I knew it the race was on and Danny was a good few meters ahead. I might catch him yet I thought so I tried, I wasn’t helped by the last mile being the only flat mile which made making any difference difficult. At least I wouldn’t be fourth.

10. Podium and Prizes.

I think that second is the new fourth when it comes to half marathons. I was happy enough with the effort I made to catch Danny, I made some inroads into his lead on the run to the finish but there were still a few seconds between us in the end. The race had an excellent commentator who did a great interview with me and Danny. I had time to go back to the hotel for a wash before returning for the prizegiving where I was presented with a hamper containing 2.8L of whiskey and some very nice West Cork Distillers clothing which reminded me of the time I won a couple of litres of the finest olive oil at a race in Spain. I like these types of prizes. I like this type of race, I’ll be back, especially now that I have an agent to get an entry.

Tracton 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Tracton 4 Mile 2024

1. Basically Carrigaline

I think that despite racing in Tracton twice I still couldn’t find it on a map. Google maps has extreme difficulty with Tracton, my blind faith in technology took us on a google maps special route through the maze of roads near Kinsale that no local would ever take. Then on the way back I realized that it is only a few new housing estates away from being swallowed by Carrigaline which would be a great pity as it is a lovely quiet mysterious place.  

2. No Viv, No Meade, No Jeremy

I think that it was a great pity that of the top five from last year only myself and Mark Walsh returned. I particularly enjoyed beating John Meade and Jeremy in the race last year and I was close enough to Viv to have caused him great distresss which is my primary goal in a race. Instead of the three lads I was left with only Michael McMahon as a likely rival, I went as far as driving him to the race so desperate was I to have someone to potentially beat.

3. Lots of Leevale

I think that there were too many Leevale in the race. I was expecting Mark Walsh to return as the reigning champion, but I was not expecting both Nate and Gavin to turn up. The problem with having the three of them together is that they feed off each other so there was no hope for a return visit to the podium no matter how hard I tried. I resigned myself to a battle with Michael McMahon for my usualth position of fourth and first person with no prize.

4. Integrated Warm Up

I think that races like Tracton where the warmup is built into the race are a great idea. There really isn’t much need for a long warm up as the jog up the kilometre long 20% gradient hill to the start is enough to be ready for any race. I jogged up with Michael McMahon and reached the summit unusually early for a start for me. I had time for many photos with my Leevale enemies who for once were all wearing the same lovely singlets which looked excellent and very intimidating on the clearly marked PopUpRaces startline.

5. Check Up

I think that after 400m of this race I was considering going straight to the doctor for a check up. My three Leevale enemies took off up the first of many hills at a frightening pace, they were so far ahead that the only logical explanation could be a serious illness and not a serious lack of running ability. Cementing my thoughts that I was coming down with a serious illness Michael McMahon took off after the three Leevale singlets leaving me well behind as we began the first of the countless hills.

6. Canarian Invader

I think that it is great when runners from other countries turn up to local Cork road races. It allows me to know what the local Spanish runners are thinking when I turn up to a local road race in rural Andalusia. What they are thinking is how dare he turn up to my race and reduce my chances of finishing in my usual fourth place. Tracton welcomed Edwin a trail runner from Tenerife who was right at home over the first two miles of Tracton which goes only upwards sort of like a Cork version of Mount Teide with out the risk of volcanic eruption.

7. Fourth Place King of the Mountains

I think that having run the course last year gave me a great advantage over Michael McMahon and the Canarian Invader. I knew that my only chance of victory in the race for fourth place was to get to the top of the mountain at two miles first before I could use my downhill falling ability to stay ahead. I succeeded in my plan and could even see the back of the Leevale singlet of Mark Walsh in third place by the time we reached the summit.

8. Demonic Descent

I think that my descent off Mount Tracton was not as good as last year. Last year I was with Mark Walsh and used him to get a gap on John Meade and Jeremy. This year I had no one to chase as my three Leevale colleagues were desperate to be as far away from me as possible. I had to motivate myself with the thoughts of another finishing straight defeat by Michael McMahon which seemed terrible and very likely given that he hates being beaten by me almost as much as Viv and John Meade.

