Cheetah Run 5K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cheetah Run 5K 2024

1. It’s Not About the Shoe

I think that magic shoes should be banned from the Cheetah run. It should be a natural run with no assistance from foams or carbon plates. The cheetahs, lions and ostriches have no magic shoes so it would be in keeping with the surroundings if we went back to basics. But we don’t do that so when the AlphaFlys arrived after 10 days spent in Little Island’s An Post depot I couldn’t wait to test them out and see if they would give me an unfair advantage over John Meade.

2. Thunder Road

I think that Bruce Springsteen could have done a better job of limiting potential adversaries at the Cheetah run, only Barry Twohig and Viv seem to have been diverted to SuperValu Pairc Ui Caoimh. The start list which MyRunResults helpfully send before the race so you can check if you are likely to win a prize or not contained quite a few people with more running talent than me, not to worry I had AlphaFlys.

3. Revolut Call

I think that I was right not to answer the phone call from an unknown number that showed up on the drive over to Fota. It turns out that it wasn’t a scam Revolut call as I had thought and was in fact another form of scam where John Meade looks for a singlet off you because he has forgotten his own. Just like with the other scam calls I think he eventually found a victim as he was wearing a nice Joma singlet when I met him on the line.

4. AlphaFly Indicators

I think that AlphaFlys should come with a set of indicators or perhaps an inbuilt siren which beeps when you are about to turn left or right. When the race started I got off the line really well as they are very, very, very bouncy in a straight line. I got to the first downhill lefthand corner by the cheetah enclosure in the lead but when I went to turn left like I normally would I couldn’t, so I had to nearly stop to get around the corner. This caused much upset and delay to Mark Walsh and allowed Sergiu to open a gap that would remain to the end.

5. Horses for Courses

I think that the Cheetah run was probably not the race to test a pair of AlphaFlys in. They are an incredible awkward shoe and need wide flat smooth straight roads to be of any use. The second kilometre around the back of Fota was entirely unsuitable to AlphaFlys, the only thing that was good about it was that the potholes were marked with the same colour paint as the AlphaFlys so it would have looked great if there was someone there to take photos. I decided that there was no point in taking any risks so I sat at the back of the second placed group led by John Meade and Mark Walsh until the surface became more AlphaFly friendly.

6. Cheetahflys

I think that the most encouraging thing about the AlphaFlys was the responsiveness of the shoe. I have not given up on them yet as the shoe that will give me a huge advantage over everyone else. When the surface improved and the road widened after about 2k there was a little gap to John Meade and Mark Walsh, all I had to do was stamp hard on those pods on the front of the AlphaFlys and the gap magically closed. It was an unusual feeling to be able to get back up to them without any great effort and bodes well for a more normal course.

7. Ostrich Climb

I think that the third kilometer was the hardest of the race. It is also the most interesting as you come back into the wildlife park and get to run past all the animals who wish that you weren’t there. As we passed through the wildlife park gates I was still just about in contact with the group fighting over second place. Mark received his instructions from Donie which were to stay there, there being behind John Meade and definitely not in the front of the group. Dermot from Carrick on Suir was the unknown quantity with Kris stuck to my back.

8. Kangaroo Corner

I think that kilometer four was where the battle for second was decided. Like most road races nothing dramatic happened. I noticed a bit of lull at about 3.5k as we went past the red panda enclosure so I tried to go to the front. John Meade was having none of this and picked up the pace again. Mark Walsh did as he was told and waited. Then as we passed the Penguins Dermot took it on with Mark stuck to his back still waiting. John Meade had no response to the Dermot attack. As we passed the Kangaroo running in circles around Billy I was left in fifth with Kris the only threat for the final prize.

9. Monkey Flyover

I think that the monkeys in the monkey flyover had the best view of the race. I imagine that the monkeys were very impressed with my bright yellow AlphaFlys as I bounced passed confident that it was the night when I would finally win a prize. As I bounced up the final hill and reached the crest of the hill by the Giraffes still in fifth I was confident that I could do it as I felt unusually good for the end of a 5k. All I had to do was get down the hill faster than Kris.

10. Snakey Sprint

I think that Kris did very well to outsprint me on the run to the line as I did everything right. It was about 50m from the line when I saw him coming up the inside. Having watched a lot of track races I knew what to do so I shut the door and left Kris with two choices go around the outside or go on the grass. Unfortunately, it hadn’t rained enough so the grass was no disadvantage and Kris was able to nip by and snatch the final prize from my claws by less than a second. I’m getting closer.

Photo: Graham Meikle

Bweeng 5K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Bweeng 5K

1. Bermuda Triangle

I think that if it wasn’t for Google Maps no one would be able to get to Bweeng. It is interestingly located at the junction of about 16 roads all of which lead to nowhere. Luckily Google Maps means that it is a relatively simple 38 minute drive from Glanmire but rather unluckily a difficult journey for someone who has to go via Mitchelstown for Billy minding reasons.

2. VIP Treatment

I think that race organizers should copy Bweeng and offer the VIP treatment for an additional price. I was able to avail of this service by entering the race twice. The service involved Fast Track parking at the venue 10 minutes before the start and personal number delivery by Gary Walsh. It was well worth the double entry.

3. The Tech Race

I think that the Bweeng 5K would be well up there when it comes to the level of technology in use at the race. The lead car was setup to video the action just like that great race in Eyeries when I won in great style which was thankfully captured in 4K high definition for all to see. In addition to the stationary camera Gary Walsh was running around with a Go Pro like an experienced YouTuber with Brian Ahern directing the action with a fancy looking microphone. All they needed was a star athlete to win the race, I hoped and expected this would be me.

4. Freefalling

I think that the start of the race is very fast. Normally I’m very good at these downhill starts as I have a significant height and weight advantage over most of the field. I was hoping to have a significant lead by the time we reached the first corner but Aidan Noone had other ideas and had a good gap by the time we reached the left hand turn in the village of Bweeng.

5. Anti-Gravity

I think that Barry Twohig must have access to some special race simulation technology that tells him the perfect moment in a race to launch an attack. He is a master tactician with a winner’s instinct sort of like the opposite to my 4th place instinct. When we rounded the left-hand turn after the downhill start, we were all hit by the wall of gravity plus the struggle to adapt from quad to hamstring based power. Barry chose this moment to launch the decisive attack, he quickly gobbled up Aidan’s lead before opening the gap that would never close.

6. Traffic Cones

I think that I might have been able to get up to Barry if it wasn’t for the traffic cones. In the aftermath of Barry’s calculated attack, I was left in a group with Aidan, Darragh from Killarney, Barry of the Cork Still No Track Club and Adhamh O’Leary. I was behind Darragh but couldn’t get by him because he was hugging the traffic cones in the middle of the road and I can’t run on the left of a cambered road due to the stiffness of my ankles so I had no option but to wait for the turn for home at 3k.

7. Cork Still No Track Club

I think that it is very hard for athletes in Cork at the moment to be good at 5ks when there is no track. Where are we to do the all important 400m reps that are essential for 5k racing? Luckily on holidays I did my annual track session of 10x400m at 75 seconds a lap so I was possibly the most prepared athlete for the race. Once we round the cone halfway out the road to nowhere my third place came under threat by Barry from the Cork Still No Track Club. Knowing that I had that track session under my belt I was able to fend him off and instead focus on trying to navigate my way past Darragh and the traffic cones.

8. Over My Shoulder

I think that there is nothing worse 4k into in a 5k that the sight of someone out of the corner of your left eye reaching your left shoulder. At 3k it had been Barry, when someone else appeared at 4k I assumed it was Barry again but instead it was Adhamh. I don’t know how he edged ahead but he did, I tried to use my track running ability, but I couldn’t close the slight gap. To make it worse Darragh was now far enough ahead that the traffic cones were no longer a valid excuse for not passing him.

9. Flying

I think that I was very fast for the last kilometer of the race. There is one picture on Facebook where it looks like I am flying with both feet off the ground which is excellent. Unfortunately, in the same photo I am also in fourth position which is where I stayed despite flapping my hands like a huge bird trying to take off. I got withing one second of Adhamh by the finish line which I felt was a very good effort and should have made for excellent video content for the Bweeng 5k YouTube channel.

10. Second Best Social Media Account

I think that I will have to go on holidays again to find a track to ensure that I can win prizes in these races, I’m fed up of not winning a prize despite running pretty much the same time as the people getting all the prizes. I didn’t even have my usual excuse of not wanting to win a prize because the prize giving takes all day as the Bweeng prize giving was as efficient as the rest of the race organization and over before I even had time for a warm down. When it came to the end of the prizegiving they announced an award for social media contributions to all the road races. Naturally I assumed this was for me but instead they gave it to Graham.

Cork BHAA Pfizer 6 Mile

10 Things I Think About The Pfizer 6 Mile

1. Great Country

I think that Ireland is the best country in the world for running. We are very lucky, never mind the whingers. There is no place on earth that in May you can have ideal conditions for running at 8pm in the evening for €5 with chip timing. Thank god for the BHAA.

2. AlphaFly 3s

I think that I would have won the race easily if An Post had delivered my AlphaFlys for my birthday on my birthday. Instead they were stuck below in the depot in Little Island. Everyone knows that improvements in running come from buying new shoes, not training for years, it’s buying new shoes, that’s the key. That’s why you’ll see so many different varieties on the startline, everyone is looking for that shoe. That shoe for me is going to be the AlphaFly 3 I know it is, I can feel the PB coming.

3. Warm Up

I think someday I will get to a BHAA race more than 30 minutes before the start and get some sort of decent warm up in. I get very anxious about short warmups because it means that I will be well short of mileage for my Strava graph for the week. The anxiety was even worse for this race because I had to queue for a bathroom 10 minutes before the race which cost me even more all-important mileage.

4. Asics Frontrunner

I think that I would make a great Asics Frontrunner as I like leading for the first mile so the Instagram content from races would be excellent and write itself. The first mile of the race was a good bit downhill so I ran it as hard as I could which isn’t very fast but was enough to drag the competition. Unfortunately, there was quiet a bit of competition, Barry Twohig, Conor, Tadhg and Darragh. Two Barrs, two Leevales and a Bweeng.

5. Stay Ahead

I think that I did well to stay in the lead for the first two miles. I wanted to stay in the lead until the park as I knew that whoever was in front around the park would be able to control the pace. Going up over the bridge across to Haulbowline, Barry who’s AlphaFlys were on his feet and not in Little Island briefly took the lead but I got it back on the otherside of the bridge as it went downhill again.

6. Parklife

I think that we have been very lucky at every race that has gone around the Haulbowline Park. Every time it has been remarkably calm and no one has been blown into the sea. It was very pleasant leading the group around the park knowing that there was no space for anyone to pass so my lead remained unthreatened.

7. Over the Bridge

I think that I will have to get better at running over bridges. Every time the race went up over a bridge I lost the lead. On the way out of the park I lost the lead of the group to Conor who was probably horrified at still being in the same group as me 3 miles into a race. I was anticipating being dropped from the group at this point but on the other side of the bridge I was able to get onto the back of the group of five and hide behind Tadgh who is the perfect person for me to run behind in a race as he is the only person in elite level local Cork club BHAA running who is as tall as me.

8. Lead Out Man

I think that I had only one chance to win the race and that was to try and get some bit of a gap before the mile long climb back to the finish began. As we went through Ringaskiddy village I went to the front of the group and tried to push the pace as hard as I could. It was a pointless attack and served only to set Darragh and Barry up for their mile long uphill sprint to the finish.

9. Battle of Big Hill

I think that it was very impressive to watch Darragh fly off up the hill. He made us all look terrible on that last hill, I was made to look most terrible as a huge gap opened with only 400m of the hill gone. Barry went after him in his AlphaFlys with Conor hot on his heels. I was left with Tadhg to battle for the all important 4th position and no prize. Tadgh in Vapofly3s that were the same colour as Barry’s AlphaFlys proved impossible to catch on the hill and emerged victorious in the battle for first person with no prize.

10. Easy Four Miles

I think that it’s interesting how people experience the same race. I thought that I had made the first four miles hard and entirely miserable for the group with my Asics Frontrunning but to Darragh the first four miles was nice and slow. I suppose it must have been relatively slow as Darragh and Barry’s fastest miles of the race were the final uphill mile with my slowest mile the same mile. Then to make it worse Tadhg reminded me that it was the first time that he had beaten me. Those AlphaFly 3s had better be good.

Olbia21 Half Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Olbia21 Half Marathon

1. Parco Fausto Noce

I think that Cork City Council need to go to Olbia to see how you build a park, I’m sure they’d be happy with a trip to the sunshine. Olbia has the most perfect running park I have ever seen. It has a track, a huge playground, two fountains, a one kilometre road width loop and a two kilometre loop all withing a tiny footprint that would fit anywhere in Glanmire. It was so perfect that I couldn’t resist doing a session on Thursday that probably wasn’t the best idea with a half marathon on Sunday.

2. Bureaucracy

I think that Italian races are the hardest to enter. It is almost like they don’t want any people like me running. French races require a medical certificate which is fine, Italian races need a medical certificate and evidence of affiliation to a world athletics affiliated club which is harder to get than you’d think. I thought I’d fixed it all by paying €15 for a Runcard which I presumed would make everything ok, money normally makes problems go away.

3. Are There Any Kenyans?

I think that the registration was full of surprises. I ran down to the square in the sunshine on Saturday to collect my number. When I got there, I saw my envelope with the sticker on it saying, “not certified”. I was well prepared for this, I had all my three documents ready, the medical cert, the Athletics Ireland screenshot and the Runcard. I showed them and was quickly given my envelope which I was delighted with. I jokingly asked the organizers if there were any Kenyans running, “yes, they are sitting over there in the café”, and sure enough there they were. All chances of a podium and the €700 for first were gone.

4. Fake Josh Kerr

I think that if the Kenyans weren’t enough of a surprise when I got to the start I met a fella who looked suspiciously like Josh Kerr, dressed head to toe in the professional Brooks gear and hanging around with a girl wearing a Scottish clubs singlet. He wasn’t actually Josh Kerr but a Slovakian version. We traded PBs and discussed the heat before we were called to line up for the start.

5. Umbrella

I think that the start of the race was excellent. This is the first race I have been at where there was a five minute dancing performance involving the Umbrellas and the Rhianna song. It was very good; I was lined up in between the two Kenyans who weren’t as impressed with the length of time that the performance was taking. When the dancing finished the gun was fired and off we went in the sunshine towards the big wheel before looping back over the big bridge.

6. 15%

I think that my race was over after two miles. After 100m it was obvious that the Kenyan would win as he ran off with two fellas that were doing the 10k. I was left with Fake Josh Kerr, and a few handy looking locals some of whom were doing the 10k. We had a nice group for about a mile before I started to feel the heat, after two miles I was boiling and reluctantly had to drop off into no mans land.

7. Solo

I think that being solo in a half marathon from two miles to the end is no fun. Up ahead once the 10k runners turned off at about 6k I counted that I was in 5th which wasn’t too bad. 4th was not catchable and there was no one behind so there wasn’t much to run for. The only entertainment I had was the wild gesticulations and musical language of the drivers who were being stopped from driving down the road.

8. Go to Beach

I think that the best part of the race was the section along the Pittulongu beach. The problem was that getting to the beach involved running up a very steep mile long hill to get to the beach. The beach was worth it though and if I still used Instagram the pictures would be excellent and make everyone want to run the race.

9. Heat Training

I think that when running in the heat it is very important not to worry about Strava. I spent the whole race looking at my watch seeing the average pace gradually drift higher and higher. I simply can’t run when it gets over 21 degrees, that seems to be the cut off. I just get slower and slower. I know how it feels at this stage so I just ran home as best I could. Up ahead there was a brief moment where I thought I might get 4th as Francesco who had won the Alghero race I ran last year was sent the wrong way at a roundabout but he got going again and held me off easily enough.

10. Don’t Run with Runcard

I think that the main lesson I learnt from the race was that if you are running a race in Italy don’t use Runcard. Runcard is like running a BHAA race as an unregistered runner, you aren’t eligible for any prizes. I just missed the podium because I had to checkout of the AirBnB, I asked if there was any prize for 5th and was given a nice bottle of Sardinian wine but without the trip to the podium. When I was walking back to the car I met Francesco who told me that even if I had come 4th I still wouldn’t have gotten the €250 as Runcard runners aren’t eligible for prizes. All you should enter with is the medical cert and the evidence of Athletics Ireland membership. Less is more when it comes to entering Italian races. Just as well I did that great session in the lovely park on Thursday.

Great Railway Run 25k 2024

10 Things I Think About The Great Railway Run 25k

1. Suncream

I think that races where you have to put on suncream before the race are my favorite types of races. Normally these races don’t happen in Cork but miraculously after six months of cold rain and wind Sunday morning was calm, lukewarm and sunny. Perfect weather for the unusual distance of 25k between Cork and Carrigaline.

2. John Buckley Loop

I think that the new route for the race is better than the old one. Because of the digging up of the Marina we got to do the John Buckley 5k loop before heading out onto the line. I had mapped the course out on Strava the night before so that I knew where I was going. On the start line I met a lot of people that I would rather not have raced over 25k. Two former Cork Marathon Winners, the winner of the most Cork BHAA races in history, Barry Twohig, Aidan Noone and Danny Mullins. Too many people when there were only prizes for the first four.

3. Making the Calculation

I think that the 25k distance is possibly more tactical than the marathon. There is a fine line between what you can run for a half marathon and 25k. It’s almost the same but not quite. Based on the half marathon last week I figured 5:30 pace was about the limit so I ran the first two miles around the loop a little bit faster than 5:30 hoping that it would encourage a few people like John Meade to just do a handy run. Initially only Cillian, Aidan and Danny decided that my pace was suitable which was perfect, a group of four for the four prizes.

4. The Breakaway

I think that Danny Mullins should get the award for most aggressive racer of the day. He ran an excellent race in a style that I approve of, just before we got to the pedestrian bridge at the end of the line he gradually increased the pace and left the group of four. I looked at my watch and saw 5:30 pace so I wasn’t able to go with him and instead stayed with Aidan and Cillian. You normally don’t catch someone in a race when dropped so I was pretty sure that second place was all that was left to play for.

5. Just Me and You

I think that it looked very good for a second or third place finish after 10k. As we ran along the water on the cambered path between Hop Island and Passage that pays the mortgages of the physios of Cork, Aidan said to me that Cillian had dropped off. Normally in a race, after 10k if you can’t hear or see someone you aren’t going to see them again, so I was quite confident of a podium place, all I had to do was keep going.

6. The Away Kit

I think that the worst part of the race was in Monkstown. Monkstown is a lovely spot, I was happy out looking at the boats in the sunshine when suddenly I was passed by John Meade and Barry Twohig both dressed in the St Finbarr’s away kit of all orange. I had no option but to latch on to the back of the orange train which thankfully was moving at my limit of 5:30. I almost enjoyed being towed along as the uninvited guest for the few miles between Monkstown and Raffeen.

7. AlphaFly Ascent

I think that this was a race where a pair of AlphaFlys paid for themselves. All was going well until we reached the start of the climb from Raffeen to Shanbally. I hadn’t noticed Barry’s new vibrant yellow AlphaFly3s until I saw them bouncing up the hill destroying any hope myself and John Meade had of victory. It wasn’t long before Danny’s significant lead was in doubt such was the pace difference up the hill.

8. The Dynamic Duo

I think that John Meade and Barry Twohig are a dangerous combination. As we left Shanbally Danny’s hard built lead was just about to fall victim to the luminious yellow AlphaFlys of Barry. John Meade while not as impressive on the climb was still impressive enough to destroy any hopes I had of a second place finish. On the climb out of Shanbally Danny was swallowed up by the dynamic duo who quickly disappeared off up the road in their orange singlets.

9. Don’t Give Up

I think that just like in a marathon you never know what is going to happen in the last few kilometers of a 25k. I was wearing a special Ronhill singlet that is supposed to help cool you down. I think it worked as I didn’t feel any heat in the last few kilometers. I could still see the orange train and the distanced Danny up ahead as we passed the turn off for Curraghbinny so I kept pushing hoping that someone might encounter trouble and increase the size of my prize.