9. Ominous Drums

I think that the straight road before the final downhill run to the finish in Tracton is more demoralising than the straight road in the Cork Marathon. I could feel myself getting slower and slower as I made my way along the never ending straight. The feeling of getting slower was made worse by the combination of the ominous sound of drums in the distance combined with the ever-increasing sound of Michael McMahon getting closer and closer. It was an apocalyptic scene. Ah well I thought, at least I won’t end up fourth.

10. 1,2,3,4

I think that my issues with finishing fourth are very similar to the problems with artificial intelligence. An artificial intelligence system is only as good as how it is trained. I am trained exceptionally well to finish fourth so that is what I do. I got to the ominous drums without being passed by Michael McMahon and the significantly quieter Canarian. The last 400m of the course are perfectly designed for my abilities so I crossed the line victorious in fourth and happy to have at least beaten Michael McMahon which means I probably would have beaten Viv too. Nate emerged victorious from the properly trained Leevale trio making it a Leevale 1,2,3,4.

Achill Half Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Achill Half Marathon 2024

1. Choices

I think that there are too many races on. I am having to miss races I want to do because there are too many. After last year I have imposed a strict limit of two per week so that meant picking Achill over the Galbally 10 miler. I picked Achill because it is like a holiday half marathon being so far away and I like holidays as much as running.

2. Good Things Come to Those Who Wait for Free Cancellation

I think that I have mastered the art of booking accommodation for races. I waited until three days before the race as that’s when the free cancellation period runs out and sure enough a B&B on the beach 0.25 of a mile from the start appeared. Not only was the B&B right by the start and finish but you could walk out the back door onto the beach, it even had a nespresso machine.

3. Sheep on the Road

I think that it would be nice just to go to Achill Island stay in the B&B on the beach and go for a normal run, that’s what I was thinking when I headed out for my warmup 40 minutes before the start. There were sheep wandering along the road to slow the cars and it was a lovely morning so it would have been nice just to run easy. Instead I turned back and retrieved my magic shoes.

4. Anthony Mannix

I think I will have to send an invoice to the Cork Finally Has a Track Club for a new pair of Vaporflys. When I was putting on my pink Vaporflys in the nice B&B a chunk of the ZoomX foam broke off the heel section that Anthony Mannix keeps clipping me on in the races. It could only be the clipping that caused it as that section of the shoe doesn’t contact anything else. I considered wearing them anyway but as I had an identical spare pair in the boot I swapped to those just to be safe.

5. Unexpected Mannix

I think that Tudor could have had a nice easy day out if he had accepted my kind offer of running with me and then winning like Gary O’Hanlon did a few years ago. Tudor looked like he meant business and sure enough when Brendan Courtney of Off the Rails fame got us under way Tudor tore off after the lead car. I tried to follow but gave up after about half a kilometer once the main photos had been taken. I was just settling into my rhythm when who do I see with his head out the window of a car only Anthony Mannix. Thankfully he was doing the 10k so no clipping occurred.

6. Cadence Catcher

I think that I need to get better at running on my own. I’m terrible at it, if you put me on a straight road on my own and tell me to run I will just get slower and slower until I stop. I need someone with me to make me run any sort of pace. As we approached the top of the mountain that makes up the first 5k of the route I could hear someone behind who was clearly wearing AlphaFly3s. I had a good listen and made sure it was only one pair of shoes before I backed off a little at the top of the hill to have some water and wait for some company.

7. Probing

I think that although I was very happy to have company I also desperately wanted to win second and the €250 that would help to pay for the best B&B ever. After about three miles of running together I decided to see if I could drop my new companion. I first tried on a hill, this didn’t work at all, in fact he nearly dropped me. Then I tried on a downhill, this sort of worked but not really as there was a hill again soon. Then much to my surprise on a flat section of road I started to get a gap, must be a trail runner I thought. So I decided to wait until the end as dropping him on the hills was impossible and the hills don’t end until mile 12.

8. Undropable Man

I think that if I hadn’t of known the course I would have finished 3rd. My running buddy for the half who I later found out was called Oran was impossibly good on the hills. Normally I have to get rid of someone before the finish as I can’t sprint but I figured this time that with the downhill last mile and flat last half a kilometer I was at a major advantage so I matched Oran as best I could on the many many hills and waited for that 12th mile marker to arrive.

9. Best Sprint Ever

I think that it is a pity that I wasn’t sprinting for victory as my sprint in Achill on the beach in Keel was probably one of the great finishes. It started at the 12th mile marker where I launched my finish, I thought I’d get a gap on the downhill but Oran followed and as we entered the town of Keel and the road started to flatten I could still hear him behind. I waited until the sharp left turn into the camp site with the nice smooth tarmac before launching my newest weapon my sprint. For once I was not passed in the home straight and crossed the line victorious in second place and definitely not fourth.

10. Reigning Champion

I think that I must look like a champion. After the race I had a good chat and took photos with Oran and Mick before finishing the half with Rhona. We had time for lunch in The Beehive with Conor and Ciara before the all important prize giving in the white tent in the field. During the prize giving it was announced that I was last years champion which was great as I actually came third but sure what harm, I corrected the record before Brendan Courtney handed me my prize, I probably should have said nothing. Maybe they were just predicting the future as it is surely inevitable that I will return some year, maybe next year and become champion of Achill Island.

Cork BHAA Sterling 5K

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA Sterling 5K

1. Ringaskiddy Again

I think that Ringaskiddy is my favourite location for BHAA races. It’s only 20 minutes from Glanmire, has a good playground for Billy and there’s no trouble with parking like down the Marina. The only problem with Ringaskiddy is the wind and the hills but they can be useful for keeping the fast fellas away.

2. Saw Tooth Profile

I think that there is no way someone would start a new race with a route like this 5K. It doesn’t have a metre of flat road. If you look at the profile on Strava it looks like a bad saw. John Walshe said that the route hasn’t changed since he first measured the route a few years back. It’s nice to have races like this so we can see how much more terrible modern runners like me are. Mark Hanrahan ran 14 minutes on this course which seems impossible, especially without magic shoes.

3. Punctuality

I think that the Cork BHAA get a bad rap for not starting races exactly at 8pm. I was worried that they might start this race early to make a point so I made sure to get to the start 3 minutes before 8pm. Thankfully the relaxed atmosphere remains and we had time for a good chat, a few photos, clapping for Andy and Sarah’s wedding and letting the 223 bus pass before we got underway.

4. Around the Outside

I think that I was surprised at how fast the race went out. I knew from running it last year that the run to the first left hand corner at the ferry port was quick but I got a bit caught out by how quick the lads at the front went out. It took me until the downhill before the bend to get back up to the front group. Then I swept around the outside of the group to the front before I quickly realized that this was not going to be a normal race.

5. Block Headwind

I think that the wind made this race. Once we turned left at the traffic light we were straight into the magical combination that is an uphill headwind. I had no interest in carrying Viv and Co up the hill into the wind so I pulled up and found shelter for the next 2km. Luckily Ray from Togher was quite happy to run a steady pace into the wind up the hill so I sat in and waited for the wind and hill to go away.

6. Thank God for Ray

I think that if it wasn’t for Ray we would still be out running the section between Ringaskiddy and Shanbally. It was disgraceful stuff by the rest of us. No one was willing to run into the wind, everyone wanted to be like Viv and tuck in and wait. Normally I would be willing to try and make it hard but I’m tired of that tactic not working so I choose to be like Viv and sit in and wait for as long as it took which happened to be until Shanbally.

7. Shanbally Shenanigans

I think that there were a lot of people in contention for the win as we passed the 3k mark before turning left up yet another climb at Shanbally. Thankfully once we turned left we only had the uphill to contend with as the wind had disappeared. Gavin began to wind things up so I got straight onto the back of him and hoped I could hang on and that Viv wouldn’t.