10. Sunshine and Envelopes

I think that I was very lucky that the last kilometer of the race was downhill into Carrigaline. As we got to the 24k marker I caught back up to Danny. I knew that I had to go straight past him as I couldn’t beat my own shadow in a sprint so I went as fast as I could for that last kilometer. I went so fast that I nearly caught John Meade which would have been amazing, but I didn’t so I ended up third which wasn’t bad. Barry won by miles and got the biggest envelope and a big trophy. I was happy with my envelope and even happier to sit around in the sunshine after the race. If only it was like this for every race.

photo: https://corkrunning.blogspot.com

Ballintotis 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Ballintotis 4 Mile

1. Ballintotising

I think that it has been too long since I last raced Ballintotis. For a multiude of reasons I haven’t raced it since 2017 when I ran 22:00 in a pair of Brooks Ghosts which according to the validated Michael Herlihy magic shoe calculator is equivalent to 20:48. Amazingly and shockingly this was John Meade’s first ever time Ballintotising, the alure of a potential county champion medal was probably too much to resist for him.

2. Good Parking Comes to Those That are Late

I think that the parking for the race was amazing. Tim kindly drove us down and also provided Billy minding services, we were slightly later than most people who seemed to arrive at 5:30pm for the 8.00pm start. We arrived at 7.30pm and were awarded with the best car park just before the turn into the finish only 500m from the hall.

3. Les Amis de Ballintotis

I think that the roads in Ballintotis should be preserved like they preserve the cobblestones in Paris Roubaix. They are proper roads for road racing, they have everything one could want in a road race surface, a nice camber, filled in potholes, dust, mud, soft verges. It’s a proper test of strength and agility, none of that smooth black tarmac stuff.

4. Elite Level Organisation

I think that Ballintotis could handle a world road race championships. The organisation is elite level. They could definitely achieve a gold label event. Everything worked, over 1000 runners in a small village the size of Anglesboro should not be possible but somehow it all hums along perfectly. The start line should be a mess but instead it’s probably the least stressful start of any race.

5. Sun Safety

I think that it was nice for the rain to finally stop. It was becoming silly how cold, wet and windy all the races had become. Apparently, it is always sunny for Ballintotis. It was so sunny that the sun was almost dangerous for the first mile. The first half a mile was terribly fast and slightly uphill. Once we turned right after the hall we hit the sun, perhaps due to having not seen the sun in six months it was hard to see the lumps and bumps on the road so I had to pick up my knees to make sure I didn’t trip and end up getting trampled by 1000 runners.

6. Chariots of Fire

I think that for a small race in the countryside there was an atmosphere like a big city marathon. They even had music at most of the mile markers. Chariots of Fire gave a little boost around two miles. At that point I was at the front of a big group of people that I wanted to beat. A foreign athlete Brian Murphy was helping me at the front with the likes of John Meade hiding behind waiting to pounce once the line was in sight.

7. Tarmac

I think that it is a terrible shame that they put smooth tarmac at the left turn between two and three miles. I would love to have seen how bad the road was for Cork County Council to have spent money on the road. These old style roads should be preserved only for running and should only be repaired using tar and chippings to preserve the character of the race.

8. Three Miles

I think that I was very surprised to be still ahead of John Meade at three miles. I had pushed the first two miles at an effort that was probably unsuitable for my moderately old man legs. To my surprise when we got to the three mile mark I had only the foreign athlete Brian Murphy for company. I could see Aidan Noone and Mark Walsh just up ahead so I began to think less of John Meade and more of catching my Leevale colleagues.

9. Talking Tactics

I think that I could probably have run a faster time if it wasn’t for the tactical running of John Meade. I had been running honestly and with full effort until we turned left onto the N25 by the lake. Then in the corner of my left I eye saw the all too familiar sight of John Meade rolling level. I thought he might keep the pace honest but instead he decided to slow down so we all bunched up leaving the foreign athlete Brian Murphy to escape up the road. It took James Hayes bombing past us on the outside at twice the speed for John Meade to be triggered into action just before we turned into the finishing straight.

10. Championship Sprint

I think that the finish of the race is wonderful. The last 500m of the race once we turned off the N25 was like a bunch sprint in the Tour De France except it was for the Cork County Championships and it was in Ballintotis and not on the Champs Elysees. Once I hit the 400m mark on the road I launched a hopeless effort at catching John Meade and Aidan Noone but succeeded only in being passed by James McCarthy in sight of the line. No shame in that I suppose. Great fun at a great race.

PHOTO: Graham miekle

Les Foulées d'Orléans Half Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About Les Foulées d'Orléans Half Marathon

1. Old Orléans

I think that the best way of finding races abroad is to find the race after you’ve booked the trip. We were going to Paris for the weekend but there were no races on in Paris which was terrible so I looked a bit outside Paris and found a race in Orléans that looked nice. They even had a 10k and a 5k on before the half marathon so Rhona could do a race too.

2. Electric Car

I think that Michael Herlihy is right about Electric cars. They are great. No one wants to drive one so the rental car companies will give them to you for next to nothing. Fortunately, Orléans is very close to Paris so I didn’t have to risk charging it so it was like having a proper car like a Volkswagen Scirocco just that it didn’t make any noise.

3. Two Minute Warm Up

I think that this might have been my shortest warm up for a race. The parking for the race was very convenient right by the Cathedral only 100m from the start in a big underground car park. There was even a toilet in the car park. Unfortunately, I missed the turn off for Orléans because I was too relaxed in the silent electric car so we were slightly late for the 10k that Rhona had planned to do. I ran up to the registration and switched her to the 5k using my excellent French. There were 30 minutes between the end of the 5k and the start of the half but by the time I had installed magic shoes everyone had lined up for the half so skipped the warmup and negotiated my way to the front.

4. Streets of Orléans

I think that the opening loop of the town was lovely. I asked one of the guys on the start line where the course went. He told me that we did a warmup lap of the town before heading out to the river. It was a lovely lap of the cobbled streets, sort of like the races in Spain but in France. The only blight on the course was a Starbucks café at a sharp right-hand corner, other than that it looked like it would have looked in the 1800s.

5. Banks of the Lovely Loire

I think that the race route was wonderful. After the lap of the old town we ran over a bridge to the otherside of the Loire and did a little loop that made up the 5k before heading out on a Paris Roubaix style path along the banks of the Loire. We exited the Paris Roubaix section by turning right onto a bigger bridge. We then turned right again off the big bridge heading back to the town centre on a slightly downhill cycle path. It was lovely and sunny with enough heat to make the locals head for the shade where possible.

6. Out of Sight

I think that the local Ryan Creech must be very good. After 100m it was clear that I wasn’t going to win as the local Ryan Creech had already checked out. He was so much better than us that they put a second motorbike in front of our group. For a moment I thought that he might have pulled out and that we were in the lead but I could hear the friends of the people I was running with saying that we were the deuxième.

7. The Battle for Second

I think that I did very well in the battle for second. There were two other runners in the group. They both looked like they were far better than me and had friends on the course handing them those flexible flasks that mountain runners use. We had to do two laps of the course to make up the half marathon. It was great to do two laps as I got to see the finishing straight twice. It was as good a finish as you can get finishing right in front of the huge cathedral which is possibly the most impressive cathedral that I have ever seen.

 8. Paris - Orléans

I think that my tactics for the race worked perfectly. My group stayed together until the final Paris Roubaix section at 10 miles where I made my move, well in my head it was a move. Imagining myself like a Tom Boonen or Mathieu Van Der Poel I dropped the group and got a slight gap before we turned off onto the bridge and back onto the downhill cycle path to the finish. I had a motorbike in front of me clearing the way. A motorbike in front is great motivation to keep going.

9. Joan of Arc

I think that the finish of the race was very nice. I wish I had of been more confident of my second position as I had to work very hard for the last uphill mile. It would have been nice to have enjoyed seeing the big statue of Joan of Arc before turning into the home straight up to the Cathedral. Instead, I sprinted as hard as I could when I saw the Cathedral as I was sure there was someone right behind me which there wasn’t due to my devastating attack in the last secteur.

 10. L'opportunité C'est Enorme

I think that I will have to go back and learn more French. After the race the monsieur with the mic came over and asked me for an interview in French. I gave a full Ronan O’Gara style interview where I probably insulted the whole town by calling the Cathedral an Église. I didn’t understand the questions he was asking me so I reverted to the french leaving cert oral tactics of saying the sentences I knew about running a race. Then I went on the podium and got half a meter of local chocolate and €75, what more could you want.

https://www.larep.fr/orleans-45000/sports/foulees-d-orleans-revivez-en-images-la-9e-edition-qui-a-attire-3-000-coureurs-ce-dimanche-matin_14486095/

Cork BHAA PWC 5K

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA PWC 5k

1. Training Season

I think it’s great to have the midweek races back. They are a great excuse for not having to do a training session. I don’t particularly like training sessions, everyone else seems to love them, there are even podcasts dedicated to people talking about their training sessions in great detail. I wish that more people in Cork would do training sessions instead of races so that I could win BHAA races.

2. Evening Preparation

I think that it takes a while to get back into the flow of an evening race. An evening race is a lot harder to prepare for than a morning race especially for the belly. I basically ate toast for the day to keep the belly happy. Then I had to take a beetroot shot for the first time in the evening which is more unpleasant than in the morning.

3. Some Turnout

I think that there must have been nearly 1000 people at the race. It was a very big crowd for a small 5k on a dank, wet and windy evening in early April. It is great to see that so many people have discovered how great running races is. The BHAA people registering 1000 people in one hour is impressive work.

4. The Fear

I think that it is interesting that no matter how often I race I am always scared at the start. When I got to the start line at Kennedy Park, I found a terrible number of good runners, Denis Hegarty, Aidan Noone, James Hayes and Adamh who I jogged over to the start with. At least I’ll be able to beat Peter Hanrahan I thought.

5. He Gone

I think that Denis Hegarty is a very good strategist. It is an excellent strategy to just run away from everyone at such a pace that no one will even think about trying to follow you, Mark Hanrahan used to do this to great effect. Before we got to the Live at the Marquee junction after about a kilometer Denis had the race won with second and third place being all that was left for decision.

6. Cork No Track Club

I think that being able beat all of the Cork No Track Club athletes would guarantee at least a few BHAA road race victories. They may have no track, but they have some good athletes. Tonight, they sent James Hayes, I knew he was probably going to run away from me over the last mile like Anthony and Barry normally do but it was nice to be able to stay with him for a while.

7. It’s The Athletes Responsibility to Know the Course

I think that if I learned anything from last year it was that you could potentially become a national champion over 10k by knowing the course when everyone else doesn’t. Because of that race I now study the race route in great detail before the race so that I can win if there is any confusion. The bit around SuperValu Pairc Ui Caoimh seemed to cause James Hayes great confusion. James Hayes is a nice man so I told him where the course went and we were all fine.

8. The Monster

I think that Billy is a very good judge of characters. He has always called Peter Hanrahan the monster ever since they first met in The Edge when Billy was about two. As we came back onto Center Park Road for the final mile I was horrified to see Peter cruising along with perfect form looking completely untroubled in his Swiss engineered On Cloudboom Echo shoes which no one else wears. I knew that we were all doomed if Peter was in touch within sight of the line so I tried briefly to push the pace to get rid of him. It did nothing, this monster was undroppable.

9. That Point

I think that races are very annoying. The worst part of any race is that point when the group you are with gradually eases away and there is nothing that you can do about it. It is terrible and doesn’t seem fair at the time as you are trying very hard. As we passed the Marina Market it was still a group of five, first James Hayes slowly increased the pace, followed by Aidan. Then to my horror Peter followed Aidan and I was left briefly left with Adhamh before he too gradually distanced me. There was nothing I could do except run home as fast as I could and try and get under 16 minutes which I didn’t.

10. Zero Carbon

I think that the BHAA races are very green races. The Green Party would have been very happy with me tonight. Tim gave me a lift into the race, the race number had already been used at least once if not twice and I gave it back afterwards, even the safety pins had been used before. Then to make it even greener I ran home as my warm down as I hadn’t reached the acceptable amount of running for the day which is currently 10 miles. There are benefits to not being good enough to win prizes, it’s probably green not to win prizes too.

pHOTO: gRAHAM meikle

Cobh 10 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cobh 10 Mile

1. The Great Wind Island

I think that the winner of the race today was the wind. The wind was a great wind, an unusual wind, it was very strong, it was big, it was consistent, and it brought no rain. I heard a lot of negative things being said about the wind, if I were the wind, I would be extremely upset at what was said about me out on the course.

2. Rest Day

I think that I will never again take a rest day before a race. I said I’d try it as everyone seems to think that tapering is great. The wind on Saturday made it easy to do no running as it was even windier than today. I ran no miles on Saturday even though there was nothing wrong with me which makes no sense to me. I expected to wake on Sunday morning feeling like a fella who drives a Tesla after two weeks of restful holidaying in Center Parcs. Instead the rest day did nothing, if anything I felt worse that normal, even the combination of coffee and beetroot shots didn’t work.

3. Never Judge a Startlist by its Contents

I think that it was scandalous altogether that all the better runners than me were allowed enter after the entries had closed at 1000 people. The published start list looked very promising for a potential top 4 finish, John Meade, Barry Twohig and Anthony Forristal seemed to be the likely 1,2,3 so I was hoping for my usual 4th place finish and a few bob. I was absolutely horrified to arrive at the start line and see numbers that went over 1000. What made it worse was that every person with a number over 1000 was a very good runner with far more talent than I have. It was very unfair on me.

4. The Fast Two Miles

I think that the hardest job today must have been pacing. On a calm day the Cobh 10 route would be hard to judge but with the great wind it must have been next to impossible, even an AI robot would have had difficulty calculating the splits required. The race went began with two miles with the great wind behind us. They were also downhill miles which made them very fast. The late entries group plus Anthony Forristal took off at a Sean Tobin course record breaking pace. I was left with the group that entered the race before the deadline. We went through two miles bang on 10 minutes which was about as good as the race got from a Strava bar graph point of view.

5. Alp Du Cobh

I think that the geography of Cobh is unusual. It is an extremely hilly island, very similar to Achill in that it has great wind and great climbs. After the first two miles the Strava bar chart took a steep drop, the beetroot juice stopped working, the wind started blowing and the road went up and up. The first hill before three miles is probably the worst on the course. It destroys average pace, destroys it and makes ones Strava look terrible. I just about got up it on in contact with Barry and John who climb like sherpas compared to my elephant like efforts.

6. Hatred Acid

I think that the combination of the great wind, the great hills and constantly being destroyed by John Meade and Barry every time the road titled upwards generated excessive hatred. On Youtube influencers use €400 lactic acid testers to test their lactate so they can put numbers they don’t understand on Strava and sell stuff to people with too much money. I think I might develop a similar hatred tester, a simple prick of the ear to test the blood for hatred. There is probably a hatred inflection point too where the hatred becomes too much for the body to process like happened to me today just after mile 5. I’m not sure what you would do with the data but sure everyone loves data.

7. Sports Psychologist

I think that the next big thing will be in race psychologist calls. It’s only a matter of time. I would definitely have paid money for someone to talk to me from mile 6 to mile 8. The wind, the straight road, the John Meade disappearing up the road with the other fella I don’t know wearing AlphaFlys. It was torture. I needed to phone a friend and have them talk to me and tell me I can do it. Instead I was swimming in a sea of hatred acid with a horrible wind pushing me further and further away from John Meade.

8. The Rugby Match

I think that the worst part of the great wind was the turn just after mile 8. It was cruel, like a trick. I ran down the steep hill full of hope thinking that once I turned the corner the great wind would blow me back to Cobh. Unfortunately the shape of the great island meant that the great wind was a full on headwind for that crucial ninth mile. When I rounded the corner it was like the wind turned into a giant second row rugby player and stood me up preventing any further forward progress. Then to make it worse Barry Twohig came flying by like he was running in a different climate.

9. The Final Straw

I think that the last mile of the race was wonderful. If all the other miles had been like mile 1, 2 and 10 we would have been fine and all broken the course record. The race organisers should make that happen next year, they could either turn the island around or run the course in the opposite direction. I would have been very fast on mile 10 too but just as I started it I came down with a case of exploding toe nail which meant that I couldn’t be bothered trying to chase Barry so I jogged home, I slowed down even more when I saw that we were miles outside the most important metric in 10 mile running, the 55 minute cut off for being included in John Walshe’s list of almost good runners.

10. The Last Leg Hurter

I think that the Cobh 10 is the only race left that is brave enough to leave in the hills. Even though I’m terrible at the hills I love the hills, especially mad Cobh hills. It’s like returning to the good old days of Ballycotton, with wind, hills, sunshine, sore legs and a nice race mug at the end. The atmosphere in the town at the end is worth suffering for, just maybe dial down the wind a little and close the entries just after I enter so that I can win or maybe come 4th, that would be perfect.

Streets of Killarney 5 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Streets of Killarney 5 Mile

1. Running Weekends

I think that Killarney has the best Eason’s in the country, I haven’t seen an Eason’s like it in years, they even have newspapers and magazines. It’s great. They had one very interesting magazine called Football Weekends about trips to football matches around the world. Perhaps Irish Runner could relaunch as a magazine about doing races in tourist friendly locations with 100s of hotels like Killarney. I’m sure Discover Ireland could find some money to fund it, it could be a whole new industry.

2. Pre Race Hotel

I think that it is a bad sign when you turn up to a race hoping that no one else will show up. My hopes were dashed withing two minutes of arriving at the car park. First I saw Tommy Arthur, then Oisin Spillane, all hopes of victory were gone but there were prizes for the top three so there was still hope of some money to pay for the hotel. I had to book a hotel as I think it is against the law to go to Killarney without staying in one of the hotels.

3. Cold Cold Night

I think that Discover Ireland will have to do something about the weather on Good Friday in Killarney. It was unacceptably cold on the start line. While the scenery was stunning with snow-capped mountains enveloped in big black clouds which were dumping buckets of rain into the lake it was quite unpleasant to stand around in. If we could have the scenery without the cold it would be perfect, just a suggestion.

4. UL Lions

I think that it was bad enough for Oisin Spillane to turn up to the race but for him to bring another UL Lion in Darragh O’Leary with him was terrible. It doesn’t matter that they are from Kerry and I am not, I had entered the race in expectation of winning and it is very disappointing when you already know you aren’t going to win before you start. Then to make it worse Gavin Sweeney jogged up to the shivering start line cementing my position just outside the prizes.

5. House Party

I think that the setting for the race start must be one of the best in the world. It has a big big house in the background with lovely gardens framing the lakes and the mountains. When we got underway at precisely 6.30pm we took off on a lap of the house which was like the Parkrun route but in reverse. Oisin and Gavin took to the front quickly and by the time we looped back to the big big house they had opened a gap that would only grow larger.

6. A Million Marshals

I think that the marshalling of the race was particularly excellent, there must have been a million marshals on the route making sure we went the right way. They even brought Trevor Cummins down from Cobh to help out. They were very important in the park as I hadn’t a clue where we were going. We navigated the first two miles in the park well before starting on the more straightforward laps of the town by going out the gate by the gate keepers lodge.

7. Downtown

I think that races around towns are my favorite types of race, they are even better when it is just getting dark. For the last three miles we did laps of the town on a one mile or so loop. The roads were fully closed with no cars and plenty of people lining the streets to watch moderately good old men runners like me. There was a great atmosphere and it definitely helped to keep the motivating going even if the locals were shouting primarily for their own runners.

8. Groupetto

I think that the best racing on the night came from the gruppetto that formed around me. The groupetto was battling for third place. I never really got into third place as Darragh O’Leary with his local knowledge led us around the streets of Killarney. I did my best to hang onto him and waited as more and more people gradually fell off the groupetto train until on the last lap I could only hear one set of footsteps and shouts of go on Conor from the crowd. I didn’t know who Conor was so I didn’t know whether to be worried or not.

9. Mach 5

I think that when you are in a sprint with someone it is very important to check what shoes the other person is wearing. On the last lap the elastic connecting me to Darragh finally snapped and I was left with just Conor in 4th place. As we rounded into the finishing straight in the car park Conor went ahead, I normally expect to loose sprint finishes so I began to give up immediately once challenged. Then I looked down and saw that he was wearing the Hoka Mach 5, a non magic shoe, this triggered a notion in my head that I might actually be able to win the sprint so I tried really hard and started to get back up to him passing him just on the line for the all-important 4th position and first person without a prize or so I thought.

10. Anatomie d’une finishing chute

I think that there will have to be a court case about the results of the race. I was full sure that I had finished in my usual position of 4th due to a combination of my excellent sprint and magic shoe advantage but when I checked the myrunresults website a few minutes after the race I was both shocked and horrified to see that I was 5th not 4th in exactly the same time as Conor and the Mach 5s. Thankfully I have both photographic and video evidence to back up my case. If it were not for this terrible error the race would have been perfect, instead I was second man without a prize which just isn’t right.