8. Hang onto Gavin

I think that the hill out of Shanbally was just about short enough to allow me to hang onto Gavin. Once we crested the top of the Shanbally climb we turned right down a steep hill which was perfect as I was able to use Gavin as a pacemaker all the way to 400m to go. The Vaporflys behind started to get fainter and fainter so I began to believe that I had evolved into a master tactician and would turn all my fourths into seconds without any change in ability or training.

9. I Can Move When I Want To

I think that I got up the final hill much better than normal. Gavin disappeared the minute we hit the climb, it was very unfair how quick he went up it. If I could be like Gavin I would beat Viv easily, unfortunately I’m not and Viv pranced by silently before Aidan stormed by both of us just before the crest of the hill. I was moving a little better than normal up the hill so I held off my other finishing straight enemy Kris and ended up in my usual finishing position.

10. Usualth Position

I think that races that give prizes down to fourth are the best races. This was a very well organized race so I’m not surprised that they thought about recognizing the hard work that goes into consistently finishing in 4th position. Viv was extremely delighted about the bad beating that he had administered. He probably could have beaten Aidan for second but he runs mainly on hatred for me so he stopped sprinting all out once he had me beaten. I’ll just have to accept that he is going to beat me in 5ks, at least I have the other distances.

Courtmacsherry 10K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Courtmacsherry 10K 2024

1. Millstreet

I think that it’s a great pity that Courtmacsherry and Millstreet are on the same night. I’d like to do both races as they are both excellent and both exactly one hour from Glanmire. I went with the one that I hadn’t done before as it was at the seaside, and I had visions of a lovely sunny evening with chips after the race. It had nothing to do with the knowledge that Barry Twohig, Brian Murphy and Mark Walsh were Millstreet bound.

2. GAA Rowing Club

I think Courtmacsherry is like a small Kinsale. I’d never been there before so it was nice go and do a race somewhere new. The problem with doing a new race is that you don’t know where to park. Courtmacsherry wasn’t exactly designed for cars so I took the first car park I saw with a marshal and jogged the three quarters of a mile to the impressive GAA like rowing club to pick up the numbers.

3. Grade A Path

I think that one of my favourite things to do is to spot nice paths for running when I’m driving. One of the nicest paths I’ve seen anywhere in the world is the path between Timoleague and Courtmacsherry. It looks like the road around East Ferry just with a footpath. The sort of path that would make you pull over the car and take the emergency running gear out of the boot to go for a run.

4. Chips, Chips, Chips

I think that while the weather was perfect for running it was not perfect for chips. There was almost no wind which was probably very unusual with a light mist like drizzle perfect for cooling larger frames like myself and Michael Herlihy.

5. Crouching Eagle, Sitting Duck

I think that having finally learnt how to race I will never lead a race again for the first half of a race. When we got underway in Courtmacsherry I was delighted to see Nate take the lead with the two Michael’s Herlihy and McMahon tucking in behind. I took up position with the master tactician Viv patiently waiting to pounce.

6. Mount Timoleague

I think that the first three miles of the race were very pleasant. We ran along the flat winding windless road with the nice path on our way to Timoleague. I did nothing except stay behind Nate and the two Michael’s hoping that no one would go any faster. As we went over the bridge that brought us to the only climb in Timoleague Nate put in a surge, so I asked him to keep it calm as there was a long way to go. Michael McMahon was not happy with this, nor was the other Michael who continued the surge that Nate had started.

7. The Bridge

I think that I was lucky that Viv was in the race. When Nate and the two Michael’s attacked on the climb I was quickly dropped, I wasn’t too worried as I was still with Viv and the gap wasn’t too big. I left the gap open for a bit to try and get Viv to close it but he wasn’t willing to help so I had to catch the breakaway on my own. It took about a kilometer to close the gap which served two purposes in that it got rid of Viv and increased my chances of tormenting Michael Herlihy.

8. Four into Three

I think that I must have the world record for the most 4th place finishes in elite level local Cork road races. I am like the John Meade or Mark Walsh of 4th place. If there is an opportunity to come 4th I will take it. Normally if I was in a group of 4 after 8km of a 10k I would assume that I was going to end up 4th but for some reason I felt very good in Courtmacsherry. I began to think that I could drop the other three whenever I wanted. Even Nate seemed to be breathing a bit. So I began to ready myself for the final kilometer by gently elbowing Michael Herlihy out of the way to get up onto Nate’s shoulder.