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Mallow 10 2024

10 Things I Think About The Mallow 10 2024

1. Efficiency

I think that 10 miles has become the new 5k. There are a lot of 10 milers on now which is great as it is probably my favourite distance as it doesn’t disadvantage bigness as much as the marathon. Mallow has kind of become the unofficial Cork 10 mile championship. It has a championship race feel about it, very professional, good for ego boosting times and racing. Turn up, collect number, race, be happy with time on the clock and go home. Great.

2. Cold Rain

I think that we need to build more cycle paths and do what all the Eamon Ryan fearing people on Facebook are worried about and get out of our cars. The climate is in a bad way. Nearly every race this year has had at least two of the terrible running conditions, wind, cold or rain, some have had all three. Mallow went with the lesser combo of cold and rain. The wind was absent.

3. Beet It

I think that you know something works when people don’t tell you that they use it. Recently I have discovered beetroot shots. Viv uses them which is all you need to know. Initially I tried one, now I’m up to two an hour and a half before the race, I reckon I need two as I’m bigger with possibly double the volume of distribution of a Viv. I had to pull over in Kildorrey to take them as per the protocol. Use code BEETITVIV for 1.5% off your next purchase.

4. The Hardest Miles

I think that the best thing about the Mallow 10 route is that the first two miles are the hardest two miles. All you have to do is get through the first two miles and you’ve most of the work done. I made sure to get a good start as I knew the section in the grounds of the castle would be tricky with the rain and cold. I got to the gate with Peter Somba and Sean Doyle where sensibly I let them off to commence their games. I settled in with John Meade and Derek Griffin who I decided would be good sensible pacers. Viv was miles back as he had run 10 miles before hand to get ready for a marathon and probably hadn’t bothered with the Beet It.

5. The Treble

I think that the third mile of the race was my favourite. It was so good that I considered peeling off at the roundabout and going home as I had run such a good four miles. When we got to the top of the course at two miles and turned back onto the N20 where we are normally welcomed by a soul destroying wind we were instead met with a climate change induced tailwind which I used to first steam by Michael McMahon, followed by John Shine and then up to John Meade. I even briefly overtook John Meade which put me in 5th which I believe would be my rightful position if I trained properly. Due to his hatred of me John Meade put in a dig before the roundabout which established a gap which proved decisive in the all-important battle for 5th.

6. No Clowns

I think that it is a pity that there was no repeat of last year and the curious incident of Barry being called a Clown at the racecourse. There was no wind this year so there was no work to be done. Running behind someone was of no advantage so groups ran together without fighting. Just like last year I was with Michael McMahon as we passed the scene of the clown at the racecourse, so I friendly called him a clown so that the world was right.

7. Catch John Meade

I think that having someone to hate and chase in a race is worth more than any training. From mile four until the end I had John Meade to chase. Unfortunately my chasing was very poor and he got further and further away with the gap being filled by John Shine, Derek Griffin and a fella in a pair of luminous AlphaFly3s that I have never seen before. I was left in familiar company with Michael McMahon in a battle for 10th

8. Hydration Station

I think that the term hydration station is unnecessary alliteration (or is it assonance or consonance). There was a sign with hydration station written on it at mile 7 which made me even more angry that I already was. Why can’t it just be called water. Water is fine. I don’t think you need water anyway when it’s 8 degrees and raining. Derek Griffin must have been similarly annoyed as he also skipped the hydration station.

9. No Hills Martin

I think that you should never listen to what the people on the side of the road tell you about the course. The last two miles were a bit of a struggle, 10th became the best I could hope for, the only consolation was that Michael McMahon who less than a month ago was running 2:26 in Seville was suffering more. With about a mile and a half to go we passed Martin Leahy on the side of the road who stated with confidence that there were no more hills left and that it was all flat which was very untrue. There weren’t any mountains but that last mile is harder than flat especially when you have Michael McMahon on your back.

10. Machiavellian McMahon

I think that sitting on someone in an amateur road race for a mile and half before sprinting passed them on the line should result in a red card like in racewalking. It would have been great if a person from Mallow A.C had stepped out just before the line with a red card and disqualified Michael McMahon for disgraceful behaviour in taking my rightful 10th place. The only consolation is that I got under 55 minutes which will hopefully get me on John Walshe’s list of good 10-mile runners which is my main motivation for running 10-mile road races.

Kilsheelan 10 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Kilsheelan 10 Mile

1. Algorithms

I think that artificial intelligence still has a lot of work to do. Despite the all-powerful algorithms I found out about this race in Kilsheelan a few miles east of Clonmel the old-fashioned way via Michael Herlihy telling me about it. Facebook seemed to think it would be of no interest to me, preferring to try and sell me even more running shoes. The Kilsheelan 10 Mile road race looked lovely, a nice Ballycotton style race on roads that I used to cycle but never ran.

2. Career Setbacks

I think that when you have had a major setback in your running career like I encountered last weekend in Den Haag it is best to get back racing as soon as possible. In general, regardless of the result it is best to get back racing as soon as possible. I felt fully recovered by Thursday when I took a good 10 seconds a kilometre beating by Michael Herlihy in a 6x1k session. This is probably what prompted him to tell me about the race.

3. Kilsheelan via Anglesboro

I think that getting to Kilsheelan from Glanmire would be very quick if you didn’t have to account for dropping Billy to Anglesboro before the race. Billy has had it with races so he was quite happy not to be standing around waiting for his father to come fourth again.

4. Marathon Mission

I think that it was great to briefly lead the race. I had hoped that it would be a great hatred filled battle to the line between me and Mike but two proper runners Sean Tobin and William Maunsell decided that the race fitted perfectly into their London Marathon preparation which was unfortunate for my chances of collecting some sweet coin. When we got underway the two lads took their time to get going so I led for about 150m before the marathon mission gradually gathered momentum and drifted off up the road effortlessly.

5. Two Mile Mike

I think that it is ironic that given his well-known love for electric cars Michael Herlihy accelerates into a race like VW Golf SDI from about 2003. There was no sign at all of Mike until about 800m when he appeared on my left shoulder as we passed the church. I felt the disdain for my presence before I saw him. We ran together for about a mile before the dirty diesel cleared and Mike accelerated away until he was far away enough for him not to be motivated by my proximity which is about 15 seconds of a gap. The gap remained steady for the next 5 miles.

6. Bonus Points

I think that 10 milers with rolling hills like in Kilsheelan should be classified differently. I’m not sure if you could get modern elite athletes to run a route like this, all modern popular road races are ludicrously flat or even downhill to ensure that the all-important race times get faster and faster so that Strava looks great. Perhaps you could count all the hills on a race route and get a time bonus for each little hill depending on the size of the hill, that might bring back the hilly races. Races like Kilsheelan are wonderful and should be what the sport is all about.

7. Rolling Mike

I think that it is interesting to watch someone run for 9 miles. I spent the whole racing watching, waiting, praying for Michael Herlihy to show signs of weakness. Having run with Mike for nearly 15 years I know every sign of weakness at this stage. I knew from experience to treat him like an angry dog and to keep a distance of about 15 seconds as any closer and he would speed up out of hatred for my presence. After about 5 miles I was happy to see that unlike on the first few hills where he powered up he had started to roll from side to side going up the hills which with Mike is a sign of terrible tiredness. I still kept my distance preferring a tactic of watchful waiting rather than direct intervention.

8. It’s the Athlete’s Responsibility to Know the Course

I think that I had a good chance of winning third place up to 9 miles. The one thing you don’t want to do when racing Michael Herlihy is to make him or have anyone else make him angry. Despite Mike knowing well that it is the athlete’s responsibility to know the course he nearly went wrong by turning left instead of going straight on like I knew because I looked at the directions from the stewards. My presence combined with the near miss on the race route resulted in an overly motivate Mike who took off like it was the first mile and not the tenth.

9. World Downhill Bike Path Championships

I think that if there was a world downhill bike path championship Michael Helrihy would be world champion. There is no surface that suits his running style better. I’m pretty sure that he was faster than the two marathon mission lads over the last mile. My safe distance of 15 seconds widened to 23 by the end with most of that gained in the last mile which was run on his favourite surface.

10. Vegan (and Gluten Free) Spread

I think that Kilsheelan must be the vegan capital of Tipperary. After a warm down with Mike where we discussed the great battle of Kilsheelan we went back to the hall where I wouldn’t collect any prize. The spread in the hall was better than any prize with trays and trays of every type of cake for vegans and non-vegans. The other vegan runners have been alerted, expect an invasion next year.

CPC Loop Den Haag Half Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The CPC Loop Den Haag Half Marathon

1.       Third Time Unlucky

I think that this must be my most entered and least run race. Fast course, low entry fee, handy location, what more could you want. It has the added benefit of having multiple races spread over the course of the day with a 5k at 10am, a 10k at noon and the half marathon starting at the excellent time of 2pm. Two hours between the races meant Rhona could do the 10k with no Billy minder required to be in attendance.

2.       Horrible Hummus

I think that you would be surprised how bad gone off hummus can make you feel. I made the terrible mistake of eating quite a bit of it on the Tuesday night before we left for Amsterdam. I wasn’t too bothered by it initially, being sick on a Wednesday before a Sunday race normally isn’t anything to worry about.

3.       Vondelpark

I think that the Vondelpark in Amsterdam might be the most perfect running park loop in the world, the city council should just copy it and land it into Glanmire, it would fit perfectly between the village and Supervalu. My prerace session was a non magic shoe tempo around the Vondelpark. The occasional session in normal shoes is good to remind oneself how great I was to run sub 16 minutes for 5k in a pair of Brooks Ghosts.

4.       Trains, Bakfiets and Trams

I think that spending a few days in Holland would make you question why you live in Cork. Glanmire is like the opposite of Holland, impossible to do anything without a car. In Holland it is impossible to do anything with a car. If it wasn’t for the Marwood hill and the death trap roads filled with SUVs around Glanmire I would definitely get a bakfiets.

5.       Frisbee Collection

I think that it is a horrible feeling turning up to collect a number for a race that you don’t think you’ll be able to run. By Saturday the horrible hummus poisoning was at it’s peak. I couldn’t venture far from a bathroom and I had struggled to run four miles in the morning. Believing in miracles I went to pick up the number and play frisbee with John Meade and Viv who I could tell thought I was just trying to psyche them out.

6.       The Fight is Off

I think that it is very important to know when you are beaten. The horrible hummus beat me badly on Saturday, by Sunday morning I was in no state to try and beat John Meade and Viv so I rang them and told them that I wasn’t going to race. I still couldn’t venture far from the bathroom so I thought there was no hope of being able to run.

7.       Den Haag or Go Home

I think that the best thing about this race is that the half marathon starts at 2pm. I could tell that John Meade and Viv were terribly put out by the late start, almost thinking that running doesn’t count as much if it isn’t performed before at least 11am. Rhona ran the 10k at 12 while I minded Billy, at that stage I didn’t think I could run but at about 1pm I won victory over the horrible hummus and suddenly felt like I could venture far from a bathroom so I decided I’d try and do some sort of an effort.

8.       Backpacks and Chicanes

I think that I severely underestimated how bad the start would be. Because I didn’t want to run full tilt I tried to go a bit back from the start. Getting to the start was a bit complicated because of all the 10k people leaving and all the half marathon people going in. I eventually got in to the start area and snuck my way through the crowds until I was about 100m back from the start. When the gun went nothing moved, it took about five minutes for the crowd to move. As we got towards the start I saw the problem, there was a chicane just before the start which slowed everyone down. I wasn’t too bothered as I didn’t think I’d be up to much anyway after the horrible hummus.

9.       City Pier City

I think that the race route is one of the better half marathons around the place. John Meade told me that CPC stands for City Pier City, I didn’t believe him initially, so I confirmed the fact. The route goes out to the beach, up along the pier and then back to the city. It’s quite pleasant running along through the Dutch streetscape which is very samey until about 10 miles when you reach the pier and you run along the people like seafront. There was no wind on Sunday but I can imagine it could be very bad on a bad day. The you turn right and run back to the city. All very flat.

10.    Beet It John Meade

I think that running a race when you have been defeated by horrible hummus would make you question the point of running. I set off at 6 minute miles and held that as best I could until the end. I spend the whole race weaving in and out trying to make up the 5 minutes I lost due to the chicane. I finished in 1:20 about 7 and a half minutes behind Viv which doesn’t seem like a lot when you consider how horrible the hummus was. Viv beat John Meade by a few seconds primarily because Viv took the beetroot shot that Rhona gave them both and John Meade didn’t. Beetroot and hummus, two very important factors in running.

MTU 5K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA MTU 5K

1. Marginal Complaints

I think that the BHAA changing the start time of the morning races to 10am is terrible. It was probably because of people like Viv complaining about how late in the day it was starting at 11am. With a 10am start I am guaranteed to be late especially for far away races like MTU. The worst part of the early start was taking a beetroot shot immediately after getting out of bed at 830 which is like having a squirt of tomato sauce for breakfast.

2. Clement

I think that the conditions for the 5k were the opposite of last weekend in Kinsale. It was perfect for running on Sunday morning, cold but warm when running, dry and acceptably windy. My warmup was a jog up to use one of the million secret toilets in the new MTU building that should be an indoor 200m track but isn’t. That left about 5 minutes to put on magic shoes which is about as long as it takes to get them on and tie the laces properly.

3. Diversity and Inflation

I think that it is great to see the wide variety of magic shoes in use at local road races. It used to be a sea of Vaporflys, now you have everything from Asics, On, Saucony, New Balance, Hoka, Adidas, Puma and even the odd Mizuno shoes without heels that look a physio’s dream. The Edge and John Buckley Sports must be delighted because we are now stuck in that impossibly expensive game of trying to figure out that one shoe that will give you the same advantage that Viv had when he destroyed me down the Marina in 2019 when I didn’t know about the magic shoes.

4. Familiarity Breeds Contempt

I think that the start of a BHAA race is a source of great motivation. If I tried to do a session of 400s there is no way that I would be able to get near the pace that I can run at the start of a BHAA 5k. On the dot of 10am we took off out the gate of MTU with Heywood flying off into what looked like an unassailable lead. After receiving a few pucks from someone who had probably been watching too many 400m indoor races on TV I resisted the tremendous desire to puck them back and got up into my normal position of on John Meade’s tail by the time we got to the roundabout where we turned left.

5. Social Distancing

I think that the most interesting part of the MTU 5k course is the series of downhill corkscrew bends after 1k. It is sort of like a chicane on an F1 track, designed to cause accidents so that people will watch a Netflix series. It takes skill and agility to negotiate the chicane properly. As we approached the chicane I was behind Tom McKenzie and John Meade, realizing that John Meade would probably handstand and backflip his way through the chicane gaining a massive advantage I knew I had to get in front of him to block him, so I swept around the outside of him just before we got to the entrance to the chicane. Then I held out my hands like the people used do a few years ago on the very same path when we were all running within our 5ks. It worked very well, and I exited the chicane in front of John Meade.

6. Leapfrog Heywood

I think that one of the things you don’t expect to see 2k into a 5k is a fella bent over tying his shoelaces. After his promising start poor Heywood had to relinquish his unassailable lead as he had fallen foul of the notoriously terrible laces on the Vaporfly 2. He was just about finished tying them as my group came past. I presumed that he would just jog the rest of the race but within a few seconds a resurgent Heywood with fully secured shoes came storming through the middle of our group at a ridiculous pace in a futile attempt to regain his hard-earned lead.

7. Shoelace Tying Competition

I think that it would make BHAA races more interesting if we all started with our shoes off and had to put them on and tie the shoelaces sort of like a transition in triathlon. Heywood lost 15 seconds tying his shoe laces which is almost precisely as much as the magic shoes give you over 5k. It would be a good equaliser and allow us to compare results with the times in races back in 2018 when you used to be sore for a week after a 5k.

8. Hybrid Hatred Engine

I think that beating John Meade is one of the hardest tasks in Cork running, like Heywood he was wearing the Vaporfly 2s but unfortunately unlike Heywood he had them well tied up. I got to about 4k in contact with John Meade but as soon as the road turned upwards after the tennis courts John Meade and Tom said goodbye and began to disappear up the hill in that annoying way that generates pure hatred that will be stored up in my hatred battery and used to absolutely destroy him in a crucial four mile race somewhere in East Cork when I’m fit for that week in June or July.

9. New Adversary

I think that it is great how running is always refreshing itself. I have been doing BHAA races since 2006 and have had countless people that I have wanted to beat and have inevitably beaten. My newest rival in races is Kris, I don’t know who he is replacing in the game that is elite level local Cork running but he is proving hard to beat. I got to the final turn back into MTU just ahead of Kris but on the sprint to the finishing line by the new MTU building that should be an indoor 200m track but isn’t he destroyed me like he was a young John Meade.

10. Will Someone Please Think of the Children

I think that the only good thing about the new BHAA 10am start was that there was an option to do two races in a day with the Karen Fenton 5k race on at 1230 only 10 minutes away. I would have loved to have raced both the 5ks like a true running influencer but instead it was a good way for both Rhona and I to do a race without requiring Billy minding. Billy is not a fan of the double races; one race is enough to be dragged to on a cold Sunday morning in March.

Kinsale 10 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Kinsale 10 Mile 2024

1. Momentum

I think that once you have conquered a terrible running injury it is best to get back to frequent racing as soon as possible so as to prove to the injury that you have fully defeated it. After the victorious return to racing in Doneraile I decided to do Kinsale mainly because I couldn’t face doing a session and Rhona was doing it so I’d be down there anyway. It was sold out but being regarded has having moderate running ability I was able to get a late entry by sending an email and providing some money.

2. Seagulls

I think animals know the weather better than any Windy.com or Met Eireann forecast. All you needed to know about the weather in Kinsale on Sunday was that the seagulls sheltering from the bitterly cold wind and rain had their heads tucked into their wings. Sensible seagulls.

3. Saile

I think that we were very lucky with parking, parking on a day like Sunday was crucial. I had driven down the night before so I knew that parking was at the GAA club which was far enough from the start to result in a significant decrease in body temperature both before and after the race. Luckily when we got to the roundabout before the school the poor misfortunate Garda on traffic duty told us there were spaces at Saile about 500m from the startline. Not only were there spaces but there were toilets with no queues and you could park outside the door which minimized how cold you got before the start.

4. Inappropriate Clothing

I think that the old saying there’s no such thing as inappropriate weather is incorrect. There was no clothing suitable for Kinsale. It was too cold and wet and windy and flooded for any clothes or shoe combination. They don’t make magic shoes in GoreTex and you’d have been blown away if you wore a jacket so the only thing to do was wear a long sleeve under a singlet and then put arm warmers over the long sleeve. This worked quite well and I was only moderately cold when I left the car eight minutes before the start.

5. One Way to Warm Up

I think that the only way to warm up on a day like Sunday in Kinsale is to go out hard for the first mile. I haven’t executed perfect training or performed any training blocks in nearly four months so this was a questionable strategy but I got nice and warm and it probably frightened Viv and Mark Walsh who have been training perfectly.

6. Viv

I think that it is great to be back in races tormenting Viv. It took a mile for Mark Walsh to drop me which was further than I had expected to get, then I was caught by Viv and Kris. The first five miles are uphill so Viv had opened a small but significant gap by the time we reached the top of the mountain. I knew that Viv’s efforts would be pointless and on the first big downhill I swept by in about 10 monster strides destroying his hard earned gap. “Weight is great” I said as I passed which made him very angry. I knew I had no hope of beating him so I was just happy to be able to be tormenting him five miles into the race.

7. Asics Frontrunner

I think that it is a great pity that I am not an Asics Frontrunner. John Meade would also love to be an Asics Frontrunner so he alerts me to the application process every year. We both apply and both get rejected without fail, I think I’m getting an auto reply at this stage. I can’t understand why, I have a blog, do lots of races and have a full head of hair which would be useful for selling shoes. This year I also applied to Saysky who have a similar program to the Asics also on the advice of John Meade and again was rejected. Kris on the other hand appears to have been selected by Saysky as he was decked out from head to toe in very nice Danish gear which was probably especially designed for Kinsale conditions.

8. Negative Truth

I think that one of the main problems with running is the amount of negativity that surrounds running. You’d be better off to have never met another runner or person involved in running and know absolutely nothing about what supposedly is correct or true or wrong. As I got further and further into the race all I kept thinking was “you’ve no training done”, “you shouldn’t be able to race 10 miles”, “you are an idiot”, “you are going to get injured again” etc, etc. While this is all to some extent true, most of the time you are better off not knowing the truth and just running by what you feel which is the most important truth.

9. Equalization Algorithms

I think that running has a fundamental problem when it comes to weather. Running is a silly sport obsessed with one measurable parameter, time, independent of everything else. It is mad that a race run on a flat course in perfect weather will always be seen as better than a race run on a hilly course in a storm. For the Olympic marathon it is 2:08 to qualify regardless of course or conditions which is silly because 2:08 in Valencia or Seville is not 2:08 in Kinsale or Reykjavik or some other windy cold wet place. So what are we to do? Do we all just accept that all races should be in Spain in winter? Or do we come up with some method of assessing performances. Anyway, my main point is my time in Kinsale was better than it looks.