9. Undistilled Hatred

I think that I was extremely unlucky to have to race the two Michael’s in the last kilometer. Nate waited until about 400m to go to begin his run for home which we all knew was going to be impossible to follow. I was left to battle Michael Herlihy who returned with interest my elbows from earlier. While we were elbowing each other we had opened a gap on Michael McMahon who I presumed was finished as his breathing was no longer audible. Incredibly as we got within sight of the line the sound of Michael McMahon’s breathing returned as he used pure hatred instead of oxygen to fuel his assault on both myself and Michael Herlihy’s interlocked second place. I had used all my hatred at this point and couldn’t summon a response so ended up fourth, ten seconds behind Nate, four behind McMahon and two behind Herlihy. If it was a session, we’d have called it a draw.

10. Did your Dada beat my Dada?

I think that while I was unlucky not to beat the two Michael’s I was lucky they turned up as they helped immensely in ensuring that I beat Viv very badly which was wonderful. I was also incredibly lucky that there was an M35 prize with the same money as there was for third so losing to Michael Herlihy had no financial consequences. Then to cap it off the only athlete I will ever coach Rhona came third in the women’s race. Please don’t contact me for coaching, I’m totally oversubscribed, Kieran McKeown and John Kinsella are the people to contact.

DePuy Synthes 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The DePuy Synthes 4 Mile

1. Divide and Conquer

I think that the months of June, July and August are the best months for my chances of an elusive victory in a race. The modern runner is unlikely to run more than one race in a week so any week with more than one race on means there’s always a chance I’ll turn up and win. I would be better if I was good enough to win the races by being faster but that would require significant training and minding of oneself which I’m not willing to do.

2. Parking Cones

I think that this is the second year in a row where I got the best parking spot for this race. The trick is to find the gap in the traffic cones. If there are no cones it’s fair game. It turned out that my spot was the startline which was unexpected as last year the race started a bit further back the road.

3. There’s No Gavin

I think that I was very disappointed to see Gavin O’Rourke. Gavin is a lovely fella but I’d prefer if he had minded himself for Courtmac or Millstreet like everyone else was doing. It was only when I got to the startline that I realised he was there. Naturally I was expecting John Meade to hop out of a bush right before the start but I suspect he stayed in the bush when he saw Gavin was there.

4. New Order

I think that my new tactics are working well. I have decided that I am not leading a race for the first mile ever again. I don’t care how slow it is you won’t see me at the front. I am going to be like Viv and John Meade and sit in and wait. Luckily there is always someone willing to take the race out, on this occasion we had Jason in his Dell singlet to take myself Gavin and Andrew Hobbs through the first mile.

5. Hammer Drop

I think that it would have been much better if Gavin had at least let me follow him for three miles. The kick he put in coming off the bridge onto Haulbowline was frightening but probably not surprising seen that his 1500m PB is about a minute quicker than mine. Strava says it was 4:50 pace which is probably why I was finding it particularly difficult to keep in touch

6. Halfway Around The Park

I think that I did well to keep some what in touch with Gavin in the park. Unfortunately as we reached Spike Island the elastic connecting me to Gavin snapped and I was left solo at the worst possible point in the race just as we turned into the headwind that we would face for the final two miles.

7. Thistlefly

I think that I encountered an unusual issue exiting the park. There was thistle growing out of the kerb which I hit with my Vaporfly as I was nimbly and elegantly jumping from the kerb to the road. So for the last two miles I had the rather unpleasant combination of a thistle embedded in my foot running uphill into a demoralizing headwind with no one to race and no hope of catching Gavin.

8. Millstreet or Courtmac

I think that in the third mile of the race I began to think of Friday night. I was tempted to look back to see how much of a gap I had to see if I could save some energy to beat Viv or John Meade on Friday. But I’m not allowed to look behind so I just ran a good effort to make sure I’d be ok.