10. Finish Line is at the Car

I think that the finish of the race in Kinsale is very nice, it is well executed with the nice track so that Viv can extend his lead over you to 10 seconds in 200m. The only problem this year was the weather which meant that once you crossed the line you had to keep going or you would die of the cold. I said well done to Viv and Kris who had collected the last of the prizes and jogged back to the car where I got changed and put on two coats which was just about enough. I kind of enjoyed it. I’ll come back next year to win a prize.

North Cork A.C Doneraile 5K 2024

10 Things I Think About The North Cork A.C 5k in Doneraile Park

1. Build Back Better

I think that every good long injury is a good opportunity to fix all the many niggles that you have. Because my injury wasn’t desperate altogether, I was able to do a lot of strength training and a little bit of cycling on Zwift while the pointless little annoying bone that is the fibula knitted itself back together. After three months of torture I am probably good for another two years of running without injuries hopefully. I have learnt a lot of lessons which I hope to forget

2. Divide and Conquer

I think that this weekend was a great weekend for racing in Cork with nearly everyone gone to Seville for the marathon. On Saturday I had a meeting with John Meade where we decided to divide and conquer with John heading to Carrigaline for an inevitable victory while I headed to Doneraile which is the only place in Ireland where I can win a race.

3. Harald Fairhair

I think that the Norweigan’s can teach us a lot when it comes to running. I am a great fan of Norweigan training methodology and mythology. In an attempt to speed up the injury recovery process I adopted a strategy last used by the first Viking King of Norway and told to me by the Norweigan physio and new Leevale runner Chris which was not to cut my hair and beard until I had conquered the injury. It has worked excellently and apparently when you cut your hair things get even better.

4. Superstition

I think that a race in Doneraile Park is a non-traditional choice of first race back after a crippling injury. Because after my last stress fracture and probably the one before that and the one before that my first race back was a 5k in Doneraile Park I kind of had to keep up the tradition as I got nearly two and a half years of injury free running out of the last race. That and Michael Herlihy is involved in organising it and as much as I enjoy tormenting him it is nice to support him.

5. Signs of Injury

I think that when you have had more injuries and comebacks than most people have run races you don’t really get nervous about the first race back. Sure I came back grand the last time why wouldn’t I come back again? I was late as usual for the start arriving at 1045 for an 11am start so I installed my original pink vaporflys and jogged over to collect my number at the big gate. It is actually a good test for recovery from an inury as you can tell the injured runners by how early they show up for races, if you are there an hour before there is probably a crippling injury that requires bands and dancing to loosen out before racing, 15 minutes before means 100% health.

6. I Remember

I think that it doesn’t take long to remember how to race. When we took off down the hill from the big gate one of Michael Herlihy’s future super stars took the lead. I was happy to follow behind with Kieran McKeown and Stephen Crowley. I took the bad bend at the big tree as terribly as normally before taking the lead as we went onto the trail after the bridge.

7. Hatred

I think that the thing I missed most about racing is the pure hatred. I haven’t hated anything in over four months and because I had raced too much before the injury the hatred had become very dilute by the end of last year. My hatred reservoir has replenished fully after the few months off, it’s almost overflowing. I like Kieran McKeown, he is a very nice man and an excellent coach but I had to hate him a lot for the first mile to get rid of the sound of his Vaporflys hitting the gravely trail. It took until the second bridge to get rid of him.

8. Corners

I think that the one thing that I didn’t fix while I was injured was my cornering ability. There are a lot of corners in Doneraile I basically had to stop at the corners because it was slippy and I am terrified of falling because falling caused all of my problems in the first place. I didn’t fall and my stress fracture leg was excellent at pushing off the corners so I was very happy.

9. Relax

I think that the last kilometre of the Doneraile 5k is one of the best finishes to a race in all of Ireland. What other race finishes on the uphill drive to a big old beautiful house. Because I was trying to hold onto some of my hatred for another day when I have to take on John Meade or Viv. I looked back to see where Kieran was, he was close but far away enough that I didn’t have to sprint just keep going which I did.

10. The First Law of Running

I think that the most crucial aspect of a comeback race is the warm down. It’s nearly more important than the race. It is a very good sign when you don’t even think about the warm down and just do it. This means that the injury is completely gone. If I was still injured I’d have needed to use bands and do dancing which I didn’t have to which was great. The unfortunate news is that because injuries are neither created nor destroyed only transferred from one runner to another there is now another runner out there with a crippling injury. I’m just glad it’s not me anymore.

Bone Stress Injuries

10 Things I Think About Bone Stress Injuries

1. Air Crash Investigation

I think that running injuries are a lot like plane crashes. It takes a number of things to go wrong before one will happen. In my case it involved a pine cone, a fall, a bad cut on a knee, a refusal to take a few weeks off to let the cut heal and trying to run enough mileage to run a marathon. Remove one of those things and there is a good chance that I’d have run 2:32 in Dublin and 2:22 in Valencia. Instead, I have spent the last 7 weeks staring at a screen while cycling a bike and handing out bottles at a marathon.

2. Six to Eight Weeks

I think that the four most feared words in running are “6 to 8 weeks”. This is the answer any physio or doctor will give you to the question how long will it take for my injury to get better? 6 to 8 weeks is actually medical code for “I haven’t a clue, but most minor things get better in two months, go away and leave me alone and don’t be coming in every week looking for some magical treatment that will make it better”. 6 to 8 weeks is scarily accurate with stress fractures of the fibula and metatarsals I have found.

3. Grumpy Old Men

I think that when you get injured you will encounter three main types of people, those that don’t care that you are injured, those that feel sorry for you and those that are genuinely delighted that what they have been predicting for the last two years has finally happened. Talking to either of these three types of people will annoy you, the only type of person that you will be able to talk to without getting angry is another injured runner.

4. The Injury Formerly Known as a Stress Fracture

I think that I will still call my injury a stress fracture rather than a bone stress response in the right fibula. It sounds more dramatic and satisfies the grumpy old men who will be delighted by the words stress fracture. Because of past experience I knew what the start of a stress fracture feels like so I stopped running the week before Dublin Marathon and got an MRI before an actual fracture line developed like would have happened when I was 23 and completely mad.

5. The Protocol

I think that I could sell my stress fracture protocol at this stage. The protocol involves two weeks of nothing, no running, no cross training nothing. Then after two weeks I start Zwift or the cross trainer for an hour a day after four weeks add in a weekly run on the Alter G with some hopping and then after 7 or 9 weeks get back to a small bit of running. It’s a depressingly tried and tested protocol. Bones need loading to heal.

6. Cross Training

I think that it should be illegal to do any more than an hour of cross training. The cross trainer at the gym should alarm and stop if you try go over an hour and people in white coats should arrive to take you away to the injured runners asylum. There are few things as pointless as a cross trainer, at least on Zwift the man on the bike on the screen is cycling around an imaginary island which almost makes it feel worthwhile. All cross training must be logged to Strava, the only social media platform that can be used during injury.

7. Another Week

I think that the best way to cope with an injury is to take it week by week. “How’s the injury?”, “Grand, I should be back in another week or two”. It works even if you know it’s a lie, a week is manageable. 6 to 8 weeks seems too long, it couldn’t possibly take 6 to 8 weeks could it. Saying another week 6 to 8 weeks in a row is much easier on the head. As it gets better you can graduate to “another day or two”.

8. Pain

I think that the hardest part of the injury process is the last two weeks. If I hadn’t experienced countless stress fractures, I’d probably go back running after 4 weeks when the crippling pain was slightly gone but I now know that it’s best to wait for most of the pain to be gone. The pain of a stress fracture is unusual, it’s a deep nagging pain. In my case I can tell it’s all gone when I hop on it pain free for a few minutes and the leg doesn’t have a resonating sensation in it 10 minutes after the hopping.

9. Myths

I think that there are many myths when dealing with stress fractures. One of the big myths is that if you do any running on it over the course of the all-important 6 to 8 weeks the clock resets to zero. This is very untrue and is used by physios and doctors to scare runners into not running. If you have a stress fracture and a dog chases, you it is perfectly ok to run. The stress fracture will be fine, it might even feel better a few days after being chased by the dog due to the loading. Bones need loading to heal so a little hopping towards the end of the 6 to 8 weeks will speed things up.

10. The Fear

I think that once the injury is over it takes around 6 months for the fear to recede. For those 6 months every niggle will be a stress fracture, every ache another 6 to 8 weeks, every run a potential injury. Then gradually the madness will return, the fear will recede, and you’ll wonder how does anyone ever get injured before the confluence of events will occur again resulting in another 6 to 8 weeks of social media silence which is possibly the worst side effect of any running injury.

N.B Don’t take any of this as advice, as evidenced by getting a bone stress response in my right fibula I have no idea what I am doing and most of what I think is completely wrong.

This is what i think mri reports should look likE. tHE TEXT IS FROM MY MRI REPORT.

tHE FINDING NEAR THE TOP OF THE FIBULA IS THE LAST BONE STRESS INJURY I HAD IN 2021. tHIS DOESNT HURT AND WASN’T CAUSING ANY ISSUES BUT STILL SHOWS ON THE MRI REPORT. mri REPORTS OFTEN SHOW STUFF THAT ISN’T ACTUALLY AN INJURY.

Autumn Open XC 2023

10 Things I Think About The Autumn Open

1. Old Man Trial

I think that this was the third of hopefully at least 40 times that I will run the old man cross country trial. So far I’m three from three on at least making the reserves with one actual appearance when it was only against the North. I know that I’m far from the 6th best moderately old man at cross country in the country but it’s fun to actually try and qualify for something.

2. Bere Island to Dublin

I think that driving from Bere Island to Dublin in one weekend is not very good for running. To minimise the impact of the drive I stayed in bed until 11am had a quick breakfast and took of for Dublin. Billy and Rhona stayed at home because they had had enough driving for one weekend.

3. Experience

I think that the great thing about being a moderately old man is that you know stuff due to experience. I knew that the best time to arrive was about 1410 when all the people for the juvenile events would have left and I’d be able to drive right up to the start which I was. After an efficient double number collection, the regular and the M35 number, I was ready to warm up.