9. The 223

I think that the bus helped me get to the finish a bit quicker. Gavin had a bike to pace him home so it was just as fair that I had a bus to break the wind for the last few 100m. I got to the line less than a minute behind Gavin which wasn’t too bad, in second place which was great as I like prizes.

10. Podiums and Prizes

I think that it is amazing how the spread at a Cork BHAA race disappears. Do anything more than a 2 mile warm down and there will be nothing left, not even something you don’t like, everything will be gone except bananas so I had a banana while I waited for the photos and the prizes which were great and over before 10pm which was even greater.

Coolagown 10K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Coolagown 10K

1. Coolagown or Donoughmore

I think that it is a terrible shame that my two favourite races in June were on the same night. Both are excellent races with similar hilly finishes. It was very difficult to pick between the two so I went with the one that I haven’t won before because it was closer to Glanmire and John Meade would almost certainly be there.

2. The Usual Suspects

I think that the Coolagown 10K would probably be postponed if John Meade couldn’t make it. I strongly suspect that Coolagown 10K was moved to the same night as Donoughmore to suit John Meade. Nick O’Donoghue who ran the race two years ago but didn’t actually run the race was also present along with new local East Cork resident Conor McCauley

3. Commentary

I think that Coolagown has the best commentary team in athletics, never mind Greg Allen or Steve Cram, Coolagown has Dick O’Brien with his unique horizontal commentary position in the back of a van. When the race got underway a group of four quickly formed containing Nick, John Meade, Nick’s lookalike and another runner. The van containing the commentary team dropped back to our group to ask John Meade who another runner was who told him that it was Conor McCauley, then the van sped up again.

4. Ingebrigtsen Tactics

I think that after 16 years of running I might actually have learnt tactics. It took a while but it is gradually making sense to me. I decided that I would adopt modified Ingebrigtsen tactics like Andrew Coscoran tried in the 1500m final by sitting at the back of the lead group as much as possible.

5. Elite Clipping

I think that the major problem with sitting at the back of a group is clipping. I am an incredibly awkward lump of a runner so running behind people is very uncomfortable. Unfortunately for Conor this meant that I clipped the heel of his white Saucony Endorphin Elite shoes just after a mile. Unlike other runners I apologized immediately so it was ok and not a problem.

6. McCauley is Suffering

I think that when someone becomes like the running version of Manchester City everyone wants to beat them. This was Conor McCauley’s problem in Coolagown. John Meade was on a mission and I was willing to support him with information. After the first two downhill miles we turned right onto the flattish section. Suddenly and inexplicably Conor McCauley started to drift off the back of John Meade, I was so determined to be disciplined with my tactics that I stayed behind Conor even as he slowed. Eventually a gap opened so I bridged up to John Meade and whispered the codewords “McCauley is Suffering” and away he went.

7. Eastasia and Eurasia

I think that it is interesting in running how your enemies, rivals and allies can switch so rapidly. Suddenly John Meade had become my main ally to end Conor McCauley’s Manchester City like dominance. I sat behind Conor for the next two miles while John Meade pushed on but not far enough ahead for the race to be considered over. Being the master tactician that I am I was hoping that John Meade might burn himself out and I might beat the two of them.

8. Silage Season

I think that John Meade had a lot of luck in the last few miles. First we had the silage wagons at four miles which distracted myself and Conor and then the jeep on the road at five miles that allowed him to pick the better line on the road. As we reached the five-mile mark it was still in question who would win. Dick O’Brien in the van was clearly routing for a John Meade victory as we were reminded that the gap was growing.

9. Two Mile Mountain

I think that the Coolagown 10K course has been specially curated to the needs of John Meade. The last two miles are made for him starting with a gradual climb to the left turn where the steep climb kicks in before a downhill sprint where he can use his speed. It is pretty suited to Conor McCauley too as became clear in the fifth mile as I was swiftly dropped and his assault on the lead of John Meade commenced.

10. Party Like It’s 2019

I think that I thought I would never see the day again that John Meade would just prevail over Conor McCauley in a local road race. Back in 2019 they were back and forth every race, then Conor got gooder. It took the 2024 Coolagown 10k and an inspired performance by John Meade to return us to the good old days of 2019. I just about got up the last mountain ahead of my lookalike Nick O’Donoughue to finish on the podium which was very unlike the days of 2019. To celebrate the great race we returned to the white pavilion in the tidiest town in East Cork for excellent apple tart and excellent prizes. A great night.

Dunmanway 10K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Dunmanway 10k 2024

1. Big Big Town

I think that Dunmanway is far bigger than I thought it would be. It’s borderline massive, like a very big Mitchelstown, very unexpected. I have somehow avoided ever visiting Dunmanway over the course of my 38 years so the thought of a 10k race in a new place pleased me greatly, especially on sunny Sunday morning in June.

2. Home of Sam Maguire

I think that the great thing about going to places that you haven’t been to before is that you get to find out new things. I found out that Dunmanway is the home of Sam Maguire and that the GAA club where the race registration was located was his version of my Galtee Gaels. Sometimes I wish I was like Billy where everything is new and wonderful.

3. Father’s Day

I think that I was unlucky that the race was held on Father’s Day. The most important skill in local elite club Cork running circles is to be lucky in who turns up to races, unfortunately for me Mark Walsh decided that a trip to Dunmanway would be a good way to spend Father’s Day which is the same reason I was there.

4. Milan Fashion Week

I think that it was a great pity that I didn’t wear my Leevale singlet for the race. The photos would have looked much better if it had of been two wasp like vests leading the race through the picturesque town of Dunmanway. Instead I chose to wear my warm weather racing Diadora singlet from Milan which is possibly the most fashionable singlet in the country.

5. A Little Respect

I think that it was rather disrespectful of Mark Walsh to assume that I would pace him to 9k before he would run away. I will have to store this disrespect in my brain for use in the up coming cross country season when I will no doubt administer a beating at some point in a bog in West Clare in a very important masters cross country race.

6. Too Much Respect

I think that Mark Walsh was probably too respectful in assuming that I would be able to pace him for 9k. For the first kilometre of the race which ran around the streets of Dunmanway which looked lovely in the sunshine I felt good so I tried to take the race out some bit hard. I was helped by the Garda car which was leading the race. Unfortunately once we got to the first minor incline at 3k Mark decided that he had enough of my company and quickly opened a gap that would only grow larger and larger before I couldn’t see either Mark or the Garda car.

7. Hills

I think that I probably should have done some more research on the course. If I had known how many hills there were I probably wouldn’t have tried to run the first 3k hard. Once we got to 3k the hills started, there seemed to be millions of them. Mark Walsh seemed to vanish into the distance making it seem as if I had stopped to look at the scenery which I was tempted to.

8. The Shaded Wood

I think that the course was excellently marked, one of the best course markings I have ever seen. Junctions were taped off so that not even a herd of cows could go wrong. The passing of each kilometre was celebrated with a line across the road and a big big sign. It was wonderful, a great effort. My favourite part of the course was the flat shaded wood section which was a nice break from the sunshine and hills.

9. The Wall

I think that the last hill was amazing. From 3k to 9k was pretty uneventful for me, I couldn’t see Mark and Joe told me that there was no one behind after taking a photo so I was just trying to run as hard as I could over the many hills. When I reached the 9k line on the road I assumed based on the abundance of hills that there couldn’t be anymore before the finish. Then I looked up saw the wall that was the 9th kilometre. Perhaps this was what Mark Walsh was talking about when he said pace him to 9k as there was no way I was getting up the wall ahead of him. Thankfully I only had to beat myself to the top before the plunge down to the finish right outside the GAA club.

10. A Prize for Sadie

I think that it was a pity that I wasn’t able to win the race as a tribute to Rhona’s dog Sadie. I did my best to try and win but I suppose in a way it was a good tribute to Sadie as she always preferred chasing things which is what I ended up doing for most of the race, trying in vain to chase Mark Walsh and a Garda car around the many hills of Dunmanway.