4. Portaloo Warmup

I think that the only problem with arriving 45 minutes before the start is that the warm up is a bit hectic. My warm up involved running over and back to the portaloo. My legs felt terrible mainly from the drive and a little bit from Bere Island.

5. How’re the Legs?

I think that it is wonderful self sabotage to be able to answer the question how are the legs immediately before a race, “they’ve been better, I ran a race yesterday”. Michael Harty found it funny, although he was probably laughing more out of pity than anything else, I’d love to believe it was envy but it doubt it.

6. Beware of the Youngfellas

I think that there should be a pre race safety briefing for the moderately old men and old men before the race. The main content of the briefing should be a warning not to try and go off down the hill after the youngfellas who are only doing three laps because you will end up in a sea of lactic acid after a lap. I gave myself the safety briefing and took it relatively handy off the start which is great fun especially the bit where it narrows on the spike breaking path that is supposed to be a sand pit according to the design document for the course but isn’t.

7. Downhill Progress

I think that I made most of my places up on the downhill section of the course. My general plan was to run as hard as I could down the hill and then hold position as best I could up the hill. I think it worked well. I definitely prefer the 2k lap over the 1.5k laps even if it is probably a slight bit slower.

8. Performance Gauge

I think that it is very difficult to gauge your performance in a race where there are youngfellas, moderately old men, old men and normal men. After two laps I could see the back of Brian Murphy and Pat Fitzgerald so I was happy enough. Then I caught Barry Twohig who looked like he had fallen fowl of the youngfellas on the first lap.

9. UCC

I think that I could probably have run a better third and fourth lap. I started to get a bit lazy on the hill being happy to just hold position when I should have been trying to catch people. Pat and Brian got slightly further away every lap and by the end I was left battling with Ben Smith who confusingly was wearing a UCC singlet rather than a Leevale singlet.

10. Eight Best Moderately Old Man

I think that 8th in the moderately old man category was the perfect position to finish in, I will probably get named as a reserve which is ideal as I have absolutely no money left for a trip to Glasgow in November. Hopefully some year I can qualify properly by coming fourth and not be subject to the risk of wild cards being selected ahead me due to my lack of any historical talent. I imagine this will take until I become a fairly old man, but sure what harm. I’ve plenty patience.

Bere Island 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Bere Island 5 Mile

1. Return to West Cork

I think that it is amazing that races in West Cork aren’t as popular as races in East Cork. There really isn’t much difference between Bere Island and Ballycotton, the hills are a bit bigger and the views are a bit more spectacular that’s about it. I don’t understand it. Everyone should come to West Cork.

2. Catch that Ferry

I think that the race in Bere Island is unusual in that you have two opportunities to be late. The first opportunity for lateness is to miss the ferry from the pontoon. The ferry was scheduled to leave at 1:30, we got there at 1:28. Rhona was quicker at getting Billy onto the ferry than I was at stuffing magic shoes and a selection of clothes into a bag before being the last man on the ferry.

3. Photo, Photo

I think that boats are my least favourite form of transport, I love planes and trains but boats scare me. I’m not very scared of them I just don’t trust them. I was a less than enthusiastic participant in a photo which involved Graham getting everyone on the boat to one end of the boat for a photo which seemed like something that would result in a Netflix documentary called “Race to Bere Island”.

4. Kenmare via Belfast

I think that it is nice not to have to register until the day of the race. On the walk up to the village I had an eye out for anyone who could make the humongous hill even more horrible. When I got to the hall I spotted Tommy from Kenmare back from Belfast. I sent Rhona in with the entry fee to register while I figured out how to beat a man who was going to be significantly quicker on the horrible hill.

5. Where’s My Singlet?

I think that it was inevitable that something would have gotten forgotten in the rush from the car to the boat. To forget your singlet is bad but to only have longsleeve t-shirts as an alternative is a major problem. Everyone knows that you can’t race in a longsleeve. After warming up which hardened my conviction that racing in a long sleeve was impossible I asked if anyone had a spare singlet. I was offered an Eagle one but I’m not Jeremy O’Donovan so I couldn’t, then Carol found a Beara AC training t-shirt which fitted perfectly so I took that.

6. Beara A.C

I think that it would be nice to run for a club like Beara A.C. The colours are very nice and the name is very clearly Irish which is better than Leevale which often gets confused with being from London which is very annoying. The t-shirt was very comfortable, I barely noticed the difference, I even got to have a photo with my new team mates before the start.

7. Strava KOM

I think that there should be a separate prize in the race for the first person to the top of the humongous horrible hill. At the start the three Kenmare lads took off in front. I was happy out to let them lead it out, the less photos of me in the race in the wrong club colours the less likely I was to fall foul of some AAI rule requiring a six month ban from racing which would be as bad as getting a stress fracture. Once we began the ascent of the humongous hill it was down to me and Tommy to duel it out on the hairpins like Pogacar and Vingegaard in the Tour. Tommy took the King of the Mountains prize on Strava opening a 50m gap over the top which I was happy enough to concede knowing what lay ahead. I grabbed a newspaper from the side of the road and stuffed it down my t-shirt to prepare for the descent.

8. The Descent

I think that that descent off the horrible hill is one of the best descents in a race. It is that perfect gradient where you can take full advantage of gravity, there is one section with a sweeping right hand bend that feels like being on a bike it’s so fast. I used my weight and height advantage to sweep past Tommy and put as much of a gap into him as I could before the gravity ran out. It was very good fun.

9. Momentum

I think that the best part of the course is the last three miles of the race. They are super fast with a nice surface and some nice views. I spent the last three miles worried that Tommy was going to catch me so I gave it everything I had. The last mile is particularly fun with its tiny little ups and downs. Right until the line I was convinced that a red Kenmare singlet was going to come flying by but it didn’t and my red t-shirt was first across the line.

10. The Pub

I think that it is a pity that the race only involves spending two hours on Bere Island. I did my warm down along the ParkRun course where I met lots of Civil Defence people out training. There was no wind so it was particularly pleasant. Then we all went back to the pub for tea, Erdinger, orange juice and excellent prize giving before hoping on the boat back to the car and my Leevale singlet which had remained in the boot. I had to bring the Maillot Rouge back with me to wash it. I’ll return it in Eyeries hopefully.

Alghero Half Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Alghero Half Marathon

1. 1% Sardo

I think that running a race in Sardinia was a lot like running in West Cork. It feels like my ancestral home. Unfortunately 23andMe can’t test for West Cork but it can test for Sardinia and apparently I am a tiny bit Sardinian somehow, 1% to be imprecise. The little bit of Sardinian in me returned home thanks to Ryanair and a flight from Cork to Alghero. There just happened to be a half marathon on too.

2. Medical Cert

I think that the hardest thing about races in Italy and France is the medical cert. Italy is even more difficult that France as you need both a medical cert and evidence of Athletics Ireland Membership which is surprisingly hard to prove. When I went to collect my number in Alghero on the day before the race they gave me my number no problem but said I’d have to return at 8am in the morning as the man from FIDAL (Italian AAI) needed to see better evidence of Rhona’s AAI membership.

3. The Man from FIDAL

I think that the Sardinians must have been more worried about Rhona winning the race than me. When I turned up to meet the man from FIDAL at the appointed time it turned out that he wanted to see evidence from a lot of Sardinians as well. The line was very long, it was quite entertaining to watch the person at the front of the queue plead and gesticulate at the man from FIDAL before eventually obtaining a number. While I was waiting, I spotted two lads wearing Cork Marathon t-shirts. They looked Sardinian so I presumed they had taken advantage of the flights. Then I reached the top of the queue, showed the man my evidence which he didn’t believe, this prompted the local race organiser to come over and in Italian say something along the lines of just give him the bloody number which he did.

4. Half not 10k

I think that after the delay with the man from FIDAL I was lucky not to miss the start. When we arrived at the line we found a lot of people ready to go, I ran off to get to the front before being told that it was the 10k start and not the half. This was both great and terrible as another 5 minutes was another 5 minutes of it getting hotter and hotter. By 0935 it must have been close to 30 degrees. Sure how hard could it be. After a bit of razzmatazz and some Italian I didn’t understand we were underway.

5. So Easy

I think that I have never felt as good as I did for the first three miles of the race. It was almost effortless, jogging along at the front of a race in Sardinia at 5:35 pace thinking this is going to be great, I’m going to win €500, I even gave an interview to the guys on the back of a moped videoing the race. It didn’t even feel hot with the low humidity and ample pine trees shading the course. It didn’t last.

6. Boa

I think that it was all going perfectly until we reached the boa at 9k. One of the things I like about doing races abroad is learning what things are in other languages. Boa seems to be turnabout in Italian. Anyway, the boa was the end of my chances. Suddenly 535 pace became impossible as did 1st place. The Sardinians seeing my weakness in the heat pounced and very quickly I was distanced.

7. Go On Boi

I think that no matter where you go in the world there will always be Cork people around. As the course was an out and back and out and back course we got to see everyone in the race. The guys in the Cork City Marathon t-shirts who I thought were locals who had been to Cork turned out to be Cork people who had gone to Sardinia. There must be lots of Sardinian blood in Cork.

8. Fertilia

I think that by the time the race reached the small town of Fertilia which is about the same distance from Alghero as Cork is from Ballincollig my race was over. The road between the two towns is sort of like the straight road just with a beach with crystal clear water, pine trees and sunshine in place of the flooded fields and a permanent headwind. Fertilia was very hot, hot enough to induce get home without ending up in the hospital on a drip mode.

9. Settle for Sette

I think that it was handy to have the Cork lads in the race as they were able to tell me where I was in the race. 7th. Unfortunately the money only went to 5th so the best I could hope for was a masters prize. By the last three miles it was way too hot for an Irishman even with a tiny bit of Sardinian blood, even the 100% Sardos were complaining. I spent the last mile wondering how I would explain how hot it was for Strava as the time was not going to earn many kudos on Strava. I never came up with a good way so I just took a screenshot of the weather forecast.

10. Podium

I think that it was only right that I got to stand on the top of the podium it being my homecoming race. I won my category and proving the man from FIDAL right Rhona won her category too. The podium was outside in the sun at 1pm by which time it was stand under a tree for fear of burning alive hot. Despite the heat, the podium was excellent. We both got wine and pasta which was handy, I just wish it hadn’t been so hot as I really wanted to win a race in Sardinia. I’ll have to go back again, or perhaps emigrate there. It’s a very very nice place, I can’t understand why my ancestor left.