Cork BHAA Musgraves 5K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA Musgraves 5K

1. Social Racing

I think that if I was a race I would be a BHAA race. They are great events, there is no stress, there is no worry, everyone is welcome and most importantly they don’t worry about being exactly on time. I have great problems with punctual people like John Meade and Viv who worry about being on time and give out when I am always late, 8pm is approximately the start time, don’t be getting stressed about it, it’s only a race, aren’t we lucky to be able to run, have a chat if you are early.

2. The Line

I think that this is the first time that a race has started on the line. The line is an unusual place to start a race. It is a nightmare for runners as the GPS signal is terrible so you can’t really rely on your watch. Despite the potential for inaccurate Strava many good runners had decided to turn up so I was faced with opposition not too dissimilar to the John Buckley 5k.

3. The Relay

I think that the great thing about being a person who doesn’t worry about punctuality is that when you are already late there is no problem in being a little more late. The start of the race just so happened to coincide with the women’s 4x400m relays race so we waited while Graham showed it to the 10 people who could see it on his phone and the rest of us listened. 400m races are short so it wasn’t long until we lined up at the S across from the lamppost a few 100m up from the Blackrock Train Station.

4. The Tunnel

I think that last night’s race would have been a good race for someone who likes collecting sounds. I think such people exist. The sound of a couple of hundred carbon plated shoes thundering through the dark tunnel where the teenagers light fires and break glasses was something special. Once we emerged from the tunnel it wasn’t long before we reached the 1km mark at the Mahon Point exit where Pa Murphy was on hand to tell us how slow we were going.

5. Secteur Pont Piéton

I think that the run to the pedestrian bridge over the south ring was what I imagine must be the running equivalent to the entrance to the Arenberg Forest in the Paris Roubaix. It was fabulous to charge at the narrow bridge, I seemed to be the only one in the group that was aware that we were going over the bridge so I got to the front as we approached the crucial narrowing having watched too many cycling crashes.

6. Cork (Nearly Has a) Track Club

I think that Anthony Mannix needs to be stopped. The clip he gave me just before the pedestrian bridge was worthy of a 6-month ban. It was like something an Armagh GAA player would do knowing that the referee won’t see it. I know that clipping is an inevitable part of running in a group, even I clipped Conor slightly earlier in the race but this was scandalous and likely coached by Ian who should probably be banned too.

7. Viv on a Mission

I think that if there is one lesson that I have learned in my many years of running is that you can never write off Viv. He is fueled almost entirely by a hatred of me. I should take a lot of credit for how well he is running as I don’t think he would be as motivated if I wasn’t as annoying. As usual Viv did not appear on my right shoulder until 3km, it’s always my right shoulder for some reason. Unfortunately, he was accompanied by Kris, Gavin and Peter Hanrahan all of whom seemed a lot more comfortable than I was.

8. Distancing

I think that it is always horrible to get dropped from a group in a race. My distancing by Viv and co started just after we passed through the 3k mark where Pa Murphy was on hand again to tell us how slow we were going. I was actually very pleased by the time Pa called out as I don’t think I’ve ever run 3k as fast. Then slowly but surely I couldn’t keep up. I don’t think Viv and co got faster, I just got slightly slower and the gap grew and grew until I could feel the ever so slight headwind that we began to encounter on the run to Blackrock Castle.

9. All Wrong

I think that I got my tactics all wrong for the race, my first mistake was not having enough talent to win the race, my next mistake was not just sitting in behind everyone and getting dragged around like Viv does. These two mistakes were enough to result in a terrible beating by Viv, it was nearly 10 seconds in the end which is huge and terrible. It was only one place so it doesn’t look too bad on the results but I may as well have been in a different race.

10. Supermarket Sweep

I think that the prizes for the race were excellent. They were in the smallest envelopes ever, too small to contain cash. Instead, they contained the next best thing SuperValu and Centra gift cards. Rhona won two prizes and I was lucky enough to get a spot prize for turning up late to the prize giving. The spread was hoovered up along time before I arrived but apparently it was as excellent as one would expect from Ireland’s largest wholesale business and purveyor of fine vegan food for the likes of me.